How To Tell Him You Want To Get Married (51 Ways To Hint Marriage)

As important conversations go in a dating relationship, the marriage subject is about as serious as it gets, especially when you are not sure where your partner stands on long-term commitment. Whether it’s your first time bringing it up, or it’s come up vaguely before, this is one talk most people want to do right.

We all have different expectations of relationships, even though nothing is set in stone. And as ‘unnatural’ as the concept of mating for life is for us humans, marriage is a goal for a significant percentage of us, man or woman. While some are satisfied with casual relationships sans commitment, most of us want nothing more than to form a lifelong bond with the right someone.

Yet, you and your significant other, being in the latter relationship category together, still doesn’t offer assurance on how they’ll feel about getting married. As you probably know, more people are embracing cohabiting over officially tying the knot, although a good number of us still see marriage as the ultimate definition of settling down.

Now, if you are thinking about telling your boyfriend you want to get married, you must know him to a reasonable degree. Your knowledge of his inclinations, especially towards the long term, along with the following tips, should help you navigate the tricky waters of letting him know you want to marry.

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51 Ways To Tell Your Boyfriend You Want To Get Married

The following ways basically describe you taking charge of your fate, doing and saying things that convey the information that you are ready for this milestone:

1. Be sure you are actually ready for the conversation

There is nothing wrong with watching a commercial and making a comment or two about starting a family. It’s also okay if you get sentimental because your friend who got married a while back just had her first baby.

However, any conversation about marriage beyond such spur-of-the-moment instances is better had prepared. You got to be ready for how your boyfriend might take it, whether or not his response is positive.

2. How ready are you for marriage?

Since we are on the subject, having a handle on your readiness for marriage doesn’t only help harden your resolve during the conversation but also with any doubts talking about it may bring up. It doesn’t mean you must have been picking out dresses and wedding venues already, but at least have a timeline.

Does your being ready mean you want to get married before the year is over or in a little longer? In the event that you and your boyfriend actually want the same thing, you don’t want to leave things strictly to his terms and lose your own needs when it happens. Also, what happens if he isn’t ready?

3. Gauge your boyfriend’s readiness

You may have been mulling this topic over, if not actively, for some time now. Calling yourself to order in your reverie and keeping baseless fears at bay to reach the conclusion that you want to get married.

In your man’s mind, though, the idea of marriage might still be like an abstract thing, a future he wants for sure but nothing as immediate as yours. So, based on everything (including previous discussions about marriage) you know of him and his position on the subject, gauge how ready he is so you know how to approach the talk.

4. Manage your expectations

Keep an open mind. It’s better to prepare for both possible outcomes than to pick your favorite and run with it. Don’t expect to meet your boyfriend at the same certain place you are coming from, this is one of the reasons why the baby steps approach is always advised in this situation.

Prepare to ease him into your thoughts and try and see things from his perspective, in case it differs from yours. Everything between you may seem so perfect you’d think nothing is stopping you from taking that step, but you can never fully tell what’s going on in another person’s mind.

5. Get practical

In the same vein, this is a conversation you want to have realistically and not out of romanticism. If suspicions of eternal chemistry or the undying love you have for one another are your basis for wanting to get married, things might get a little tricky along the way.

Wedding planning alone is enough to disillusion some brides on matrimony realities, and these are the lucky ones. While it’s natural to listen to your emotions, you should also make sure the bulk of your reasons comes from a more practical place based on your reality as a couple.

6. Think of the best way to bring it up

With the basics on lock, your boyfriend has to be brought in on your thoughts and plans at some point. Your chances of getting the answer you want can be directly related to the way you present it.

Remember that it’s not so much about finding the ideal way to break the news as to tailor what you learn to your specific situation. For instance, in an LDR, whether you choose to bring it up over video call or meet up depends on how you’ve been handling serious conversations in your relationship till this point.

