Love in itself is a crazy emotion. I mean, how else will you explain wanting to spend all the 24 hours in a day just in the company of your partner? Or, how else will you explain the selflessness that comes with ease when you are in a relationship with a man you love your entire being? Crazy! That is what love is. There is no better word to describe what that feeling is.
Most times, you cannot control it. You become a different person and start exhibiting certain behaviors you cannot control and explain. As sweet as love can be, it can slash your tires and burn down your house crazy. Things can go from joy, desire and so much fun to insecurity and unexplainable outright crazy behavior. You can go from your normal unproblematic self to an insane person.
Love makes you do irrational things, insane things, things you thought you would never in a million years think you are capable of—there you are doing it. The past also has a way of shaping how we act in love subsequently. One of the craziest things I did in a relationship was I traveled by road for eighteen hours to a place I knew nobody and understood nothing about their knowledge.
I have been in my share of relationships and I have not fought, slashed my man's tires, stalked his every move, or killed anyone for smiling at him. I think it’s safe to say that although I am crazy in love, I am not a crazy person in love. I will tell you my secret because we girls have to stick together. Here are eleven ways not to be a crazy girlfriend in a relationship.
- 0.1 11 Ways To Not Be A Crazy Girlfriend In A Relationship
- 0.1.1 1. You are the main character
- 0.1.2 2. Don’t forsake your female friends
- 0.1.3 3. His friends are not your friends
- 0.1.4 4. Make logical decisions
- 0.1.5 5. Self Esteem is key
- 0.1.6 6. Trust your partner
- 0.1.7 7. Effective communication
- 0.1.8 8. Leave the past in the past
- 0.1.9 9. Channel the anxiety into something positive
- 0.1.10 10. Never jump to a conclusion
- 0.1.11 11. Live your own life
- 0.2 FAQs
- 0.3 To Sum Up
11 Ways To Not Be A Crazy Girlfriend In A Relationship
1. You are the main character
It is extremely important to always remember that this is your life. You are the main character so no matter how much you love them or how much time you spend together or whatever plans they have for you in the future, never forget that they come secondary. So, rather than acting irrationally, excuse them from your life.
Walk that toxic boyfriend out of your life and shut the door behind him. No relationship is worth you acting crazy over. If it is yours, it should not be so hard. Break-ups are not the end of the world. There is more to life than relationships. Always remember that if it no longer serves you or brings you happiness, you can take charge and there is nothing wrong with starting over.
2. Don’t forsake your female friends
Most girls make this mistake when they get into relationships. They forsake their friends and just concentrate on their relationship with their new man. Never forget that friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. Your friends keep you sane. They call you to order when a relationship is eating you up or shaping you into who you are not.
Female friends keep you grounded, so stick with your girls, and spend quality time with them because they usually are the first to notice if a relationship is driving you crazy. You need their advice, emotional support, and views on certain issues.
A man that plans to drive you mad in a relationship will keep you secluded from the company of your friends. It starts with the little things like “I don’t like you hanging out with your friends”. Pay attention.
3. His friends are not your friends
The first step into becoming an insane woman in a relationship is assuming that the friends of your boyfriend are your friends. Sis, please! They owe you zero loyalty. They will pick your boyfriend a thousand and one times before they ever think of you. You are on your way to Crazy-vile if you think they owe you any sort of loyalty.
Befriending your boyfriend's friends won’t make you one of the boys and it won’t qualify you to get insider information on any infidelity or disrespect to your relationship. Thinking you are friends with them is what will make you go insane when you find out your boyfriend is trash. Just keep it cordial and don’t expect anything from them.
4. Make logical decisions
As women in a relationship, it is easy for us to think without the heart and do things out of sentiment. Be logical. Don’t make any life-changing decisions based solely on the happiness of your boyfriend and your relationship without really considering the long-term effect on your life and happiness. Don’t be scared to use logic sometimes and be selfish with your happiness.
Making decisions based on sentiments rather than logic breeds resentment. When the energy is not reciprocated, simply because your partner thinks or makes decisions logically, you lose it and become insane in the relationship. Before making a major decision, consider what makes you happy and do it for your happiness, if they love you they would understand.
If they don’t understand, you will be alright all the same.
5. Self Esteem is key
You are exactly who you think you are with value-added tax. You are enough and this should always remain at the back of your mind In a relationship. If your boyfriend was not attracted to something special about you, you both will not be in a relationship to start with. You are the real deal and you should know this and it is left to your man to act as he knows it.
