There’s an array of reasons for people wanting to create space for themselves and detach emotionally from someone.
Perhaps you’ve just gone through a breakup and realize that distancing yourself is the only way you’re going to be able to fully let go, or maybe you keep going back to the same person over and over again, even though you know it’s bad for you.
Regardless of the reason you have for trying to detach yourself from somebody, it’s incredibly hard to do, and it definitely takes courage and determination. It’s a lot easier to stay close with somebody, even if they aren’t adding to your life than push them away and detach from emotions associated with them.
That’s exactly what this article is here – to share 11 useful steps that you should be taking if you’re trying to detach yourself from someone.
- 1 How Do You Distance Yourself?
- 1.1 1. Think about why you want to leave this person behind
- 1.2 2. Communicate with this person
- 1.3 3. Then stop all communication with them
- 1.4 4. Create physical space between the two of you
- 1.5 5. Cleanse your social media
- 1.6 6. Allow yourself to feel all of your emotions
- 1.7 7. Surround yourself with friends and family that support you
- 1.8 8. Don’t let their efforts to speak to you be successful
- 1.9 9. Give it time
- 1.10 10. Look to the future without this person
- 1.11 11. Welcome new people into your life
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In A Nutshell
How Do You Distance Yourself?
1. Think about why you want to leave this person behind
One of the most important things you need to do, and the first thing you need to do, is to fully come to terms with and understand why you feel the need to push this person away. So, look for the reasons why you feel this way. Does this person act in an aggressive or hurtful way towards you? Perhaps the relationship you have with them is holding you back?
Even if you just have a simple gut feeling that you should put space between you and this person, there will be a more exact reason, so make sure you figure out what it is. Then, once you have figured out the reason (or reasons) for wanting to cut ties with this person, it’ll be easier to focus on why you’re leaving them and you’ll be less likely to go back to them.
2. Communicate with this person
In any relationship, whether platonic or romantic, communication is vital. Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship in everyday life, but it’s something that’s even more important to have when something goes wrong in the relationship or issues arise. So, you’ll want to keep the communication open and honest with this person and tell them why you want to cut relationship ties with them.
However, it’s important that you tell this person why you’ll be detaching yourself from them, rather than giving them an option to tell you what to do. Obviously, in certain relationships, with particularly toxic people, you won’t be able to communicate with them clearly and it could put you in danger if you tried.
So if you are trying to create space for yourself away from somebody that puts you in danger or acts aggressively towards you, don’t even try to communicate with them.
3. Then stop all communication with them
Once you have spoken to this person and told them that you’re going to be detaching from them (or not if you felt you were in a dangerous position), it’s time to create space. One of the best ways to do this is to cut all communication. Stop texting them, stop calling them, and even block their number if you feel you need to. If they text you after you have told them you’re detaching from them, you have every right to ignore their messages and not feel bad about it.
4. Create physical space between the two of you
If you’re going to cut ties with somebody, one of the most obvious things that you will need to do is create physical space between the two of you. You’re never going to be able to emotionally detach and cut all ties with somebody if you’re physically surrounded by them all of the time.
If you’re trying to walk away from somebody, the last thing you need is their face popping up on your social media feed, or to see updates about their life, because ultimately you’ll then want to message them. In addition, if this individual keeps seeing your updates on their timelines, they will probably try to message you and keep that connection.
So, the best and easiest thing to do is just block this person from your social media accounts so that you don’t have to see them, and you don’t feel tempted to talk to them and keep that connection between you alive.
6. Allow yourself to feel all of your emotions
Once you have created space between the two of you, it’s time to start working on emotionally detaching yourself. This is where it gets difficult. It’s incredibly hard to try and detach yourself from somebody, especially from a loved one, and although most people think you can just walk away, it’s something that you need to put a lot of effort into.
One of the very first things and most important things you need to do is allow yourself to feel all of your emotions. Depending on the specific situation you are in, you could be feeling anything from anger and pain to sadness and grief. Regardless of the emotions coming through, you need to make sure you let yourself feel them fully, so you can cleanse yourself of the pain and move forward and start healing.
