When you start a relationship, it’s easy. The beginning involves the honeymoon phase. You’re both so full of bliss and in love that minor things are easily brushed to the side. You don’t live together, so major conflicts like finances simply don’t happen. Then, as things get more serious, you’ll have to figure out how to make it through life together.
- 1 How To Make A Relationship Last
- 1.1 1. Practice effective communication
- 1.2 2. Understand that relationships change over time
- 1.3 3. Listen to one another
- 1.4 4. Consider marriage counseling
- 1.5 5. Have maintenance talks
- 1.6 6. Don’t forget to have fun
- 1.7 7. Spend quality time together
- 1.8 8. Maintain open communication with each other
- 1.9 9. Fight fair
- 1.10 10. Forgive each other
- 1.11 11. Respect your partner
- 1.12 12. Support each other’s dreams
- 1.13 13. Don’t put your sex life on the back burner
- 1.14 14. Emotional support is important
- 1.15 15. Surprise each other
- 1.16 16. Make new routines together
- 1.17 17. Give each other space
- 1.18 18. Have an outside support system
- 1.19 19. Constantly create intimacy
- 1.20 20. Be yourself
- 1.21 21. Take responsibility for your own life
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
How To Make A Relationship Last
When you’re in a committed relationship, you want it to last. No one wants to break up or be in a relationship that is full of conflict. Instead of a toxic relationship, it’s important to have a healthy relationship. This is how you make it last for years. These tips will help your relationship be healthier and both partners are happier.
1. Practice effective communication
Young people, in particular, are still learning how to communicate with people and their partners. It’s important that couples learn this together so that their relationship can last.
Every relationship will have its up and downs. Problems are simply unavoidable. It’s how you work through those problems that matter. If you’re still working on communication, check out this website. It’s packed with tips to help you address problems with your partner.
2. Understand that relationships change over time
After so long, the two of you will get comfortable around each other. You’ll fart in front of each other. Both of you will stop holding back portions of yourself and will simply be yourselves.
This is normal in every relationship. However, when one partner thinks that things should always stay like they were during the honeymoon phase, it can cause problems in relationships. It’s important to have realistic expectations.
3. Listen to one another
Most people listen to each other with the intent of responding. You want to make sure that you have the appropriate response. While this works great in the corporate world, it doesn’t in relationships.
Instead, make sure that you practice active listening skills to make a relationship last. When you listen to your partner, try to empathize and understand where they are coming from. This is a great way to truly understand your partner, which is necessary for resolving conflict.
4. Consider marriage counseling
If you and your partner are having a hard time communicating with each other or resolving conflict, consider seeking professional help. This isn’t just for couples that are watching their marriage dissolve before their eyes. You can help prevent problems before they happen when you work with a therapist.
5. Have maintenance talks
When both myself and my boyfriend were working all the time we used to have maintenance talks. We would talk once a week or bi-weekly to simply discuss our relationship. If either of us were unhappy with the relationship, we would bring it up then.
It was very important for both of us to not be defensive and use our communication skills during these talks. We both simply understood that the point was to constantly keep our relationship strong. That helped eliminate a lot of the conflict that some couples have during these talks.
6. Don’t forget to have fun
You might realize that relationships evolve over time, but that doesn’t mean that they have to be serious! Play fight with each other. Tickle your boyfriend. Smile every once in a while. Do things together that both of you enjoy.
7. Spend quality time together
Life tends to happen. When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, it can be a little too easy to put your partner on the back burner so that you can work on getting a promotion or accomplishing another goal. That’s why so many people that are in a long-lasting relationship start to feel disconnected from one another.
You can eliminate this problem by spending time together. Schedule a date night once a week or every other week. Cuddle on the couch and watch the news. More than anything, put your phones away to make sure that time spent together is of great quality. You don’t want your partner to feel like they don’t matter.
8. Maintain open communication with each other
When you’re still learning how to communicate, it can be easy to wander off course. That’s okay. However, in order for your relationship to stay on track, both partners need to stay on the course too.
If you guys aren’t communicating, one partner needs to speak up. Then, both of you work on communication again. It’s hard work to keep at it, but the long-lasting relationship that you’ll have as a result is well worth it.
9. Fight fair
When we’re mad, it’s easy to say things that we don’t mean. Those things can stay with your partner for months or years. I still remember something a boyfriend said to me out of anger seven years ago. It was so hurtful, and I felt that was really how he felt. I forgave him, but I’ve never forgotten it. Once you say words, you can’t take them back.
That’s why the fighting fair is so important. No name-calling. Avoid bringing up past issues or things that are not relevant to the topic at hand. Make up your own rules together to make sure that neither of you has lingering anger or resentment after a fight.
10. Forgive each other
Forgiveness is an important part of every relationship or marriage. None of us are perfect. We will make mistakes, and may accidentally hurt our partner. Being able to truly forgive someone and let go of that hurt is essential to building a strong relationship. Happy couples still fight with each other. However, they know how to move on.
11. Respect your partner
There are a lot of things that we do that are disrespectful. Rolling your eyes at one of your partner’s comments can be very disrespectful. Mocking them is demeaning. When relationships are disrespectful, it doesn’t take long for them to become the definition of toxic.
12. Support each other’s dreams
We all have our own visions and goals. In order for a marriage to be successful, you’re going to need to support them. This doesn’t just apply to you, your partner will also need to support your path in life.
When you truly support him, those extra hours at work won’t bother you as much. When he truly supports you, the long nights spent working on your goals won’t bother him as much. You simply make it work and make sacrifices because you love each other, and want to see each other succeed.
13. Don’t put your sex life on the back burner
When there are problems in your relationship, they will spill over into the bedroom. At the same time, if there are problems in the bedroom, you’ll see it for the rest of your relationship. A happy marriage has a healthy love life.
