As it is already known, communication is vital when it comes to being in a relationship. It’s a good thing to be with the man you love, but it becomes a bit frustrating when your man doesn’t express his feelings.
Not everyone can communicate their feelings, and this includes both men and women. But the truth is, men are quite different from women. So their way of expressing themselves is different. It could be annoying to date someone you love, but not sure if it is reciprocated or not.
And it could be energy and time-consuming to get men to open up. This is one of the complaints women have in their relationships—their man’s inability to share their feelings and be transparent with their emotions.
This is why you both have to share each other’s thoughts, feelings, and life goals if you need to have an easy-going relationship. It may not be as easy as it sounds, especially for men. This is because our society believes men should be tough, making them sound vulnerable when they express their emotions freely.
So it’s up to you to try to build your relationship the way you want it to be. How do you do this? It’s not rocket science. Read on to know 17 ways you can get a guy to express his feelings.
- 1 17 Ways To Get A Guy To Express His Feelings
- 1.1 1. Be as open as you can with him
- 1.2 2. Talk to him about it
- 1.3 3. Listen to his reasons for not opening up
- 1.4 4. Don’t force things
- 1.5 5. Keep showing him love
- 1.6 6. Give him some time to correct it
- 1.7 7. Ask him specific questions
- 1.8 8. Engage him in conversations whenever you can
- 1.9 9. Study his personality
- 1.10 10. Don’t be silent when he is
- 1.11 11. Appreciate his strengths
- 1.12 12. Talk when you engage him in other activities
- 1.13 13. Respect his decision if he doesn’t want to talk
- 1.14 14. Learn and understand his love language
- 1.15 15. Try handling it from his side
- 1.16 16. Have easy and natural conversations
- 1.17 17. Suggest ways he can express his feelings
- 2 FAQs
- 3 Conclusion
17 Ways To Get A Guy To Express His Feelings
1. Be as open as you can with him
Your partner may be uptight with you because you may be doing the same thing to him too. You have to be willing to open up to him. So start by showing a good example. Form a habit of expressing yourself by saying out your thoughts and feeling to him, and he may be willing to do it too.
Everyone has fears of their partner leaving them if they do certain things, but what makes a man relaxed enough to share how he feels with you is when you’re vulnerable with him. It may take some time to achieve it or it may not. But to receive, you have to give.
2. Talk to him about it
Talk to your partner about his inability to share his feelings. He may not know it until you say it. Sometimes men may want to share things but may feel they’re minor. So let him know how you feel when he doesn’t communicate. Tell him how his silence gets to you and how much you would like things to improve between both of you.
Unlike women, men feel safer when their partners subtly persuade them. Don’t argue about it; sort it out amicably. Violence doesn’t improve things; it makes them worse and he needs to know how you feel about it.
3. Listen to his reasons for not opening up
Listening helps to unlock the vulnerability of some men. A guy always has reasons for everything he does, no matter how little it may be. So take some time out to listen to him without defending yourself or forcing him to admit anything. Pay attention to his point of view to understand why he wouldn’t let his emotions out.
During this process, you never know, he may want to share some of his feelings because it may be a good time to get many toxic things out of his system. So listen to him. Don’t forget it’s both of you in the relationship and not you alone.
4. Don’t force things
Let your relationship flow naturally. To get a guy to talk or express his feelings, you should learn to take things easy on him. It’s not a war front, and you don’t want to cause another problem, so try to sort things out without being forceful.
You may have a conversation if you feel comfortable about it, or you may throw it in there whenever you’re together; he’s in a happy mood and can take any discussion that has to do with that topic. But try to make it as peaceful and friendly as possible. You could even plead with him if you feel it’s necessary. It does the magic.
5. Keep showing him love
Dating a guy means you’re ready to love him with his strengths and weaknesses. When you figure out a particular flaw with your partner, it doesn’t mean it should affect the way you care for him.
Surprise him when you want to, and buy him gifts like you would whenever you feel the need to do that. If he’s used to getting your help with a project or getting something done, continue with it. Giving more love in your relationship would encourage your man to open up on his feelings whether you talk to him about it or not.
6. Give him some time to correct it
According to relationship experts, unlike women, men take time to learn how to express their feelings. Of course, they listen to complaints, but they need time and help to process and practice frequently to be better at it. Sometimes, they may not acknowledge how they feel when women complain, but they try to put in some effort to improve.
So your partner may need you to give him time to get to the point where you want him to be. Exercise a little bit of patience, move your attention to something else, and let him have time to find a comfortable way to express his feelings.
7. Ask him specific questions
Questions help to clarify things, whether it has to do with understanding a man or not. Sometimes men have the words in their head but don’t know how to say them. But, if you ask specific questions, they could give you straightforward answers. Some of them don’t know how to start but won’t hide anything if you ask.
So try asking your man questions about the things you need to know about him that are unclear to you. Or, you could ask questions about anything you need answers to, and it may bring up a conversation that would be good for your relationship as a whole.
8. Engage him in conversations whenever you can
One way to encourage a man to open up his feelings is to engage him in a conversation whenever you get the chance to do so. It could be a random topic, specifically the ones he would like to talk about without so much stress. It’s one of the ways to get a guy to talk about many piled-up things.
A simple conversation could lead to different fruitful discussions that could spill out many bottled-up emotions. So, start up any conversation, preferably one with a great sense of humor, to lighten the atmosphere. Remember, it’s always better to take things slow.
