“Love is not all you need, nor all your spouse needs; consider respect.” – Peter Gray Ph.D., Author of Free to Learn.
Some women begin thinking about the man they’ll marry as little girls. While there is a lot they couldn’t possibly understand about marriage at such a tender age, they imagine their husband would be pretty special and deserving of their all. Or is it just me?
Many grow up to realize marriage isn’t all the magical stuff it’s cracked up to be, with some even losing interest in the institution altogether, while others hold on to their notion. As we get older and our childhood fantasies draw closer to becoming a reality, we realize there is a lot to learn to become that near-perfect wife our husband deserves.
Yes, you will love him with your whole heart, but as the quote above says, you need more than that; you need to respect your husband too. Like most things in a relationship, it needs to go both ways, but today, we’ll just focus on showing respect to your husband.
Enjoy reading these 101 relationship-improving tips!
- 1 101 Ways To Show Your Husband Respect
- 1.1 1. Respect yourself
- 1.2 2. Understand he is his own person first
- 1.3 3. Be attentive to your spouse’s wants and needs
- 1.4 4. Put what you learn to use
- 1.5 5. Don’t make him play second fiddle to your other interests
- 1.6 6. Avoid comparing him with other men except in a complimentary context
- 1.7 7. Tell him about your day
- 1.8 8. Ask about his day
- 1.9 9. Be his backbone
- 1.10 10. Seek his opinion
- 1.11 11. Support him financially
- 1.12 12. Support his dreams
- 1.13 13. Listen when he talks to you
- 1.14 14. Make eye contact
- 1.15 15. Look in his eyes when you make love
- 1.16 16. Don’t flirt with other men in front of him
- 1.17 17. Don’t flirt behind his back
- 1.18 18. Refrain from belittling him in front of others
- 1.19 19. Avoid undermining him in front of the kids
- 1.20 20. Don’t disrespect him in private either
- 1.21 21. Make him feel appreciated
- 1.22 22. Try not to get upset over every little thing
- 1.23 23. Love him unconditionally
- 1.24 24. Familiarize yourself with his primary love language
- 1.25 25. Don’t stop making efforts to look good for him
- 1.26 26. Give him the benefit of the doubt
- 1.27 27. Give him space.
- 1.28 28. Accept his family
- 1.29 29. Accept his friends
- 1.30 30. Don’t insult his intelligence
- 1.31 31. Correct him with love
- 1.32 32. Commend him in front of other people
- 1.33 33. Compliment him in private as well
- 1.34 34. Don’t flaunt your safety net
- 1.35 35. Avoid taking a snarky tone with him
- 1.36 36. Introduce him to your friends and coworkers
- 1.37 37. Keep confidential information between you
- 1.38 38. Don’t make parenting decisions behind his back
- 1.39 39. Don’t deny him sex as punishment
- 1.40 40. Commend him more than you criticize
- 1.41 41. Make amends when he corrects you
- 1.42 42. Don’t allow contempt in your marriage
- 1.43 43. Affirm your partner always
- 1.44 44. Encourage open communication
- 1.45 45. Be patient with him
- 1.46 46. Laugh at his jokes
- 1.47 47. Don’t make fun of him
- 1.48 48. Apologize when you’re in the wrong
- 1.49 49. Accept his apology when he’s wrong
- 1.50 50. Take an interest in his job
- 1.51 51. Make your home a peaceful abode
- 1.52 52. Don’t see him as just the money-making machine
- 1.53 53. Don’t lose sight of your shared values
- 1.54 54. Be his biggest fan
- 1.55 55. Exercise self-control
- 1.56 56. Pray for him
- 1.57 57. Pray with him as well
- 1.58 58. Invest in self-improvement
- 1.59 59. Learn to do the things he likes
- 1.60 60. Be vocal about your admiration for him
- 1.61 61. Consider how your actions affect him before doing them
- 1.62 62. Speak highly of him to your children
- 1.63 63. Settle your issues in-house
- 1.64 64. Stimulate his brain
- 1.65 65. Stimulate his other brain regularly
- 1.66 66. Tackle the problem, not the man
- 1.67 67. Stay calm when he’s mad
- 1.68 68. Don’t try to force your ideas on him
- 1.69 69. Get him thoughtful gifts
- 1.70 70. Make him feel wanted
- 1.71 71. Be an open book
- 1.72 72. Confide in him about your personal struggles
- 1.73 73. Don’t leave issues unresolved
- 1.74 74. Check in regularly
- 1.75 75. Ask him what you can do better to make him even happier in your marriage
- 1.76 76. Communicate your concerns
- 1.77 77. Respect his boundaries
- 1.78 78. Don’t do to him what you can’t take
- 1.79 79. Don’t make negative remarks about his look
- 1.80 80. Try to maintain a positive outlook always
- 1.81 81. Be willing to meet him in the middle
- 1.82 82. Don’t watch him go astray
- 1.83 83. Remind him you’re not going anywhere
- 1.84 84. You’re one, act like it
- 1.85 85. Don’t be passive in bed
- 1.86 86. Initiate sex
- 1.87 87. Accommodate your differences
- 1.88 88. Fight for your marriage
- 1.89 89. Don’t give up on your husband
- 1.90 90. Help out around the house
- 1.91 91. Spend time together
- 1.92 92. Let him lead if he’s into that kind of thing
- 1.93 93. Don’t interrupt him when he’s talking
- 1.94 94. Keep him well fed
- 1.95 95. Outsource sometimes so he can rest
- 1.96 96. Drop by at his workplace occasionally
- 1.97 97. Don’t expect something in return for everything you do for your spouse
- 1.98 98. Leave him random love notes
- 1.99 99. Do not invade his privacy
- 1.100 100. Take your share of responsibilities
- 1.101 101. Avoid placing him on an unreasonable pedestal
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude.
