How To Stop Being Clingy (23 Surefire Ways To Improve Yourself)

If you are wondering how to stop being clingy, lucky for you, this article will give you the scoop! It’s important that you don’t come across as too clingy and needy, as your partner will likely find this very unappealing. If you want to know how to stop being clingy, you are doing a good job. You have taken the first step in recognizing your clingy behavior.

Rather than always showing your partner you are clingy and needy, you should work on yourself. That is the best way to grow a healthy relationship. Use your body language to indicate that you don’t need to be clingy and needy to feel complete in your relationship. Show your man or woman that you are now less clingy and working on improving yourself!

In this article, we are going to spend time looking at ways that you can be less clingy in your relationship and let go of all your worries and concerns, which probably bring you a lot of anxiety! Instead, you’ll learn that being less clingy can actually build your self-esteem! Healthy relationships are the way to go, so let’s get started and dive right into the subject!

How To Stop Being Clingy (23 Fab Ways)

1. Don’t stalk your partner

The app Find Your Friends is a dangerous one to become too familiar with. You may want to know where your partner is and who they are with every second of the day, and with that app, you can easily locate them at any time. Don’t you have something better to do with your time, though? Consider deleting the app if you have it on your phone.

If you delete it, the temptation to use it will disappear with it. Instead, focus on healthy ways to support your relationship. Make a list of questions or things you want to talk about with your partner the next time you see him or her. This will help you focus on things that are in your control rather than just being controlling by stalking!

Remember, too, that those apps aren’t always 100% accurate. Just because it says that your partner is across the street doesn’t make it so. Instead, he or she may be in your driveway. It’s not an exact science, so don’t put all the trust you are building in your relationship on a silly little application on your cell phone (or rumors from friends)!

Instead, build trust with your partner and allow him or her the right to surprise you with flowers every now and then without you knowing their exact location at all times! Unless he or she turns off the app, which would make you suspicious, how else are they supposed to surprise you or do something special for your relationship??

2. You don’t need to know your partner’s every move

As mentioned in the previous point, you don’t need to know everything that your partner is doing. However, there is more to this point. Do you ask your partner who they are with and what they are doing when they are away from you? Do you really need to know every detail? It’s not going to help your relationship by being too nosey!

3. Turn off your cell phone

If you have trouble letting go, you may want to just turn off your cell phone. This will prevent you from calling or texting too much. It will also help keep you away from social media, which can give you a fountain of misinformation about your partner. Let your partner and the rest of the world wonder what you are doing with your time.

4. Only text on occasion

If you have a problem with being too clingy in your relationship, you may want to limit yourself to sending one text per hour or two! If you set healthy boundaries for yourself like this, you will better cure yourself of this clinginess. Instead, you will play a little hard to get in the relationship, making your partner want you all that much more.

5. Don’t prearrange every single date

Sometimes, dating needs to be spontaneous and adventurous. You need to go with the flow. You don’t have to always have a plan made out for every single date. Let some things come naturally. If you are a planner, you probably love keeping notebooks and journals full of dates and schedules. You probably also love lists!

However, when it comes to relationships, you sometimes have to let your feet up and allow the relationship to take a more natural state. Allow your partner the chance to ask you out for a change! Don’t schedule every date in your calendar. Just determine when you are both available, and go from there. This will leave things up to chance!

Of course, you don’t have to do this all of the time. Relationships need to have some certainty and structure, but if you try this every now and then, your partner will probably be impressed with your lack of control over the situation, especially if you were quite clingy before that moment. Give it a shot. What do you have to lose?

6. Call once or let your partner call you

call once or let your partner call you

If you haven’t heard from your partner in a while, you might call them, but only one time. Leave one voicemail and let it go. Unless you are worried about their safety, there is no need to continue to leave voicemails. When your partner gets the message, he or she will call you back (or hear your many messages if you have left a lot)!

7. Be busy with work or school

If you are not in school and do not work, fill your time with activities. If you have children, get involved in their school activities. If you don’t have another way to fill your time, consider doing volunteer work. Volunteer at an animal shelter, or give more of your time to a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Giving back can be majorly rewarding!

8. Be more independent

It’s a good idea to have plans with yourself. Be okay with alone time. Trust that your partner is doing what he or she said they would be doing, and continue to do things by yourself. It may take some getting used to, but over time, you will enjoy spending time alone. Understand that this is not an overnight fix; it takes practice.

9. Make time for yourself

Enjoy spending time alone, as mentioned in the last point. You can take a bubble bath, read a good book, or get engrossed in a romantic comedy. Better yet, find a great show on Netflix or Amazon Prime to binge-watch. You can certainly fill up your time this way and enjoy doing something by yourself – instead of with your partner.

He or she will admire your newfound independence, too, and may even fall harder for you in the long run! Wouldn’t that be a benefit to watching some silly show on Netflix? Show that you can do things that do not involve your partner, and they may get jealous of the alone time you now enjoy!

10. Spend more time with friends

Friends are a key component in life. If you don’t nurture your friendships, they die like little wilting flowers. If you don’t know what the latest is with your best friend, you should get busy making plans with him or her. Making time for friends will not only take you away from your partner, but it will also build other relationships in your life.

Don’t forget that if things don’t work out with your current mate, you will be wishing you had friends to lean on during this time of trial. If you haven’t made time for your friends in a very long time, why should they make time for you when you need them? Remember to treat others the way you would like to be treated!

