If you’re trying to get a gay guy to like you, it’s a tiny bit different from getting a straight guy to like you. We, as women, tend to naturally warm up faster to gay men than we do straight men. They’re funnier. Gay men are better listeners. They aren’t scared of their emotions.
If you’ve ever had a gay best friend, you know that they aren’t the same as straight guys. It’s no wonder why they make us wonder if we stand a chance.
The great thing is, we do. The odds are not in your favor if you’re a girl that likes a gay guy, but that doesn’t mean that you’re out of luck either. He could be bisexual but say that he’s gay. Your best friend might also wind up liking you back and want to give a heterosexual relationship a try, too.
These tips aren’t just going to help you if you’re a female that’s interested in dating a gay guy. If you’re a guy that has a crush on a man, these tips are going to help you develop some much-needed skills in the dating world.
You’ll learn how to get your crush to notice you, and how to show him that you’re interested. This is particularly important if you’re new to the dating scene and need some pointers.
- 1 How To Get Your Crush To Like You Back
- 1.1 1. Don’t jump right into bed with him
- 1.2 2. Enjoy conversation with him
- 1.3 3. Don’t be needy or clingy
- 1.4 4. Be yourself
- 1.5 5. Don’t focus on him being gay
- 1.6 6. Don’t say certain things at all
- 1.7 7. Make him laugh
- 1.8 8. Match his level of interest
- 1.9 9. Share your passions
- 1.10 10. Smile to catch his eye
- 1.11 11. Message him on a dating app
- 1.12 12. Walk up to him and introduce yourself
- 1.13 13. Share your feelings
- 1.14 14. Confidence is sexy
- 1.15 15. Don’t avoid him
- 1.16 16. Take care of yourself
- 1.17 17. Practice on other people if you’re feeling awkward
- 1.18 18. Don’t be playfully mean
- 1.19 19. Invite him to do things with you and your friends
- 1.20 20. Forget cheesy pick-up lines
- 1.21 21. Ignore approaches that involve you leaving the conversation
- 1.22 22. Play hard to get sexually
- 1.23 23. Don’t let him know if you stalk him on the internet
- 1.24 24. Always be fabulous
- 1.25 25. Remain positive
- 1.26 26. Don’t double text him
- 1.27 27. Make plans
- 2 FAQs
How To Get Your Crush To Like You Back
If you have a crush on a gay man, there’s a certain way to approach things. You need to keep in mind that some tips that work with straight men will work, but gay men tend to be a bit less misogynistic than straight men. They also aren’t as likely to run away from their feelings.
More than anything, most men that are comfortable being gay are also more straightforward about things like whether they like you back and their level of attraction. These tips will help you make sure that they like you before you have that conversation.
1. Don’t jump right into bed with him
There are so many men that want to just have sex, and gay men are not excluded from that. However, you need to refrain from the urge to jump right in between the sheets and start getting nasty. You want this guy to respect you, and getting naked too soon is going to make him lose any respect he has for you.
The only exception is if you’re looking for a one-night stand. If you want to have one night of fun and be done, make sure that you do it the right way. These are some great tips to help you have the perfect one-night stand.
2. Enjoy conversation with him
Before you start expressing your interest, make sure that you take time to get to know him. Gay men are stereotypically amazingly hot. They’re used to being stereotyped or having girls try to get them to try being straight. This isn’t the approach you want to take. Instead, get to know him for who he is.
3. Don’t be needy or clingy
This is important throughout the relationship, but especially in the beginning. You want him to know that you’re interested in him. That means a call here and there. Send him a message every so often. There’s no need to message him frequently, or even every day. Treat him like you would a friend in the beginning.
4. Be yourself
There’s nothing that’s a bigger turn-off than someone that is fake. They can spot you from a mile away. The thing is, it’s pointless to be fake. The real you will always come out eventually. Instead of trying to pretend that you’re something you’re not, make sure that they like you for who you really are.
5. Don’t focus on him being gay
No one likes being stereotyped. Avoid making comments about him being a gay man. Don’t talk about what it’s like to be gay. Never mention how life is harder for gay people, or how you wouldn’t want your son to be gay. Even if you’re trying to be relatable, you can unintentionally be very offensive.
6. Don’t say certain things at all
There are certain things you just don’t say to people. This applies to every race, every person with a disability, every person that is different from you, and it also applies to gay people. Straight people or those that have not been around a lot of other gay people say most of these things without realizing that they’re being offensive.
7. Make him laugh
A sense of humor is always sexy! Find humor in any situation that you can. When you see him at least crack a smile, you know that you’re headed down the right path. Relationships always last longer if you make each other laugh and smile. Take some time to figure out what his sense of humor is first, though.
