How To Not Care In A Relationship (19 Ways To Be Care-Free)

Where do you draw the line between love and obsession in a relationship? When do you cross the line from necessary worry to putting unnecessary pressure on yourself due to what your partner does, says, or doesn’t say/do? 

Is anxiety a boost to relationships? Or is drawing comfort from your partner’s feelings a better reinforcement? Should panic attacks be a part of regular relationships, or total peace devoid of drama possible?

These questions are important if you’ve been doubtful about some things in your relationship. If these questions apply to you, you might want to adopt the idea to stop caring in your relationship. What does it mean to stop caring in your relationship? Does it mean you have to shut off your feelings or become callous towards the person you love? 

Does it mean you will suppress your anger or feelings of happiness just so your partner doesn’t know what you’re thinking? Do you suddenly cut off the love of your life out of anger because you want to focus on your happiness, not theirs?

In this case, to stop caring in your relationship is a positive response that will help you balance your feelings against the excesses you’ve been allowing in your relationship. To stop caring means to create new goals for yourself and your relationship. 

When you master the art of putting yourself first to treat others better, your relationships, including the romantic ones, will improve for the best. This article will discuss 19 ways to stop caring unnecessarily in your relationship. 

19 Ways To Not Care In A Relationship

1. Acknowledge that you’re under emotional pressure

While going through life’s motions we tend to forget the things that matter. Things like how we are feeling usually take the backseat. This is because we are focusing on what to eat and where we rest after a long day working to provide these necessities. 

Mental health or the state of your mind is the last thing you consider when trying to discover the root of a problem. However, acknowledging the way you feel and the reason for feeling that way is one of the major ways to stop caring about some things in your relationship. 

When you recognize that you’re under emotional pressure, you’ll be able to take the lid off before you explode. You won’t need to keep pretending that all is well in paradise.

2. Accept that your current approach isn’t working anymore

We love routine; the ability to do the same things every day without fear of disruption by something newly introduced to us. Routine is great and important for consistency to reign. But there is a need to switch your approach if your current lifestyle process isn’t helpful. 

If you’ve acknowledged that you’re operating under emotional stress, and realized that you need a fresh perspective, then you’ll know that your present methods of dealing with your issues won’t help you much for long. 

Seek new ways to improve your life, and your love life will improve in the best ways possible. For example, if using encouraging words to push your partner outside of their comfort zone is no longer working, try using flippant words that will challenge them out of it.

3. Confront yourself about why you’re in that relationship

Sometimes, people enter or stay in relationships with no clear reason why they do so. There are different reasons why you enter or remain in a relationship. If you can’t define why you are in your current one, you might find that anxiety is your constant companion. 

It is anxiety that makes you wonder after every argument if that person would leave you. When a small problem happens you get palpitations and your heart skips because you fear the outcome. If you are sure of why you’re in that partnership, you will be more clear-headed to proffer the best solutions instead of letting fear take over.

4. Discover what a healthy relationship entails

Another error most people make is, they allow their past failed relationships to dictate what all relationships should look like. If you don’t know what honey tastes like you cannot conclude that all sweeteners taste like sugar. Similarly, you cannot allow the toxicity you experienced in your previous relationship to seep into your current one.

What is a healthy relationship? Do you deserve to be in one? A healthy relationship allows you to be yourself, love another person the way you love yourself, and be able to receive all the care you deserve. 

You deserve that kind of love even if it’s to feel compensated for the ugly curves life has thrown you. Once you know what a healthy partnership is, you’ll stop stressing yourself, and focus on making your relationship work.

5. Adopt self-awareness

Being present is both a skill you’ll have to learn and a blessing if you finally do. Being present in your feelings, towards your current circumstances (and communicating with the person you love) is very important if you want to stop caring about the wrong things.

Adopt self-awareness if you want to recognize stress signals. What sign first points out to you that you’re becoming overwhelmed? Is it the growing emotional distance between you and your partner, or your increased interest in their daily activities? 