101 Ways To Show Your Husband Respect
1. Respect yourself
It is difficult to accord respect to another person if you don’t even rate yourself, to begin with.
2. Understand he is his own person first
Know your partner is his own person first before he’s your husband and that he has a right to his feelings.
3. Be attentive to your spouse’s wants and needs
Listen closely to what your husband says and doesn’t say.
4. Put what you learn to use
Let your interaction with him show you’ve been paying attention.
5. Don’t make him play second fiddle to your other interests
This includes your job and the kids if you have some. Make sure you let him know he’s your priority.
6. Avoid comparing him with other men except in a complimentary context
You may want to compliment or correct him at times. Even at that, steer clear of comparisons to your exes unless he asks.
7. Tell him about your day
Let him know how your day went when he comes home.
8. Ask about his day
Don’t assume you already know what his everyday schedule is, ask him.
9. Be his backbone
Be morally-principled enough to give your partner stability of purpose while remaining flexible enough to respect his decisions.
10. Seek his opinion
Valuing his input, especially on important matters, is a classic way to show your husband respect.
11. Support him financially
Respect your husband by letting him provide as a man would want to, but don’t leave the whole work to him.
12. Support his dreams
See his hopes and dreams as your own and encourage him as he pursues them in any way you can.
13. Listen when he talks to you
Don’t act like you’re not interested in what he’s saying, pay attention and respond when necessary.
14. Make eye contact
Put your phone down and look at him when he’s talking to you.
15. Look in his eyes when you make love
Speaking of eye contact, more than just a way to show respect, it can help deepen your lovemaking experience.
16. Don’t flirt with other men in front of him
Unless that's what you’re both into, then you have his permission to do it.
17. Don’t flirt behind his back
It is still disrespectful to your marriage if you flirt behind your partner’s back, avoid it.
18. Refrain from belittling him in front of others
Don’t give people a reason to disrespect your husband by doing so in front of them.
19. Avoid undermining him in front of the kids
Don’t undermine your husband’s authority by insulting or criticizing him in front of your children, no matter what.
20. Don’t disrespect him in private either
Hold your man in high regard always, even when no one else is watching.
21. Make him feel appreciated
The importance of appreciation in a marital relationship cannot be overemphasized. Acknowledge and be grateful for your partner’s efforts always.
22. Try not to get upset over every little thing
Respecting your partner is letting things that should have upset you go sometimes.
23. Love him unconditionally
Loving unconditionally means being willing to accord your partner respect and be affectionate towards him even when he’s a little undeserving.
24. Familiarize yourself with his primary love language
Learning to love your spouse the way he wants is one of the best ways to show you hold him in high esteem.
25. Don’t stop making efforts to look good for him
Husbands love to feel like they’re worth the effort, so don’t stop going the extra mile to look beautiful.
26. Give him the benefit of the doubt
Show him you trust him even when some things don’t add up.
27. Give him space.
Everyone needs their space, don’t begrudge your partner when he needs some.
28. Accept his family
Your in-laws become your family once you get married, love and treat them like one.
29. Accept his friends
Trust that your husband has his reasons for hanging out with those people, even if you don’t know them well.
