How To Talk To Shy Guys (23 Delicious Ways To Get Started)

If you want to start talking to shy guys, you will have to be a bit of an outgoing person every now and then. A shy person is likely to answer your question with a one-word answer, which can make it hard to avoid awkward silence

What do you say when you have just opened yourself up? It can be hard to continue paying attention when you feel like he’s not listening.

In the dating world, we don’t always get to choose the member of the opposite sex that we are attracted to. You might find a shy guy open to new ideas, but it’s hard to tell if he won’t talk to you. However, do you really want to be with someone who won’t stop talking? 

Shy people don’t generally enjoy being shy. If you have a really shy guy on your hands, you may have work to do.

Consider taking a few minutes to collect yourself before making an affectionate gesture. You don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable if it’s not necessarily in his best interest. Take a deep breath and open up to him like you would a friend. It’s not a bad idea to ask shy guys if they are interested in having a conversation with you to get them to talk more! Let’s learn more!

How To Talk To A Shy Guy (23 Ways To Get Him Talking)

1. Be confident for you both

According to Mark Manson, confidence flows right along with happiness and success, so if you want to see those things in your future, you should work on being extra confident, especially if you are chasing a shy guy! He is likely not going to be very outgoing, so you need to emit a lot of confidence for the both of you. 

On the other hand, if you are insecure and don’t act interested in the shy guy, he is likely to steer clear of you, thinking that he makes you unhappy when the two of you are around one another. It might be smart to push your shoulders back and let your best self shine forward. You don’t need to be shy if he is already that way! 

2. Compliment him

Compliments can go a long way toward making someone confident. If you let him know that you admire something that he’s done or accomplished, he will surely want to talk about it. Ask him questions about something he is interested in. Consider learning more about his passions, interests, and hobbies to find out what to talk about!

3. Use your body language

You can flirt with your body language by smiling, laughing, and acting happy when you are around the shy guy you are interested in. Show him that you can have a good time! Guys like to know that girls are easy-going and gentle to the touch. That means that you should be yourself, but also, you should try to show your true colors! Be outgoing!

4. Talk about yourself

This is the all-time best way to get a shy guy to talk to you. Discuss your favorite movie, why it’s your favorite, what your favorite scene is, who your favorite actor in the movie is, and so on. He will see the passion in your eyes as you vividly describe your favorite things, and he will surely fall head over heels for you. 

If you want the shy guy to do most of the talking, you should definitely ask him questions when you talk about yourself. Guys don’t like to intrude on women’s conversations when they get to talking about something they are passionate about. You might want to say something like, “So, that is my favorite! What is your favorite TV show or movie?”

Get him to start discussing the things that make him light up and he’ll be easy to talk to. A shy guy is not likely to want to talk about everything under the sun because, in their minds, they are drawing a blank. If you want him to be more forthright, just ask him questions that relate to what you’ve been discussing in the conversation.

5. Flirt

Make it clear that you are open to being asked out on a date because he may seriously be wondering! If you’ve been talking for a while, he may be wondering if you are just friendly or really do like him. Many shy guys are insecure and think girls don’t like them.

You can twirl your hair, act a little nervous, smile, or just be very friendly around the shy ones, and they will likely get the hint. They’ll know that you are not shy about flirting, and they’ll want to get to know you better. That’s a surefire way to get a shy one to open up!

6. Be strong and positive

Remember that shy guys are usually shy because they are scared of rejection from girls. If you think that may be the case with your crush, you can just be very positive and strong around him. Show him that you are not wavering with your feelings. This way, he’ll know you are available and interested in being more than just friends.

7. Relax


Sometimes, it’s necessary for you to be easy-going even when the moment feels like you should not continue to do so. You just need to chill out so that he will feel more relaxed around you. 

8. Build up his self-esteem

As mentioned, compliments are a great way to build up a guy’s self-worth. Let him know the things that you admire about him or the things you find most attractive. This will put him at ease and help him loosen up his nerves. He’ll be more likely to want to approach you if he thinks you are friendly.

9. Go with a group of friends

The more people that are around, the easier it will be to find out what you have in common with the guy. Get him to start lightly talking to one of your friends or something. You may find a connection there that you can relate to. It will be easy to keep a conversation going after that.

10. Make him laugh

Some guys just need a little joy in their lives. You can easily make him smile or laugh when you tell a funny story. Discuss something that really made you laugh. Don’t mention something that sort of made you giggle; discuss those things that really made you nearly wet yourself because you were laughing so hard!

11. Get to know his friends

The more you learn about the shy guy, the easier it will be to strike up a conversation. Consider learning more about him through his friends or family members if you know them. Think about questions to ask them in advance, and you’ll have no trouble getting to know about him before you even meet!

12. Lighten the mood

Sometimes, shy men are just nervous because they feel unsafe about letting their feelings out, about being exposed, or about feeling unguarded. You can easily overcome this by lightening the mood. Go see a funny movie together, take him to a school dance, or just walk around the mall. The pressure doesn’t have to be so high!

13. Flatter him

You can certainly compliment him on his clothing, accessories, or electronics. Strike up a conversation by asking what his favorite things are. Tell him you find him fascinating, and he’ll want to tell you more!

