Looking in from the outside, one might think all it takes for a man to fall in love are good sex, food, and having his favorite video game at your place. While we all have our poison of choice, the truth is most men will come back to you if you offer something they enjoy.
Whoever said the way to a man’s heart is through his belly was certainly on to something, and in this context, food can mean any of the above. However, getting to his heart and staying there are two different things.
As you can probably tell by now, labeling your relationship with each other doesn’t even guarantee love. To be completely honest, nothing does. Staying in love may be a choice, but falling in love isn’t, and even the former isn’t something you can force.
However, the good news is that if he’s your boyfriend, you two probably already have a connection that can potentially grow into something more. You may not be able to make him love you per se, but with the following tips, you can both guide him there and keep him happy enough to try.
- 1 17 Ways To Make Your Boyfriend Love You
- 1.1 1. Be an active participant in your relationship
- 1.2 2. Avoid nagging
- 1.3 3. Respect and appreciate him
- 1.4 4. Give him space
- 1.5 5. Trust him
- 1.6 6. Be trustworthy
- 1.7 7. Put him first
- 1.8 8. Bring good vibes to the table
- 1.9 9. Don't just tell him you love him, show him
- 1.10 10. Prioritize his primary love language
- 1.11 11. Looks matter
- 1.12 12. Support his dreams
- 1.13 13. Try not to become a liability to him
- 1.14 14. Don't try to change him
- 1.15 15. Be yourself
- 1.16 16. Love him genuinely
- 1.17 17. Give it time
- 2 FAQs
- 3 The Bottomline
17 Ways To Make Your Boyfriend Love You
1. Be an active participant in your relationship
Whether you are trying to fix a loveless relationship or you just want to boost your partner’s affection towards you, your best bet is to get off the sidelines. Nowadays, relationships no longer work in such a way that someone does all the work while everything that goes on in it practically happens to the other person. Typically the woman.
Do more of the active suggestions, bring new ideas on making your love life better with one another, initiate sex and conversations about it, etc. There’s no harm in sitting back and letting your man figure things out for the two of you but remember they (men) like to feel pampered too.
Your input may not always be 50-50 but at least do your best to let him see that you want the relationship as much as he does.
2. Avoid nagging
If you don’t believe most of the clichés that make up wife and girlfriend jokes, believe this: men do not like a nag. They may appreciate you looking out for them at first and calling them out on their BS, but they don’t want to hear the same thing over and over.
Nagging feels like a physical irritant on men, and if the longer you keep it up, the harder it becomes for him to kiss you on that mouth. Now, since it is almost impossible not to find fault with your boyfriend, especially as things get serious, it falls on you to manage how you express it. And yes, even if the critique is in his best interest.
3. Respect and appreciate him
I want to say a man wants a partner who respects and listens to him, but who doesn’t? Everyone, including your boyfriend, wants to feel relevant, especially to those closest to them, so that’s something you can leverage to gain his love. Respecting your man goes beyond your interaction with him alone, but it’s certainly a good place to start.
Show him you think highly of him by how you talk to and about him. Be that lady who appreciates her S.O for who he is and not just what he does. Recognize his efforts, even little ones, and compliment him often. He may not be perfect, but I’m sure there’s a lot to be thankful for about him, so focus on those.
4. Give him space
In continuation of #3 above, much of holding someone in high regard is showing consideration for their personal needs and respecting their decision. That said, your boyfriend will most likely love you more if you let him spend time doing what he wants without guilting him.
It may seem small, but if you’re always complaining about attention deficit and you suddenly stop, he’d most likely notice. We all need to withdraw into our own ‘man cave’ sometimes to get away from it all. When times like that come around, see it as a chance to take a breather from each other and your relationship and let him come back to you when he misses you.
5. Trust him
One of the reasons most guys tend to avoid falling in love or getting into a relationship is maintaining that autonomy of self. This applies to women, too, of course. Men want the benefits of being a boyfriend, but even those aren’t reason enough for some to hold themselves accountable to one person, I suppose.
The degree may vary, but it would be a mistake to assume your boyfriend won’t ever miss being single. However, from experience, I find that rather than just looking out for signs of doom, showing that you trust your partner can help assuage this relatively common fear.
Mutual respect is an even better restrainer than rules or feelings, and you can’t have that without trust. So, as long as he hasn’t given you a reason to lose your confidence in him, let him know his life doesn’t have to be over just because you’re dating.
6. Be trustworthy
Trust begets trust, love begets love, or however, the saying goes. While loving someone doesn’t automatically mean you can trust them, the reverse can actually be the case. See, like us, men also tend to connect by sharing. But he won’t allow himself to really open up if he doesn’t see you as a trustworthy person.
As far as tips on how to make your boyfriend love you go, making him comfortable enough to get vulnerable with you is a solid one. So, whether that means fixing his betrayed confidence in you or working on building one, it looks like your task has been cut out for you.
7. Put him first
Like everything in life, what you put in relationships has a way of coming back to you. In the same way that we subconsciously mirror the other person’s gestures during a conversation, to get some love back sometimes, you may need to put some out.
Not that there aren’t guys out there who repay affection and consideration with the opposite. But on the off chance that your boyfriend isn’t one of those, show him that his needs and wellbeing take precedence over others in your life.
Men or women, I find we all ultimately crave that sense of importance to someone. That is why one of the most important tips you can take away from this list from here is to prioritize your relationship and your man.
8. Bring good vibes to the table
We often get carried away thinking about the technicalities of having a successful relationship these days that we end up missing out on the sweet part. We may not all enter relationships for the same reasons, but I believe dating is supposed to be fun.
