Learn how to stop nagging in this informative article that will help you stop sounding like a broken record with your partner!
Nagging is one way to have a conversation, but is it really? I mean, one person is nagging or talking to the other person about what needs to be done or changed in the relationship. Does the other person really process what you said?
Part of having a good conversation is talking and listening. Active listening occurs when one person openly hears what is being said by the other person and responds accordingly.
When I say the term “hears,” I do not mean registering the words. I mean that you should listen with your ears; instead, you do this with your heart and mind. Pay close attention to what is being said!
If one partner is feeling nagged by their partner, they may not be listening very well to what is being said in the relationship. Break the cycle of this by truly communicating well. You will no longer feel nagged in your relationship.
Do you fear that you may be nagging too much or fear that you may have an angry partner because of nagging? Let’s explore this topic more!
- 1 How To Stop Nagging (17 Tips To Quit This Behavior)
- 1.1 1. Talk about it when you are both in a good mood
- 1.2 2. Remember what you love about your partner
- 1.3 3. Determine if it is worth it to nag
- 1.4 4. Focus on the positive
- 1.5 5. Suggest things without saying a word
- 1.6 6. Take care of the issue yourself
- 1.7 7. Don’t hold grudges
- 1.8 8. Do something about it
- 1.9 9. Offer feedback, not complaints
- 1.10 10. Limit yourself to one-word statements
- 1.11 11. Be patient
- 1.12 12. Ask for help with your nagging
- 1.13 13. Discuss it over with your support group instead
- 1.14 14. Bring up the issue only once
- 1.15 15. Find out what works best for your partner
- 1.16 16. Consider couples therapy
- 1.17 17. Be clear and specific with what you need to be done and when
- 2 FAQs
- 3 The Bottomline
How To Stop Nagging (17 Tips To Quit This Behavior)
1. Talk about it when you are both in a good mood
If you have a complaint that is bothering you and making you feel uneasy, you probably do need to discuss it with your partner. Your relationship could be in trouble if you just forget to bring up the big stuff. Rather than nagging your partner about these things, decide to discuss them at a time when you know he or she can truly listen to you.
You might just say, “We need to talk.” Do this at a time when the two of you are in a good place. Maybe he’s had a good day at work, and you need to discuss a problem you are having with him.
Rather than nagging every day and feeling like he doesn’t listen to what you say, just have a good discussion about the issue when you are both in happy moods.
2. Remember what you love about your partner
Remember why you fell in love with your partner. Remember his or her great qualities. Why did you choose him or her to be your partner in life? Do you have a special spiritual connection that keeps you both grounded or something like that? Do you both love to play basketball and rock every time you get a chance to play together?
If you think about the benefits of your relationship, you are going to be more likely to not nag your partner about little things that bug you. Maybe he does load the dishwasher the wrong way. Maybe you’ve told him this one hundred times already! Has nagging about the issue brought a change in behavior? It doesn’t sound like it!
Do you think maybe his or her pros outweigh his cons? Maybe you should just think about his or her great things and focus on the positive instead of thinking about all the things you would like him or her to change. You’ll probably be happier in the long run if you do this. Remember, you fell in love with him or her for a reason!
3. Determine if it is worth it to nag
Nagging can take a lot out of you! Is it worth it? Nagging is a hassle! It’s something that you have to remember to do, and it weighs heavy on your heart because it does not always result in the outcome you had hoped for. You may actually aggravate the issue and make things even worse by nagging about it! Is that really what you want?
4. Focus on the positive
If you think about the good things in life, you are going to be prone to be happier. Think about the many good things you have. Really count your blessings! Instead of nagging about the way your partner brushes his or her teeth, remember that it’s great you have the funds to own a toothbrush and toothpaste! Many countries don’t even have that!
5. Suggest things without saying a word
Psychology Today suggests that you should indicate actions that are needed without saying a word. For example, if you need a refill on medication and your partner takes care of that, just put the empty pill bottle in their chair so that they will see it as soon as they sit down. This doesn’t require you to say anything, so you won’t be nagging!
6. Take care of the issue yourself
Too often, we could just as easily take care of something ourselves as we can suggest that our partner complete the task. I fall into this trap almost every single day! I ask my man to do things that I can just as easily do myself. I might say, “Could you please take out the garbage?” He will say that he will do it, but it never happens.
Take a wild guess at what happens next! I just nag until he gets sick of hearing my voice. He wonders why I have to repeat myself over and over again when I already said it once. Well, I do that because he has not taken out the garbage despite my nagging! I feel annoyed because he could easily just do it without me asking him to do it.
In reality, I could just do it myself, right? I mean, why couldn’t I just do it myself? There really is no logical answer. I guess I’m lazy and don’t want to do it, or I think that’s the “man’s job” or something like that. Really, instead of being irritated about the fact that he won’t take out the garbage, I should do it myself and not bring it up at all to him!