7. Don’t come off too strong

One thing you should keep in mind during this period is that as big a goal as marriage might be for you right now, you don’t want to emanate a desperate air. If there’s one thing guys dread more than having the marriage talk before they are ready, it’s doing it with a woman who can’t wait.

So remember what we said about baby steps and make sure to lead with the right foot when you finally get the chance to bring it up.

8. Watch your timing

They say timing in life is everything. Meeting your boyfriend at an opportune moment may not guarantee an immediate wedding, but it also reduces the chances of the discussion ending in an argument.

Target the moment when your boyfriend is relaxed and comfortable, like after a satisfying intimate time together. And if that doesn’t seem right in your situation, you know your boyfriend better than anyone, so simply tap into this pool to deduce when he’d be most receptive.

9. Anticipate his response in practice

Another place knowing your (maybe!) future husband well enough might come in handy is in preparing your speech and counterarguments, so to speak. How is he likely to take it? What are some things he’s said in the past about girlfriends who bring up marriage?

Is he likely to feel insulted or impressed? How would you react in either case? Can you remain objective in the face of an undesirable outcome, and how much can it influence how you present it?

10. Initiate the conversation

initiate the conversation

Finally, to the part where you may not totally be excited about: voicing it out. If you are lucky, the cosmos aligns, and he says or does something to indicate he’s been thinking the same thing you have.

But since we’re all about setting our expectations, let’s work with him not taking the initiative until you are ready. Take it upon yourself to initiate the dreaded conversation while keeping in mind it’s one of many, hopefully, not the only one. Maybe that takes off the edge a little bit. Just focus on getting it out for now, then take what comes next one step at a time. 

11. Be natural

As I mentioned earlier, talking about being ready to marry whether or not your significant other is there yet, is as serious as it gets in dating relationships. And while preparedness can make the experience a lot smoother and less awkward, it’s also important to not approach it too formerly.

It’s not some work presentation, even if it is more important, so try not to treat it as one. We are still talking about your boyfriend here, so the best approach, in my opinion, is the familiar. Seriousness puts people on edge, especially when it comes to this kind of talk.

12. Acknowledge if the discussion feels weird

One of the best ways to help another person relax in an uncomfortable situation is to admit that it makes you uncomfortable yourself. That knowledge at least means that you are both on the same page about that much.

This is your life we are talking about, it’s no time to form cool, especially if you haven’t done this before. Let your boyfriend know it’s okay if this all feels too real or something, that you are equally scared but just need to get it out.

13. Highlight the reasons why you desire marriage

When you have your guy’s attention, it’s time to start rolling out the points. Remember, as long as you are in the driver's seat of this conversation, you need to project the air of someone who knows what they are doing.

Tell your man why marriage is important to you and why you think you are ready, he’s probably heard them all since you’ve been dating but remind him nonetheless. This way, he knows it’s not just a fluke or hormones talking.

14. Bring up suggestive signs you’ve seen from him

As you talk about your side of things, mention some of the signs you’ve noticed on his part that might have indicated his readiness for this next step. Active life steps, personality traits, intentional values, etc.

There’s always the possibility that he’s just improving his life for the sake of it, and not necessarily with marriage in mind, so try not to put him in a box. Simply express your observations about his progress and why you think marriage might be on his mind too.

15. Say he is the one

Make the conversation a real thing rather than some abstract future event by personalizing it for him. Mention those aforementioned traits and values in relation to what you want in the man you marry. This doesn’t mean you are proposing to your man, you are simply making the conversation more specific.

He’s probably deduced this much by now, but there’s no harm in hearing you say that he is the one you see yourself spending the rest of your life with.

16. Discuss your marital dreams and not just the wedding

We all have an idea of our kind of wedding, an elaborate once-in-a-blue moon celebration, a close-knit lowkey event with family and friends, or something in between. However, being ready for marriage also means thinking beyond the big day and allocating your marital life an equal, if not more, amount of daydream.

