Do you want to know how to make a second marriage work? You’ve stumbled upon the right article because today we are going to talk about how to have a successful second marriage!
When first marriages end, people often think their second marriage will be different, but they don’t do anything to make success guaranteed! In order to have a successful second marriage, you must expect more of yourself! Consider doing self-improvement exercises! Learn what emotional baggage you are carrying around, so you can fix yourself!
After my first marriage, I worked on myself a lot. I read self-help books and really got to know myself. I wanted my second marriage to be a complete success. Of course, it was much harder than I anticipated, but it was still a triumph! Whenever I entered a new relationship, I realized that I needed to change certain things about myself. I didn’t want to repeat my mistakes.
You can achieve success the second time around, too! Just remember that everyone adjusts to new relationships differently. Work to make your blended family get along and support your new spouse even when he or she is wrong! Rise above the rest this time!
- 1 11 Ways To Make A Second Marriage Work Today
- 1.1 1. Don’t compare your current life with that of your ex
- 1.2 2. Focus on the future, not the past
- 1.3 3. Discuss marital expectations
- 1.4 4. Show respect, love, and compassion
- 1.5 5. Communicate effectively
- 1.6 6. Be supportive, understanding, and attentive
- 1.7 7. Be open and vulnerable
- 1.8 8. Help the children adjust
- 1.9 9. Be kind and considerate
- 1.10 10. Don’t talk about your former spouse
- 1.11 11. Consider going to couples therapy
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Sum Up
11 Ways To Make A Second Marriage Work Today
1. Don’t compare your current life with that of your ex
It’s very easy to make comparisons when you enter a new marriage. You think that your new spouse is different from your previous one in certain ways, and you realize the similarities, as well. It’s important that you don’t compare things with your current marriage! It’s unfair and won’t bring your marriage success!
He or she is not the same person and doesn't deserve to be compared to your ex. Remember to treat your spouse in the same way you would like to be treated. So, if your spouse doesn’t compare you to his or her ex, don’t do that once you are married. There’s no reason to make comparisons, even if they are positive ones.
2. Focus on the future, not the past
One way you can do this is by being mindful. Mindfulness is the act of thinking about present things, not the past or future. Yes, you do want to think about what is to come, but you also want to enjoy the present moments. Create memories in your new marriage and with your new family! Take pictures and create scrapbooks!
3. Discuss marital expectations
It’s a good idea to talk to your spouse about expectations. Who will do the laundry and clean the house? Who will tuck the kids into bed each night? Figure out who is best suited for each task or what you will do as a family. Successful marriages ensure that expectations are discussed ahead of time. You want to be fair to one another!
4. Show respect, love, and compassion
It’s important that you show your new marriage these attributes. Marriages that succeed are all about love, which encompasses respect and compassion. Respect means that you honor your spouse and give them due respect at all times. This means treating them fairly. Compassion is care and love; take care of your spouse all the time!
5. Communicate effectively
Make sure the two of you communicate on a regular basis. Listening is a crucial part of creating a successful union with your new spouse. Once you are married, you’ll realize how important communication is. Communication is a two-way street, too. You must both listen and talk about what is going on with you. Don’t forget to be loving when you do it.
6. Be supportive, understanding, and attentive
Doing these things will ensure that you create a lifelong friendship with your spouse. You’ll want to have someone in your life who is willing to listen to what you have to say and show you respect and understanding when things are not perfect. Life throws us curveballs, so you must be ready for anything; having a supportive spouse is a must!
7. Be open and vulnerable
It takes more than just being a friend to have a lifelong soulmate. You’ll want to open yourself up a little bit with this person. They will (hopefully) be in your life forever, so you must share a part of yourself with them. Share your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you can bond more. Marriages with vulnerability see success more often!
8. Help the children adjust
If you have a blended family, you will need to make sure everyone adjusts okay. Don’t just assume that everyone will get along easily. Instead, go to family counseling or have family meetings to make sure everyone is on the same page when it comes to expectations, rules, and boundaries. Love everyone equally, too!
9. Be kind and considerate
While this may go without saying, it’s very important to mention. If you aren’t considerate to your spouse, you cannot achieve marital success. Instead, you will both be unhappy in the marriage and you’ll wish you were with someone else.
Marriages that have kindness and consideration have a much higher chance of success than those who don’t! Encourage one another!
You can also show kindness by being a good friend, doing sweet little things to make your spouse’s life more pleasant, and being a patient partner. Remember that patience isn’t something that is born overnight. Instead, you may have to work to build it up the way you need it to be. Just work on it a little every day, and you’ll succeed!
10. Don’t talk about your former spouse
I will admit that I am in a second marriage, and it is going very well! I think one of the keys to our success is the fact that we don’t speak about our former spouses. We just never mention their names or anything like that. Instead, we focus on what we have with each other. We might occasionally talk about what life used to be like.
I think it’s normal to discuss your past from time to time, but don’t dwell on it. Instead, think about your past as a learning experience. Remember that your ex has probably moved on and doesn’t deserve a place in your head. You need to fill your thoughts with your new spouse. Love him or her as if they were your first and only love ever!
If you are able to look at your spouse as your one and only, you will adore and respect them easily. Don’t focus on things that your previous spouse did or said, even if you are having the same experience all over again. You can learn from the past, but don’t think too much about it. Your new spouse is a different person! Love them for who they are!
11. Consider going to couples therapy
Everyone needs help from time to time. There is no shame in seeking marital counseling. You may find it very beneficial to talk things over with a third party, someone who is objective and can see things from the outside in. A qualified therapist can help you both determine what areas need assistance and where you are rocking it!
It can be quite a positive experience to see a therapist, especially if you can find one in your area that specializes in couples counseling. If they are a specialist in this area, they’ve probably seen hundreds of couples in their career. They’ve probably heard it all before, so anything you discuss is not a crazy thought or experience!
Instead, this counselor can say, “I’ve seen this before.” Then, they will recall how they were able to help the other couple and give you the tools you need to succeed! How great is that? It’s like cheating on a test! You get to use the notes on the other couple to win in this marriage! It’s definitely worth a shot to see a marital counselor!
Many second marriages fail because people expect their new relationship to be better than their previous relationship without any change on their part. About 60% of second marriages end in divorce, which is higher than the rate of first marriages.
There is a high chance of second marriage success if both partners work at it. If you learn something from your first marriage, you can see second marriage success. Just remember that your new partner is not your old partner and accept them for who they really are.
Often, you don’t see second marriage success because people believe their second marriage will be successful without much effort. If your first marriage ended because you were clingy or hated your in-laws, those issues might still be there with your new marriage. Every relationship is different.
Many ex-husbands realize what they did wrong in their past relationships and miss spending time as a family. They want to see their children more often, so they are ready to try new strategies to create a different story with their former spouse. They may try to get back together.
People say that the seventh year of marriage is the hardest because you have settled in your relationship, and all your challenges are evident. However, other people agree that the first year of marriage has the most challenges because you are just getting to know each other.
To Sum Up
How has your family adjusted to a second marriage? Have you found more happiness the second time around? Where do you see the biggest challenges in your relationship? We’d love to hear your side of things when it comes to second marriages! Please leave a comment, and share this post!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.