How To Live With A Grumpy Husband (15 Ways To Live With A Grumpy Husband)

Love is supposed to be thrilling, happy, joyous, and enjoyable right? So why do some spouses live in a negative bubble of their own? Well, there are many factors that contribute to your spouse’s mood. That doesn’t mean it’s not challenging when your partner shifts from hot to cold in seconds.

It could even make things worse if your husband blames his bad mood on you. Besides, there’s nothing fun about being around an unhappy person. Bad moods are infectious, it doesn’t matter how happy you are. If your husband is in a bad mood, all that anger and grumpiness will surely rub off on anyone around him. 

The truth is, marriage is no easy deal, and a grumpy spouse could make it even worse. However, if you really love your partner and are adamant about fixing things, this is not the time to throw in the towel. Remember, when there’s a will there’s a way. So, here are a few strategies that could help you deal with a grumpy spouse.

15 Ways To Live With A Grumpy Spouse

1. Listen to him

According to experts, a cranky husband could be exhibiting controlling behavior when they get into a mood. Some spouses are either having a bad day, having difficulty adjusting to a new way of life, or dealing with other serious issues. However, some negative ones honestly use the opportunity to be manipulative or to get their way.

That’s why it’s important to talk things out before concluding. Your husband could have valid reasons for being moody, and you can still live happily with such a man if you handle things properly. 

So, let communication be your first resort; keep an open mind when he’s talking and think before you say anything. Sometimes, it’s okay to just be silent and give him a warm, encouraging hug.

2. Try to find out why he is grumpy

This is an extension of the first point, and it’s very important. Diffusing tension in any relationship hinges on how well both couples manage the situation. Rather than tagging your partner as a ‘moody husband,’ it’s time to get to the bottom of things. Was he always like this? Did your spouse’s bad mood just start recently? 

Did he lose someone, a job opportunity, or any other big break he was expecting? You’ll only make things worse by ignoring him. Let him know how special he is to you, and how you want to know what’s bothering him. If he’s still uptight and angry after this, it’s time to try the next step.

3. Try to lighten his mood

When was the last time you were in a bad mood? After brooding and being cranky, didn’t you just crave a pick-me-up? As I mentioned before, your spouse’s mood may be an indication of something he is going through. Besides, the fastest way to get someone out of a mood is through humor. 

You know him best; what are the memories that would make him smile or laugh? Are there any inside jokes he’ll appreciate at this point? Let them out! Your partner’s mood could go on to affect yours, so the sooner you make him feel better, the better. If this is just a phase, you may have to be his ‘beam of light’ more than you’d appreciate. 

Just remember, you’re doing this to save your relationship, and hopefully, with all the positivity going around, your spouse’s mood will improve.

4. Don’t make him feel bad

A bad mood can be demoralizing, and it’s very easy for things to escalate into an argument. At this point, even your body language could aggravate the situation. That’s why it’s best to avoid any triggers that would make him take your response the wrong way. Don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t walk on eggshells around your husband.

Just ensure that you don’t act condescending. Human beings are very defensive, even when they are wrong. So if you don’t talk to him in a constructive way, he’ll just continue to be moody.

5. Try to keep a positive attitude

Your partner’s mood may very well be a reflection of yours. That doesn’t mean you control his emotions or actions, it simply means that a negative mood will bounce off a positive one. On the flip side, if you’re equally grumpy, it would be easy for him to wallow in negativity. 

It doesn’t matter how deep that frown is, keep telling him funny stories and talking to him in a constructive way. You’ll experience smoother sailing in your relationship when you intentionally try to live happily regardless of the negativity around you. That positive attitude may just be the reason why you gradually get happier and more fun in the coming days, weeks, and months. 

So, anytime your spouse feels bad, rather than talking him down, try your best to keep a positive attitude. Positivity is infectious, he won’t be able to resist all that happiness in the long run.

6. Don’t feel like it’s your fault

Your husband’s bad mood matters, that’s a fact. However, it shouldn’t matter so much that you start thinking you’re the reason for his crankiness. Maybe your spouse feels bad because of other serious issues in his life. There’s work, other professional relationships, personal goals and aspirations, and the likes. 

If he refuses to talk about the reason for his moodiness, don’t get upset or feeling down. Try your best to deal with it positively and go about your day normally. You can’t always be the reason for his bad day or unlucky week. So breathe and remember, anger is a choice sometimes, and the fact that your husband is upset may not have anything to do with you.

7. Give him some space

give him some space

Dealing with a grumpy husband is hard; you’re trying to stay positive, be happy and have fun. Then here’s your life partner being the direct opposite, that’s tough. That’s why a bad mood matters because it can easily affect anyone that is around. You don’t have to deal with all that negativity if you don’t want to. 

It’s important to protect your own mental health and stay happy. Plus, sometimes you’ll have smoother sailing when dealing with issues later than when you tackle them head-on. If you’re equally tired or stressed, get some rest, give your husband space and talk to him later.

8. Find out what works

Are you accustomed to either ignoring your husband or complaining when he gets into a mood? Maybe it’s time to try a different tactic. Does telling him funny stories work? Or explaining how him being upset makes you feel? There’s always a better way to approach an issue. 

First of all, always remind your husband of how much you love and treasure him, if that doesn’t make his heart melt, then it’s time to show more actions. Finding out what works is the best way to deal with a grumpy husband. Change your tactic by showering him with love, giving him space, communicating with him, etc, and see how he responds.