Share your vision about what kind of spouses and parents you’ll make, where you will live, what’s between now and then, etc. These leave a positive notion about marriage in your guy’s mind in place of the usual anxieties.

17. Adapt these dreams with your previous discussions about the future

One way to make this whole thing feel as natural as possible is, again, to tailor it to your specific reality. Hopefully, you are not going this far to tell a guy you want to marry him with zero knowledge of the kind of future he envisions for himself.

Assuming there’s a precedent for where he sees himself later in life, you can adapt your marital dreams with these. For instance, if he has plans to travel the world, you can mention what it’ll be like to do it together with more stakes in the game. He’s mentioned wanting to be a father? Use that as an entry to discuss starting a family.

18. Ask about his fears concerning marriage

His childhood, not being quite there yet financially, professionally, or mentally, or the usual fear of losing your freedom, we all have something that scares us about getting married. Bring these fears to life, and in return, discuss yours too. Few people, if any, are ever fully ready to get married, no matter how excited you are, you will still have some reservations.

Lay it all out there in the open, so it feels more like you’re chatting than a Q&A designed explicitly for him.

19. Discuss the likely challenges to getting married

Similarly, if you’ve always been a practical person, there’s no need to shelve that trait just because you discuss something sensitive. If anything, you need it more. Talk about the potential issues you’ve been able to pinpoint so your guy knows you’re not just thinking about marriage in terms of roses and unicorns.

Talk about your limitations as a couple and how they might become a lot more tangible if you sign the papers. Finances become merged, shared responsibilities more pronounced, how you will handle sexual ups and downs, etc. Show these things are on your mind too, even if you two will eventually table them for a later discussion.

20. Where does he stand on having children?

where does he stand on having children

Do you feel more ready than ever to go down the uncertain path of having kids? If that’s something he wants to one day, there’s an angle. Every parent wants to raise their kids in the closest thing to stability they can offer, if that’s something you are both open to, use it.

Your positions on having kids might change sometime in the future, but it provides a common ground for your marriage talk if they align right now.

21. Emphasize there are no right or wrong answers, only the truth

The last thing you want is for your boyfriend to get on the defensive while you talk about your future together. Ensure to make it clear this isn’t such a conversation where he measures his words to spare your feelings or feel good about himself.

If you are not trying to pressure him into anything, say as much. You may be ready, but you also want him to get to that stage by himself, so his honesty is really what serves you, not tact.

22. Offer to pick up the conversation at a later time

If necessary, give him some time to get to where you are, or at least meet you halfway. Being set against marriage isn’t the only alternative to wanting to hop on the train as soon as you bring it up. Sometimes, he just needs to consider all his options and weigh his next steps in his own time.

So, if he can’t give you a definitive answer right away, let him know that’s okay. Then, offer to revisit the topic when he has more to say, perhaps in a week, a month, or earlier. But remember to reiterate that there’s no pressure.

23. Steer clear of ultimatums

There is a difference between giving him a time frame to take in what you’ve said before revisiting the conversation and straight out threatening your boyfriend. Be sure to mind your tone and phrasing, so it doesn’t look like it’s marriage or anything right away.

In addition to most guys being completely opposed to the ultimatums, this is one decision you can’t afford to have him make out of fear or pressure.

24. Keep in mind you don’t want to change his mind

If a man says he doesn’t want to get married, believe him. You may get the urge to try and sway him, possibly even succeed. Unfortunately, marriage is challenging enough sometimes for spouses who choose each other, I wouldn’t bet on those where one party has to be “convinced.” 

Instead, keep in mind – before and after the conversation – your wants and needs as well as your boyfriend’s. For instance, if you both want to marry but he isn’t ready yet. Don’t expect or try to make him fast-track his life based on your timeline, that wouldn’t be fair to either of you, and I’m sure it’s not the kind of marriage you want.