30. Don’t insult his intelligence
It is disrespectful to treat anyone as though they’re stupid, much more your spouse.
31. Correct him with love
Your husband will be wrong sometimes. Set him right if you must, but do it respectfully.
32. Commend him in front of other people
Similar to PDA, if he’s into it, say good things about your husband when others are watching.
33. Compliment him in private as well
You don’t need an audience to make your man feel good about himself. Do it when no one is watching also.
34. Don’t flaunt your safety net
Some people advise having a safety net (ready funds) in marriage in case of divorce, while others believe in putting your all in it. If you belong to the former, respect him enough not to flaunt it in his face.
35. Avoid taking a snarky tone with him
In anger or frustration, watch the kind of tone you take with your man both in public and when alone.
36. Introduce him to your friends and coworkers
Let him know the people you spend your time with.
37. Keep confidential information between you
Don’t betray your husband’s confidence by making his secrets a discussion topic among your friends. That’s just rude.
38. Don’t make parenting decisions behind his back
Unless you and your spouse agree otherwise, always consult him before making decisions that affect your kids.
39. Don’t deny him sex as punishment
Your body is yours but denying your husband his conjugal rights to spite him is just unfair.
40. Commend him more than you criticize
Try to tip the scale towards his good traits rather than always focusing on what he’s doing wrong.
41. Make amends when he corrects you
You may not always like his advice, but think through it and make amends/efforts when necessary.
42. Don’t allow contempt in your marriage
They say familiarity breeds contempt. Make no room for it in your home by consciously watching how you relate with your spouse.
43. Affirm your partner always
Build your man up, don’t tear him down with your words and actions.
44. Encourage open communication
Let your partner feel safe enough to express his feelings and concerns without being judged, so there’s no cause to hold grudges.
45. Be patient with him
Avoid getting riled up and learn to exercise patience when things aren’t exactly going your way.
46. Laugh at his jokes
Don’t be so serious, laugh when your man says something funny.
47. Don’t make fun of him
Don’t make jokes you know your husband won’t like or appreciate.
48. Apologize when you’re in the wrong
Refusing to say sorry when you’re obviously at fault is not cute and can be seen by your husband as a lack of regard for him.
49. Accept his apology when he’s wrong
Even if you don’t forget immediately, forgive him when he asks for it.
50. Take an interest in his job
Having a fair understanding of what his work entails makes being able to relate to his daily life easier.
51. Make your home a peaceful abode
Your husband glows different when he comes home to a loving environment instead of more tension after a stressful day at work.
52. Don’t see him as just the money-making machine
If you’re a full-time housewife, don’t relegate your man’s role in your home to finances alone. Allow him to contribute in other ways too.
Show your marriage respect by holding on to you and your partner’s core beliefs when there’s plenty and when the going gets tough.
54. Be his biggest fan
Stand with your man even if everyone else is against him.
55. Exercise self-control
Don’t abuse your position just because you know your husband is understanding. Learn to do everything in moderation.
56. Pray for him
One of the best expressions of love men who believe in God appreciates the most is a wife who prays for them.
57. Pray with him as well
You could both take out time to pray, study and meditate.
58. Invest in self-improvement
You make your husband look good when you win. Never stop investing in self-improvement endeavors.
59. Learn to do the things he likes
Whether it’s a particular style in bed or a delicacy he’s been craving, doing things your spouse loves is a sure-fire way to earn his approval.
60. Be vocal about your admiration for him
Don’t assume he knows; let him know the exact things you admire about him.
61. Consider how your actions affect him before doing them
Doing this shows higher regard for him than seeking forgiveness after you’ve hurt him.
62. Speak highly of him to your children
Unless your husband is a danger to your kids, extol his good qualities in their presence rather than the less-than-pleasant ones.
63. Settle your issues in-house
Don’t bring outsiders into the affairs of your marriage unless it’s absolutely necessary.
64. Stimulate his brain
Keep him on his toes by engaging in intellectual conversations to stimulate his mind, but try not to be condescending while at it.
65. Stimulate his other brain regularly
Hopefully, this requires no explanation.
66. Tackle the problem, not the man
It should be you and your man against the issue during fights, and not you vs. him.
67. Stay calm when he’s mad
It won’t always be easy to do, but both of you flaring up in the heat of the moment helps no one. Let him cool down, then gently approach him.
68. Don’t try to force your ideas on him
Again, always remember he’s his own person first. Offer your two cents and leave the decision to him.
69. Get him thoughtful gifts
Let him know he means a lot to you by getting him gifts that resonate with his personality.
