It's a very fantastic feeling to be in love with someone that loves you back. Finding love and getting into a relationship could be very hectic, but once things click, it becomes incredible within you and the guy.
When you are in love with someone, you won't want to hear their flaws, but your parents will certainly point them out. Parents have a way of seeing every little thing that is wrong with your boyfriend.
Maybe the first step you plan to take is to pull away from your parents and continue the relationship, but that is not a very good step to avoid the high level of mistrust and drama that could arise from this; it is better to involve your parents.
If your parents do not like your boyfriend, a worry might stir up in you, and then you try to look for ways to make them accept him. It may take time for them to adjust, but it is possible.
Although your parents may sense that the relationship is an unhealthy one, and maybe the first to detect the warning signs before you do. It is essential to know your parent's reasons for not liking your boyfriend before jumping to a conclusion and thinking they are not happy about your love life. In any case, below are 5 ways you can make your parents like your boyfriend.
5 Easy Ways To Get Your Parents To Like Your Boyfriend Again
1. Talk with your parents about your partner
It would be best if you had a conversation with your parents about your boyfriend when the relationship starts getting serious, instead of hiding the fact that you are already dating away from them.
Tell them how long the relationship has been and answer questions about him; if they ask, you may be scared that they won't accept him. Tell them anyway, do not formulate stories or lie about who he is, just so they can accept him, be honest.
Just be calm and go about it politely; explain to them how he is right for you and the things you like about him. You could give them reasons why you think you are compatible with each other and make them understand that your relationship with him will not affect your studies, work, or even your personal life.
Share your joy and great memories about your partner with your mom. But do not tell her everything that goes on. It's your relationship, and a guy would love it if your private life remains between you and him and get her reaction. Remember that closure and privacy are essential in a relationship.
If your parents find out something negative about your boyfriend that correlates with your concerns and suspicions, do not overlook it; make sure to reflect on it. Also, keep an open eye and mind. Parents are not always wrong, and they want the best for us, most times.
2. Do not be defensive immediately
You may want to shout some sense into your parents out of anger or scream your point into their heads, but that’s not a wise way to go about this kind of situation.
The more aggressive and disrespectful you act, the less chance there is of them approving that relationship. Please do not put them down in any way or directly say their opinion is wrong, let them know that you know and understand their concerns. They need to support you more than judge.
Even if you are angry, do not react as such. Instead of displaying anger, show sadness, just put up a sad and disappointed face. Tell them you are really sad, not angry. Try to connect with them calmly and maturely, maintain closeness, and keep pressing them with the issue, it may take a long time, but you will surely win them over.
At the end of the day, you are matured and grown, and your own judgments are important. You have the freedom to choose a partner, so it’s not a crime that you did. As much as you are not aggressive to them, do not be hard on yourself either.
Take things one step at a time. Your parents will come to terms with your decision, and they could end up loving your boyfriend. But this can only happen when you handle the situation very well.
3. Listen to them
Knowing that your parents don't like your boyfriend is tough; it's even more challenging if they liked and trusted him before and lost that trust. But do not be too sentimental here; listen to them and try to see things from their perspective. Let them be clear on why they think he is not good for you.
There might just be so much wisdom in what your parents are saying, so listen to them and try to understand their concerns. Your father and mother can't be wrong simultaneously, so if they both come with the same perspective, then listen to them.
You already know that your parents love you and want to protect you from whatever will cause you pain and regrets. Your parents mean well to you. If that relationship is healthy for you, your happiness and satisfaction will radiate, and your parents will adjust. As much as you listen to them, they should not have a full influence on your relationship.
4. Introduce him to them
Let them meet him and get to know him for themselves; they may just love him and apologize for prejudging him. Sometimes, you judge a book by its cover, but when you open it and start to read through, you regret that you weren't patient enough to see what's inside before you judge.
Before your boyfriend meets your parents, make sure to prepare him about their expectations and tell him how to behave and speak in front of them. Also, tell him some likely questions they will ask and how he should respond to the questions.
Assure him, let him know how to behave to win your parents over. He should avoid being sarcastic or rude, and he should address them with the proper formal name that they like to be called.
Make sure the setting is comfortable, and it's a no-pressure zone; your partner, mom, or dad shouldn't feel pressured in any way. You can also include your partner in different family activities, mostly if you notice his interest is similar to your parents'.
That way, they may automatically start accepting him into your family even without realizing it. If either your parents or partner physically or emotionally abuses you, later on, make sure you talk to an advocate or relationship counselor about it. Don't ever let someone abuse you because you made the wrong or right choice.
5. Do not take sides
Your parents not accepting your partner can make the relationship hard and even strain your house activities, your work, school life, and even your personal life in general.
You may feel that you have to choose one side over the other or may consider eloping with your boyfriend and abandoning your parents or staying with your parents and breaking up with your boyfriend, but it doesn't have to go that way.
It doesn't matter who is right or wrong; you love each and every one of them, so the focus should be reconstructing each side's ideas about each other and bringing them to an understanding where they could accept each other.
Always remind your parents of the respect and love you feel for them and let them know that you are not trying to hurt or disrespect them with your choice of partner. Ask them to respect your decision and just believe in you; let the respect be mutual.
You can even speak to your mother privately. Let her know that you are emotionally mature and ready for a relationship, and your choice of partner is valid. You are responsible enough to handle whatever plays out, show you take responsibility for your choice. This could help too.
Yes, it can, but this comes with a lot of stress, and I’m sure it is something you don’t want to go through. You both have to make firm decisions to stand by each other no matter the family pressure because this can lead to a great deviation between you and your parents.
Try paying more attention to little things that concern him. Also, stop nagging, have a conversation with him, dress your best, top up your game, go out with your friends, have fun, do something romantic and sweet for him, but don't go overboard.
When any one of your parents is very possessive, try to always win in everything like you compete. They want everything to be about them and nothing about you; they don't care how you feel. Knowing a toxic parent isn't so easy because they still act caring like other parents.
Choosing who should come first can be very difficult. But at the same time, you need to know that you made vows to be with that person to stand by him through thick and thin. So he should be your priority, and your parents are meant to understand that this is how things should work after marriage.
Yes, he should put his wife first after God, he must be able to stand by her no matter what is going on. It is vital to be with someone who knows the values of having a wife and putting her first; you don't want to be with someone who makes you his second option.
I hope you found this article helpful. As I said earlier, your parents only want what is right for you, and they never want to cause you any form of problem, so make sure you weigh the pros and cons before making a final decision on what to do. Let me know what you think, and please don't forget to share this article with others.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.