Meeting someone, getting used to having them in your life, and liking them is hard to get over. It’s a feeling that makes you wonder if you can truly make decisions or not. Sometimes, we find ourselves constantly communicating with or having thoughts about someone we like. But for some reason, we want it to stop because we don’t think it would work or last.
The mistake most make is to try to cut the person off completely which is not entirely bad if there are personal reasons. But, if you want to know how to stop liking someone, the first thing to note is that it’s not instant. At the same time, cutting him off could mean letting go of a potential business partner or good acquaintance.
Some sources say creating more space and time for yourself could help you think straight and guide you in the right direction. So you pay attention to your needs, be vocal about them, and keep moving. I know I’m making it sound so easy when in reality, it’s really not. You’d probably ask yourself what to do especially when it’s a situation you really can’t control.
Well, I’m glad to tell you there are some tips to help you achieve this. Keep reading to know possible ways to approach this situation.
- 1 15 Ways To Stop Liking Someone (15 Ways)
- 1.1 1. Be sure you like him
- 1.2 2. Maintain the purpose of the relationship
- 1.3 3. Spend less time together
- 1.4 4. Discuss selected topics
- 1.5 5. Have fun In groups
- 1.6 6. Treat him like everyone else
- 1.7 7. Learn to say no
- 1.8 8. Keep reminding him you’re friends
- 1.9 9. Reach out for important things only
- 1.10 10. Set friendly boundaries
- 1.11 11. Redirect your thoughts
- 1.12 12. Take it easy
- 1.13 13. Let it out to someone
- 1.14 14. Feed on his flaws
- 1.15 15. Take a break
- 2 FAQS
- 3 In Conclusion
15 Ways To Stop Liking Someone (15 Ways)
1. Be sure you like him
There are times we find ourselves liking someone for a particular reason. It could be because of a particular skill he has or a manner of approach towards things. Maybe you don’t really like him; you could just be appreciating him for what he does. I know this sometimes develops some sort of feelings but it’s not something you should be hard on yourself for. So just keep living.
But if you would like it to stop, you could simply tell him how much you love his skills, crack some jokes about it or tease him in a friendly way and move on. Altogether, if you are wondering how to stop liking someone, check if you like him in the first place.
2. Maintain the purpose of the relationship
I know a few that lose focus when it comes to men which is not bad at all. I just feel that the timing is wrong. It’s okay to take a few minutes to distract yourself from the main purpose but don’t fall head over heels for forbidden fruit. A lot of people do this and before they know it, you’re stuck wondering how to stop liking someone.
So you have this new job and your new boss is one of the cutest men you’ve seen. Yes, he’s handsome but take your mind off that as much as possible. Concentrate more on what you have to do and with your time you’ll notice your feelings for him will begin to fade. Try not to let your thoughts go deeper than it should. Remember, work.
3. Spend less time together
The more time you spend doing something, the stronger the connection; never forget that. It applies to all aspects of life. If you like a married man, he likes you too and you know it’s not leading anywhere, spend less time with him. Sure, this may not get him off your mind at first, but once you stop talking to him, it will get the process started.
Reduce the number of times you call him, but that’s if you still want to be cordial with him. Make your responses short and straight to the point and try not to let him know you’re trying to stop liking him. No one is saying it will be easy, but if you go out, meet new people. Hang out with someone else and try to shake the feelings off I’m sure you can find something to replace thoughts and feelings you have for the guy.
4. Discuss selected topics
This seems hard but it’s possible. Stay away from topics that emphasize your feelings for him. Topics like your past relationships, your crush, marriage, or how you act when you like someone. These topics could be implicating when you have feelings for a guy, and it’s time to accept that talking about everything will not help.
Not discussing these topics could feel technical at first but trust me, it’ll flow in with time; at least enough time to get over your crush. You could talk about broad topics like politics, sports, or careers. They have a way of having subdivisions to keep a conversation going for a long period of time.
5. Have fun In groups
Calling your friends and his friends for a hangout could help neutralize your feelings. So, instead of going on a date with him alone, you could invite him or ask him to invite other people to join in the fun. Altogether, that should keep the romantic feelings out of your mind. Even more, you also get to meet new friends to distract you and give you the support you need.
So you could have a group beach picnic, a house party, a family get-together, or a night out. If you both like each other and he observes that you never have some time out together, he could read that as rejection. That way, you still keep your friendship and you both know nothing more than a platonic relationship can happen.
6. Treat him like everyone else
I have to emphasize this because I love seeing smiles and tend to buy people gifts to make them happy. It’s good but the downside is that most of them misinterpret it and feel like getting feelings involved. When you start treating anyone in a special way, you send a particular message to them. You may not mind, but for all you know he's over there thinking he's your partner.
Except it’s his birthday and you love giving birthday presents, don’t single him out and gift him. You never know what it may seem like to him. It will be so obvious you like him and his response could rekindle your non-existent love life.
Respond to his messages the same way you would respond to someone else’s. If you’re with lots of acquaintances including him and you’re sarcastic with them, be the same person with him. It helps blend in everything.
7. Learn to say no
This part is relevant when he knows you like him, you’re trying to resist, but he doesn’t want to let go of the feelings. It could be for his selfish reasons or he could actually be in love. Some men need to find a new hobby other than manipulating women to stick to them even when they know they have to let go.
It’s a sad life, and it’s hard to overcome this. Because they know you like them, they know exactly what to say or all the ways to get your attention and they don’t stop until one of you succeeds.
So, if you keep saying no and they know you’re serious, they’ll back off and settle for a platonic relationship.