11. Do something good with your time

When was the last time you visited an old relative in the nursing home? When did you last call your mother just to see how she was doing with everything in her life? What about doing volunteer work at your church or soup kitchen? When was the last time you did something good with your time? Earn the respect of your partner by doing this, too!

12. Work on self-improvement

work on self improvement

Invest in the right self-help books to learn a little more about being single or being in a serious relationship. Meet with a therapist; they can often give you tools and techniques that aren’t available in books or magazines. If you work with the same counselor over an extended period of time, you may begin to track progress and see real results.

It’s very easy when you are in a relationship to look at only the bad things or to think the worst. Instead, try to think about what you are able to bring to the relationship. How do you contribute? Are you a cheerleader, cheering on your partner with all his or her successes? Are you a beautiful person who brings beauty into a relationship?

Think about your strengths and focus on how you are able to contribute to the relationship. There are reasons why your partner has selected you as a mate. You have great things that you can offer someone else. Now that you know what they are, you should focus on bringing those things to light or amplifying other things about yourself!

13. Don’t just assume the worst

It is very easy to think that your partner is up to no good if you have not heard from him or her in several hours, but don’t assume the worst all the time. If you are a praying person, you should just say a little prayer for their safety and leave it up to God. Don’t frantically call him or her every five minutes until you hear from them!

14. Know your worth

As mentioned, you have value. Recognize what that value is and what you are able to bring to a relationship. Make sure you are treated with respect. If your boyfriend said he would pick you up for a date two hours ago, you have every right to be upset over his tardiness and disrespect for your time and the effort you made to look nice!

15. Develop new passions or interests

If you are feeling like you might be too clingy, you should consider developing new passions or hobbies. Learn why people love model airplanes or trains. Find out what the hype is when it comes to decluttering. You can find a lot of motivation to declutter if you organize and deep clean your home. Teach yourself how to knit for charity!

Stay busy, and being clingy will be far from your mind and actions.

16. Be confident

Not much needs to be said about this one. You just need to believe in yourself and know your worth. You deserve to be with someone who treats you right, so provided you are in that sort of relationship, you should just work on being more secure in who you are!

17. Work on your anxiety

If you feel uneasy when your partner is not around, you may have issues with anxiety. There are many coping mechanisms that can help with anxiety. Consider seeing a medical professional to get an accurate diagnosis and treatment. Also, you could adopt mindfulness, prayer, meditation, and new hobbies and passions!

18. Stop trying to control life

stop trying to control life

When we try to control things, we tend to want everything to go one particular way. We don’t stop to think about how other people feel about the situation. Instead of being selfish, put others’ thoughts and feelings first. You may find that by not being so controlling, you are no longer clingy to your partner! Instead, you trust him or her!

19. Meet new people

There is no law that says you cannot make new friends when you are in a relationship with someone. Consider what it’s like to have new friends. You get to know someone’s likes and dislikes. You talk to one another over coffee. It’s like dating, right? Give it a shot, and you’ll need less of your partner. Give your partner some much-needed space.

20. Give your partner some space

As mentioned, it’s a wise idea to give your partner space. Let them think about how you are doing. Make them wonder what you are up to. You’ll be playing hard to get without even meaning to. Just stay busy, and the time will fly by!

21. Work on any trust issues you may have

You may have trust issues from a previous relationship or just don’t trust easily. Whatever the cause is – you should work those things out before getting involved in a committed long-term relationship.

22. Don’t always initiate affection

Nothing says that you must always be the one to initiate affection just because you were the first one to do so. Let your partner take the lead every now and then. You’ll rebalance the relationship and make things a bit more even on the playing field.

23. Be more patient and understanding

There are many ways and benefits to being patient and understanding. Learning how can greatly impact your life – for the good. You might as well learn these skills. They won’t just help you in your relationship; they can also help you when you are waiting in line at the bank or hair salon. You’ll develop a beautiful calmness that will go quite well.


How do I stop being needy and clingy?

Spend time with friends and family, leaning on them for support as you process the elements of your relationship to determine if it is the right one for you. They can probably help you sort this mystery out, too! That’s what your support system is there for, right?

What causes clinginess?

Many times, we are clingy in relationships because we feel insecure or lack the self-esteem to make it on our own. While that isn’t true (we can make it on our own), we often believe it, which brings us doubt and anxiety! This is never a fun combination!

How do you tell if you're clingy?

For one thing, your partner will probably say as much to you. Also, if you feel insecure when your partner is not with you, you are probably a bit needy. If you feel the need to do everything with your partner and your world revolves around your relationship, you’re clingy.

Is it bad to be clingy?

It is not good to be too clingy because you are allowing someone else to control your happiness and security in your relationship. You are putting too much faith in one person. Instead, you should look within for the answers to any questions you have about yourself.

How do you break an emotional attachment?

Sometimes, the smartest way to break an emotional attachment is to take a break from the person you are attached to. Time apart can prove to be very healing. You may also learn new things about yourself and your relationship – things you wouldn’t have otherwise realized.

To Conclude

What do you think about clinginess? Have you been clingy in your past relationships? What did you do to stop being so clingy in your relationship? We’d love to hear all about it in the comments section! Please give us feedback, and share this blog post on social media.

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