Your stress signal can be either of these two and neither bodes well for you, your partner, or your love life. Creating a huge distance or showing excessive interest toward your partner will cause a rift that will spike your anxiety. When you’re in a constant state of awareness, almost nothing will pass without your knowledge.

6. Understand that anxiety only keeps you in the dark

understand that anxiety only keeps you in the dark

The opposite of self-awareness is oblivion which translates to being in the dark. You might think allowing anxiety to take over shows you’re concerned about the relationship, but it does not. Stress and anxiety throw you off the track and you end up more confused than when you first felt worried about your relationship. 

Like a hunting dog given the wrong scent to hunt its prey, your anxiety kicks in but cannot help you because your thoughts are uncoordinated. When you understand the need to take charge of your issues rather than wallow in nervousness, you’ll stop caring about the outcome of confronting the root of your problems. 

The reward for coming out of the dark and facing your issues is true liberty to enjoy your relationship under the best circumstance.

7. Give your partner enough time before you make conclusions

Assumption means jumping to conclusions without concrete facts, and it has to be the cause of so many breakups. If you are always ready to believe the worst of your partner, you won’t recognize them even when they are operating at their best.

When you’re often thinking of when your partner will flop, you’ll be filled with anxiety, and your mind will never be at ease. The solution to this is to love your partner by trusting them to always do the right thing because they respect you. After all, you have no business being in a relationship with someone you can’t trust!

8. Pay attention to external factors that influence your relationship

It is normal to like to think nothing can touch your love for your partner, but it is also wise to be attentive to the things that can threaten that love. Beyond the internal factors that cause conflict, there are external factors that can initiate pressure within your relationship. 

If you aren’t observant, these factors will sneak up on you under the guise of ‘caring about how your relationship is faring' and destroy your peace. One solution to adopt is to hear what such external factors are telling you. Sift through the feedback, then do what’s best for your relationship. 

For example, let’s say a mutual friend lights the fire of jealousy in you by saying they think your partner is cheating on you. Instead of becoming anxious or taking the information at face value, tell them “Thank you, I’ll handle it”. This response will put them in their place, and help you assume control of whatever you’re doing to do with the information.

9. Give room for mistakes

The idea to stop caring in your relationship doesn’t mean taking your partner’s mistakes indefinitely. What it means is don’t kick your partner out until after they’ve used up their grace. Allow them to be human for only as long as you can take it, then let self-preservation kick in.

The most important aspect of not caring about some things in your love life is the ability to keep every other thing in your life running smoothly. This means, your relationship, and your life can go on side by side, creating the balance you need.

10. Stop seeing things where there’s nothing

Except you’re suffering from medical-related hallucinations, there’s no reason to see problems where there are none. Unfortunately, it is easy to let your mind wander far away from the truth because you aren’t sincere yourself. 

One of the reasons anger rules you most of the time, and you see things that aren’t there is because you’ve not been completely truthful with your partner. By coming clean about your feelings, you’ll eliminate the need to see conflict when happiness is within your reach.

11. Address your paranoia with your partner

Acknowledging your struggles with needless paranoia is one thing, talking about it with your partner is another thing. Also, the solution to your relationship-related anxiety doesn’t end with self-acknowledgment. Taking to your partner means you’ll have another person to hold your hands when your insecurities come up again. 

They’d understand when you’re acting out of turn. Your partner will have a clear understanding of why you act the way you do sometimes, and they’ll get answers that will ease their paranoia too.

12. Be the still water in your relationship

be the still water in your relationship

If the situation is flipped and your partner is the one acting paranoid, you can easily take on their paranoia upon yourself. The way to stop caring, in this case, is by not allowing them to project their feelings on you or let anger at their helplessness take over. 

Instead of feeling anxious about the implications of every occurrence triggered by your partner’s anxiety, be the still water that cannot be ruffled by any eternal factor. Regardless of the sticks and stones, your partner is indirectly throwing at the partnership, maintaining your resolve to live like you normally would. 

The truth is, whatever will happen will happen, but you’ll leave the experience with your sanity intact and hopefully help your partner do the same.

13. Adopt transparency

Transparency means keeping your partner in the light regarding your life. It means not springing on them ideas you had not discussed with them. One reason you care too much is that you feel you compete with your partner. 