8. Match his level of interest
Don’t be more interested in him than he is in you. If he can’t make time for you in the day, you’re not a priority. Avoid being too aggressive during this stage. It’s normal. As you spend more time together, he’ll become more attracted to you.
Then, that level will slowly rise. If it doesn’t you can text him a little bit extra to see if he reciprocates. This shows him that you like him and want to connect more.
Nothing is sexier than a person with some ambition! It shows that you have goals and that you’re actively pursuing them. Not only is it sexy, but it is also a great indicator that you won’t be too clingy. No one wants to be the only person in someone’s life.
10. Smile to catch his eye
Smiling instantly makes you more approachable and attractive. It will make him want to start a conversation with you. Flashing him a grin is the perfect kind of way to see whether he likes you back or not too.
11. Message him on a dating app
If he’s on a dating app, send him a message on there. This will instantly let him know that you’re interested in dating him. It can squelch your fears of whether he’s into dating you or not pretty quickly. He’ll either respond or he won’t. If he does, you can instantly start getting to know each other better!
12. Walk up to him and introduce yourself
Usually, the most awkward part about having a crush on a man is when they don’t know that you exist. If you’ve noticed them checking you out, or are disappointed that they haven’t been, try walking up to them and introducing yourself.
Make sure that you know what they are interested in if you can find out. These interests can be conversation starters. After the introduction, you’ll need something else to talk about. Try to plan ahead.
Being vulnerable shows that you’re open to intimacy. It can also let him know how you feel. Maybe he’s into you but he’s feeling shy? Perhaps you don’t realize it, but you’re actually sending mixed signals so he hasn’t responded back with interest yet. The worst that will happen is he will say he’s not interested. If that happens, try a few other of these tips.
14. Confidence is sexy
No one wants to deal with low self-esteem in a relationship. It can lead to a relationship that is packed with assurance, one person being a burden, jealousy and so many more issues. If you’re open to working on yourself, they may grant you a pass. If not, you can expect them to hit the road.
Instead, let your confidence shine through. Approach them first. Start talking to them first once in a while. Make cute little hints that you have a crush. Everyone likes the kind of person that is comfortable in their own skin.
15. Don’t avoid him
Avoiding a guy that you have a crush on never turns out well. Some men that like the chase might come to find you, but most will think that you’re not interested in dating them. The idea of a relationship will never cross their mind. Instead, you want to be seen by this guy. In your best outfit. As much as possible.
16. Take care of yourself
They stereotype gay guys a lot by saying that they have unbelievably high standards. The thing is, this one is slightly true. If you’ve ever been around a lot of gay guys, you’ll notice that they do seem to have higher standards than other men.
That means that you’ll need to meet those standards if you want to stand a chance. Guys need to hit up the gym. If you know the gym your crush goes to, visit that one. Men that are just getting started on toning their body can ask their guy crush for a few tips in the department too.
Girls will need to make sure that they look on point before they leave the house. It’s time to get in shape, throw on some makeup if you wear some, and stop letting your roots show. Gay men love a partner that looks put together, and one that cares about their health. In fact, this is sexy to just about everyone.
17. Practice on other people if you’re feeling awkward
Have you ever walked up to someone and introduced yourself? How about talking to a gay guy? If you answered no or not a lot to either of those questions, you need to practice. As the old adage goes, practice does make perfect. Hit up a local bar and introduce yourself to a stranger. Join an online dating app and talk to a few guys.
If you take the time to practice, it’ll be easier to talk to your crush when the time comes. If you’re new to dating gay guys, take baby steps. Start with online. Then, work up to doing it in person.
18. Don’t be playfully mean
Sometimes, guys tend to get into their feelings a bit more than we realize. Gay guys in particular might. Some may have been made fun of their whole lives. They’re a disappointment to their fathers. Those playful jabs that you mean in a joking way might be sensitive topics. Avoid this if you’re trying to get him to like you.
19. Invite him to do things with you and your friends
First dates can be awkward. If you’re not ready for solo time, or still want to get to know him, invite him to hang out with you and a few friends. Go bowling. Head to the movies. This will show him that you’re fun, sociable, and it’ll give you a chance to be around him more.
20. Forget cheesy pick-up lines
These make everyone cringe, so just spare your crush by not saying any of them. Eliminate the sexual ones like “I want to melt in your mouth not in your hand” from your brain. Instead, use them as a joke after you’ve spent plenty of time getting to know the other person if you can’t let them go.
21. Ignore approaches that involve you leaving the conversation
It’s common advice to learn different ways to approach guys. Some of these involve things like asking for directions, or where the bathroom was.