Simply state your facts, listen to his side, and compromise on what you can. And if neither of you can bend of their own volition, then it is what it is.

25. Stay in control of your emotions

On this note, I feel it’s necessary to warn you about the emotional rollercoaster this talk might bring about. You are a bit freer to express whatever feelings surface if it turns out you’re working on the same frequency.

However, if things end up going the other way, try your best to manage your anger, disappointment, tears, and the like. Most guys can’t stand seeing their girlfriends unhappy, so if he sees you cry, for instance, it might come across as manipulative.

Now, here are some subtle ways to let your boyfriend know you are open to marriage. Sometimes, you are as certain as you are ever going to be on the issue of marriage. Other times all you want your partner to know is that you are open to the idea, but not necessarily that you are ready to walk the aisle right away.

26. Use humor

Wondering how to break the ice without coming on too strong? Humor is always a good way to go, especially if you two have a somewhat goofy relationship. It works for everything from conflict settlement to navigating sensitive conversations like this very one.

The gravity of the situation is exactly why you want to make your introductory discussions anything but serious. You’d be surprised at how often the topic comes up when you are playing. The next time it does, laugh at the jokes but also take advantage of them as they take off most of the pressure and help you both speak freely.

27. Talk about the type of wife you want to be

Another indirect way is to clue your boyfriend in on your marital goal is to casually talk about what kind of spouse you think you will make. Make jokes about him putting a ring on it if he wants the whole package, post funny stuff with the caption, “me as a wife.” 

During serious moments, mention your thoughts and fears concerning marriage and the things you’d like to have in place by the time you finally get married. You catch my drift.

28. Joke about making fine babies together

More on humor, the fine baby bit is a classic. Not every time generic compliments, sometimes dig a little deeper when praising your boyfriend and kill two birds with a stone. Does he look exceptionally charming when he smiles in a certain way? Tell him you can’t wait to see what that looks like on your kids.

The same goes for character and personality traits. Not always, though, a few sincere moments now and again is enough to plant the seed you want.

29. Talk about what kind of dad you think he’ll be

While we are on the kid subject, another no-pressure way to tell your boyfriend you want to get married and start a family with him is complimenting his daddy’s potential. A traditional man might appreciate knowing his woman thinks he has what it takes to ‘head’ a family.

But then, this would most likely work on non-traditional men who are partial to becoming parents one day, too.

30. Get your affairs in order

get your affairs in order

Though it has fantastic sides that even a child can relate to, marriage is the epitome of adulting because it takes more than love to make it work. This is your best chance to show your guy you are ready to start stepping up to responsibilities rather than shy away from them.

In other words, start checking boxes off your ‘grown’ list pronto. Set targets for yourself, and share each goal you achieve with your boyfriend, especially if he’s one of those guys who place a premium on what their partner brings to the table.

31. Work on making the relationship the best it can be

While you work on yourself as a future Mrs. to the man you love, try to invest some of that energy into your relationship's success. Be more open to ideas that will benefit your union, cut out petty spending and conflict, and generally act more responsibly, so he associates you with that light.

32. Encourage him to be more financially prudent

Finances, being one of the staple factors people consider before deciding to get married, can make an excellent way to tell your boyfriend you are at that stage. In addition to becoming more prudent on your own, guide the man you’re dating towards better and healthier financial habits too. 

Hopefully, this upgraded sense of responsibility gives him a practical clue as to what kind of asset you’ll make by his side in the long term.

33. Invite him to your family events

The balance between having the marriage talk early enough and putting enough time into the relationship before broaching it is an elusive thing. However, one way to ease guys into the eventual conversation is to let them know you already see them as an important part of your life. 

What better way to tell your boyfriend this than to have him come with you to exclusive family events, so he gets a feel of what you are like at home?

34. Ask to meet his own family

Speaking of balance, it would also help if you can ingratiate yourself with his side of the family, these are the people who would become your in-laws if all goes well, after all. If you are not yet at that stage as a couple where you meet your partner’s guys and family, then maybe it’s a little early to talk marriage. Perhaps consider dating a little longer for now.