8. Keep reminding him you’re friends
Not every second of course, just chip it in one or two times as a subtle reminder. As you say it to him, you’re also reminding yourself that you are not dating and don’t want to go further than being friends in your relationship. Of course, you're not aiming at being his best friend, but you don't have to cut this person off to get to a good place in your relationship.
Reminding him you’re friends gently pushes him into the friend zone and sooner than you realize it, you develop one of those ‘‘friends that become family’ relationships. You introduce him to your family, friends, and the general public as your very good friend and not some guy you were once in love with. That automatically reduces what you feel for him. When you both accept that, you’re one step away from success! You’re almost there.
9. Reach out for important things only
Minimize your calls or messages when this other person is involved. Don’t just call to say ‘Hi’ because you'll be opening up more space for a stronger connection or a deeper relationship. Call when you need to ask important questions relating to something else or you need to confirm certain facts. But they should be very important and not love-related.
You could link him up to a contract, partner with him, or ask for his help on a professional level. Don’t forget to go straight to the point. Maybe you can tease once in a while so your conversations don’t sound stiff and make it obvious that you’re trying to run away. You can also call if he’s sick or he was involved in an accident. But if it’s not necessary, don’t reach out to this person too frequently.
10. Set friendly boundaries
I would say ‘set your boundaries’ but we’re not fighting. At least that’s not the main aim. So you have this male friend you like. He doesn’t feel the same way about it but he always wants to hang out with you. There are many ways to handle this. First, you limit the time spent with the person, it will save you worlds of pain.
Since it's just you then you’re fine because it will be easier to snap out of it. Secondly, you could let him know how you feel about him so you both can have an understanding of how to spend time together. Also, you can agree on what not to say or do to each other to avoid any weird feelings. It may be awkward at first but with time, you’ll both flow back to your beautiful friendship.
11. Redirect your thoughts
Stopping yourself from doing that thing that can bring persistent thoughts about it. Distract yourself with someone else, a life-long dream, or a fun activity. You’ll notice things will start your priorities will change.
Because you’re resisting it, you start having persistent thoughts about them. Everything will suddenly seem connected to this person. But you could read a book, bake cookies, see a movie, or do anything that distracts you the most. You could try yoga or other calming activities as well. It won’t happen like magic but it will happen eventually.
12. Take it easy
Slow and steady wins the race, they say. Take it easy on yourself. It’s not a crime to like someone. At the same time, you should give yourself a break. You don’t need to be rescued because he’s not a prince in disguise.
You may want to take a little break from social media to avoid more fantasies. Gradually stay away from memories or activities that remind you of him and focus more on yourself and the things that make you happy. Don’t rush it. Just take it step-by-step each day and don’t go back after you’ve moved. With time, everything will fall into place.
13. Let it out to someone
I always advise my acquaintances to vent whenever they feel they can’t handle certain things. It could be to a friend, family member, a random person on the subway, or a therapist. It would be better if the person does not know who your ‘partner' to be on the safe side, except you trust them.
But if you’re secretive, it’s best you vent to someone that does not know him. You’ll save yourself the rumors, stories, or unnecessary questions about your partner. Talk to them and listen to their response with an open heart if they have anything to say. If they don’t, at least they listened to you and you’ll feel better after letting it out.
14. Feed on his flaws
I do this a lot. I just stick out my neck and bulge my eyes to find red flags even when there are none. Normally, love makes us overlook things which means the opposite should make you super observant about your partner.
I’m not saying you should rub his flaws in his face, but use them to your advantage. Let's say you think you like your friend’s boyfriend, well, it's time to dissect this person so you can get him off the pedestal you placed him on. Surely, this person is not perfect. So, you can find flaws like ‘he doesn’t smile too often’. Sounds silly but sometimes you need the silliest stuff to stop liking someone.
15. Take a break
I do this, but I wouldn’t advise you to, which is why I’m listing it as the last option. It should be your last choice only if number one to fourteen failed. Distance from this person actually gives you peace of mind. The bad thing is, it won’t last long and you may completely lose your relationship.
You could tell him if he’s understanding and you both agree you need time off or change your environment for a while just to breathe. Nothing can cure you in a blink of an eye, but the change of environment will let you breathe and eventually stop liking this person.
Give yourself space to neutralize everything including your thoughts and actions. Focus more on yourself and make sure you talk to loved ones to distract yourself. Of course, it could be tough and painful at first but it’s a phase. It’ll pass and you’ll get over it.
Allow him to have the things he wants. Because if you tell a person not to be with someone he already likes, you’re ruining your chances. You’ll attract him more by supporting him and letting him be. But, it's still best to remain in the picture and say hi as often as you can.
I feel it depends on the individual having the crush and how long they hold onto things. According to research, a typical crush lasts for four months. If it’s longer than that, then it’s real love. For me, my crush can last for minutes, and then it is no longer a problem. So, how long a crush lasts depends on you.
Most times we can’t stop thinking about the stuff that attracts us. Could be food, a vacation spot, or beautiful clothes we can’t afford. The same thing goes for your crush. Something you’ve always desired attracted you to him and it matches your imagination so well. It’s hard to forget issues like that, especially when there is hope.
There’s a reason or reasons why you can’t have him. Weigh those reasons and think about them. Think about the compromises, sacrifices, and pain you would have to go through to be with him. It’s best to think them through every day and notice the feeling that follows. That should encourage you to stop thinking about this person and it will also do wonders for your self-worth.
You’ll always like one person or the other as you progress in life, and it may or may not work out. What matters is your approach to the situation. Regardless of how you choose to handle it or move through the process, it's best to think about your happiness first. Enjoyed this article? Please feel free to like and share to your loved ones.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.