You become crazy in relationships when you are constantly trying to audition for the affection of your boyfriend simply because you don’t think you are deserving of it. It is never your job to prove your value. They should know your value and be terrified to lose you. You have nothing to be insecure about because he knows and you know that you are top tier.
6. Trust your partner
There is no point remaining in a relationship if you don’t trust your partner. Aside from the many reasons that mistrust will make you paranoid, you will become insane and your mental and physical health will be in shambles. I am a very jealous lover so staying in a relationship with a man I don’t trust will jeopardize my mental health and this is why.
I will never see females talking with my man as just platonic or business-related. I will immediately think of the worst at all times. It does not help especially if the trust has been broken in the past and trust has not been earned. There will always be issues in the relationship if there is no trust, and it is better to split than to watch the insanity unfold.
7. Effective communication
Effective communication is an integral part of relationships. It is significant to spend time with your boyfriend and talk to them about real-life issues and problems that might come up in the relationship rather than bottling the emotions up. It will only lead to passive-aggressiveness, leading to an unhealthy relationship environment for you and your partner.
To save every member of the relationship from insanity and chaos, spend time talking about things. From how your day went to how he slammed the door. Nothing is too small or so unnecessary to discuss. Your feelings and opinions are valid in a relationship and not airing them can cause more damage than good. There should be no fear in communicating.
8. Leave the past in the past
It’s called the past for a reason. If it were so important, it would be called the present instead. I know your shady ex hurt you and the fear of history repeating itself is very valid. But just let sleeping dogs lie. Your partner has not given you any reason to doubt him so enjoy the benefit of the doubt.
Bask in the beauty of your relationship instead of stalking the girl that put love-struck emoji on his last Instagram post or trying to figure out his password so you can go through his phone. Breathe sis. That man was trash, your new man is perfect till proven otherwise. So enjoy the relationship.
9. Channel the anxiety into something positive
We all have our baggage. I mean, an important part of being human is coming with your faults because no one is perfect. This is normal. It becomes abnormal if you fixate on it and let those thoughts consume you. If you feel anxious about anything, talk to your boyfriend about it. After all, it takes two.
If that does not work, instead of resorting to irrational behaviors channel all the anxiety into something productive and worthwhile. It could be learning a new skill, hanging out with friends, decluttering, exercising, or going on solo dates. Doing what you love and not letting negative thoughts in.
10. Never jump to a conclusion
Jumping is how people break their heads. So he said he was going to call you at a particular time and he hasn’t called, don’t conclude for him. Wait till you hear his side of the story. Don’t paint scenarios up in your head and try to turn them into realities based on assumptions. He is probably not out there cheating; he has a life, so let him live it.
You cannot police a grown man around, you are not his mother. So, if he is not picking up your calls, the solution is not to call him 25 more times or send him a thousand and one messages about what you think he might be doing and making a complete mess of yourself. Just trust that he has a valid explanation for his whereabouts. He owes you that.
11. Live your own life
“This life is one, live your own and let me live mine” is a common saying and no truer words have been said. As much as you desire to spend every minute of the day with your partner, it is important to have a life outside. So, go hiking, don’t miss that yoga class, take up painting, music, pottery—whatever lights your soul or makes you happy.
Don’t make your life revolve around the relationship, let it revolve around your life. Men love women they complement, no man wants a liability. Be complete in yourself and comfortable within yourself. Your partner will only see you as crazy if your happiness relies only on the relationship.
You can stop this by being completely comfortable in your own company and life. Try to channel all the energy into a positive light. Immerse yourself in productive activities.
Leave. That is the only solution, otherwise, you become one. Don’t even think of changing him. He is a grown man meaning his mother could not even handle him. Remaining in such a situation will turn you into a shadow of yourself.
Yes, it can if it is with a toxic partner. From the lack of trust to the web of lies to the constant gaslighting. You will just appear to be an insane person no matter who you explain it to.
No mentally stable guy likes them. The world is already a stressful place, everyone wants a woman that can give them peace, not constant headaches, unpredictable mood swings, and slashed tires.
Yes, it can. No matter what the partner does or says, you just will not see beyond the fact that you are worth every bit of love he is showing. You won’t fully understand or acknowledge the depth of the love.
To Sum Up
I hope you enjoy reading this article as much as I enjoyed writing it. Kindly digest that you are worthy, valued, seen, and the past cannot continue to run your life. I look forward to your views and questions in the comments. Don’t forget to share with your loved ones if you enjoyed every bit of it.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.