Every relationship gets to a point where either one or both partners aren’t as passionate about their relationship as they initially were. At this point, it seems like everything is going in a downward spiral.
This is normal even for a healthy relationship especially when these two have been together for a while, and have been through many ups and downs. However there’s a more extreme version of this, sometimes one partner could start to take the other for granted. Most times, the girlfriends are the victims in these scenarios.
Usually, when a guy likes a girl he takes her out on dates, gives her all the attention, and tries to impress her so she can agree to be with him. Some men tend to relax after this stage and expect the relationship to run on autopilot. He may not be aware that this behavior could be making his partner feel neglected.
If your partner doesn’t make you feel special anymore, and you don’t know what to do, this article is for you. Below are 19 ways you can make your boyfriend realize your importance.
- 1 19 Ways To Make Your Boyfriend Realize Your Importance
- 1.1 1. Know your own worth
- 1.2 2. Do you
- 1.3 3. Stay busy
- 1.4 4. Stop texting and calling too frequently
- 1.5 5. Don’t be too available
- 1.6 6. Talk to him about it
- 1.7 7. Hang out with your friends more
- 1.8 8. Stop doing loads for him
- 1.9 9. Manage your tolerance
- 1.10 10. Don’t be a yes woman
- 1.11 11. Don’t be a doormat
- 1.12 12. Practice self-love
- 1.13 13. Put your foot down more often
- 1.14 14. Make your own decisions
- 1.15 15. Don’t do everything with him
- 1.16 16. Give him lots of space for a while
- 1.17 17. Let him come to you
- 1.18 18. Avoid being clingy
- 1.19 19. Let him earn your attention
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
19 Ways To Make Your Boyfriend Realize Your Importance
1. Know your own worth
One major reason your boyfriend doesn’t realize your importance is because you don’t know your value. The way you act and talk when you’re aware of your own worth is different from how you act when you’re dependent on the value that other people place on you.
As they say, actions speak louder than words. The moment you realize that you deserve true love, respect, and care you will stop acting desperate.
This is difficult for a lot of women because they probably don’t have great exes or wonderful exes, so they tend to have a wrong impression of themselves. Once you realize that you’re valuable, you’ll subconsciously begin to stand up for yourself and you’ll feel amazing.
You won’t let people treat you with disrespect and you won’t settle for less. This will also help you build a healthy relationship.
2. Do you
Do what you want to do. Most women get into relationships and completely lose themselves. They forget who they are, what they truly like, and what they can’t stand because they’ve compromised so much.
You need to avoid getting to this point. If you’ve noticed that you’re starting to lose your individuality, step back and rediscover yourself. This exercise alone will help you detach from your mate a little more.
Since this is a journey you’ve got to embark on by yourself, you’ll automatically spend less time with him. This way, he’ll have the space and opportunity to miss you a bit more.
3. Stay busy
An idle mind truly is the devil’s workshop. The more time you spend doing nothing, the more time you’d spend sitting around sulking about being neglected. Instead of giving yourself more time to feel bad about your boyfriend’s neglect, get yourself engaged in areas you find interesting.
It feels amazing to search for yourself and rediscover what you like. You’ll have the opportunity to discover your hobbies, try new things, explore, and go on adventures. It's an amazing process altogether.
You’ll be able to find yourself and have fun doing it. You’ll have less time to wallow in your sadness and you’ll be adding value to yourself. With time, his attitude towards you will change.
4. Stop texting and calling too frequently
No one likes to be bothered by too many phone calls and text messages. If you keep calling him and sending him messages ten times a day, he’s going to get tired of you. He needs to get some work done, he needs to live his life and for God’s sake, he needs his space. Perhaps you need to examine yourself and make sure you’re not smothering him too much.
This isn’t specific to only men in relationships, no one likes this. You’ve got to let him breathe, perhaps this is the reason he seems to be neglecting you. Perhaps, he just feels a bit choked. So, what you need to do is reduce the way you text him and call him, let him breathe.
5. Don’t be too available
If you’re always available to your boyfriend, he’s going to take you for granted over time. If you had great exes who enjoyed your availability, you have to realize that your current partner may not appreciate this.
Even if he genuinely loves you and is a good person, this is just human nature. We aren’t built to pay attention to the things we already have, we tend to instinctively go after the things we don’t have.
This simply means that being available to him all the time could make you less of a priority to him at certain times. So, if you're feeling a bit neglected or unnoticed, perhaps stay out of his way for a while, and let him seek you out.
