How does it feel to watch a couple show public displays of affection? Do you wish it was you and your boyfriend, or do you turn up your nose at the romantic public display? Most people think that when a couple is in love, they have to be romantic in a grand way. However, people choose to handle their relationships in ways they feel most comfortable with.
What kind of person is your boyfriend, and is he the kind of man who is open to public displays of affection or not? If you and your boyfriend aren’t on the same page on what is acceptable and what is not, you’ll have issues. Other people might tell you the issue of PDA isn’t a big deal, but it might be a bigger deal than you thought.
If your boyfriend likes public display of affection and you don’t, you’ll both act awkward in front of people around you. If he doesn’t like PDA and you do, you’ll start seeing him as a jerk. Neither of these scenarios is good for your relationship, which is why this post will help you maintain balance on the issue of PDA.
Whether your boyfriend encourages PDA or not, he wants you to show that you love him, publicly and privately. As such, you just need to know how to express your affection without offending your partner or the people witnessing your romantic display.
- 0.1 13 Ways To Do PDA With Your Boyfriend
- 0.1.1 1. Consider the location
- 0.1.2 2. Consider your personality
- 0.1.3 3. What are your love languages?
- 0.1.4 4. Avoid groping in public
- 0.1.5 5. Don’t overshare intimate details in a social chatroom
- 0.1.6 6. Give your partner active attention
- 0.1.7 7. Kiss only when it’s appropriate
- 0.1.8 8. Consider the comfort of others
- 0.1.9 9. Let your partner know he makes you happy
- 0.1.10 10. Practice hand-holding only when convenient
- 0.1.11 11. Discuss the PDAs both of you find comfortable
- 0.1.12 12. Hug him as often as possible
- 0.1.13 13. Glide your hands across his upper torso
- 0.2 FAQs
- 0.3 The Bottomline
13 Ways To Do PDA With Your Boyfriend
1. Consider the location
Before bringing out the big sexy guns that will turn your man all mushy for you, consider your current location. How many people are around and how open is the venue? No one will tell you not to show love to your man, even publicly.
However, you should consider how others will feel when they see you swapping kisses with your boyfriend in front of them. For example, if you are in a restaurant, it is inappropriate for others to see you sitting on your boyfriend’s lap.
On the other hand, a cozy atmosphere such as a picnic would be more appropriate for sitting on your man’s lap. While you might not get arrested for being overly affectionate with your partner publicly, you should try respecting how you make others feel.
2. Consider your personality
You need to do a personality check to determine what kind of PDA your boyfriend likes. Beyond PDA, doing a personality check is important for other aspects of your relationship. A personality check prevents either of you from stepping on each other’s feet too much.
Is your boyfriend a fun junkie, or is he an extrovert who prefers private affection display over a public one? Does he get cranky when you don’t kiss or touch him enough? Or is he the type of person who is okay with a hug? Understanding your boyfriend through observation and questioning will save both of you from avoiding public embarrassment.
Discover what he is like, then practice public displays of affection that perfectly suit his special qualities. Your relationship will improve for the best when you understand what your man responds to.
3. What are your love languages?
Like a personality check, it is vital that you know the love language your boyfriend understands. You should also know which love language you respond to. Understanding each other’s love languages will help you know which ones to speak.
Would your partner prefer you to do something special for him over kissing him in public? If yes, it is better you invest in planning a surprise package, trip, or hangout for him. If your love language involves him touching you a lot, you’ll get your wish when you speak his language too.
As such, you surprising him with a ticket to watch his favorite team will lead to him kissing and hugging you publicly. It is a win-win when both of you speak each other’s languages properly.
4. Avoid groping in public
Groping your boyfriend in full view of other people is completely inappropriate because you can easily take your romance into a private place. It is even more uncomfortable being an affectionate couple in front of your single friends.
When you kiss your partner too intimately in front of your single friends or colleagues, it would seem like you’re rubbing their singlehood in their faces. They might tell you it’s okay, but they won’t always feel okay about it. Leave your groping for when you’re both alone and can fully express how attractive you find each other.
Limit your touching to a G-rated version to avoid offending anyone’s sensibilities. For instance, don’t grope his private parts, and he should avoid smacking your butt especially when children are around.
Avoid sharing intimate details with outsiders, no matter how close you are to them. When you’re with your girlfriends, you can share as much as you think your boyfriend will be fine with. However, avoid TMI (too much information), especially in social media rooms.
You might think you’re not sharing with the public, so your info is safe. However, you can never tell who will feel it’s fun to share your details on Twitter or Instagram. When you and your man are in a chatroom together, act like romantic partners, but keep a lid on your love expressions.
No one is saying shun your boyfriend, just try to be civil while displaying public affection.
