Unlike the way it is with women, you cannot really tell when a guy is a virgin. There is no mysterious ‘mark of Cain’ or blood to grace the occasion. So, are there any ways for we curious types to figure out whether a man is a virgin? The answer is yes, but you should bear in mind that the signs are not always definitive.
Men are not always forthcoming about whether it is their first time or not, apparently, that’s not manly behavior. I am not going to try to say that I understand the psychology behind it, all I am here to do is pinpoint some tell-tale signs that it is his first time.
Without further ado, here are 27 ways to know if that man is a virgin.
- 1 28 Ways To Tell If A Guy Is A Virgin
- 1.1 1. They are nervous when conversations about sex come up
- 1.2 2. Kissing is awkward
- 1.3 3. Their closest friends make quips about him being a virgin
- 1.4 4. He is shy around women
- 1.5 5. He does not know his way around female garments
- 1.6 6. He is generally scared of physical intimacy
- 1.7 7. He talks about sex all the time
- 1.8 8. The sight of a naked body makes him freeze up
- 1.9 9. He may bleed
- 1.10 10. He asks for permission… a lot
- 1.11 11. Sex ends too quickly
- 1.12 12. If he has tons of misconceptions about female anatomy
- 1.13 13. He claims to have sex for hours with no end
- 1.14 14. He asks too many questions
- 1.15 15. He talks a big game but never makes a move
- 1.16 16. He has misconceptions about self-pleasuring
- 1.17 17. He keeps talking about how great in bed he is
- 1.18 18. He has a porn subscription
- 1.19 19. He has unreal standards
- 1.20 20. He makes a big deal about virginity
- 1.21 21. He tells you he is a virgin
- 1.22 22. He is unsure about what to do in the sack
- 1.23 23. He brags about all the women he has been with
- 1.24 24. He never talks about sex
- 1.25 25. The tip of his penis turns red
- 1.26 26. He is unsure about the moves
- 1.27 27. He is extra sensitive
- 1.28 28. It does not matter
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Summarize
28 Ways To Tell If A Guy Is A Virgin
1. They are nervous when conversations about sex come up
A typical sign that a guy is a virgin is that he is totally clueless when it comes to conversations about intercourse. You'll notice that he won't have anything tangible to add about his own encounter and won't look for ways to be included in the banter.
Nevertheless, he won't hesitate to laugh nervously at the wrong intervals or even clam up when asked for specifics about his partner and the whole experience.
For the most part, the virgin in question would probably just agree with everything you say on the topic and try to mask the fact that they don't fully understand the mechanics of intercourse.
2. Kissing is awkward
Squash sex, intercourse is not the only way to gauge whether a man is a virgin. You should look closely at the way they kiss. Sure, many non-virgins out there are not great when it comes to kissing, but most of the time, when a man is a virgin his kissing skills are subpar.
He may not even be a straight-up bad kisser, there may just be a touch of awkwardness or shyness in the mix.
It is mostly the shyness that will give it away, like I said before, people who are non-virgins can be horrible kissers too. There are other kiss-related indicators, for instance, if he over romanticizes the act then he is most likely a virgin.
3. Their closest friends make quips about him being a virgin
Yes, this could actually be some light fun among friends, who does not like to egg a friend on about them being crappy in bed or being a virgin? That may not be the relationship they have with your friends, but some people do.
On the other hand, they may be going hard on the boy because he has never had sex at all. As I said, there are really no clearly defined signs that a man is a virgin, but this is one of the ways you can sniff one out.
So, while your boyfriend may have friends that enjoy egging him on and teasing him, they may as well be telling the truth.
4. He is shy around women
When a man is a virgin, even being around women can be a bit too much of an adventurous encounter. He may not totally shrink into a corner and cringe when they pass, but he may not be as confident as someone who knows their way around a bed. It is not because he is intimidated by women, but he is not particularly used to being around women.
You see, when a man is a virgin, it seeps into other aspects of his life seeing as virginity is not a winning quality with most men. So, if he gets uncomfortable when women or men throw advances his way, then he may be a virgin.