14. Ask him plenty of questions

ask him plenty of questions

Sometimes, you have to take the initiative and ask him all of the questions. It may be tough at first because you have to do all of the work, but over time, it will get easier. You will lay the foundation for your relationship, and it’ll be easier to discuss future topics!

15. Learn about something that interests him

If you find out he loves hunting, but you have no interest in the subject, learn something new about it. Maybe he loves college football, but you don’t understand the game. Ask him to explain the rules to you so that the two of you can connect on this subject. 

16. Make him feel in control

Since a shy guy is likely feeling as though he is nervous or cannot be a smooth operator around you because he is scared of you, you will need to make a move. Let him feel as though he is in control of the situation! You can easily do this by asking questions, flirting, and letting him know that you aren’t interested in other guys.

17. Ask him what he wants to know about you

This is a great way to get a shy guy to talk! Just ask him what he is curious to learn about you. Tell him you will gladly answer his questions, but you need to know what they are. If he draws a blank, you can add a few questions here and there to get his creative juices flowing. 

18. Say something to someone nearby

You can gossip loudly and grab the guy’s attention that way. Just make sure it’s something he will want to chime in about. For example, if you know he is nuts about coffee, tell someone about your favorite blend of coffee and why it’s your favorite. Say something controversial about the subject to really pique his interest!

19. Find something in common with him

So, now it’s time for you to make a move. You’ll need to show him that you are a match by showing that the two of you share something. You might both love model trains or a certain TV show. Whatever it is, make sure you make it a point to tell him that it is unusual for two people like you two to share this thing! This will make you irresistible

20. Be a little mysterious

It’s always a good idea to show a little mystery with guys. You don’t want them to get everything for free, or they will never “Buy” you. You might want to hold a few things back; don’t tell him everything about you on the first date, for example. Make him work for it a little. Men like a challenge; they want to chase the women they like.

At the same time, with a shy one, you have to be careful about being too mysterious. If he thinks you are a tough egg to crack, he is likely not going to pursue a conversation with you. He might think you are not interested in him if you are acting too aloof. You should be friendly and flirty with a shy one!

21. Talk to another guy in front of him

talk to another guy in front of him

This is not the top recommended way to grab his attention, but it works nevertheless! Just make him a little jealous when the two of you are around one another. You can talk to another guy or flirt a bit with someone else. Just be careful that you don’t scare him off by taking this advice too far. You don’t want to appear too standoffish

22. Need his help

Men love a damsel in distress. You can easily be this way if you want to be. Drop something in front of him or just politely mention a problem you are having to see if he can help. If he likes you, he will gladly rush to your rescue. This way, you also know if he is interested in you. You might not have known how he felt otherwise!

Some men want to talk to women really badly, but they don’t know how to get started. They know all of the things they should ask or say, but they just lose their train of thought when it comes to the actual conversation. You can help with this. All you need to do is to ask for his help in some way. Think about what you need or could need.

Pretend you need change for a vending machine or ask him if he could loan you his cell phone to make a quick call. Remember that you are a Princess that needs to be saved by this guy, and he will love being your Knight in Shining Armor. You can easily win his affections this way, too. Plus, you’ll always know how to keep him occupied. 

You can just always have an emergency at hand that needs him. Have a crisis or problem that needs to be solved, and he’ll think he’s won your affections forever! It really does work!

23. Ask a friend to talk to him for you

This is how I landed my man, so I had to save the best for last. I had a friend approach my man at the state fair, let him know I wanted to talk to him and gave him my phone number. Sure, this was a long time ago, but it worked. He felt more at ease since it wasn’t me talking to him, and he was very shy! Sometimes, you need a third party!


How do you start a conversation with a shy guy?

Ask him if he plays sports or see if he wants to hit a coffee shop with you. Usually, if you initiate things with a shy guy, it’s no big deal. His shy side will dissipate the more time you spend together; really, the best thing you can do is to ask him personal questions!

How do you keep a shy guy interested?

Compliment him! Be upfront and honest about how you feel. It’s good advice to let him make the first physical contact, though. Let him make the move for that first kiss; you will want that to be a high point, a time to remember in your relationship!

How do shy guys flirt?

Starting conversations with shy guys can be a challenge if they do not feel comfortable opening up to you in conversation. They might show affection through their body language or by talking to other girls in an effort to make you jealous! Don’t fall for it, though!

How do you talk to a guy without being shy?

Find common ground – something the two of you both like. Once you ask a lot of open-ended questions on the subject, you will find it easy to strike up a conversation any and all the time! You can always wait for him to make the first move, but it may take time!

How do you know if a boy likes you?

If a guy is interested in you, he will likely make the first move. He’ll want to break the ice by making sure a convo is about to happen with you. He may ask you about all the things in your life – there are lots of questions to cover!

To Sum Up

If you aren’t comfortable talking to shy guys, but there is a shy guy you like, you may need to be brave and make a move on him. There’s likely to be an awkward silence with a sensitive guy, but you can work with that! Give him a sincere compliment to get his attention!

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