6. Give your partner active attention
If your partner dislikes the regular PDAs such as excessive touching and kissing, you might want to develop public affection gestures he will find acceptable. One of such acceptable public affection gestures is active attention.
When you turn your full attention to your man without kissing or any major physical contact, he would understand how much you care for him. Maintain eye contact when he is talking to you. Let your eyes gleam with joy when he says something sweet to you in front of others.
Physical connection is important in relationships, but let him feel the weight of your love even when you are not holding hands.
7. Kiss only when it’s appropriate
Some people find it difficult to express their affection in public if they don’t kiss their better half. They are ignorant of the fact that they don’t have to kiss their partner in the company of others to show they care.
Also, there are different ways to kiss a loved one. If you or your partner considers kissing so important, consider practicing appropriate kissing patterns for different situations. Practice more lip brushing, while you keep your French kisses for when you’re alone.
There are times when a warm hug will suffice in place of a public kiss, and no one will question your affection for your man.
8. Consider the comfort of others
You are an adult and you can do whatever you like. However, one of the social etiquettes you should follow is preserving the comfortability of other people even while you live your life freely.
Many people find it distasteful witnessing a couple lip-locking or all over each other in public when their home would be more suitable. As such, if it’s not your wedding day, and you’re not shooting a romantic scene, take your intricacies to your bedroom.
You wouldn’t want strangers to have sex on the bedspread you hung outside on your dryer because you’ll be uncomfortable. That’s how people feel when you get nasty in front of them.
9. Let your partner know he makes you happy
Public affection isn’t limited to smooching and sitting on his lap. You can display your affection publicly by doing things that show he makes you happy. When he is humorous, laugh. When he goes sweet on you, smile. When he whispers something naughty in your ears, blush or giggle.
A man who loves you wants you to laugh a lot. He will also act extra when you’re in the company of others, and so he’ll feel terrible if he thinks he’s doing a poor job of making you happy. Communicating how you feel through your response will go a long way to improving your relationship.
10. Practice hand-holding only when convenient
Holding hands is the most common public affection sign. Most times, it’s like a default setting for most couples. Holding hands is kind of instinctive, especially when you’re walking together. However, you don’t want to piss anyone off by holding hands when there’s foot traffic.
When you’re walking together on the road, and people need to pass between both of you, gently squeeze his hands before letting go. To avoid disengaging your hands, you can ask him to put his arm around you. Passersby will politely walk around you and move on. Also, if your man dislikes clinginess, you should limit how much you put your arm around him or hold his hand.
11. Discuss the PDAs both of you find comfortable
Communicating what both of you find comfortable displaying is the easiest way to avoid conflict. Discuss the public displays of affection you like and hear the ones he likes. Discard the ones he is opposed to, and reach a compromise on which ones both of you can live with.
It might seem ridiculous to talk about it, but you’d be surprised by how helpful this silly discussion will be. After agreeing on possible PDAs, practice them intentionally till they become regular things you do in your relationship.
It might take a while to adjust to what your partner likes, but public affection displays keep your partner reassured that you’re proud to be seen with him. As such, it will be worth it.
12. Hug him as often as possible
Rather than heavy petting or intense smooching, be more comfortable with hugging your partner in public. Instead of dropping on his lap at every point, give him side hugs when you’re sitting together.
If your relationship is still in its early stage, and both of you can’t keep your hands to yourselves, consider sitting with someone else. By keeping someone else in the middle of you and your partner, you’ll reduce the risk of improper public behavior.
13. Glide your hands across his upper torso
If you’re among friends, on a picnic, or on a hangout, it’s okay to relax and hold your man a bit intimately. Picnics and couples' hangouts usually happen in pairs, so it’s safe to say you won’t be making anyone jealous.
It’s alright to touch his chest or wrap your arms around his belly. As long as everyone else is in a similar relaxed state, you can do the same.
Sexual PDA is when you use public affection displays to arouse your partner without being obvious to people around you. You can do this by gliding your fingers across your partner’s erogenous zones or whispering naughty things in his ears.
Yes, displaying affection publicly will improve your relationship by strengthening your special bond.
Most guys are possessive. Even if your guy doesn’t like you acting clingy, he’d still want people to know he is special to you. So, he will be open to some public gestures, even if it’s mere hand-holding.
Your guy might be shy, introverted, or just doesn’t like public affection displays. The worst-case scenario is that he is double-dating, or doesn’t like you enough to be seen in public with you.
Neck kissing is foreplay and it shows the guys want to have sex with you.
It is easy for someone to ignorantly conclude that the Public affection displays they do are none of anyone’s business. However, as long as you’re coexisting with other people, you should protect their sensibilities. Also, you’d be protecting your relationship when you keep private things private.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.