The problem with this approach is that once he’s told you where the nearest bathroom is, that’s a signal for you to leave to go to that bathroom. If you stay to continue the conversation, things can get a bit awkward.
22. Play hard to get sexually
If you keep things at the friend level for just a little bit longer, it will give him more time for his attraction to develop. This will also make sure that the guy doesn’t just want sex.
On the other hand, you don’t want him to think that you’re not interested, either. Playing coy is your best bet to win this guy over. Think sensual and fun, not sexy and naughty pics. Keep the game up until you can’t stand the thought of not jumping in bed with him.
When those feelings slowly develop over time, there’s a chance that they can turn into love. In fact, a mutual attraction that lasts for months usually does turn into love.
23. Don’t let him know if you stalk him on the internet
Some of us can’t help but look up someone on Facebook or Google their name once we find out. Then, it can easily lead to us finding out everything about their family, like that their cousin just had a set of twins.
We all do it, but we also all keep it to ourselves. No one can admit that they do this without appearing creepy. It’s a huge turn-off.
Instead of mentioning that twins also happen to run in your family, try to pretend like you don’t know. You might even want to act surprised if he mentions it. When you can avoid stalking a guy on the internet, do it minus what you look up for safety reasons, like doing a public background check.
24. Always be fabulous
If you’re not amazing, you’re not going to suddenly get amazing once you meet a guy that you want. In fact, it’ll probably stress you out because you know that you’re not at your best and you absolutely love this guy.
That’s why it’s important to always be a catch. Get up every day and get dressed to take on the world. Look amazing from head to toe. Make sure that you focus on pursuing your dreams, and relish in your passions. This will naturally give you plenty to talk about.
25. Remain positive
Staying positive about life can be hard. However, you don’t always realize the impact that negativity can have on both you and your life. When you’re negative, you tend to instantly repel people. This is because you have exuberant negative vibes, and other people pick up on them.
Not only does it impact your vibes, being negative can impact your appearance. Stress makes your body produce an increased level of cortisol, which can make you gain more weight, especially around your middle.
Lastly, having a negative perspective can change your attitude. It can kill the mood. You’ll feel negative about everything around you. When minor inconveniences happen, like the waiter not getting your order right, they’ll bug you. Having a positive attitude will make you a more pleasant person to be around.
26. Don’t double text him
I’m a bit against double texting a guy in the first place, but this is especially true with a guy that has high standards. When you send one text after another one, it makes you look desperate. No guy wants to deal with someone that is desperate.
A guy will also tend to think that a person that’s desperate will be clingy in the future. These two just seem to go hand in hand. If he thinks you’re clingy and values his personal space, he’s less likely to bother texting back after a double text.
Instead, wait for his reply. If it takes him days to respond, then you know where you’re at on the priority list. Take the hint.
27. Make plans
If you’re into him, make plans with him. Inviting him out with you and your friends is a great idea, but you’re not out of luck if that’s not an option. Asking him if he’d love to grab coffee later is a great idea. This keeps things casual, and you’re still making plans with each other.
Start small. Sending too many long texts, in the beginning, can be overwhelming. Avoid mentioning relationships. Instead, keep things lighthearted and fun. Talk about places you’d love to travel to. Be funny with jokes or memes to make him smile. Don’t forget to use emojis, like the winking face to let him know you’re totally flirting.
Having patience is key here. No one falls in love overnight. Instead, make sure to word your texts carefully so he knows you’re a tad interested, but don’t be aggressive. Focus on nurturing your relationship as friends and getting to know each other over time. Then, slowly start being a little bit sweeter to him.
When a gay guy likes you, he won’t touch you like a straight guy normally would touch someone they’re interested in. Instead, he’ll give you a sexy, somewhat sly smile. If you smile back, it implies that you’re interested too. He’ll also drop little hints to see if you’re gay too. If he’s not interested, it won’t matter whether you’re gay.
Add a couple of y’s to the end of your hey. Instead of “hey” you’ll want to send “heyyy”. Don’t forget to use emojis. The heart eyes or kissing face are the perfect way to let him know that you’re flirting. Make sure that you avoid the eggplant emoji. You want to flirt, not come off as overly sexual.
If he likes another guy, he won’t show as much affection, especially in public. You’ll feel a gap. Relationships might not be as sexual as they used to be. You’ll notice that he’s distant. Your boyfriend might be spending more time with someone else, and appear happier when he’s with them.
Getting a gay guy to like you is similar to getting anyone to like you. You want to be the best version of yourself, take care of yourself, and make sure that you’re feeling positive. Get to know him instead of just focusing on his looks. If you’ve ever tried to get a gay guy to like you, what worked for you?
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.