6. Talk to him about it
Sometimes, open communication can solve massive issues, perhaps you just need to constructively point it out to him and he'll make the necessary changes.
The saying, “communication is key” is common for a reason; communication is very important in relationships. Perhaps, it seems like your partner doesn't value you because he's been stressed about work, school, or family.
Maybe he never realized he was treating you that way in the first place. Letting him know may help him become a bit more aware of his actions. It doesn’t have to be a lengthy conversation, just make sure you’re passing across the message.
7. Hang out with your friends more
Having more nights out with the girls could help you out, it could take your mind off your man for a while and help you bond more with your friends at the same time.
It doesn't always have to be a Friday night out at the club or a sleepover, you could take a girl's trip together, see the world, learn about new cultures and meet new people. You could also revisit some of the fun things you used to do as a kid. The key is to have fun, feel amazing and stop focusing on not getting attention from bae.
8. Stop doing loads for him
There are many women out there who get carried away and start to act like their boyfriend's mom instead of their partner. Just because he’s done a few good things for you doesn’t mean you need to serve him for the rest of your days. They cook all his meals for him, do his laundry, clean up, run errands for him, buy groceries, and just cater to him in every way.
You may not be doing all these things, but if you're doing a little too much for him, he’ll stop feeling lucky to have you and start getting a bit entitled. If he's completely dependent on you in a particular aspect, then you're doing too much already. You need to calm down a bit or he'll continue to take you for granted. Do less.
9. Manage your tolerance
Relationships require tolerance. However, you need to moderate this tolerance. Compromise but don't bend over backward for him, don't neglect your needs just to please him. Remember, you're an equal and valuable half of the relationship and you have equal rights with your partner.
You don't need to be the one constantly tolerating everything. If he does or says anything that upsets you, speak your truth. Don't keep quiet and take it in the name of tolerance. You're entitled to your feelings.
10. Don’t be a yes woman
The moment he realizes that you'll never say no to him, he'll keep taking advantage of you. You need to make him realize that you won’t always agree with what he wants. As the above paragraph pointed out, you're an equal half of the relationship. You can't say yes to everything. You're allowed to disagree sometimes. This doesn't make you a horrible person.
The reason you're in a relationship with this person is so you can be happy and make him happy too. There's no need to remain there if you're not happy, so stay honest with yourself and try your best to make every moment of your relationship a happy one for you.
11. Don’t be a doormat
Don't let him walk all over you, in fact, if he takes advantage of your quiet nature, then he doesn't deserve to be with you at all. You need to make a decision to stand up for yourself on a regular basis. If you've let him treat you like dirt in the past, it's time to stop.
It's never too late to grow a backbone, work on yourself and your self-worth, and build strong inner confidence so you can teach your partner how to treat you. Make him realize you deserve to be treated with respect. It will be rewarding to you, your partner, and your relationship.
12. Practice self-love
Love yourself! You're the only one you've got. No matter what you do, you can't definitely and continuously control how people treat you but you can control how you feel about yourself.
If your man isn't treating you like a queen, treat yourself like a queen. If your man isn't loving you, love yourself. Give yourself that love and care that you wish he would give to you, and stop putting him first.
If he forgets to celebrate you then celebrate yourself. Don't wait for him to come over so you can cuddle up in front of a TV with him. Instead, make some popcorn, slip into something comfortable and relax on the couch while you watch your favorite show. Love yourself and enjoy yourself.
13. Put your foot down more often
You don't need to compromise every single time just because you’re his girlfriend. Sometimes, you need to put your foot down. This will make him realize that you're not a pushover, it will show him that you actually have a backbone.
If there's something you aren't comfortable with, you need to say no to it and stand by your answer. Don't change your mind just because he's upset about it or uncomfortable, your feelings matter too.
If you don’t decide to be strong and assertive, he will think that you are easy to manipulate and control. So you need to show him that you’re not a puppet, you have a brain, a personality, and a will. Once you do this, he will have more respect and regard for you.
14. Make your own decisions
Don’t wait for your man to approve of all the decisions you make for yourself, make some decisions on your own and stick to them. You don’t always have to factor his schedule, his comfort, and his opinion into your own plans.
For example, if you’d like to go on a trip just to get away or to feed your wanderlust, you don’t always have to wait for him to come along with you. You also don’t have to factor in his opinion on whether you should go or not, decide if you want to go and do it.
