On the list of intimate ways to connect with your partner, French kissing could arguably be one of the top three. Some people don’t consider a kiss to be a big deal but if you think of it, kissing is one of the first physical activities that connect you with your partner, and it usually precedes other intimate acts.
The success of your date or relationship could be dependent on how well your first french kiss turns out. I know this is a lot of pressure but it’s always better to tell yourself the truth, right?
For soon-to-be first-time kissers out there who are desperately wondering how to french kiss, there’s hope for you. Learning how to french kiss is not rocket science. In fact, it almost takes shape organically especially if you're in love with the person involved or if you’re both learning together. However, there are a few things you'd do well to know before you finally try it out.
If you're interested in knowing how to french kiss like a pro, then below are a few tips to equip you for the uncertainty ahead. Just relax, take a deep breath and educate yourself.
- 1 17 Tips On How To French Kiss
- 1.1 1. Make sure you feel comfortable
- 1.2 2. Don't force it
- 1.3 3. Start with a peck and light kisses
- 1.4 4. Maintain good oral hygiene
- 1.5 5. Not too much tongue
- 1.6 6. Use your hands
- 1.7 7. It's okay to take a break to laugh or talk
- 1.8 8. Keep things exciting
- 1.9 9. Don't stop at the mouth
- 1.10 10. Suction is key
- 1.11 11. Swirl your tongue around a bit
- 1.12 12. Be present
- 1.13 13. Don't just lead, follow too
- 1.14 14. Keep your lips moisturized
- 1.15 15. Keep your eyes closed
- 1.16 16. Explore
- 1.17 17. Let it happen naturally
- 2 FAQs
- 3 Conclusion
17 Tips On How To French Kiss
1. Make sure you feel comfortable
French kissing is very different from just pecking your partner. With a normal kiss, all you need to do is quickly brush your lips on your partner's lips, cheeks, or forehead and you're done with it.
With a normal kiss, you both don’t need to use your tongues, teeth, or even hands in some cases. Contrariwise, french kissing takes time; it may take as long as 15 to 20 minutes depending on where you are and what comes after.
Getting into a comfortable position would be better for you and your kissing partner. If the position you’re in isn’t comfortable enough, it's not wrong for you to ask for space to readjust. The thing about a nice French kiss session is that you can do so standing, sitting, or lying down, you don't need to be a yoga expert to enjoy it.
It's important to pick a comfortable location (in public or private) to sit, stand or lie in a position you wouldn't mind staying in for a couple of minutes. This does not mean that you are forbidden from moving around while you kiss, however, generally being comfortable is important.
2. Don't force it
Yes, french kissing should indeed be passionate and somewhat intense. However, don't try to force the passion or intensity. There's nothing wrong with sharing a gentle kiss with your partner now and then, it doesn't always have to be steamy and wild.
This is especially true for first-time kissers. Most people have their first kiss after their first date while others wait a little longer before they touch their lips. Regardless of the time you wait, your first time will always be a sensitive time. A bad first kiss may potentially ruin your chances with this person, so it's important to let things happen organically.
If you’re about to kiss someone for the first time, try to take a deep breath and follow your partner's rhythm, especially if they're more experienced than you in that aspect. There's no need to take the lead when you aren't sure of what you're doing.
3. Start with a peck and light kisses
When you're in love with someone, you want to spend as much time as possible together. You want to savor every moment with them too. It's the same with a french kiss, you don't just want to rush into the core of things, it’s better to ease into it.
Start with light touches, feel and appreciate your partner's face, the texture of their skin, their curves, and edges. This helps to build up that chemistry, even more, that way your mind is focused more on your kissing partner and how strongly you feel about them.
You could also incorporate pecks and light kisses as you go. Switching from a deep, intense kiss to soft and feathery pecks, tickles your partner's nerve endings, creating a different and added effect to the whole experience. Most importantly, it allows you to slow down and savor your partner's scent, feel, and texture. Let your partner do the same.
4. Maintain good oral hygiene
Dental hygiene is important not only for kissers but for everyone. You shouldn't brush your teeth only because you want to enjoy a french kiss with someone, but also because it's essential for your well-being. That being said, I think it's safe to stress that you need to take extra measures to ensure your breath smells fresh before you proceed to touch lips with anyone.
French kissing is quite intimate in the sense that you're not only exchanging saliva with someone else, but you're also very close to your partner’s mouth and nose that you can taste and smell almost everything around those areas. You don't want your partner to pull away because you have bad breath.
