The butterflies and anxiety that come with dating are a feeling that never gets old despite how many times we have been through the same pattern. While some people enjoy the thrill and mysteriousness of first dates, I would prefer if we could just skip through all the awkwardness and dive straight to the part where we can be honest without fear of judgment.
Irrespective of what team you belong to in the dating game or whether you are a guy or girl, we can all agree that many of us struggle with the ability to confirm a date without sounding desperate.
On the one hand, you want to be sure your date is still interested and perhaps as excited as you are, but on the other hand, you don’t want to come off as a miserable and desperate loner.
Confirming a date will always be vital because it is polite and prevents embarrassment. In this article, I will highlight nine classy ways to confirm a date without sounding desperate. I am excited to share these tips with you to ensure you do not repeat common mistakes people make when confirming dates.
- 1 9 Ways To Confirm A Date Without Sounding Desperate
- 1.1 1. Don’t call, just text
- 1.2 2. Keep it positive, uncomplicated, and brief
- 1.3 3. Ask a question
- 1.4 4. Make positive assumptions
- 1.5 5. Don’t send numerous messages
- 1.6 6. Get your timing right
- 1.7 7. Be graceful about rescheduling
- 1.8 8. Don’t play or tolerate games
- 1.9 9. Get rid of doubts and embrace confidence
- 2 FAQs
- 3 The Bottomline
9 Ways To Confirm A Date Without Sounding Desperate
1. Don’t call, just text
First things first, I have to warn you – do not call, stick to text messages. I’m not saying calling is some sort of forbidden taboo, but think of how awkward things could get if they decline or cancel the date. Trust me, it’s embarrassing. Besides, a girl might feel compelled to give a positive response even though she wants to say no, and this can lead to them standing you up or just switching off their phone on that day.
While none of these highlighted behaviors are decent, they are all possible outcomes of a phone call. Confirming a date via text eliminates all the awkwardness and gives you room to maintain the perfect tone without giving off any sign of desperation.
2. Keep it positive, uncomplicated, and brief
If you’re thinking of adding, “If you can’t make it anymore, I understand,” to the end of your texts will earn you any points, then you are wrong. That statement screams desperation in many ways, and you might have as well written, “Please, don’t cancel.” You will need to avoid any form of negativity as that comes off as you being insecure.
Furthermore, keep your message short, uncomplicated, and fluff-free. Nobody has the time to read through an essay. Something along the lines of, “Hello XX, are you still up for a hangout?” should work just fine. You don’t necessarily have to confirm the day or place until the girl or guy reaffirms their interest.
3. Ask a question
If you’re a girl, get in here while I let you in on an age-old secret of mine. Asking a question has to be my favorite way of confirming a date. When you ask a question, you can maintain a positive tone and confidence because you’re working on the assumption that your date will happen.
A text to confirm a date or time that reads something along the lines of, “Hi, I want to confirm if there is a dress code I should be aware of for our date tomorrow” is a great way to kick off. Your date will appreciate your effort into wanting to dress right.
By the way, this does not only apply to ladies. So guys, feel free to utilize this method, it’s still a good tip, and it works both ways.
4. Make positive assumptions
Similar to the effects of asking a question, when you confirm a date by making optimistic assumptions, it speaks a lot about your confidence and gets your date excited about your plans. Not to discriminate, but this is best for the men.
For instance, when you text a girl saying, “Hi XX, I think maybe we can watch a movie then go for ice cream afterward. So what’s your favorite movie genre?” it gets her excited to go on a date with you. It also gives her the idea that you are an interesting person and do not mind taking the lead.
5. Don’t send numerous messages
If you didn’t know this before, know it now and heed my warning. Sending numerous messages to confirm a date is a major turn-off. Not only does it scream desperation from all angles, but it’s also creepy. Your date might start to feel like he or she made a mistake by accepting it in the first place.
However, suppose you and the girl or guy already have a relationship where you chat frequently. In that case, you can continue communicating but try not to bring up more conversations or questions about the date. Trust me, it takes away all the excitement and puts both of you under undue pressure to have a great time.
6. Get your timing right
If you are wondering how to confirm a date without sounding desperate, you must understand that timing is crucial. The rule is simple; first, do not confirm the date too early. Anything earlier than a 24-hour window is too early and may not be a valid confirmation.
My point is, there is a high chance of something more important coming up within that time, and your date might have to cancel. However, when you give a 24-hour window, their confirmation holds more water, and if they have forgotten, it gives them enough time to readjust their schedule.
Secondly, while maintaining the 24-hour window, you do not want to send your confirmation texts early in the morning as that could mean they were the first thing on your mind that day. I will recommend you wait until mid-morning to confirm your date, or you can text your date the night before your meeting day.
7. Be graceful about rescheduling
When it comes to learning how to confirm a date without sounding desperate, you will also need to keep an open mind towards the possibility of getting a rejection. I know it hurts to be rejected by a girl you like, but you will have to accept it gracefully by respecting their decision.
On the other hand, you should also know that just because a person did not give a positive confirmation to your date plans does not make it an outright rejection. They may be being honest, and something else came up. Someone open and looking forward to hanging out with you will give a valid reason and suggest that you reschedule to a more convenient time.
8. Don’t play or tolerate games
Your date may want to play mind games with you by not responding to your text. Do not try to create meanings because there is only one answer — they are not interested in you.
Avoid sending a follow-up message to remind them, as that will make you look desperate. Instead, if they do not respond, take it as negative feedback and let them be. You are better off not being around someone like that anyway.
9. Get rid of doubts and embrace confidence
Notice how I keep referring to confidence? Well, that’s because exuding confidence is the best way to confirm a date without sounding desperate. In other words, avoid using words that make you look insecure and unworthy.
Irrespective of how long you have been waiting to go on a date with this person, it is good to act like hanging out with them is just another exciting thing in your life and not the only one.
While you should not wait until the last minute to confirm a date, confirming too early can be awkward, and it’s almost akin to waiting at the airport for someone who is yet to board a 10-hour flight. I recommend leaving a 24-hour window when confirming a date.
It is not only the person who confirms a date that stands the risk of sounding desperate. So when accepting a date, you also have to tread carefully to avoid the person assuming that they have won you over. Your responses should also be short and concise but not emotionless.
Something along the lines of “Yes, 7 pm works perfectly” is an excellent response to a time confirmation.
When a guy doesn't confirm a date plan, it could only mean one thing – he is not interested but doesn’t know how to say no. I will suggest you do not bother showing up as he may stand you up.
Except you sent a text to confirm the date late, and he is yet to see it; his failure to respond should be treated as a deal-breaker, and there’s no point wasting your time on such a person; it is best you move on.
Learning how to confirm a date without sounding desperate involves you being casual and natural. Asking specific questions is always a good start. For instance, you can ask if your date has a favorite restaurant, or you can confirm if they will prefer you pick them or drop them off.
Many of us are familiar with the classic handshake after a date. So, it can be a bit off the edge to consider hugging or what it may signify. While hugging after a first date is alright, you will need to confirm your date is okay with it because hugging indicates that you are comfortable with the girl, and she feels the same way.
In a nutshell, you need to ensure that you and your date had a good time and are on the same page about progressing your relationship.
Irrespective of other people’s opinions on how dating has evolved, there will always be the need to confirm a date. It is polite, avoids miscommunication, and expresses interest.
I hope you enjoyed reading this list and picked a thing or two on how to confirm a date without sounding desperate. If yes, make sure you put this to practice and share your new knowledge with your friends. Also, don’t forget to leave a comment behind.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.