7. Surround yourself with friends and family that support you
Emotionally detaching yourself from somebody that’s been important in your life is tough, and therefore you need to have a strong support network around you to make sure you can get through it in the best way possible.
You will need to spend time with friends and family that care about you and want the best for you so that you can confide in them, gain advice from them, and receive care from them. No one should be alone going through something like this.
Being around friends and family members will also help you to remember that you still have so many amazing people in your life and will make the pain of distancing from somebody feel less painful.
8. Don’t let their efforts to speak to you be successful
One of the most difficult things to do when cutting ties with somebody is to stay strong when they try to talk to you and open the connection back up between you. The person you’re trying to detach yourself from might want to keep you in their life, and they might try to message you, call you or even bump into you in real life.
It might be tempting to speak to this person, and a quick catch up with them is fine, but it’s not. Once you have fully detached from them, you will then be able to catch up with them in the future if you feel like you need to, or you bump into them. However, when you’re in the stage of trying to get them out of your life, you’re not strong enough to do this without inviting them back into your life. So, make sure you stay away from them, block their number, and avoid places they could be in real life.
9. Give it time
Although we get attached to people really quickly and can feel a lot of emotions towards somebody pretty much straight away after we meet them, the detachment process takes a lot longer, and it’s essential that you practice patience.
The truth is, it could take you weeks, months, or even years to feel like you’re fully detached from somebody, especially if they had a very important place in your life. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix to detach from somebody and move on without them, so just keep being persistent with keeping them at bay, stay surrounded by people that support you, and with time, you will forget about them.
10. Look to the future without this person
If you are going to completely detach from someone, you’re going to need to look towards the future, and stop thinking so much about the past. If you’re always looking backward and thinking about all of the amazing memories you had in the past with somebody, you are denying yourself the enjoyment of not only living in the present moment but also thinking about the future.
You should focus on looking towards the future without this person, and thinking about all of the amazing things you’re going to do. If you’re not very good at focusing your thoughts, it can be useful to plan exciting things in advance, so that you think about the future more than you feel tempted to think about the more painful past.
11. Welcome new people into your life
By cutting ties with somebody that wasn’t good for you, you have actually opened up a place in your life for somebody new that will treat you better and add to your life, rather than drain from it. Making an effort to go out and meet new people can be one of the best ways to not only keep your mind off the individual that you have let go of but also to make sure you are moving forward rather than looking back.
You will most likely notice that once you have cut the toxic, negative people from your life, your life will be better and will actually welcome kinder people into it. So, brush up on your social skills and get out there and meet some new people!
Creating space from somebody doesn’t just mean physical distance, it also means detaching from emotions linked to them. If you are to successfully cut ties from a relationship or a particular person, you’re stopping or halting all communication with them and pushing them from your personal life.
You can, but it’s not easy. You might be able to create physical space between you and the person you love straight away, but detaching from them emotionally is very difficult to do and requires a lot of time, due to the strong feelings you have pouring through every time you think of them.
The best thing you can do with any type of relationship issue is communicating, so that’s exactly what you need to do here. If you care about this person, talk your feelings over with them, and share your reasoning behind wanting to create some space. If they respect you and care for you, they will try to understand.
Hopefully, the points in this article can help you understand in more depth how you can emotionally detach from somebody. Overall, you need to think about the reasons you want to create space from them, then you need to stop communicating, allow yourself to feel however you’re feeling, forgive them, and move forward.
The 11 steps above will help you create space away from a guy that you feel like you don’t want in your life, so make sure you follow them! But, overall, just make sure you evaluate the reasons you have for wanting to detach yourself from them, gain the strength to leave them, let yourself feel all the feelings about leaving them, and move on.
In A Nutshell
After reading this article you should be well on your way to completely distancing from someone that’s better off out of your life, and you’ll find yourself able to live a happier, more fulfilling life without them around, even if it seems hard initially. Just remember that creating cutting ties with people that aren’t bringing good into your life only makes way for new people to enter.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.