7. Don’t hold grudges
If something you have asked for hasn’t been done, it’s easy to hold a grudge about the subject. It’s important that you learn to let things go. Holding grudges isn’t healthy for your relationship. You will quickly learn this if you continue being with your partner for any length of time. It’s not worth staying mad over something small.
8. Do something about it
As mentioned, you can always take care of the issue yourself. You can also approach it in a different way. Consider offering solutions instead of complaints. What could solve the problem so that you will not need to bring up this issue in the future?
Maybe you are nagging your partner about the cat litter needing to be changed. If this is an ongoing issue in your relationship, you might want to think of a solution to the problem rather than continuing to bring it up. They now make self-cleaning litter boxes, for example. Maybe the wisest thing to do would be to purchase one of those!
Get creative when you think of solutions! What could end this problem once and for all so that you will not feel the need to nag about it again?
9. Offer feedback, not complaints
Complaining is very negative. What kind of feedback could you offer your partner instead? What would motivate you to take action if you were in his or her shoes? Be empathetic! Maybe the smartest solution is to say something like, “It really turned me on when you cleaned the kitchen yesterday after you made that casserole.”
That will show your partner that you really appreciated the action he or she took when they did something. Maybe they will want to do that action in the future since they know you find it very appealing. Wouldn’t you want to do things that made your partner happy? What would motivate you to do something you don’t really want to do?
10. Limit yourself to one-word statements
Another great suggestion from that Psychology Today article was to offer one-word answers or responses. You might say, “Milk,” if you want your partner to buy milk while they are at the grocery store. You are clear in what you want and have reminded them of what you want to be done. The main point has been made, so there is no need to complain.
11. Be patient
Often, we lack patience and understanding, and this causes us to act in ways we wish we hadn’t. If you have brought something up, give your partner a chance to accomplish the task or goal. Don’t just immediately bring it up again, especially if not much time has passed. You need to give them a chance to do the thing you are asking of them.
I know that this is easier said than done because we all struggle with patience. On the other hand, this is something you can work on and get better at. Think about what is holding you back from being the patient person you would love to be. What could you change about yourself, and how could you make changes to improve your patience?
Often, we are impatient because we are stressed about something else that is going on in our lives. Maybe your job is not going the way you had hoped and that is something that is triggering you to be angry. If you feel frustrated, you are likely to easily snap about little things, which may cause you to nag your partner quite a bit! Work on that stress!
12. Ask for help with your nagging
If you think you have a problem with nagging, you might want to discuss this with your partner. Let them know that you think you have a problem, and ask them to point out this behavior the next time they see that you are doing it. This might help you stop this. They can help hold you accountable. This should surely help you crack this habit!
13. Discuss it over with your support group instead
If you have complaints that are just complaints and nothing needs to be done about them, you might talk it over with your friends and family – your support group or support system. Explain to them what you are upset about and ask for solid advice on what to do. They might have insight that you had never thought about!
14. Bring up the issue only once
There is no need to bring up the issue multiple times. If they have not taken the action you had hoped for during the first go-’round, you might ask them what is holding them back. Try to find a solution to the problem rather than repeating yourself.
15. Find out what works best for your partner
Some people respond best to lists of things to do. Maybe your partner needs a sticky note attached to his or her mirror to remind him or her of what you want them to do. Figure out what works best for him or her and follow that action in the future. You may have to try quite a few things before you determine what works best for him or her.
16. Consider couples therapy
A qualified therapist can help. You might be able to discuss with a third party the things that you are having trouble communicating with your partner. This is especially helpful if you have ongoing issues that need to be addressed. If you are always complaining about the same thing, bring it up in therapy now!
17. Be clear and specific with what you need to be done and when
Make sure when you do nag that you are clear about what you need. Better than nagging is just saying what you want one time. Just explain the details of what you need to be done so that there are no misunderstandings or clarity issues. Be clear and specific so that your partner knows what to do to make you happy about this task.
Good relationships are not perfect. They should have open communication when it comes to how their partner feels. Nagging can turn into a vicious cycle if it is done repeatedly. Avoid nagging if you want a healthy relationship. Talk to a therapist if you are unsure why you nag!
Determine your own needs and develop good habits when it comes to communication. Forget about repeating what you say over and over again. Instead, directly communicate what you need to say once – without nagging about the issue over and over again. This way, you won’t feel bad.
There is usually no need to nag, but many people don’t recognize that they are even doing something wrong. They just have the urge to bring up the same issue over and over again. Relationships can survive worse, but it’s better if you do not nag your partner.
You might remind your husband to get money out of the bank every week if he continues to forget. Most naggers expect their partners to hear what they are saying and do as they expect. They get angry when they have to repeat themselves.
They often have high expectations for their marriage and spouse. In marriage, it’s easy to nag, as you feel like that is the only way to communicate in your relationship. Often, what is considered nagging in a marriage relationship is just communication!
Are you in the habit of participating in incessant nagging? Do you think it’s a big deal to nag someone? Why do people decide to talk in a relationship this way? Do you think they don’t get enough attention or something? Let’s hear from you! Comment, and share this post!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.