Every day, we make different decisions. Some of these decisions are made subconsciously because they’ve become as familiar as the air we breathe. Some are made deliberately, others, on the spur of the moment.
Whatever speed each decision requires, it comes with an outcome. If you make a bad decision, most people call the outcome a consequence. If it is a good decision, they simply call it a good outcome or result.
Either way, you get to live with the regret or victory of your decisions. Most of the time, you make decisions for one sole purpose – to earn your own happiness. Even when the decision involves other lives, you want to do something that makes you sleep well at night.
- 1 11 Ways To Make The Right Decision In Love
- 1.1 1. Decisions are part of the process, not just outcomes
- 1.2 2. Fear can be a necessary decision-making factor
- 1.3 3. Access the situation first
- 1.4 4. Let your intuition lead
- 1.5 5. Seeking the advice of trusted people
- 1.6 6. Give allowance for mistakes
- 1.7 7. What or what triggers your decision-making ability/process?
- 1.8 8. Give it a moment
- 1.9 9. Follow the advice you give other people
- 1.10 10. Practice empathy
- 1.11 11. Surround yourself with love and positivity
- 2 FAQ
- 3 To Summarize
11 Ways To Make The Right Decision In Love
When it comes to love and relationships, decision-making is a bit tricky. Depending on how invested you get in relationships, you let your emotions or fear decide for you. If you’re not that far gone yet, logic can still help you make better decisions.
To be honest, no single decision you make in a love relationship is completely devoid of the influence of emotions.
Do you think your big decisions have been the wrong ones? Has fear been ruling decision-making ability? It is easy to say make the right decisions, but in love, making decisions isn’t always a case of simply choosing between black and white. The tips in this article will help give you a different perspective on making the best decisions.
1. Decisions are part of the process, not just outcomes
Most times, people are too focused on the outcomes of their decisions than they are on the changes that occur during the process. Whether or not you make wrong choices, your wrong decisions can create some good.
For example, you get to know the things you’ve been doing wrong. This means you can make better-informed choices the next time you’re faced with the same case.
If you are always seeing decision-making for only the outcomes they give, you will never see the potential right decisions you make even after making a wrong decision. This doesn’t mean you should always go out of your way to make bad decisions. It just means that you should see the good in every decision-making process.
2. Fear can be a necessary decision-making factor
Most people are comfortable telling themselves that fear is always a bad thing. They lie to themselves that they are always courageous and aren’t afraid of anything, especially in relationships.
One of the red flags you should watch out for is if not a single decision of yours was ever influenced by fear. This tip might seem counterproductive but think about it. When you acted based on your suspicion that your ex was trying to swindle, did it not turn out true?
A fear-based decision isn’t necessarily a bad decision. You investigating your boyfriend based on your fear that he is stealing from you is a good decision for you. If you had discovered that you were wrong, that would have been a bad decision. Either way, you had to make a decision fast. Waiting in such a case wouldn’t have favored you.
3. Access the situation first
If you want to choose wisely every time, you need to observe the signs surrounding each idea you have to decide on. One decision can make or mar relationships, so you need to apply logic instead of relying solely on your emotions.
You might need to go for a different decision in one scenario instead of making the same spontaneous choice as the other times. Using the example in the previous tip, if you suspect your husband of stealing from you, you can’t just accuse him. You will need to see at least one incriminating sign before you commence an investigation.
If it is a case of infidelity and you catch him red-handedly, you know the facts, but what will you do afterward? In this case, you know the facts, and no one will accuse you of making a decision based on hearsay.
4. Let your intuition lead
Sometimes, you decide because your gut already knows the facts. Even if you expect to find a different outcome, the truth will turn out to be the same thing. If your intuition is telling you that your partner is going to propose to you soon, and that’s why he’s been acting strange, best believe it.
If you ignore your gut feeling and start cheating on him because he’s been absent, you’ll be making the wrong decision. At the end of the day, what your intuition hinted about is what will happen. Then, you’ll be full of regrets. As such, listening to your intuition and deciding based on what it tells you is a wise decision.
5. Seeking the advice of trusted people
External influences hold powerful sway over you whether you admit it or not. If you happen to be a people person, you will have many people vying for your attention. You will also be relying on the advice of people you consider friends. Who you listen to matters a lot to the decisions you make.
Their influence on your decision-making process might not be too obvious because you’re not observant enough. If you look closely, you’ll notice that the people you’ve been listening to have made a huge impact on the decisions you make. As such, if you’re to make a wrong decision or a right one, you need to vet the people you hang around or listen to.