5. He does not know his way around female garments
One of the most tell-tale signs that a guy has never been with a woman is that he can’t even manage to get a blouse off correctly talkless of a bra. In my experience, taking off clothes is an important part of having sex. He does not have to be an expert at taking everything off, but if the entire process is a hot mess, then your partner is probably a virgin.
I am just going to put it out there, this is not 100% true, but it's simple logic. Someone who hasn't taken off someone else's clothes before may have a hard time doing it at all.
6. He is generally scared of physical intimacy
If a man is a virgin, he may be a bit taken aback when faced with the reality of having a sexual encounter with a woman. It is one thing to be in charge of your own orgasm (if you know what I mean) but the thought of having to give someone else an orgasm or sexual pleasure can be daunting.
So, if a guy is a virgin, one of the signs is when he shies away from anything that leads to the bed.
If you have an inkling that it is his first time, then it is wise to ease him in, make him feel comfortable with you before jumping into bed.
7. He talks about sex all the time
There is such a thing as overcompensating and guys that have zero sexual experience like to make it look like they have had plenty of sex. Sure, there are people out there who claim to have had sex with many women in their lifetime and are simply bragging, but there are others who can’t tell an orgasm from a squeal.
In order to really tell whether this boy or man is fibbing, ask more questions. Just by listening to information about his love life, you should be able to tell if he is yet to have sex for the first time. There are many indicators that a man/boy is a virgin, but this one is just a 50/50, he could just be a boastful guy.
8. The sight of a naked body makes him freeze up
Have you ever taken off your clothes in front of a boy and had him stand there with no idea what to do next? Right off the bat, I am just going to say that he is most likely a virgin. First, no hot-blooded male takes sight of a naked female and doesn’t know what to do. Unless he is not into women, you should be able to get some sort of reaction out of him.
Note that not all men out there want to hop into bed with every woman on the planet, but for the most part you should be able to get a reaction that isn’t shock and confusion.
9. He may bleed
I know that I said there won’t be blood involved in the beginning, but it happens. It may be good to note that this does not happen to plenty of men. If a boy has his foreskin too tight around the tip, then his first experience may lead to some bleeding. Here’s the science behind it, once a virgin with this condition has sex for the first time in his life his foreskin will be tugged back.
Let me start by saying that it is not a pleasant feeling, it is painful and may lead to a little bleeding. For guys who have had sex, this is not a problem since they have already stretched out the area.
10. He asks for permission… a lot
I get that we are in the age of consent, and it is a good thing to ensure that you are on the right path with your partner. But, asking for permission to put a hand up your shirt or to introduce some tongue into the equation is a sign that he is nervous. At some point during foreplay and sex, things hit autopilot, only a virgin would ask permission and ruin the mood.
If this happens to you, there is no need to get snappy with the man in question. For the most part, none of us (man or woman) is perfect right off the bat. At some point, he will get the hang of it and the desire will drive him.
11. Sex ends too quickly
There is a difference between having a quickie and having an orgasm too fast, that is how you separate the boy from the man. Obviously, no woman wants to be drilled for hours with no end, but 10 seconds is not enough to reach an orgasm. Any male virgin will tell you that their first sexual encounter was short.
There is just something about being inside a woman for the first time in your life that pushes you right over the edge immediately. So, if he is a virgin, then you are most likely to have a very short-lived romp in the hay with that man.
12. If he has tons of misconceptions about female anatomy
Even with the internet out there, very few virgins have total knowledge about the female anatomy. When you hear a man saying things like a woman is too wide because of having too many partners or that she has a big labia because of the same reason, he is a virgin.
Yes, I agree that a lot of ‘skilled’ men still have misconceptions about the right or correct nature of everything down there, but if a man is a virgin, then he probably isn’t clear on the mechanics of a vulva.