This does not mean that you should overly stress about your breath, all you need to do is brush your teeth properly before you leave your house for a date or use mouthwash. You could also carry a breath spray in your purse or pocket just in case you need to freshen your breath after you've had some wine or a sweet beverage.
5. Not too much tongue
This is a common mistake amongst first-time kissers and sometimes even people you’d expect to kiss like a pro. French kissing is more interesting when you use your tongue properly, however, too much of it can completely ruin the whole experience.
It's also important to know that kissing without any tongue at all is perfectly fine, no laws are mandating the use of your tongue to be considered a good kisser. However, using your tongue gives the kiss an added flavor if it’s used just right.
Adding tongue to a kiss should be done at the right time and in the right amount. You shouldn't begin a French kiss by shoving your tongue down your partner's throat, you need to wait till the kiss intensifies.
At that point, it's advisable to use the tip of your tongue and just lightly play around with your partner's tongue. The purpose of your tongue in a kiss is to make teasing movements around your partner's mouth, it’s not necessarily the main part of a good french kiss so a little goes a long way.
6. Use your hands
What is a French kiss without touch? The whole idea of getting physical is to experience your partner with at least four senses. Feeling your partner with your hands is part of the experience so don't just place your hands on one spot and leave them there.
You could start by feeling the skin on their face, tracing the curves of their nose, cheeks, and jaw. You could also feel their chest, shoulders, and back. Move your hands slowly, paying attention to the growing intensity.
However, if you don't want to get too handsy, you could just place your hands on your partner's waist, shoulders, or the back of their head. Try your best not to touch overly sensitive regions like the breasts at first until you have their consent.
Don’t forget to involve your partner too, if you like being touched in specific areas, then tell them or gently move their hands to that region while you kiss.
7. It's okay to take a break to laugh or talk
French kissing doesn't have to go on continuously for an endless stretch, from time to time you can take a break to whisper in your partner's ears or even laugh if you find something funny.
Sometimes when it gets a bit too steamy, you need to break and take a few breaths. Perhaps even make a light joke or just use your hands for a few seconds. It could help to ease the tension if you’re both a bit nervous.
Also, some people find it even sexier when their boyfriends stop whispering in their ears how much they love them or how beautiful they are. Whatever you choose to do during your little breaks is up to you, but it's advisable to include the breaks.
8. Keep things exciting
When you're kissing your partner, try not to use the same kissing technique the whole time, things could get boring that way. To make it interesting, change the pressure of the kiss from time to time. It's synonymous with changing gears when you're driving, you can't drive in the same gear the whole time.
You could switch from pressing your lips hard against your partner's mouth to brushing your lips and the tip of your tongue over their mouth. You could also stop and lightly bite on your partner's bottom lip.
Switching to light kisses and pecks is also part of changing the pressure, you could alternate between light biting, soft and short kisses, and pecks.
9. Don't stop at the mouth
Kissing other regions on your partner's body would feel pleasurable for both you and them. You don’t only have to use your hands to feel, your mouth counts too. You could gently give them kisses on their neck cheeks and even on their ears.
Some men have confessed to loving ear kisses, they like it when you lightly brush your lips on the ear lobes. According to them, it gives them a tingly feeling down their spine and leaves them wanting more.
Neck kisses for women especially are an absolute favorite. The mix of tickly sensations and pure pleasure makes these neck kisses irresistible. So incorporating these varieties makes the kissing session even better.
10. Suction is key
As mentioned above, a kiss should include varying techniques and pressures to keep it interesting. To increase the intensity of a french kiss, it's important to use suction from time to time. You can use your lips to do this, open your mouth slightly and gently take your partner's lower lip, upper lip, or the tip of their tongue in your mouth, then slightly suck on it.
However, try not to overdo it, the sucking should be very light and short. You don't want to upset your partner or cause them any pain. Sucking could increase blood flow to the mouth or tongue and in turn, increase the pleasure in those areas.
11. Swirl your tongue around a bit
A good kiss involves just the right amount of tongue. There are so many ways to use your tongue and one is by swirling it around a region on your partner’s lip or even on the tip of their tongue.
The tongue has multiple nerve endings, especially around the tip. Swirling your tongue around the tip of their tongue would increase the pleasure and change up the sensations a little bit.
12. Be present
There's nothing as distasteful as being absent-minded when you kiss someone, what's the point of sharing a kiss when the other party isn’t even mentally present enough to enjoy it.