When there are problems with your life in the bedroom, you both need to have a conversation about it. Communication about this is just as important as it is when it comes to the rest of the relationship.
14. Emotional support is important
When you both rely on the other for emotional support, your relationship is going to last longer. That’s because this naturally prevents either of you from having an emotional affair. You will slowly build trust and instantly feel closer to one another when you are best friends.
15. Surprise each other
Keeping the spark alive in the relationship is important if you want a relationship to last. This can make you both feel the same way that you did in the early days of your relationship. It’s a great way to keep a spark in your relationship to avoid ruts or help you get out of a rut.
16. Make new routines together
When you’re in a relationship, it’s important that both of you give each other the stability that you need. One of you could cook Sunday dinner. You could get together with each other’s families on certain days of the week.
Some couples have a regular date night scheduled for a certain day of the week or month. Family nights are a popular routine among couples that have kids. There are plenty of ways that the two of you can stay connected, and this is a great one.
17. Give each other space
When you’re with someone day in and day out, things can get a bit boring. You start to get on each other’s nerves. This is especially true for some couples that both live and work together.
To avoid this, make sure that you give each other plenty of space. Learn new skills or pick up new hobbies while the two of you are together. Spend time with your friends. Make sure that you go out and enjoy life, even if he’s working late nights.
This can help you make your relationship last in a few different ways. You two will have something to talk about when you spend time together. You’ll be able to develop a support system outside of your relationship. You can also have some space, which is an important part of relationships.
18. Have an outside support system
You do need to rely on your partner for emotional support, but relying only on your partner can be unhealthy. This can easily lead to your partner feeling like you’re a burden, or you worrying that you’re putting too much on them. It can make you feel alone when they are at work late. Even worse, you can wind up being in a codependent relationship.
Instead, you need to have a balance between both relying on your partner and your support system. This will help evenly balance things between both of you. It’s also going to give you someone else to spend time with so your partner has space. Both of these are important to make a relationship last.
19. Constantly create intimacy
When we think of intimacy, most of us think of sex. Intimacy is so much more than that though. Intimacy is when the two of you have a deeper connection than you do with other people. It’s when the two of you have a bond that is so strong it’s almost unbreakable. Having a healthy level of intimacy in a relationship gives you both a loving relationship and a lasting relationship.
One type of intimacy involves sharing thoughts, feelings, and communication. Tell your partner how you feel, and ask them how their day was. Encourage them to do the same thing. Talk to them about how you feel about certain things, whether it’s the relationship or something you saw on the news.
Another type of intimacy is physical intimacy. This involves sex, but it’s not limited to sex. Simple acts of affection like holding hands or cuddling are also physical and can help you build intimacy in a relationship. Give your spouse a quick kiss when you walk through the room.
Intellectual intimacy doesn’t get as much attention as emotional or physical, but it’s still one that you want to have in your relationship. This is when people talk about ideas and opinions with each other. You need to be able to share your thoughts with one another to help your relationship last. If you don’t it can create a gap in relationships that you don’t want.
20. Be yourself
When you’re in new relationships, it’s easy to get lost in the other person. We all know at least one couple whose personalities seem to have merged together to form one personality. They do everything together. Their interests are the same. These couples even have the same opinions on everything.
Becoming enmeshed with someone else is not healthy for you, the other person, or your relationship. That is why it’s important to be yourself in relationships. Keep your identity. Agree to disagree if you have different opinions.
Don’t let your hobbies take a back burner to your new partner. As time goes on, you’ll need all of these things to have a lasting relationship. Remember, if you want to make a relationship last, focus on having a non-toxic relationship.
21. Take responsibility for your own life
It can be easy to put a lot on your partner, but this isn’t something you want to do if you want a relationship that will last for years. Instead, you need to be responsible for your own life, mental health, etc.
This is why most people are single for a period before diving into relationships. When you’re with yourself, you learn about yourself. You learn what makes you happy. More than anything, you learn how to handle things when you’re sad, mad, etc.
After you’re in a relationship for a while, and this is particularly true for those in codependent relationships, you can start expecting the other person to handle your mental health. When you’re sad, you want them to cheer you up.
If you’re feeling happy, you want them to make sure that you stay happy. Your happiness is your responsibility, not anyone else’s, and it’s important to realize that.
This also applies to your life outside of your relationship. If you’re bored, don’t expect your partner to entertain you. Instead, maintain your life outside of your relationship so that you have something to do. Your partner should enhance your happiness or life, not be the center of your world.
The five most critical things in a relationship are intimacy, trust, communication, time together, and honesty. When you have these things, you have what it takes to build a solid foundation for your future. Then, your relationship will last.
Couples that last know that they will have roadblocks, and they have the skills to work through them. They continuously both work and maintain their relationship. Both partners have the same common goals for their relationship and work hard together to reach those goals.
A strong relationship starts with a healthy foundation. You need to start new partnerships by building intimacy, trust, and encouraging honesty. Honest communication can be very beneficial. Using effective communication skills is also essential.
This can be tough after years together, but it’s possible. Surprise your partner with little presents. Send racy text messages randomly. Surprise him with sexy dates. Cook his favorite meal. Those sweet, thoughtful, and occasionally sexy surprises will keep the relationship interesting.
A toxic relationship is one that creates a great source of conflict for both people or one partner. Partners do not support each other, they compete with each other, refuse to communicate, do not work as a team, exhibit toxic behaviors, or are abusive with one another.
When you and your partner want to make your relationship last for years, it’s important to build a strong foundation. Both of you need to work towards the same goals and maintain who you are outside of the relationship. Effective communication is a necessity for having a lasting relationship. What else would you advise people to do in relationships?
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.