9. Study his personality
Getting to know your partner’s likes and dislikes could help your relationship grow and go a long way. It’s advisable to know a guy’s personality while dating him to understand how to live your life with him. Does he like soccer? Is he an introvert? Would he prefer to hang out alone or with friends?
You need to observe him and consider these things to be able to survive with him. It’s not possible to know a man when you haven’t learned his likes and dislikes, and it could be tough for him to open and share his feelings with you.
10. Don’t be silent when he is
Many people believe giving your partner the silent treatment works for everything. Don’t get this wrong, it works for some things, but it doesn’t fit every context. When it comes to a situation like this, ignoring a guy is not the best way to approach things, it’s a bigger red flag for him to conceal his feelings more from you.
Ask him to help you accomplish something, even though you can do it yourself. Ignoring him would make him feel unsafe to express himself. You can give him space if he requests it, but don’t intentionally ignore him. It will make things worse.
11. Appreciate his strengths
Men don’t like people to judge them so take a break from venting about their flaws. Appreciate his strengths more. Tell him how much you admire the things he does well. Ask him questions on how he achieves them, and ask if you can be a part. It would boost his ego and improve his communication skills whenever you both talk.
A man loves it when you show him you know and appreciate the good things he does. So observe the things he knows how to do best and give him compliments for his achievements. It’s a logical way to get them talking and eventually express their feelings.
12. Talk when you engage him in other activities
Not every guy is used to face-to-face discussions. Some of them like to get involved in fun activities while having a conversation. When you talk to a guy while you engage him in different activities, he gets comfortable sharing more of his thoughts and emotions with words.
This is because he has undivided attention, and so nothing seems so serious. Sometimes, you could read him from his body language or facial expression if he dislikes a particular thing. So you could go bowling, jogging, strolling, or fishing to take both of your minds off the tensed conversation, but at the same time, allow him to express his feelings however he can.
13. Respect his decision if he doesn’t want to talk
You don’t have to talk about things all the time. Sometimes you have to learn how to be okay with silence. As a couple, it’s necessary to give each other space to reflect on your own needs. To have a smooth relationship and coexist in harmony, you should learn to respect your partner’s space.
Find something else to do to spend some time away from him for a few moments. If you feel the need to talk about his inability to tell you how he feels, and he doesn’t want to talk about it, or he acts like you’re bothering him, just let it be for a while.
14. Learn and understand his love language
Knowing and understanding your partner’s love language could help you in the process of making him open up about his emotions. There are many ways you could do this. If you’re a good observer, you could study his body language when it comes to expressing his care for you.
Or, if he’s okay with it, you both could try taking compatibility quizzes that have to do with love languages. Learning your man’s ‘language’ and knowing how to speak it could go a long way in guiding you on how to make him open up. It’s a gradual process so take your time.
15. Try handling it from his side
‘From his side’ means you should try to approach things indirectly. How do you do this? You could share it as something that happened to your friend or a story you heard on the news or read online. Talk about all of it from the third-person perspective and ask how he’d handle such a situation if he were in those shoes.
He may say many things, and most of his thoughts could be from his personal feeling, which is why you should listen carefully. Of course, he may hold onto some things, but you’d get to learn a few things from his response.
16. Have easy and natural conversations
The trick sometimes is trying to make everything seem natural in your relationship. When you start a conversation with him, make it flow as easily and naturally as you can. It doesn’t mean you both should be tense because of a few flaws you both have.
A simple conversation could start with complimenting his outfit, appreciating his effort in the house chores, or discussing your meal plan for the day. You could remind him about a past funny event that you both found funny or make fun of your immediate environment if anything interesting is happening at the moment.
17. Suggest ways he can express his feelings
You can also get a guy to talk to you and say how he feels by telling him the different ways he can do that. Because sometimes, some men get scared of hurting a woman while expressing how they feel. Your partner could be in the same situation of trying not to make you feel bad about his actions.
But you could suggest ways he could do that without feeling a certain way. Maybe, advise him to use body language if he can’t use words or drop notes describing his current feeling about something. If you don’t mind his bluntness, you could tell him to say it as it is.
It starts with you. Open up and be free with him. Men like to be sure they’re not wasting their time with a girl. Let him know why he shouldn’t be shy or scared of holding back with you. Then give him some time to get comfortable with expressing his feelings for you.
Guys have lost the ability to express their feelings because they have lived in a world where our society feels they should hide their emotions. So they’ve learned how to hide how they feel about certain things, including their inability to cry or say how much they love you when they want to.
There are many ways to make a man miss you badly. The first thing is to make sure you don’t message him often. Get busy with your own needs and spend your time sparingly with him. Create boundaries, be yourself, and say no when you’re not comfortable with anything.
If he’s not a guy that loves to express his feelings by talking, you would know from his gestures. He would consciously try to protect or look out for you, stroke your hair, arrange your clothes, and continually asks if you’re okay. It shows in the way he relates with you.
You can test a guy to see if he loves you in so many ways. You could pretend you’re sick or pregnant and see how he reacts. Or pretend you need something special or a particular help that would make him compromise his needs. His reaction to those situations would tell.
Getting a guy to express his feelings could be a bit difficult, but if you try out some of the ways I’ve mentioned, it will make things a lot easier for you. I hope you like this article. If you did, please feel free to drop a comment and share it with others.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.