You will notice certain red flags of inappropriate friends. They will always try to push their choices on you. They will project their needs and problems into every conversation until you subconsciously claim them as yours.
6. Give allowance for mistakes
When you make wrong decisions, you tend to berate yourself. You beat yourself up about it even long after you’ve rectified the situation. Decision-based mistakes are inevitable. Instead of always dwelling on the mistakes you’ve made, pick whatever you can from the experience.
At the beginning of a loving partnership, both parties will fumble just as much as they will get many things right. If you can celebrate the things you got right, you should also be able to see the good in every decision. Whether good or bad, what you do after each outcome is what determines if your love will outlast the challenges the future holds.
Therefore, accept that your decision-making skills won’t always be on point. You’ll be off the mark sometimes, and that’s okay. Dust off the guilt, and try to make better decisions the next time.
7. What or what triggers your decision-making ability/process?
Making bad decisions doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Something or someone triggers decision-making. If your child was heading towards a burning fire, you wouldn’t think twice about rescuing her.
You would snatch her before she reaches the fire. You don’t allow her to enter a burning fire because you want her to learn that it is a wrong choice. That is one trigger that allows you to decide on behalf of an impressionable loved one.
Even if the child cries the whole night, you haven’t made the wrong decision. Similarly, if your boyfriend’s sister is making a choice that will hurt her brother and you do something to stop her, you’ve done the right thing.
You might want to go about it in a better way, just make sure your intentions are pure. As such, you would feel good about yourself even if everyone else, including your boyfriend, doesn’t see it that way.
8. Give it a moment
It is tempting to want to act fast and nip something in the bud before it goes out of hand. However, it is sometimes prudent to exercise patience before making any decision. For example, it might be better to give yourself a moment to process your thoughts before you speak.
Instead of talking on and on about the problem, the best decision will probably be to take a break from it all. Relax, then regroup with possible solutions. Making a spur-of-the-moment decision can be good sometimes, but it’s not always good.
Yes, you must think fast on your feet; it will save you from the stickiest situations. However, a hastily made decision has been the most regretful part of the rest of people’s lives.
Build the ability to differentiate situations. This way, you’ll know which situation requires rapid decision-making, and which one you should consider patiently in the future.
9. Follow the advice you give other people
If you are the kind of person who is always ready with advice on career, business, and relationships, it is easy to go blank when faced with a decision-making moment. It is easy to dish out pieces of advice to other people because you’re removed from the situation.
When you’re in the thick of things, it becomes hard to take your advice. However, that is the simplest way to make a decision sometimes. The answer you seek might be with you all along. You just need to accept that your love problem isn’t different from that of others.
10. Practice empathy
You cannot exist or survive alone. As such, each decision you make will affect other people. If you hope to have people who stand up for you in the future, the decision you make today will determine if they will be there for you.
If you want your partner to treat you with the utmost respect, care and love, you need to practice empathy. Put yourself in his shoes when you ask him to do favors for you at his inconvenience. If you cannot return the same energy he gives you, you’ll make so many wrong choices you’ll regret.
11. Surround yourself with love and positivity
What you allow is what you will continue to experience in relationships. If your friends are toxic people who don’t see anything wrong with making fun of other people, you’ll absorb some of their toxic behaviors. No matter the level of positivity you have, if it doesn’t equal that of your close acquaintances, you’ll find yourself making bad choices most of the time.
Similarly, if your partner only inspires fear and insecurity in you, you won’t make good choices. If love isn’t taking the lead in your love partnership, your decision-making process will always be tainted with fear and toxicity.
If you’re with the right person and he has your best interests at heart, it will be easy to make the right decision most of the time.
Sometimes, everything will fall in place and other times, things might work against you. However, you will know deep down in your heart that you’ve done the right thing. Decision-making isn’t always about right and wrong outcomes, but about going through the best process.
Both parties have equal rights to make choices. The choices of one party affect the other person. It is only right that both parties have a say in every decision to be made.
It can be very difficult to leave someone you love. However, knowing that staying with them will destroy both of you is enough incentive to leave them, no matter how much it hurts.
The conversations become stilted, uncomfortable, and untruthful. One or both individuals start hiding things from each other and something seems to be always lacking.
No one wants to make bad choices, especially when it comes to people they love. Unfortunately, everyone will make wrong decisions when in love. You just need to accept that you’re fallible, which only makes you human. When you accept this, you’ll be more cautious about making the best decisions instead of focusing on not making bad ones.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.