Irrespective of what stage of life you find yourself in, being stuck in the friendzone is a pain, and sometimes, it hurts more than an actual breakup. The great thing is, you are not alone, and many of us have been down this path.
It usually starts with the typical story of a boy who meets a girl, they remain friends and spend a lot of time together, and without a clue, one person starts to want a little bit more from the friendship.
As friends, you probably share some secrets, have been through tough times together, and somehow managed to stick with each other through the highs and lows. You would naturally expect him to see how special your bond is and reciprocate your feelings for him. Unfortunately, he is without a clue about your feelings or probably doesn’t feel the same way.
It sucks to be the person whose heart is yearning for more, yet you cannot pull away because you enjoy the friendship you share. Well, don’t give up just yet. Indeed, many successful relationships started as friendships, and yours might be one of them.
In this article, I will provide you with 17 practical tips on how to get out of the friend zone and win the heart of the man you love.
- 1 17 Ways To Get Out Of The Friend Zone
- 1.1 1. Accept That The Dynamics Of Your Friendship Will Change
- 1.2 2. Build Your Confidence
- 1.3 3. Keep An Open Mind
- 1.4 4. Flirt With Him And Pay Attention To His Reactions
- 1.5 5. Learn To Separate Your Fantasy From Reality
- 1.6 6. Put Effort Into Your Looks
- 1.7 7. Ask For His Help
- 1.8 8. Practice Patience
- 1.9 9. Take A Break
- 1.10 10. Be Mysterious
- 1.11 11. Date Other Guys And Talk About It
- 1.12 12. Have More In-Depth Conversations
- 1.13 13. Tell Him How You Feel
- 1.14 14. Roleplay As His Girlfriend
- 1.15 15. Ask Him Out
- 1.16 16. Get Close To His Family And Friends
- 1.17 17. Set Boundaries
- 2 FAQs
- 3 The Bottomline
17 Ways To Get Out Of The Friend Zone
1. Accept That The Dynamics Of Your Friendship Will Change
Admitting to your crush that you would like to be more than friends can strengthen or mar your friendship. However, if you feel you can no longer keep your feelings to yourself and you will like to leave the friend zone, you must first understand that things may change. There are two possible ways this situation might end up.
First, your friend might admit that he feels the same way, and the friend zone will pave the way for a relationship. The second scenario is when they do not feel the same way, and your friend starts acting awkward around you. Either way, you must prepare for the change.
2. Build Your Confidence
One likely reason you are still in the friend zone is that you lack the confidence to express how you truly feel. You probably think less of yourself and believe that you are undeserving of your friend’s affections. So you would rather wait in the dark hoping your best friend will someday see you as a romantic partner instead of putting yourself out there. Well, get rid of that type of thinking if you want to make it out of the friend zone.
If you are serious about leaving the friend zone, you will need to focus on self-improvement. Force yourself to believe that you are deserving of your heart’s desires, and you are the prize. Once you start to think highly of yourself, others will see it, too, including the object of your affection, and he will find your new positive energy attractive.
3. Keep An Open Mind
Even though we all hope for the best, keeping an open mind in situations like this is also crucial. The outcome of expressing your feelings is almost unpredictable, so you should hope for the best and prepare for the worst – a rejection. If you think he does not feel the same way and would instead remain friends afterward, you need to accept the rejection gracefully.
Not everyone understands the value of what they have around them, and maybe someday he will see what he lost. But until then, you must respect his wish and quit the chase, so you don’t come off as a stalker. After all, the friend zone is not the worst zone to be banished to.
4. Flirt With Him And Pay Attention To His Reactions
As friends, there are unspoken boundaries that you would dare not cross, but now that you want more, it’s time to be more daring. Hold his stares for a little longer, maintain eye contact, break the touch barrier by holding his hand when watching a movie, or crossing the road. Through all this, don’t forget to pay close attention to his reactions.
They say actions speak louder than words, so even if you have not said anything about your feelings, he will have an idea about how you feel. His reactions should also give you an insight into how he thinks about you and if the idea of a relationship will be a welcomed thought. In some cases, this is the best way to escape the friend zone.
5. Learn To Separate Your Fantasy From Reality
While reading meaning into your friend’s actions can give you hints about his true feelings, they can also be misleading. So, try not to read too deeply into the things he does. Some people are naturally touchy, and they see nothing more to their actions.
So, you’d be pushing it to assume that just because he playfully hugs you from the back one day he likes you and is open to having a relationship with you. Learn to sit back and separate your fantasy from reality periodically. Make sure that whatever assumptions you are making are not amplified by your emotions. Imaginary feelings are not worth losing a friend over.
6. Put Effort Into Your Looks
Often when we are around friends of the opposite sex, it is easy to get comfortable and forget to look our best. Failure to make the extra effort to look good will make him push you further into the friend zone. For one, you need to step up your dressing, then pay attention to your hair, makeup, and nails. That will make him see you as girlfriend material.