13. He claims to have sex for hours with no end
This is one of the many signs that a man is clearly a virgin. Yes, pornographic movies will have you believe that you need to ‘drill’ the life out of a woman for hours to achieve pleasure. But, boy oh boy, no one really goes for hours without a water break. In fact, most women would go dry if you go for more than 20 minutes.
So, if you’re with a man who claims that he has had sex non-stop for 7 hours, then he is most likely a virgin. No one can, or even wants to go for that long.
14. He asks too many questions
He may be your friend, or he may be your man, but if he asks one too many questions about sex (whether it involves both of you or not), then he is a virgin. It makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? If you are not well informed about something in life, besides asking Google, you could simply ask people you know.
So, if he keeps asking about sex, then you can make the educated guess that he is a virgin. Sure, he may be someone who simply enjoys talking about the subject, but then being a virgin is also a solid possibility.
15. He talks a big game but never makes a move
Talk is cheap, they say. Well, that is one of the signs that a man is still a virgin. He knows how to get you all hot and bothered when you are texting and speaking on the phone. But when it is time to man up and do the deed, he pretty much shies away. If this sounds familiar, he is probably a virgin.
I am not saying that’s the only reason, of course, the man in question could simply be insecure about his skills or body parts. But the perfect explanation is that he is a virgin.
16. He has misconceptions about self-pleasuring
There is a group of ‘ignorant folk’ out there that believe that a woman only pleasures herself because sex is not satisfying enough. Let me just say, there is no universe where a starter replaces the main course. So, as great as masturbation is for women, it does not replace sex. As such, anyone who believes this has never had the opportunity of pleasuring a woman.
This may not seem like one of the more obvious signs, but it could be a pointer in the right direction if you suspect that he is a virgin.
17. He keeps talking about how great in bed he is
In my opinion, anyone who has to tell others how great they are in the sack is trying to compensate for something. In most cases, that something is the fact that he is a virgin. If you are good in bed, then actions will definitely speak louder than words in that respect. There will be no bragging or talking up, just raw and unbridled passion.
Again, he may be overcompensating for an aspect of his life or even a body part. People like to talk themselves up in one way or the other, so keep that in mind. The answer may not always be that he is a virgin.
18. He has a porn subscription
Many people today watch porn, that is a fact, it is mostly because it is accessible and free for the most part. So, if someone actually subscribes to porn online, then they are definitely not having sex. Sure, he could just be a nymphomaniac, but the most plausible reason is that he is a virgin. Who needs a porn subscription when a real live woman or man is ready to have sex with them?
Once again, the answer is ‘a virgin’. So, watch out for that porn stash in case you have access to his personal space.
19. He has unreal standards
Let’s say that you know this average-looking man who has insanely high standards about the women he wants. Of course, it is not a crime to aim high, but when someone hardly makes an effort to get the kind of woman he wants (or any woman for that reason), he is probably a virgin. He could simply be looking for excuses not to try, but there is another explanation for that.
Another way to look at it is that he is protecting himself, so he does not seem like he cannot land a woman. If you ask me, that has ‘virgin’ written all over it.
20. He makes a big deal about virginity
Do you have any friends who constantly make fun of other virgins? Well. chances are that they themselves are virgins. It is called deflection, only that it does not make sense when the person in question goes overboard. Sure, if a person keeps making fun of others for being virgins and even goes as far as to pick on them, then there is something they are trying to cloak themselves.
In my opinion, only a virgin would make such a big deal about being a virgin. There is nothing wrong with waiting for the right person.
21. He tells you he is a virgin
This is probably one of the more simple ways of finding out that he is still a virgin. If someone tells you they are yet to have sex, then chances are that they are not joking. Especially if the person in question is a man, then you can trust that he is a virgin.
You see, there is this annoying double standard where it’s OK for men to sleep around, while women are meant to stay chaste or be branded whores. So, if a man tells you he is a virgin, then he most likely is because this is not information they like to part with freely.
