A virgin is someone who has never had sex. It is completely okay to be a virgin. But, in a world where sexual imagery and innuendos are a norm, it can be very difficult to stay a virgin. In the end, you may be pressured into giving up your virginity. And this usually does not end well. This is because sex is a big decision.
It has serious emotional and physical consequences, so you should be ready when you want to do it. Having sex before you are ready can lead to a life of regrets. Perhaps, for religious reasons, you have made a vow of “no sex till marriage” to yourself.
But how do you faithfully stick to this decision to the end? How do you preserve your body till marriage? How do you remain a virgin without regretting it in this century? Here are a number of ways you can make that happen.
- 0.1 7 Ways On How To Stay A Virgin
- 0.2 FAQs
- 0.3 In Conclusion
7 Ways On How To Stay A Virgin
1. Accept who you are
One of the first ways how to stay a virgin is to accept who you are. When you have accepted and are confident in the fact, it is difficult to lose it. However, if you are not very sure about accepting this status. It will be very easy for you to give in to your sexual desires.
Virgins are humans too. This means that they also have hormones at work in their system, including those responsible for sex. So, the more confident you are about your virginity, the less probability that you will lose it. Your acceptance will go a long way to even help you know what to look out for in a boyfriend.
This is because not every guy is into dating virgins. They have a very active sex life. Dating such guys will put you in an uncomfortable situation. You may be pressured to give up your virginity, despite the reasons you may have given to yourself to keep it.
And because you have accepted that you would want to wait until marriage to have sex, you will not compromise on this choice of yours.
2. Set boundaries for yourself
Another way to keep staying a virgin is for you to set boundaries for yourself. Even though you have not had sex before, it is okay to enter the dating pool. Your virginity status should not inhibit that.
However, in a relationship, it is very easy to get carried away by the kisses, the hugs, the touches, etc. If you do not check yourself, you would be carried away into having sex without intending to.
It is, therefore, prudent that you set boundaries for yourself. This is an absolute need. For instance, one way of setting boundaries is to give yourself a personal curfew. You could decide that staying out after 9 pm is not safe for you Or, it is not advisable to be alone with your boyfriend after dark. This is a safety measure to get you to keep your virginity.
Do not think because you have not had sex before, you are invincible. That is a wrong mindset that needs to be done away with.
3. Do not watch pornography
If you want to keep your virginity, then I bet it is only right that you avoid things that awaken your sexual desires. You could say that by abstaining from sexual activities, you have inadvertently put your needs to sleep. The fact that it is asleep does not mean it is not there. Doing certain things like watching pornography can awaken that need for you to indulge in sex.
And the thing about sexual feelings is that it feels so good. The feelings are so intense that you may forget why you wanted to be a virgin in the first place, even if it is grounded in religious reasons. Therefore, in order to continue your virginity status, make sure that you avoid certain “sexual feelings awakeners”.
Again, it is also best that you check those you move with. If your friends love watching porn, you are bound to watch it too. No doubt, the saying, “You are who you surround yourself with” is true.
Self-control is one vital quality that you need in your decision of staying a virgin. No doubt, you want to know what the ‘first time’ feels like. It is so easy to get tempted. It is the 21st century after all. Everyone is exploring their sexuality. It's wrong to prevent anyone from having his or her sexual freedom or expressing their inner prowess where sex is concerned.
But you have made a decision, and it is best that you stick to it. It's easy to want to hear your friend's encounter with sex. You want to know what sex (perhaps, during marriage) would be like. Your curiosity is natural and founded on a good basis. However, you need to first remember your choice, and stick to it. That requires self-control.
5. Keep that information to yourself
It is easy to want to blurt out “I am new to sex” to every guy you may meet. However, in order to prolong your journey as a virgin, it is better you keep this information to yourself. Experts advise that you consider telling this information to someone you think is the right person, and may want to have sex with him soon.
Apart from that, you need not tell anyone about your sexual status. This is because some people are very mischievous. Perhaps, it may be out of jealousy. And therefore, they may try to incite you to have sex with someone once they discover that you are a virgin.
Trust me when I say I do not think you need that pressure in your life. This is because it will have you questioning yourself, your reasons for being a virgin, and even your self-esteem.
6. Learn to connect with your partner in other ways
Connection in every relationship is key. In addition to getting a partner who understands and respects the fact that you will want to wait until marriage, it is only right that you connect with him in other ways. Building a connection sustains the relationship.
Thus, while you and your boyfriend may not be having sex to keep that emotional bond, you can both learn to connect in a variety of ways.
You can show affection to each other by holding hands, kissing, hugging, squeezing your hands firmly, cheek kisses, etc. Research has proven that touch produces the oxytocin hormone in the body which helps two people to bond romantically. So, sex is not the only way you can connect with your partner.
Looking at this from this perspective, you can kill two birds with one stone in this situation. That is, having a successful relationship while remaining a virgin.
7. Check your dressing
If you want to stay a virgin, you ought to check how you dress. Do not get me wrong. I am not saying that you should not have a fashion sense. It is absolutely possible to dress chastely while having a fashion sense. I say this because you do not want to bring the wrong attention to yourself. We live in a strange world nowadays.
It is, therefore, very easy for people to get some weird ideas because of what you may say or even do. There are men who think if you dress in a “sexy” way, it is because you want the male attention in your life. I think that is very weird. But the point is, you have an aim in mind, which is to wait until marriage. I guess this is backed by valid reasons.
So do not let any misguided guy take that away from you; forcefully or not.
You should never say these words to someone who has not had sex: “But you are pretty”, “You have no idea what you are missing”, “You are missing out on the fun”, “Sex is no big deal”, “How are you still a virgin in this day and age”, “Oh you are the religious one huh?”, etc. These comments downgrade that person and make a mockery of his or her choice.
No, It is not bad to be a virgin at all. In fact, it’s pretty cool. It shows you are strong and can abstain from temptations. What’s more, you are who you are and be proud of it.
According to sex experts, people who lose their virginity late in life tend to be embarrassed about their lack of sexual activity. It is very weird to meet someone who is 35-40 years old and who has not had sex. It is not a normal thing to even meet a 30-year-old virgin.
It is quite easy to know if a guy has had intercourse with someone before. This is because he kisses awkwardly and he is very self-conscious when touching you. He will also ask you for permission if he wants to be intimate with you.
A guy who asks if you are a virgin is not a very bright fellow and a busybody. So you are allowed to be creative with your answers. You could ask if he is in an occult in retaliation. You can also be curt and sarcastic.
Before I sign out, I want you to understand that anything is possible if you put your mind to it, And that includes keeping your virginity. But, be firm on your stance and do not compromise on your values. You will know if/when you are ready to get intimate with that special someone. While that is yet to happen, follow the above ways and you will be fine.
I hope you enjoyed this article. Let me know your thoughts in the comments section, and please share this piece.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.