If you want to know how to get along with your mother-in-law, this article is perfect for you. We’ll be going over 15 ways you can get along better with your mother-in-law and build a great relationship going forward.
Remember, raising kids is tough work, and she may be a little jealous of the great relationship you have with her son, your husband. Once you got married and had children, you extended your family to include your mother-in-law, so make sure you are working on relationships like that in a productive and effective manner.
There is no doubt that in-laws can be tough to deal with, especially if they insist on being a part of their son’s life in every way possible. As a daughter-in-law, how can you best guild a positive relationship with people who don’t treat you like family? It’s a tough situation to be in!!
We’ll cover some top tips to make this work today!
- 1 How To Improve The Relationship With Your Mother-in-law
- 1.1 1. Be patient and understanding
- 1.2 2. Watch what you share
- 1.3 3. Spend quality time having fun together
- 1.4 4. Listen to her
- 1.5 5. Be emotionally intelligent
- 1.6 6. Show her respect
- 1.7 7. Be honest
- 1.8 8. Let her get to know you
- 1.9 9. Be loyal to her son
- 1.10 10. Learn more about her passions
- 1.11 11. Compliment her
- 1.12 12. Show you care for her son and grandchildren
- 1.13 13. Find common ground
- 1.14 14. Tell her how much you appreciate her
- 1.15 15. Act like a lady
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
How To Improve The Relationship With Your Mother-in-law
1. Be patient and understanding
When trying to get along with your mother-in-law, you need to practice patience and empathy. Try to imagine you were her and how you would want someone to treat you. Assume she feels the same way and wants you to treat her with patience and understanding. If you butt heads with her, take a step back and reevaluate things.
One of the keys to being patient and understanding is empathy and having less stress. If you are always busy with your children or have a mother-in-law who is always butting her head in your marriage, you may be very stressed out. Figure out ways to be less stressed. Hire a babysitter to watch the children and set boundaries with the in-laws.
As a parent, you know the importance of being patient. You must give your children attention, but you must also take care of yourself. If you don’t, you are likely to snap and burst into tears or have a fit of rage because of something small. Consider visiting a spa or salon to get some beauty treatments so that you can relax!
I think it’s good to have a close relationship with your mother-in-law, but you might be careful what you talk about in regard to your marriage. For example, you might not want to mention how much money you make or the details of your sex life. Those might be uncomfortable topics for your mother-in-law to discuss with you.
Likewise, if you mention old relationships, your mother-in-law is likely to think you are comparing her son to your past relationships. You don’t want her thinking you have a bad marriage or anything. You can share a lot with your mother-in-law; just remember that she will remember the details of what you share and may talk to your husband.
3. Spend quality time having fun together
Go to the gym together, volunteer at an animal shelter as a team, or hit the beauty salon for a full day of spa treatments. You can surely find something fun to do with your mother-in-law! Just use your imagination when you come up with something you think she might enjoy doing.
4. Listen to her
If you don’t pay attention when your mother-in-law talks to you, she may think you are rude and selfish. You don’t want that, so go ahead and give her your full attention when she shares. If you want to build a great relationship, you need to treat her in the ways that you would want to be treated. So, when she decides to talk, listen intently!
5. Be emotionally intelligent
Emotional intelligence goes hand-in-hand with listening. Being emotionally intelligent means that you know how to recognize and control your own emotions, and you can spot the emotions in others and empathize accordingly. If you are wanting to build an awesome bond with your mother-in-law, be empathetic.
Look at the world through her eyes. What would you think of your daughter-in-law if you were in her shoes??
6. Show her respect
There’s nearly nothing more important than showing respect to your in-laws. You want them to feel welcome in your home and to know that you will listen and care when they talk. Show your manners and be a genuine person; say please and thank you. Put your napkin in your lap and ask to be excused from the table when you need to go.
7. Be honest
If you introduce lies in the relationship you have with your mother-in-law, you will regret it. They have a funny way of finding things out, and you want to make sure that they do not catch you in a blatant lie of some kind. Nothing could be worse than trying to explain why you didn’t want to tell the truth, so just be honest with her about what you talk about.
8. Let her get to know you
Show your roots, and your background, and explain who you are. Talk about your family and how you grew up. You want your mother-in-law to see you as a real person with real problems, not someone she doesn’t know at all. Talk about your history, where you are from, and what it was like for you when you were growing up. She’ll understand!