By all means, prepare for the future and secure a significant other to do this life thing with, but it’s also important to remember to be present now. In the moment. Relationships can be stressful but don’t allow that to become your headliner.
Try to let go of all that anxiety, how he may never love you or whatever you’re worried about, and focus on what you have today. Relax around your boyfriend, laugh with him, smile, be kind. Basically, be the one he thinks of when he needs positive energy and watch his heart open up to love as he gravitates more towards you.
9. Don't just tell him you love him, show him
I’m sure you know by now that words are welcome, but they aren’t enough in relationships. Sure, compliments are nice. Words also come in pretty handy if you’re both sexually expressive, and there are tons of other ways you can affirm your lover with them.
However, words are only one side of a coin. Without the other side (which is your acts), they may not have quite the intended effect. So, instead of just saying “I love you” at the end of your conversation, go out of your way to show him that you mean it. The gestures don’t always have to be grand; in fact, it’s what you do in your day-to-day that counts the most.
10. Prioritize his primary love language
Then again, you cannot communicate effectively with someone unless you can understand each other; cue the love languages. Between quality time, physical touch, service acts, words of affirmation, and gifting, most people tend to gravitate toward one more than others.
Even though circumstances can sometimes sway how we prefer to experience love, our primary one tends to remain in the top two at all times. So, if physical touch is your boyfriend’s most preferred, you might want to prioritize hand-holding, random hugs and kissing, back and head rubs, snuggling, massages, etc., over showering him with gifts.
11. Looks matter
Men are visual creatures. Your love can spend a whole day explaining to you how what you look like doesn’t matter, but the truth is he will always prefer you looking your best in the relationship. Now, this doesn’t mean you should be insecure when you’re not wearing makeup or that you should suck your belly in whenever he’s around.
Instead, it should serve as a reminder not to let yourself go so much that you don’t like what you see in the mirror. Your features are great just as they are, just don’t get too lazy to maintain them just because you’re already in a relationship.
12. Support his dreams
Not all the tips on this list will apply to you, of course, but if your boyfriend happens to be passionate about something, anything, then this does. His love language may not be affirming words or acts of service, but trust me when I say every man wants a significant other who believes in him more than anyone else.
It’s okay if you don’t share his interest in that thing, just show him that you’re confident enough in him to know he can pull it off. Besides word of mouth, you can also encourage him by chipping in your support in other ways like physically helping out, being more understanding, giving your time, etc.
13. Try not to become a liability to him
While his gratitude and the precious bonding moments can be fulfilling, you do not owe it to your boyfriend to help him achieve his dreams. Supporting his goals should be your choice because you love him and want to make his life easy, not some obligation that comes with being his girlfriend.
Likewise, you shouldn’t make your boyfriend automatically assume the role of daddy in your life just because you call him that in bed. It’s true that men like to pamper and protect the women they love, but it can quickly get overwhelming when it becomes an expectation rather than a choice.
14. Don't try to change him
If you ask a bunch of guys what they count as signs that their relationship with a lady won’t last, nine out of ten will probably mention this. I can’t say which is the bigger turn-off for men between a lady who nags and one who tries to change them.
You’re only going to make both of you miserable by trying to make him into what he isn’t. Rather, work on loving him just as he is, so much that he wants to be better just to measure up.
15. Be yourself
The signs you should be most wary of are the ones that indicate you’re losing your individuality in a relationship. Also, beware of living a fake life in the name of love. We’re often so quick to take on a faux persona to impress other people because many of us think our real selves won’t be enough.
But think of it this way, even if he does fall for that, how long can you keep it up? To make your boyfriend love you in the way that lasts, show him your real self from the get-go, and don’t stop nurturing that person whether or not your relationship works out.
16. Love him genuinely
Tips can help put you on the right track, increase your visibility to this guy, so to speak, but there’s no guarantee of much else. In the end, all we really have some form of control over is how we feel. So basically, all you can do is love this person, show him that you do, and hope that the feeling is mutual. I wouldn’t worry too much, though, because again, love begets love.
17. Give it time
Ideally, love should come into play before the boyfriend title follows. However, not everyone can tell being in love apart from love itself. Therefore, many people make the mistake of starting a relationship based on the former (the heady feeling) alone instead of the latter (the choice).
If this sounds like you and your boyfriend, the “in love” phase may have faded as it always does. But the fact that you two are still together might mean he’s leaning towards the more reliable type of love. Getting from infatuation to that kind of conviction may take a minute, so give it time, if you can.
Short of pointedly asking if he loves you, to which he can simply say yes or no, there are really no set questions. More than what to ask, it depends on the timing as any random question can unlock the response you want if the moment is right.
There may be no way to be 100% sure your bf really loves you, but if what he feels for you is close, the first sign is that he’ll make you feel it. He’d express his affection both verbally and by his actions. He also wouldn’t mind going out of his way to make your life easier.
This may sound cliché, but the only sure-fire way to make a guy crazy about you is to be crazy about yourself. Invest heavily in you from your appearance to your mental and professional standing, and you’d become irresistible to not just your bf, but men at large.
Be vulnerable with him and let him feel comfortable enough with you to open up as well. Couples tend to bond by sharing secrets and telling each other about parts of themselves that others don’t know. You should also capitalize on your uniqueness instead of suppressing it, men love that.
Judging if a man cares by how a man treats you at one time would be a gross mistake. Instead, note how he acts when things are rosy as well as when they’re not quite as good. If he’s only warm and loving during one and not the other, he may not care so much.
As I like to say, the thing about relationship tips is that they are best taken with a pinch of salt. Again, that everything on the list makes sense doesn’t mean they all apply to you. Sometimes, the mistake we make is trying to fix what isn’t broken. With that said, kindly leave a comment and share the article if you enjoyed reading it.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.