Extroverts might feel like an introvert is a mystical creature from a faraway land. You never know what they’re thinking, and they certainly don’t open up about their feelings. So how can you tell if an introvert likes you?
Luckily, I have a few introverted friends, and I’ve dated some in the past. So I can let you in on the secret introvert code they use. I can show you the signs an introvert likes you.
I’ll tell you what to watch out for and what types of behavior to pay attention to.
Introverts don’t have to be challenging. You just need to recognize the signs they like you.
- 1 13 Signs An Introvert Likes You
- 1.1 1. They change their behavior around you
- 1.2 2. They come up with excuses to talk to you
- 1.3 3. They will show up where you are
- 1.4 4. They get flirty with you on social media or with texts
- 1.5 5. Teasing you to your face
- 1.6 6. They will start talking and open up to you
- 1.7 7. They invite you into their personal space
- 1.8 8. They will make an effort to socialize with you
- 1.9 9. They want to get to know your friends
- 1.10 10. They like talking to you on the phone
- 1.11 11. They initiate the first contact
- 1.12 12. They pay attention to your life
- 1.13 13. They open up and show they care
- 2 FAQs
- 3 The Bottomline
13 Signs An Introvert Likes You
1. They change their behavior around you
Don’t get me wrong, introverts are not necessarily shy. So I’m not saying that an introvert will suddenly start blushing or stammering the moment you enter the room. However, they will change how they react around you.
These changes will depend on how confident they feel or their levels of self-esteem. Remember, introverts simply recharge their batteries by having alone time rather than being in social situations.
When an introvert with low self-esteem likes you, they may simply pay more attention to the things you say. They might laugh a lot at your jokes. They may nod frequently and agree with everything you say.
If their confidence is high, these levels of interaction will increase. For example, you’ll see an intensity in their observations. You will see that their focus is on you.
So pay attention if they are quieter than usual or more attentive. Pay attention to any changes. These are all indications that an introvert likes you.
2. They come up with excuses to talk to you
An introvert will rarely make the first move when starting a conversation with someone they don’t know well. That is not to say that introverts don’t want to talk to people.
Introverts spend time getting to know people’s deep thoughts and feelings. They spend most of their time in their heads, dissecting their own thoughts. So they relish the chance to swap ideas and opinions with others.
They do this by engineering situations where it is not obvious that they are striking up the conversation. So, if you are in a store, they might ask you where the changing rooms are. At work, they could mention that the fire alarm always goes off on a Thursday at noon. If you are out dog walking, they may comment on the breed of your dog.
What they won’t do is ask you out for a date or a coffee.
3. They will show up where you are
As previously said, introverts won’t ask you out for a date, because they don’t like to make the first move. But they will pop up in places they know you hang out. This way, they are in your proximity and have a chance to spend time with you.
Let’s be clear, this is not them invading your personal space. Introverts are not stalking you. Introverts use passive ways of getting to know a person. Frequenting the same bars or clubs is their way of getting to know you without the commitment of an actual date.
So you may keep bumping into them at the park. Or the supermarket or the bar you always go to with your friends.
Introverts don’t generally like to start up a conversation. However, they will make the first move via text or on social media. This spares their blushes should you not respond or if they get an unfavorable reply.
Introverts feel comfortable texting because it allows them time to formulate a response they are happy with. They are not on the spot as they are when face to face with someone.
Again, this is a passive way of communicating they prefer.
Going on social media and changing their relationship status is a big sign that an introvert has feelings for you. Liking or posting positive comments on your posts or pictures is another indication of flirting. A lot of introverts feel comfortable when they write, rather than speaking.
5. Teasing you to your face
Remember that irritating little boy at school that pulled your pigtails and made you cry? You ran home in tears, and your parents told you something you didn’t understand? When he pulled your hair, it meant that he liked you.
It’s the same in real life. I’m guilty of it myself. When I like someone, I tease them a little. I might make fun of them or make them the butt of a joke. Not in a horrible way, you understand. In a sort of cute, ‘you can take it’ way.
You have to understand that introverts often have a dry and sarcastic sense of humor. If they make fun of you, it means they like you. They are allowing you into their world. They care enough about you to think up funny things about you.
Believe me, they wouldn’t waste their valuable time on those that were not worthy of their attention.