22. He is unsure about what to do in the sack
Let’s say that you and your new man are finally ready to get freaky beneath the sheets, the thing is, he is clueless. You know what I am talking about; he is clueless about which hole to put his member in, or hesitant to touch your breasts. Then he is probably unskilled with women as a whole.
One explanation here is that he has simply not had a lot of female companions. On the other hand, the explanation could simply be that he is a virgin and needs a little more experience to learn the ropes.
23. He brags about all the women he has been with
Sure, there are truckload men that brag about sleeping with women just because they have ego issues. But on the other hand, he could be trying to compensate for something a lot bigger than a fragile ego. The man in question could be covering up the fact that he is a virgin by making it sound like he has been with tons of women.
In a way, this is still ego-related, because most guys like to wear their sexual prowess like a badge. So, he could very well be trying hard to mask the fact that he has never been with a lady before.
24. He never talks about sex
This one is a stretch, but sometimes, a man will not even breach the topic of sex because he honestly knows nothing about it. I do not know about you, but when I do not know a lot about a topic, I try my best to steer clear of that topic till I know more.
No one wants to be that person who sits silently in the middle of a great conversation. So, if he never contributes when you all talk about sex, he probably has no idea what to say.
25. The tip of his penis turns red
This goes hand in hand with the torn foreskin issue, for some male virgins, the tip of the penis turns red. Even more, it may become a lot more painful as he plunges deeper (yes, I used the word plunges). Note that this is not the most reliable route to take, the tip of his penis could be red for other reasons, it does not only point to the fact that he is a virgin.
26. He is unsure about the moves
I remember that one scene from the TV series, Outlander, where it is Jamie and Claire’s wedding night. This is not a major spoiler; he turns her around to penetrate her because ‘that’s how the horses did it.’ That right there is a clear indicator that he was a virgin on their wedding night. So, what am I saying?
If your guy is unsure about the dynamics of sex in this manner, then he is most likely a virgin. There is no other way to paint this picture.
27. He is extra sensitive
It is all fun and games when a person has only ever touched themselves, the moment someone else touches them it is a different ballgame. If you are the first woman to stroke him or kiss him in intimate places, it will show. He may orgasm too fast or seem overstimulated at the slightest touch.
28. It does not matter
Let’s be honest, it doesn't really matter, If he is nice and respectful about his intentions, then it should not matter if he has slept with a harem of women or if you are his first. Unless you are uncomfortable with popping his cherry, then this is a non-issue.
Let me start by saying that no one knows definitively but the man you suspect is a virgin. Nevertheless, if he doesn't know where to put his penis, then that is one clear indicator that he has never had sex before. Also, if he's a bit too over eager, that may be a sign that it is his first time and he can't wait to get it done.
Not many men are thrilled at the notion of taking someone's virginity. It is a whole lot of responsibility especially in terms of the emotional aftermath. Women tend to get attached to the person who takes their virginity and that's a bad thing for someone who is not looking for a one-time encounter.
There is no age that's too old for a girl or boy to lose their virginity, so don't get pressured because you're a certain age. People will definitely get weirded out if they know you're a 30-year-old reason. But as long as you have your reasons, it is your life.
Men have emotions just the same way women have emotions, so of course, they get attached to the person they lose their virginity to. As long as the experience was not horrifying, there is a chance that they will get attached to the person. Altogether, virgins get quite clingy, so whether it's a boy or a girl, they may possibly get attached.
It is wise to let your partner know that you are a virgin; having sex for the first time is not a walk in the park for lots of people. Sure, they may probably decide to pass on having intercourse with you for the first time, but that's better than having to cry halfway through because it hurts a lot more than you thought it would.
Not many people are quite forthcoming about the fact that they are virgins, it's even more so when it comes to men. Having to be the tougher sex puts a lot of pressure on them and somehow being a virgin is a bit emasculating. So, if you want to know if a guy is a virgin, these signs will point you in the right direction.
Hopefully, you've picked up a pointer or two, and if you have any other indicators that a guy is a virgin do drop them in the comment box below. Also, share this article with someone who would find it interesting.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.