7. Ask For His Help
Guys are natural protectors, and a chunk of their ego relies on the value they offer to the people in their lives. In essence, they want to feel needed. So for one second, let go of your miss independence title and allow him to be your knight in shining armor. Perhaps you have something broken in your apartment that you know he can fix, call him. By asking for his help, you will trigger the jeep instinct within him, and it will offer you more time to be around him.
8. Practice Patience
I understand that our emotions can sometimes be overwhelming, and the only thing on your mind is your crush. However, learn to take things slow. An attempt to rush will make you look needy, and it will put him under unwelcome pressure.
Remember, the goal is to fall in love with you naturally and feel like the relationship was his idea. So take your time with your advances and try not to act on every emotion.
9. Take A Break
Ever heard the saying, you don’t know what you have until you lose it? Well, now is the time to use this statement as a strategy. So you have dropped subtle hints and tried all you can to catch his attention; now is the time to pause and take a break. Withdraw from him and avoid his calls. That way, you will give him room to miss you and value what you share. Who knows this may be the nudge he needs to make it an official relationship.
10. Be Mysterious
It is not news that we yearn to be around people we do not understand. Mystery intrigues the human mind, and you should aim for that if you want to get out of the friend zone. Try not to reveal too much of yourself to the other person, and keep some things private. The aim is to have him wondering what you are all about, and the only way to know is by getting close to you.
11. Date Other Guys And Talk About It
What better way to tease a guy than playing the jealousy card? It’s time to get yourself back into the dating game, and this time, you will be kissing and telling. Okay, maybe not kiss, but you will have to let him know that you are seeing another person.
However, you have to be cautious when taking this approach as you do not want him to pull away completely. Instead, the aim is to have him see you as someone people want to be with and desire to have you.
12. Have More In-Depth Conversations
Enough with the daily ramble about your day or how your cat survived a fall. It’s time to talk about more meaningful matters. You will need to have conversations that spark emotional intimacy and make him feel like you share similar experiences and perceptions of life.
13. Tell Him How You Feel
At this point, it may seem like all the subtle signs and strategies aren’t getting the necessary reaction from him, yet the heart still wants what it wants. Maybe you should try honesty. Tell him how you feel and let him know that you would like to be more than friends. Once again, remember to keep an open mind through this process so you can make peace with his decision.
14. Roleplay As His Girlfriend
It’s time to step up your role from a mere friend to a girlfriend. Sometimes it takes him seeing you act as a girlfriend to appreciate what you share. You can play the role of a girlfriend by ensuring your hangouts are well-organized dates. Show up looking good and act like you would if you were his girlfriend.
15. Ask Him Out
Similar to telling him how you feel, go the extra mile and ask him out. I understand if you feel nervous about doing this but remember, you deserve some love, so why not take a chance on this. The worst thé could happen is a rejection, and if that’s the case, you now know your fate, and you can move on.
16. Get Close To His Family And Friends
Not everyone will accept this, but the truth is, we are all in some way or the other influenced by the opinions of our friends and family. You can use this bit of information to your advantage by getting close to his inner circle and discreetly revealing how you feel about him. Soon, they will be nodding him in your direction.
17. Set Boundaries
Friend zoning a person doesn’t just happen overnight. It starts from the little things like wearing joggers for a hangout or accepting behavior he would normally not exhibit in the presence of a girl he likes. These things are what got you in the friend zone in the first place. So if you want to get out, you need to create new subtle boundaries.
You first have to evaluate your feelings and confirm that what you feel is real. The next step is to take charge of the situation and let him know your feelings for him. An honest and open conversation is the best way to understand how he truly feels about you.
Having feelings for a female friend can be confusing, However, if you are determined to get out of the friend zone, you can try breaking the touch barrier by allowing your hands to linger and giving her subtle signs to see if she feels the same way.
If you want to text your way out of the friend zone, you have to quit texting him the way you usually do it. For instance, if he messages you about having a bad date, instead of feeling bad for him and sending a mere sorry, you can reply by saying, “Well, you should have hung out with me.” That way, he gets the idea that you would like to be on a date with him.
Absolutely. The best kind of love stories are those that started as friendships. So, if you have a crush on your friend, don’t be too quick to throw in the towel and give up on the possibility of a romance. Your love story might be around the corner.
An easy way to know that you are friend-zoned is that he always invites you as a third wheel to events. Also., you are his go-to buddy, and he does not hesitate to let you know how wonderful you are as a ‘friend’. To top it all off, he does not mind setting you up with other people because he is not romantically attracted to you.
The friend zone is a tough spot to be in as you sometimes have to choose between following your heart or wallowing in pain as you watch your crush build a relationship with someone else. With that in mind, I hope you enjoyed reading this article and picked out points to help you get out of the friend zone. Don’t forget to share with your friends and leave a comment behind.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.