9. Be loyal to her son
If you want a good relationship with your mother-in-law, don’t break her son’s heart. As a mother, she is probably very protective of her son. Treat him right, so there is nothing to be upset over. Show that you are a strong woman who puts her man first. She will admire and adore you once she learns how you make her boy happy.
10. Learn more about her passions
My mother-in-law is an artist, so I learned about her passion when we first met. Once I discovered this, I talked to her about her painting process, her business, and how she gets the job done. I even discovered what inspires her to paint, but these things didn’t come naturally. I had to ask her questions and learn all about her passion.
11. Compliment her
Everyone loves to be told how great they are. If you are ever in doubt about how to treat your husband’s mother, just compliment her. Tell her what a great mother she was to your husband and how great he turned out. That works like a charm every time. Plus, if you married the guy, you probably do think he’s pretty awesome.
That means that telling her that she is a great mother is not much of a stretch because he turned out perfect! I wouldn’t recommend complaining about his negative traits to his mother as she will definitely want to defend him. Instead, you can tell her what a great grandmother she is and how much you appreciate having her in your life.
12. Show you care for her son and grandchildren
Be an awesome wife! Treat your husband well! His mother will appreciate this and know that you treat him well behind closed doors. This means that you work hard to make sure he is happy. How can you be a great wife? There are many ways! For one thing, you can make sure he is happy when it comes to sexual relations. Treat him well.
Second, put your phone up and give him the attention he wants and deserves. You don’t always have to be on that thing, do you? Instead, listen well and show him you care about what he is saying, even if you don’t. Find a way to make the uninteresting interesting. Ask him questions when he talks to support his side of things.
A final way you can be a great wife is to be very supportive of his goals, dreams, and decisions. If he wants to do something fun with his friends, what’s stopping him? You? Don’t stand in the way of him having a great time with the guys. If he becomes passionate about a new sport, learn a little something about it to show you care!
13. Find common ground
There is surely something that you have in common with your mother-in-law. You may find it hard to break the surface and discover what that is, but over time, you will find things that the two of you have in common.
14. Tell her how much you appreciate her
If your mother-in-law babysits or helps clean your house while you are gone, be sure to show your appreciation. Say thank you and tell her that you would not know what to do without her. Show her that she is valued in your life and that you always want her to be a part of it. If your in-laws help you out financially, send them a thank-you note!
15. Act like a lady
Your mother-in-law probably wants to know that her boy wed the best girl that he could. She wants to know that you are of the highest quality. Pinpoint the areas where you excel. What do you do better than anyone else? Are you a famed chef? Do you have many educational degrees under your belt? It’s okay to brag about yourself a little bit.
Show that you are the best woman for your man. Show that he couldn’t have found a better match. Be sure to act like a lady in front of your mother-in-law. Have manners and show them off. There’s no reason to burp, curse, or act un-lady-like in front of her. You want her to know that you are quality goods.
She wants to feel reassurance that her boy found the best match for him, so show her that! Talk about what you have in common with your hubby. Discuss how well he treats you and vice versa. It’s important that she knows he is being treated well and is happy in his marriage and life.
Make sure you stay true to who you are, but you can always invite her over to your house for some heart-to-heart conversation about your relationship. Show her respect and honor the fact that she is part of your children’s grandparents and always will be.
If you don’t have a special place in your heart for your mother-in-law, you should try to get along with her anyway. Just minimize the amount of time you spend with one another. If she comes to your house, make sure she follows your rules and boundaries.
When you are having difficulty with your family, it is best to talk to a professional about the issues you are having. There are many family counselors out there who can help you learn how to get along better and resolve any conflict you are having.
Mothers-in-law can be jealous because you are in the middle of their relationship with their son. You have entered into a marriage with your husband, her child, and you probably spend more time with your husband than she does now that you are married. She may miss him!
Respect their rules and boundaries when you are around family. This will lead to greater peace than if you were to assume that your mother-in-law knew exactly what you were thinking and feeling. Be honest and show respect as you build a relationship with your mother-in-law.
What is your relationship with your mother-in-law like? What does your husband think of his mom? How does that affect the relationship you have with your mother-in-law? We’d love to hear all about it. Leave comments below, and share this post on social media!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.