Also, if you happen to be used to your boyfriend ordering meals for you without even asking, you may need to stop that. There’s a chance that it means he knows you well and he knows what you like, but there’s a thin line between that and being controlling. So perhaps, you need to start making your own orders at restaurants and everywhere else.
15. Don’t do everything with him
Have your own leisure time, you don’t always have to spend your time with him just because you want to be the cool girlfriend. It's true that one of the joys of a relationship is companionship; spending time with your significant other is not just blissful but also necessary. How else will you bond?
However, distance makes the heart grow fonder and everything should be done in moderation. So, try spending maximum weekends with him but also leave time to spend with yourself and your other friends. Give him attention, but do so in moderation so he doesn’t start taking your presence for granted. That way, he’ll value you more.
16. Give him lots of space for a while
If your boyfriend stops treating you like you matter, you may need to make a few adjustments. Perhaps, you need to step back and give him some space. If you’re used to always being around him, this may be a challenge for you.
However, it's very necessary if you intend to gain back his respect and regard. Reduce the calls and text messages and give him some space. Your constant attention may be the reason why your boyfriend ignores you.
Once he notices that you haven’t been around him for a while, you haven’t called him or texted him and you're just focused on yourself, he will begin to get curious about this distance and he will put more effort into doing better.
17. Let him come to you
Stop chasing him and practically begging for his attention, it's time to let him come to you. This is necessary especially if you’ve spoken to him and he isn’t taking you seriously. You may have to take extreme measures.
If he hasn’t responded positively to your previous efforts. Perhaps, it's time to take the low road and give him a little cold shoulder. He needs to be given a little taste of his own medicine.
Make him realize you have an angry side, perhaps he doesn’t know you have one. If he’s aware that you aren’t always pleasant, the happy-go-lucky gal he tends to take for granted, he will adjust and start to treat you with the respect that you deserve. He may even miss you.
18. Avoid being clingy
Some of us just can’t help clinging to our significant other, we just love being around them so much. However, not every man will appreciate that, some men will either get overwhelmed or view that as a weakness and start to disrespect you.
If you’ve noticed some changes in your boyfriend’s behavior towards you, you may need to reel it in a bit. No matter how challenging it is for you to suspend cuddle time for a few weeks or to resist going places with him for a while, you need to suck it up and do it. Watch how he reacts to this.
If he starts missing your presence and comes over to your place for more than just sex, then he does genuinely love you and there’s a chance he’ll realize you’re important to him. However, if he doesn’t you may have to take a deep breath and leave the relationship no matter how amazing he is, there are equally amazing men out there.
19. Let him earn your attention
Remember those lovely times before you started dating? He would open doors for you, call and text to find out how you’re doing, he’ll be there at your place the moment you call, etc.
However, as the relationship progresses he gets relaxed and doesn’t take you as seriously as he used to. He forgets to call or text you, he doesn’t really care to ask how your day went and doesn’t care to listen if you need a listening ear.
This is more common than you think, so you’re not alone. However, if you’re sick and tired of it, you can change it. So, you may need to adjust your behavior so he has to earn your attention. Be mysterious, don’t give him all the information for free, give him something to seek out and explore, don’t give it all away. Most guys like a challenge.
There’s no easy way to answer all these questions and there’s no guarantee that any method you use will work. You’re just going to have to take your chances, create some distance between the two of you for a while and watch what he’ll do about it. Decide that if he truly loves you, he’ll come after you.
One of the most powerful ways to establish your value is to speak up, don’t stay silent. Saying something to your spouse will not only make him aware of how he’s treating you but will also make you feel less powerless. You may also need to set more boundaries for both you and him, this way he will respect you more.
Stop breaking your back trying to please him, do less for him. Stop doing those things you used to do for him or at least reduce the number of times you do them, if you don’t he may continue to take you for granted. Also, treat yourself nicely, when you do this, you’re subconsciously telling your mind that you’re valuable.
You need to tell him. You may think it's obvious to him what you are doing but you don’t know that he’s completely clueless. Perhaps it's time to sit him down and talk to him. Let him know that you feel bad and let him know exactly what he does that makes you feel that way.
You’ll know if he’s losing interest in you when he starts getting distant, even when you guys are together it seems like his mind is somewhere else. Also, he may seem moody or uninterested to spend time with you. These are clear signs that he has lost interest in you and your relationship.
I hope you found this article helpful. Remember, your boyfriend may never take you seriously if he knows you’ll always be available to him, change things up a little and give him more space. Please let me know your opinion on this topic and be sure to share it with friends.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.