If French kissing is not something you feel like doing at that time then be sure to let your partner know beforehand. Don't let them force it on you and don't just do it because you feel pressured. French kissing should be mutually enjoyed, and shouldn't be treated like a chore, so make sure that the person you're making out with is someone you actually like and not just tolerate.
If you're way too nervous and can't focus then take a break to breathe, talk to your partner for a bit while you build up the chemistry again. Stay in the moment and don't be too worried about your performance. your partner's reaction will let you know when to switch things up if need be.
13. Don't just lead, follow too
Still on the topic of being attentive to your partner's responses, try not to ignore their body language. You need to remind yourself that it takes two to tango, you aren't the only one burdened with the responsibility of making the kiss work.
Don't try to take the lead the whole time, recognise that you could learn a lot from your partner if you're attentive to them. While you're switching techniques, give them a chance to try out a few things on you too.
To effectively be sensitive to your partner's responses, try not to rush things, and take it slow. Open your eyes to watch them from time to time in case they're uncomfortable at some point, don’t wait till they have to pull away. If you start using your tongue and they aren't responding, stop and take a step back.
14. Keep your lips moisturized
No one wants to french kiss dry, chapped lips, where's the fun in that? A lot of sexually related activities are better enjoyed when there's the right amount of lubrication. Just like it's important for you to take care of your dental hygiene, it's also important for you to take good care of your skin and lips.
Use a Chapstick daily after your bath and anytime your lips feel dry during the day. Make a habit of drinking enough water and exfoliate your lips using a dampened washcloth. Another quick tip is to lick your lips just before french kissing your partner, this would dampen them and make them feel a bit more moisturized.
15. Keep your eyes closed
I think everyone can agree that opening your eyes to see your partner staring cross-eyed at you would really freak you out. When you're french kissing, you both are extremely close to each other in proximity, which means attempting to look into each other's eyes would look very weird.
It’s not wrong to open your eyes during intervals, especially if you're switching positions or moving your head in a different direction, but for the most part, it's more advisable to keep them shut. Also, don’t squeeze them too tightly as if you're eating a lemon, close them gently and allow yourself to enjoy the moment.
As mentioned earlier, the Idea of getting physical with your partner is so you can explore and experience them in different capacities. Relax, and try not to be too nervous or scared to explore your partner's mouth. It may not seem like there's a lot to explore but there is just enough.
Explore your partner's lips, mouth, and even teeth, use different methods to find out how things feel with different movements and levels of pressure. This will allow you to find out what you and your partner love the most. Try to be verbal about what you like or don't like and remember to be attentive to your partner's wants.
17. Let it happen naturally
If you've never been kissed, you may feel very eager to try it out. It’s understandable, however, it's not worth rushing yourself into an awkward experience.
Once you discover that you like someone you're talking to and decide to start dating, make up your mind to let things happen organically, no matter how eager you feel. A forced kiss will always turn out to be awkward and disastrous.
So, save yourself and your partner the trauma and take things easy. There's no point rushing or forcing it if you're not going to enjoy it.
There are a good number of ways you can practice and perfect your french kissing skills. First, you could try it out with a close, platonic friend or you could practice on your own. If you decide on the latter, a good and effective practice tool is your hand.
French kissing usually takes shape naturally, even when you're doing it for the first time. It's even easier when you both have lots of chemistry. If you're kissing your partner for the first time, try your best to keep it simple. Start by holding them on their waist or shoulder while you gently ease into the kiss.
French kissing doesn't just involve the lips as opposed to an everyday peck or a kiss on the lip. You’d also need to use your tongues and even your teeth sometimes. The skin in these regions is quite sensitive so in general, a French kiss feels like a light, wet sucking sensation.
There are so many things that could go bad with a French kiss. It's either way too wet (too much saliva), you’re both using your tongues too much, or plain old bad breath. If your partner suddenly becomes stiff or pulls away, then there may be something you aren’t doing right.
In summary, a great kisser is someone whose kissing methods are compatible with yours. Not everyone kisses the same way, so someone you think is a bad kisser could be a good kisser to someone else. So the trick is to stick with people who kiss the same way you do and if you both are beginners, learn together.
I hope you found this article helpful. Remember, there isn’t much to a french kiss, all you need to do is practice, calm your nerves and keep your tongue in your mouth while you’re still learning. Please let me know what you think about this topic in the comment section below and be sure to share it.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.