By encouraging transparency, you’ll both understand each other’s goals without anyone thinking the worst of the other person.

14. Discover new things to focus on

Another reason you focus so much on the cause and effect of everything that happens in a relationship is that you aren’t allowing yourself to explore other things that can make you feel alive. One of the ways to overcome your anger at the way things are currently going in your love life is to create new habits such as picking up a new hobby or project. 

Sometimes too, you just need to get away from all the things you see every day and view life from a different perspective. Visit new places, meet new people and come back refreshed. Focusing on a new experience or pursuing a long-time dream can take off the pressure of wanting a successful relationship.

If they love you, your partner would understand why you want to get away and help you arrange how that will happen.

15. Set up progressive boundaries

When one person has too much access to your life, and there’s no boundary to keep them in check, you’ll always battle the feeling of inadequacy. No matter how much you love your partner, there should be boundaries that will keep the balance in your relationship strong.

To have a healthy relationship that will progress naturally, setting boundaries is not negotiable. Sit your partner down and let them know the things you’re not comfortable with. Then set up boundaries that will keep such things in check, thus reducing your anxiety at the thought of giving over control to someone else.

16. Adopt open communication

Like transparency, the strength of the communication in your relationship will determine how much balance you can have in and out of your relationship. Having an open communication method will help you and your partner work on trust issues.

If you’re always open with the person you love, they will be aware of when you’re anxious or at peace. If your partner knows the things that trigger your feelings of insecurity, they’ll know what to avoid. Open communication is not the same as assuming control over you, it simply means knowing where the other person stands at every point.

17. Set achievable goals and crave reasonable wants

Another thing that triggers your anxiety is when the goals you set for your relationship don’t work out the way you expected. The reason you set such unrealistic goals is that you’re comparing your relationship with others. The danger to doing that is you don’t know the battles such couples face when no one else is there. 

You also don’t know what they sacrificed to have the relationship you admire so much. Instead of desiring things whose price you can’t pay, or setting goals based on other people’s projected results, set goals that suit your life and that of your partner.

18. Give your partner space

give your partner space

Your partner needs space to clear their head the same way you crave personal space to maintain your sanity. This particular point is important if you’ve been acting clingy and not allowing your partner out of your sight for too long.

Whether the relationship is new or not, people don’t want to be made to feel like they are tied down to one person forever (even if they are). No one wants to feel they’ve got no choice. As such, let your partner have their getaway period even if it’s for a short time. Allow them to take a breather and they’ll appreciate you for it.

19. Seek professional help and work through your anxiety

The first step to being healed is to be diagnosed, but a diagnosis is not enough. If left untreated, the right diagnosis is useless and has severe consequences. Also, throwing anger at your situation won’t solve anything either. The right thing to do is get treated by a professional if your anxiety is going through the roof and affecting everything you hold dear.

If you’re always anxious about too many things at the same time, your life and romance will eventually take the backseat because you won’t be able to do anything right until you regain control.


When should you give up on a relationship?

You should give up on a relationship when you are always prone to anger and anxiety at every little thing your partner does. If the feeling of contentment is no longer there, you’ll want to step out of your relationship anyway, so it’s best to end it.

How can I worry less about my relationship?

Divert your focus to other things that will make you feel productive or less anxious. The feeling of being useful outside your relationship can be refreshing.

What should I avoid in a relationship?

Avoid becoming clingy to the extent of making your partner feel they have no control over their lives. You wouldn’t want someone to have total dominance over you either.

How do I stop caring?

Remind yourself of the things that make that person bad for you. The negative things will make you sober and stop caring.

What is a toxic relationship?

In a toxic relationship, you’re doing things that are bad for your physical, mental, and emotional health, but you can’t break away easily because of the perceived benefits you gain or the hard work you’ve put into it.

To Summarize 

Rather than see not caring about certain things in your relationship as bad, consider the numerous benefits you’ll get from doing so. To stop caring unnecessarily about things is to regain confidence in your ability to build a beautiful life and relationship side by side.

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