70. Make him feel wanted
Your man doesn’t have to be on the cover of a magazine for you to make him feel hot. Love his body and let him know you do.
71. Be an open book
Honesty is indeed the best policy. Don’t keep secrets from your husband unless it’s a surprise you’re planning for him.
72. Confide in him about your personal struggles
Making your husband that one person you can talk to about anything helps you connect deeper emotionally.
73. Don’t leave issues unresolved
Hashing things out as soon as possible instead of letting them pile and burst out in an unhealthy manner is a form of respect.
74. Check in regularly
Make sure to always check in with your spouse to see if you’re still on the same page. A state of the union type of conversation, if you will.
75. Ask him what you can do better to make him even happier in your marriage
Always ask each other what you can do better to improve the relationship.
76. Communicate your concerns
Let him know where he can make improvements to satisfy you better, he won’t mind.
77. Respect his boundaries
Yes, healthy relationships also have boundaries. Do well to identify your partner’s boundaries and respect them.
78. Don’t do to him what you can’t take
Always ask yourself, ‘how would I feel if my partner did this?”
79. Don’t make negative remarks about his look
Even if you think he could do better, find a constructive way to present it.
80. Try to maintain a positive outlook always
When the going gets tough, and it weighs your man down, someone has to tell him everything will be okay, and it should be you.
81. Be willing to meet him in the middle
A respectful wife doesn’t insist on having her way all the time; you have to be willing to compromise.
82. Don’t watch him go astray
Lovingly nudge back on the right path when he strays, even if he doesn’t always listen.
83. Remind him you’re not going anywhere
He needs to hear that sometimes.
84. You’re one, act like it
Always portray a united front both to your children and outsiders.
85. Don’t be passive in bed
Even if you’re a submissive wife, don’t act like that during sex (except that’s what gets both of you on) always find ways to spice things up in the bedroom.
86. Initiate sex
Unless your arrangement says otherwise, feel free to be forward with your man, some men love that.
87. Accommodate your differences
You can’t be the same in every way. Instead of trying to change him, focus on exploring your differences.
88. Fight for your marriage
Don’t throw your hands up when the first obstacle comes along. If anything, remain more united with your man than ever and fight for what you have.
89. Don’t give up on your husband
Fighting to keep your marital relationship is fighting for your man, so refer back to #89 above.
90. Help out around the house
It’s fun, and it tells him you care.
91. Spend time together
Include spending quality time with him in your schedule; just the two of you
92. Let him lead if he’s into that kind of thing
Give him the chance to feel like the head of the family.
93. Don’t interrupt him when he’s talking
Let him finish, then say your own.
94. Keep him well fed
Unless, of course, he’s the cook of the house.
95. Outsource sometimes so he can rest
No need to let your husband cook or clean all the time just because he can, order in sometimes, or have someone else do it.
96. Drop by at his workplace occasionally
…to bring him ‘lunch.’
97. Don’t expect something in return for everything you do for your spouse
It’s marriage, not tit-for-tat.
98. Leave him random love notes
Write encouraging and loving notes to him.
99. Do not invade his privacy
That includes going through his phone or tracking his every move.
It’s only right to help out whenever you can.
101. Avoid placing him on an unreasonable pedestal
Keep your expectations realistic, he is only human.
Before you say or do something, stop to consider whether you’d find it disrespectful if the same is done to you. Focusing less on what your husband does wrong and developing a more appreciative attitude towards his good qualities can also help you respect him more.
Invading your spouse’s privacy, being inattentive to their needs and concerns, as well as acting like an unmarried person are all signs of disrespect in a marriage. Acting like you’re not married could mean anything from flirting with other people to being unfaithful to your partner.
A wife should love and respect her husband as an equal. She should understand that her marriage will sometimes come before her needs and make her peace with it. A married woman should value her husband’s input and never look down on him no matter what.
Some men belittle their wives to make themselves feel big. Disrespecting your wife shows a lack of regard for your marriage, and in most cases, yourself. Many husbands who behave in this unhealthy manner do it to shield their insecurities and low self-esteem. It’s either that, or they’re cheating on their wives.
Disrespect sets in when you don’t consider someone’s feelings and desires before doing something that affects them. This can mean different things to a man, from his partner repeating the same thing he has complained about to not acknowledging or appreciating his efforts.
You won’t be on your best behavior every day, but even when you fall short, you can still respect your husband by making amends right away. Caveat: not every single point on this list will work for everyone, but I’m pretty sure you can take one or two things away from it. As always, kindly leave a comment and share the article.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.