If you thought about proposing to a man even twenty to thirty years ago, people would think it was crazy. The traditional way for a proposal to happen is for the man to pop the question. However, it’s not always the right way and the number of women proposing to men has increased significantly over the last decade.
So, are you thinking about taking the lead and popping the question to your significant other?
If so, don’t panic! This article has you covered and is going to share with you the top 10 things you need to really think about and keep in mind when planning a proposal.
- 1 Should You Propose To Him?
- 1.1 1. Think about why you want to get married
- 1.2 2. Make sure you’re 110% committed
- 1.3 3. Try to discuss the future beforehand
- 1.4 4. Figure out whether he’ll appreciate you asking
- 1.5 5. Decide whether you’ll get him a ring
- 1.6 6. Choose a special date to do it
- 1.7 7. Think about how he would want to be asked
- 1.8 8. Keep your ideas simple
- 1.9 9. Try not to worry too much about the outcome
- 1.10 10. Prepare what you’re going to say
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
Should You Propose To Him?
1. Think about why you want to get married
Before you try to plan anything or think too far ahead, the most important thing you need to do is ensure you know what your reasons are for wanting to tie the knot. Unfortunately, some women will only propose to their partners because they are scared of the relationship ending or failing, and somehow they think being engaged is going to help that.
Obviously, if your relationship isn’t going very well, getting engaged is definitely not going to sort everything out. In fact, if your relationship is in a bad place, your proposal might get rejected, and it could even cause the relationship to end. So, be sure that you have a set of real reasons as to why you want to get married.
2. Make sure you’re 110% committed
As well as making sure you’re getting married for the right reasons, you need to be sure that you’re committed to this person and this person only going forward. You shouldn’t propose if you have unresolved feelings for someone else, if you’re not sure you really love this person or if you’re quite simply just not ready to be married and settled down with one person.
Marriage is for life, and you’ll want to ensure you can live up to what a marriage asks of you before you pop the question.
3. Try to discuss the future beforehand
There’s absolutely no point in you asking your partner to marry you if they are the type of person that has no intention of ever getting married, or if they simply don’t see a future with you. So it’s vital that you have at least some idea about what your partner wants in their future.
If you know they want to be married at some point and the two of you are always talking about the future together and both of you believe that you’ll be together forever, then sure, ask this guy to marry you! However, if your boyfriend avoids conversations about the future or has made it very clear that he never wants to be married, then obviously don’t propose.
4. Figure out whether he’ll appreciate you asking
One of the biggest things you will have to think about, as a woman proposing to a man, is if he will appreciate it, or if he was planning on asking you. Your man might be disappointed if you ask him and he was actually planning to ask you. In addition, your man’s ego might get a little hurt if you ask him, rather than the other way round.
If your man and you know each other well enough (which you’d hope for if you are planning on being together for life) then you should be able to figure out whether he’ll be hurt by you proposing to him rather than the other way round.
5. Decide whether you’ll get him a ring
Traditionally, when men propose to women, they give them an engagement ring that’s normally a beautiful sparkly diamond. However, when the roles are reversed and you’re the one planning the proposal, it can be tricky to figure out whether you should give your man a ring or not.
You’re clearly not going to give your guy a traditional engagement ring, but most women still want to give something when proposing. You could give him a thick banded ring if you wanted to, but you could also give him a piece of jewelry that resonates with his style like a simple necklace or a watch.
6. Choose a special date to do it
Your proposal date is incredibly important, and it’s a day that both of you will remember for the rest of your life, so you definitely need to think about it at length. Some people prefer to add their proposal date on another special date, like your partner’s birthday, Christmas or New Year, which can be really special for the proposal but can also be overshadowed in the future.
Other’s prefer to choose the same day they met their partner or a commemorative date that’s been in the relationship. And others get engaged in ‘engagement’ season. This is the period between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day and is simply the most popular time for proposals to happen.
7. Think about how he would want to be asked
When planning a proposal, you need to concentrate on your partner and think about how they would like to be proposed to. Although you might think hundreds of rose petals and candles lit on a beach might be the most romantic idea, your partner might be more simplistic, or other romantic gestures might bring him more joy.
You need to think about your partner if you’re the one planning the proposal, not yourself. So, forget about what you want from a proposal, and more about what he wants.
8. Keep your ideas simple
Once you’ve come up with a few ideas that incorporate things that your partner likes, you are going to need to simplify! Although you might think that writing ‘will you marry me’ across the sky with an airplane is a beautiful idea, or doing some kind of extreme sport idea is exhilarating…you need to dial it back and simplify.
The most simple proposals are often the best, so don’t go too overboard, because so much more can go wrong if your plan is extravagant. Keep it simple and just between the two of you – this will make for the most romantic and intimate proposal.
9. Try not to worry too much about the outcome
There’s no doubt about it, proposing to someone is absolutely terrifying. Before you propose, so many questions will be running through your head, and the most apparent question will be “what if they say no?”.
As harsh as this may sound, of course, there is a chance that your partner might reject you and say no. However, that’s the same as anything that you go for in life. If you are in a loving, committed relationship that’s stable and progressing, your partner will most likely say yes. So, stop worrying so much about your partner rejecting you, and aim for success.
10. Prepare what you’re going to say
Although some people are gifted poets and don’t need any pointers on how to express their love for someone clearly and beautifully, you’ll most likely want to prepare what you’re going to say to your partner when you propose to them.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you should write an essay and read it whilst staring down, but it might be useful for you to write a letter and read it while you’re down on one knee, or rehearse what you’re going to say several times so that it’s in your head.
You should propose to your boyfriend in any way that you think will make him happy. Think about what he thinks is romantic, not what your ideal romantic situation is. In addition, as long as you take into account these 10 points above, your proposal will be romantic, well thought through, and successful.
When you’re down on one knee, you should tell your man just how much you love him, how much you want him in your life forever, and exactly how much he really means to you. You can talk about the future you see for the two of you and tell him how much of a better person he makes you.
How a guy reacts when a girl proposes to him completely depends on the type of guy he is. If your man sees you as equal and isn’t stuck with an idea in his head about gender norms, he won’t be phased about you proposing to him because you’re a woman, he’ll just be so happy that you have done so. However, for some guys that have too much ego, they might feel like it should’ve been them asking you.
Hopefully, after reading this article, you understand how you can ask a man to marry you. You need to make sure you’re going into this proposal for the right reasons, you need to think about how your partner would want to be proposed to and you need to be confident.
There are so many unique ways to propose, from treasure hunts to asking friends and family to help you create a memorable scene. However, to make a proposal unique, you need to think about what your partner likes and incorporate that. Also, beware that he might not enjoy being proposed to in public. Sometimes, simplicity is key – take a look at point 8 again!
Hopefully, this article has helped shed some light on proposals for the women out there that want to get down on one knee for their man. If you are planning on proposing, best of luck and don’t worry, he’ll love it!
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.