6. They will start talking and open up to you
Your typical introvert is a listener, not a talker. They certainly don’t talk about their feelings. However, one of the signs an introvert likes you is if they ditch the small talk and start opening up a little.
This indicates that they feel comfortable enough to share their thoughts with you. Remember, introverts are private people. So for them to talk and not just listen in a conversation is a big sign.
7. They invite you into their personal space
For an introvert, their personal space is their private sanctuary. It is where introverts go to recharge their batteries. Extroverts get their energy from being around people. Introverts are the opposite.
Introverts need quiet time alone. Being sociable or amongst crowds for periods tires them out. They also tend to have a few close and intimate friends, rather than a wide circle of acquaintances.
So, if they make a point of inviting you over, take it as a sign of interest.
Introverts spend time in small gatherings or intimate settings, such as dinner parties or nights out with close friends. They don’t like big crowds, being the center of attention or loud people.
Introverts would prefer to stick hot needles in their eyes than go to a big party for hours. If your introvert agrees to do any of the above, it is a sure sign of interest.
9. They want to get to know your friends
Your average introvert will tell you that he or she has enough friends. And they are probably right. Introverts tend to have a couple of very loyal friends. They don’t need anyone else, apart from family members and a partner to complete their life.
So the fact they are interested in getting to know your friends is a huge deal. It means they are making an effort and definitely coming out of their comfort zone.
This won’t be easy for them so don’t push them to meet everyone in one go. Let them set the pace and the event.
10. They like talking to you on the phone
I know some introverts that actually feel panicky when the phone rings. It’s because they feel trapped as soon as they pick up. I’ve said it before, they much prefer sending a text or whizzing off an email to speaking on the phone.
Have you found yourself chatting for ages until the wee hours? Did you sense a reluctance to end the call? Watch out for signs like these.
To you, they seem normal, but to an introvert, they are significant.
11. They initiate the first contact
If there is ever one clear sign you should pay the most attention to it is this one. When an introvert goes out of his or her way to initiate contact, this is a huge sign.
These people do not make the first move. Let me repeat that just so you fully understand. THEY DO NOT MAKE THE FIRST MOVE.
So if someone you suspect of being an introvert calls you out of the blue, or texts you and talks about dating, take it from me, they like you.
12. They pay attention to your life
Introverts are observant people. Especially when they like someone. They want to know all about that person to surprise them with small gestures or little gifts in the future.
Introverts are thoughtful, so they’ll pick up on the things you say or do in passing. They’ll carefully store these nuggets of information away for another time. Then, when you least expect it, they’ll delight you with a caring surprise.
They like to make a point of choosing the best things they know you’ll love and cherish.
13. They open up and show they care
Until an introvert trusts you, they will keep their cards very close to their chests. They’ll hold onto their thoughts and feelings until they are sure they’ll be replicated.
However, once they are dating, then they let go with wild abandon. With the people they love and trust, they go overboard. These are the most loyal and reliable people you’ll ever meet.
They listen to your feelings and do their very best to support you through thick and thin. For introverts, the phrase ‘for better or for worse’ is how they feel about their relationship.
Introverts have a few loyal friends. They are selective about who gets their interest and love, they don’t waste time on people they don’t care about.
As a result, those who do receive their love and attention are truly blessed.
Watch out for subtle changes in behavior. Introverts might act awkwardly around you, or they may focus their attention on you directly. They might laugh loudly at your jokes or listen intently to what you say. They may even make the first move, something that’s unheard of for an introvert.
Introverts don’t usually flirt in the way extroverts understand it. What they will do is hang around and hope you get the hint. Think passive-aggressive with these guys. You’ll see them more often in your favorite hangouts. Paying you more attention than anyone else and listening more is their way of flirting.
Some are attracted to outgoing people because they admire their confidence. Others prefer a more laid-back personality that more matches their own. It all depends on the introvert. All introverts love deep and meaningful relationships.
Introverts don’t tend to fall in love easily because they like to get to know a person well before they commit to anything. This includes friendships as well as relationships. They take their time and weigh up all possibilities before making a decision.
Perhaps you are just too loud for them or they simply need their space. Introverts are mistakenly called out for appearing rude and can seem aloof. However, this is not the case. They easily tire in social situations and the solution for them is to remain silent which can come across as ignoring a person.
Introverts don’t have to be mysterious, you simply have to know the signs they like you. I hope my article helped reveal some of the secrets of the introvert.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.