Dating a conservative boyfriend isn’t all well-mannered behaviors and enviable values. This kind of man is too persnickety and cautious of everything he does. A stickler for details, he wants every action accounted for, and then some more.
He is a micromanager who wants to plan your lives together to a tee. He has charted the course of the relationship from the moment he decided to pursue you. He has probably written down when you’ll both get married and the names of all your three unborn children.
Before you get creeped out by such fastidiousness, know that he is usually the loyal man who will do his best to make you happy. He will remember your special days and spoil you silly with gifts, even if it’s the inexpensive ones he can afford at the time.
He won’t stand you up without good reason and expect absolute fidelity from you too. He can sense when you’re not doing good, and find ways to put you in better spirits. The downside to these sensitive and caring parts of him is that he can get too intense sometimes.
- 1 7 Ways To Deal With A Conservative Boyfriend
- 1.1 1. Appeal to his overly cautious side
- 1.2 2. Highlight your shared beliefs
- 1.3 3. Discuss, not argue about your differences
- 1.4 4. Stick with your decisions when he’s unreasonable
- 1.5 5. Explain to him why you need to slow down
- 1.6 6. Let him understand that your life doesn’t revolve around him
- 1.7 7. Your differences might be more than your similarities
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
7 Ways To Deal With A Conservative Boyfriend
Is your boyfriend’s rigid stance on things posing a problem in your relationship? Are you strong-willed and unwilling to give an inch type too? It is clear why you are having issues in the relationship.
Such men are rare, but when you find one, how do you manage the intense energy he exudes most times? The tips below should help you deal with an overcautious partner.
1. Appeal to his overly cautious side
Dating a conservative man means you cannot skip the small talk because understanding the minutest details is important to him. You cannot gloss over how your day went because he is genuinely interested in knowing what made you laugh and who annoyed you.
Many women desire to be in relationships with men like this, but this kind of approach can prove a bit too much for anyone. A healthy relationship is one where both parties express deep care and concern, not stifling each other with too much attention.
However, if you love this cautious man, you might need to appeal to his obsessively careful side. Always answer his regular questions with cheerful sincerity even before he asks them to avoid getting pissed at him. You probably have your own quirks which he puts up with.
When you’re dating a conservative and you’re a liberal thinker, it usually seems like neither of you has anything in common. You always have discordant thoughts on family, religion, politics, and other sensitive topics.
However, both of you were attracted by a mutual factor, and you’ll discover that you share similar values even if you’re polar opposites. You can use that mutual factor or interest to strengthen your bond. Try drawing his attention to those factors by creating conversations and activities around them.
There is nothing wrong with having a differing opinion, but you can disagree about a lot of things while understanding the other person’s point of view.
However, if both of you can’t agree on something or you declare it a deal-breaker, your relationship might not survive.
3. Discuss, not argue about your differences
Dating a conservative means you’ll have lots of ‘agree to disagree’ conversations. If he is your chosen life partner and the person you want to build a family with, you need to study him properly. You can get that he is studying you too.
For example, if he becomes even more intense during an election year, you might need to be the calmer one who doesn’t try to lord her views over him.
It only makes sense that both of you will respect each other’s opinions about different political views or movements such as Black Lives Matter and gun control policies.
At the end of the day, you’re both on the same side because you want a better society, although in different ways. So, don’t let your unique opinions tear you apart.
4. Stick with your decisions when he’s unreasonable
Dating a micromanager means that sometimes, you have to be firm, else, you won’t like yourself all that much anymore. If your micromanaging boyfriend likes to have an option about everything concerning you, including what you can or cannot wear, you need to stand your ground.
Loving him doesn’t mean you have to relinquish your decision-making power. When you want to make a change that involves risk, a micromanaging partner will step in and probably give you an ultimatum. The ideal thing isn’t to fly off the handle and become hotheaded too.
You can calm him down by explaining how the benefits outweigh the risks without backing down from your decision. He will respect your courage even if he doesn’t completely understand or agree with your logic.
5. Explain to him why you need to slow down
Remember that a micromanager has everything well thought out. So, you might find him discussing marriage when you’re not ready to become a wife. As such, you need to talk to him about how you feel.
Dating a conservative can be tricky. He is the kind of man who takes your silence as acquiescence. As such, don’t let him assume you’re ready to get married or start a family.
If marriage is the last thing on your mind, you need to let him know why you can’t get married yet. Talk to him about the things you want to tick off your list so you can have time for the dream family you want.
If you let him rope you into marriage before you’re ready to be called a married woman or raise children, you will regret it. A micromanager is far from perfect, you don’t want to spend your life resenting or be resented by him.
6. Let him understand that your life doesn’t revolve around him
You need to initiate a conversation on his micromanaging ways if you want to have a life outside of your romance with him. Both of you are in love and want to know everything about the other person, but you can’t be aware 24/7.
You cannot let him always get away with micromanaging your life. If you do, he will ignore your protests later because he’ll see them as half-assed complaints.
If you hope to build a family with him in the future, you need to start letting him prioritize your other important interests from now. If he is already giving snide comments about your job now, you can be sure he won’t allow you to have a career when you get married to him.
7. Your differences might be more than your similarities
This kind of man is a traditionalist who rarely shifts his opinions on a certain matter. He is a staunch believer and follower of the path he grew up in, hoping to change him without his willingness to do so is a terrible mistake.
If after so many months together, you can’t seem to agree on simple matters or come to a respectable concession on avoidable facts, the best option might be to separate.
It is unwise to stay in a leaking boat or stay seated on a bench with uneven sides. Sooner or later, one or both of you will sink/fall.
Yes, you can date people with different values, but you must also have similar beliefs to balance out the disparity in views.
If you don’t share any similar interests, things will not pan out. Also, you’ll realize that sometimes, dating someone who agrees with you on everything is either uninspiring or deceptive.
You can share your opinion honorably without casting aspersions on your partner. Love conquers many things except continuous disrespect. If you cannot hold differing beliefs without almost coming to blows, both of you are better apart from each other.
This is a traditionalist and single-minded believer who finds it hard to do things differently. This person can defend his opinions in the heat of the moment but is afraid to accept new methods for fear of reproach from people in his current path.
This is the barest minimum look. People who follow this rule avoid flamboyant dressing and wear only basic clothing items. It can also mean dressing or looking in a way that is particular to a culture.
The hardest years for any couple are the ones after the honeymoon phase passes. At this point, both parties are beginning to see the flaws in addition to the beauty and wits. It is during these years that both decide they can live with the good and bad of their chosen partner.
Dating a conservative man might not be easy, but it can be worth it if you’re willing to understand him. It takes little to please him once you understand how his mind works. However, some of these men can be difficult, so if his ways don’t match yours after a long time, you can decide to exit his life.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.