35. Plan more long-term things together

The legal papers binding you together in marriage is basically just the world and the law bearing witness to the relationship you already have. The record may show that you become one the day you get married, but you would have been a couple a lot longer. Don’t wait till after the wedding to start putting the plans necessary for the success of long-term relationships in place.

36. Attend weddings together

Arguably one of the oldest tricks in the book on giving men a clue on the subject is asking them to come along with you to weddings. Whether it’s one of your girlfriends getting married, a sibling, or even a co-worker, invite him as your plus one and convince him you’d have a better time if he’s there. 

It’s a known fact that once you’ve reached the stage of dating where you attend weddings together, you’ve come one step closer to going all the way, right?

37. Drop hints at weddings

Be the life of the party, comment on the bride’s dress and what the style has in common with what you have in mind for your own wedding. If you are not shy or quite close to the couple getting married, you can even pick up the bouquet. 

Just try to keep your actions as true to yourself as possible, you don’t want him getting the idea that weddings turn you into a completely different person.

38. Ask what he would do differently after a wedding

Did a bunch of ex-girlfriends just come out of nowhere to ruin a mutual friend’s wedding? Though that may not be cause for celebration at the moment, it’s certainly something you can talk about on the drive back home. While you laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, have a little chat about what he would do in a similar situation.

You can also mention something cool from the wedding you know will undoubtedly appeal to your guy and how you’d like to do something similar at yours.

39. Randomly ask his opinions on marriage in general

Like I said, unless one or both of you is actively avoiding the marriage topic, it'll naturally come up in plenty of conversations when you’re dating. Rather than shy away when they do, say something random about it, especially when you are both in a casual mood. 

It could be an observation from another married couple, an open-ended question, or a passing thought. Just something to give you a clue on how much thought he’s given marriage as a concept or if he’s still stuck on the dating mindset.

40. Talk about your or his parents’ happy marriage

talk about your or his parents happy marriage

Discussing marriages of those you consider couple goals is another indirect way to tell your boyfriend about your intention. Parents are usually the staple example of such relationships. But if neither of you has such close relatives to point at, use your favorite married celebrity couples.

You can as well share engagement news of couples you both know, especially if it comes after a long-term dating relationship.

41. Send him home décor pictures

You must have talked about your ideas of what a home should look like since you started dating. What you will prioritize in the design, where your pets and plants will stay, and what elements you can’t do without dating, if only hypothetically.

DM’ing your boyfriend interior design posts or something similar is a harmless way to boost his longing for settling down himself. Plus, it shouldn't be suspicious if you already do a lot of post-sharing. 

42. Take a step further towards intimacy

Men usually take longer to bring up marriage because they naturally have more criteria to judge a potential lifemate than casual dating. If this guy's love for you is undeniable and he's shown time and again that he's trustworthy, you can lead him to what's left by taking further steps towards intimacy. 

This can mean letting your safety-net guys go, sleeping over more, having unprotected sex, or simply being more of an open book, depending on your situation.

43. Discuss fantasy vacation/honeymoon destinations

We all have our idea of what I like to call the soft life, i.e., the kind of lifestyle you’d ideally love to explore given a chance. Fantastical as they may seem right now, talk about places you hope to visit with the love of your life one day, even if you’ve only been dating for a while. If you want to be more specific, say husband. 

Bring them up in honeymoon contexts, too and ask what your guy thinks of those places, so he actively has to participate. 

44. Share posts on marriage with him on social meeds

Believe it or not, social media is a lot more useful than sharing gossips and memes. It particularly comes in handy when you have an agenda like this one. Like the decor move above, you can also share think pieces, relationship dramas, wedding pictures, and other dating/marriage-related content between your DIY and meme exchanges.