9. Think about your actions

Yes, I said that your husband’s mood may not be your fault, however, that’s not always the case. There’s no smoke without fire, which means your husband is just naturally grumpy, or something is making him moody. Before ruling yourself out, it’s important to think about your actions lately. Have you been complaining or distant lately? Has your attitude been a bit different?

Your recent actions may be the reason your husband’s mood is off the charts. As I mentioned before, spouses feed off each other’s energies. That’s why sometimes, a grumpy husband stays that way because of how unconducive the environment at home is. I understand that it’s hard to think you’re the problem, and in fact, you’re not.

It’s better to see yourself as the solution and use a different tactic if you’ve been acting unconventionally. Understand that except your husband is an unreasonable person, there’s certainly a reason for his mood. It’s important to ensure you’re not the reason for his moodiness or contributing to it in any way.

10. Understand that this may be a habit

If you played any role in making him feel upset, the right thing to do would be to apologize. However, if you’ve noticed a pattern, it’s time to understand that this may be a habit. He may be deliberately acting a certain way to get a response from you. On the other hand, he may have gotten used to acting out every time he is upset.

11. Try not to fuel the fire

Your husband may resort to name-calling and all sorts of mean things when he is upset. This is not the time to fuel the fire and go full ninja on him. Calm down, breathe and try not to escalate a negative situation. Rather than answering every insult or abuse with something even worse, try to walk away and talk to him about it when he is calm.

12. Set healthy boundaries

There are some boundaries you must set if you’re going to live a happy life with a moody man. If he’s almost always angry, it’s time to let him know that he shouldn’t bring that negative energy home, especially when you have kids. Let him know that he can sit out, have a cold shower or step out when he feels down so that no one else starts acting out because of his mood. 

Also, let him know what you will not tolerate, like name-calling, hitting, or hurtful insults. Draw the line early in the relationship and stick to them. Remind him about those boundaries anytime he crosses the line. You’ll avoid much hurt by doing so.

13. Don’t let him disrespect you

Grumpiness can lead to disrespect quite fast, that’s why it’s important to create helpful boundaries. If your husband notices that you let him have a gate pass every time he throws a fit, he may take advantage of that. So even though it’s not advisable to escalate his mood by talking back during heated arguments and the like, there are other ways to settle the matter. 

If he disrespects you in any way, set him straight clearly and calmly either on the scene or after when you’re calmer.

14. Pick your battles

pick your battles

If you get yourself riled up every time your husband gets in a mood, you won’t enjoy your marriage. That’s why it’s important to pick your battles so you don’t exhaust yourself. 

Sometimes tell him how being upset makes you feel, or how those silly words or actions affect you. If he says silly words or expresses negative body language, sometimes, the best answer is to walk away.

15. Keep showing him love

Love is always the best solution in every marriage. If you keep expressing and declaring your love for him, there should be a positive change, especially when he feels the same way. Remember, he may be working through something challenging, or having difficulty adjusting to a situation. Regardless of the reason, the best way of diffusing tension is to keep showing love. 


How do I live with a grumpy negative husband?

First of all, it’s important to understand that there are various reasons for your spouse’s bad mood. He may be undergoing too much stress from work or trying to get through other serious issues. That’s why the first step to living with a grumpy husband is understanding the root cause. 

Talk to your husband and try to find out why he’s angry or upset most of the time. In addition, you have to be open-minded; don’t shut him down or act judgmental. If it’s something both of you can work through, give him all the support and encouragement possible. 

How do you live with a difficult husband?

It’s important not to take things personally at this point. Understand that anger is an individual trait or habit. You don’t always have to be the reason your spouse gets in a mood. Just remember to ask him occasionally if he wants to talk or share his feelings. If he doesn’t open up to you, then it’s time to set the necessary boundaries or suggest marriage counseling. 

What are the signs of unhappy marriage?

An unhappy marriage or relationship will always be characterized by some of the following. 

1. Your partner no longer has the ability to make you happy.
2. Less sexual, physical, or mental intimacy.
3. Irritation and agitation.
4. You feel less obliged to tell them things.
5. You no longer have fun or have the urge to go out.
6. You feel alone.
7. You feel uncomfortable or awkward whenever they are around.
8. You start thinking about getting a divorce.

These are just a few of the signs of unhappiness in a relationship or marriage. However, once a relationship becomes toxic, unhappy, or loveless, it’s a feeling that’s hard to miss. 

How do I ignore my negative husband?

It’s important to give a negative husband space. Sometimes, all that anger and negativity is just a way of expressing their frustration or seeking attention the wrong way. If he wants to talk or handle a situation, there are better and more mature ways to do so. 

That’s why it’s important to control your emotions whenever he’s talking negatively. Breathe in and focus on positive thoughts, and let the negative ones out through your breathing. 

What is the #1 cause of divorce?

Infidelity is usually the main reason a couple would decide to call it quits. However, generally, unhappiness, arguing, and similar irreconcilable differences are one of the major reasons for high divorce rates. 

However, if there’s one reason that really takes the cheese, it’s lack of commitment. Most couples dealing with divorce threw in the towel too early, and either one or both of them refused to work things through for personal reasons. 

To Sum Up

Did you enjoy reading through this list? I sure hope you did. Remember, no marriage is easy, so take all these tips into consideration and take life one day at a time. If this article was helpful in any way, kindly share it with friends, and leave a comment below. 

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