45. Arrange double dates with your married friends

Spending time with some of those couples whose engagement and love/marital lives you so openly admire can also get your guy thinking about making things official himself. It’s easier if you both have an existing relationship with these people, so the double dates wouldn’t feel like you’re setting your boyfriend up.

46. Use “we” instead of “I” when talking about your relationship/future

Research shows that using terms like ‘we’ and ‘us’ in romantic relationships indicates a more jointed partnership. It fosters a bond between partners that comes from being part of a team, a family. 

It makes everything from problem-solving to everyday rapport easier and contributes to overall relationship satisfaction. All of which are signs men appreciate in the woman they love and want to marry.

47. Tell him you feel at home with him

You’ve both been exclusive for some time, but you haven’t been surer of anything in your life than you are of him, express that. Let him know you are not still looking for something better in anyone else because you have found the one with whom you can put roots down. Or something that sounds like that.

These are usually words of affirmation among couples, so there’s no need to worry about giving too much away. The more at home he knows you feel with him, the more assured he is of your commitment to him.

48. List him as your emergency contact

You already spend most of your time together, you trust him and are somewhat convinced he might be the one. Taking a leap of faith, like literally putting your life in his hands in case of an emergency, suggests he represents more than just a temporary dating partner to you.

But only do this if you are that sure of this guy’s commitment to you and have at least suspected that he’s in it with you for the long haul.

49. Open up more

Speaking of being more real, getting in it deep enough with someone to willingly go to places once shut against virtually every other person you’ve been with would be quite telling. If you’ve been with your boyfriend for some time, chances are he’s been blocked out of certain secrets, fears, emotions, or memories. Those might be a good place to start.

50. Ask him “hypothetical” questions about marriage and real life

ask him hypothetical questions about marriage and real life

Unlike the “random” marriage conversations inspired by something you both saw together, like a movie or something happening in your married girlfriends’ lives, this one can be purely theoretical. 

Something like, “if you were certain the world would end in a few years, would you still want to get married?” Putting it in hypothetical terms makes it less likely for him to feel the need to lie.

51. Fake-propose to him

I know a proposal doesn’t exactly ring ‘subtle’ in this context, but that’s only if you mean it. Since all you want is to tell your boyfriend that marriage isn’t off the cards with you, you can target a playful or drunken moment when you know he’d never take you seriously.

The good news is, you can take it back once you sober up if he says yes. And if he happens to say no and means it, at least you’d have your inebriated state to hide behind. Either way, it opens the door to further discussions afterward.

FAQs

How do you make a man want to marry you?

Guys love a green light whether they are trying to flirt or want to get married. In addition to meeting the standards, he’s looking for in a wife, acting like you are ready to get married can encourage a man to ask you to marry him.

How long does it take a man to know he wants to marry you?

Marriage is the culmination of all the decisions most people make in their love/dating life. It’s not something you can generalize. While some guys claim to know from the onset that their girlfriend will be the woman they marry, most of them take a while to decide.

What does a man want in a woman he wants to marry?

Some of the things guys consider in the woman they want to marry are beauty, friendship, sense of humor, industriousness, physical and emotional compatibility, financial responsibility, shared values, and more.

How do you know if a man is serious about you?

A man who is serious about you will express as much, both with his words and in his disposition. He would want an active relationship with you and be committed enough to put in the necessary work.

How do you make him miss you like crazy?

The best approach to making guys miss you like oxygen is to make yourself less available. Cut communication drastically with the said guy and leave him guessing what you are up to most of the time. If you had any real value to him, it’s only a matter of time before he realizes the impact of your absence.

In Summary

The need to find the best way to tell your boyfriend you want to get married one day is understandable, especially when you’re pretty invested in the relationship and still can’t place his timeline. Neither of the points above guarantees your desired result, but they offer a good enough chance to get the right conversation started.

Kindly share your opinions and experience on the subject in the comments and share the article if you enjoyed it.

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