Being in a relationship can open our eyes to a lot of things. That includes the type of person, and partner, that we are deep down. Sometimes, you’re not going to like what you see.
Maybe your partner has pointed out that there are problems in the relationship, and they are stemming from you. It can be a tough pill to swallow, but there are a lot of ways that you can grow as a person and partner in a relationship. There are ways that you can become a better partner to help save your relationship.
- 1 23 Tips To Help You Become A Better Person And Partner
- 1.1 1. Share responsibilities
- 1.2 2. Give them a back rub
- 1.3 3. Listen to your partner’s needs
- 1.4 4. Spend more time together
- 1.5 5. Make sure you spend quality time together
- 1.6 6. Take responsibility for your actions
- 1.7 7. Pay attention to your sex life
- 1.8 8. Don’t be selfish in the bedroom
- 1.9 9. Show your partner you love them
- 1.10 10. Give them assurance
- 1.11 11. Look on the bright side of things
- 1.12 12. Try one kind of thing per day
- 1.13 13. Don’t focus on being right
- 1.14 14. Take care of them when they need you to
- 1.15 15. Never expect them to be your parent
- 1.16 16. Find your happiness
- 1.17 17. Enjoy your own hobbies
- 1.18 18. A good partner is supportive
- 1.19 19. Learn empathy
- 1.20 20. Consider what you think a good partner is
- 1.21 21. Self-love is important
- 1.22 22. Develop healthy communication skills
- 1.23 23. Agree to disagree on things
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
23 Tips To Help You Become A Better Person And Partner
Becoming a better partner isn’t just about how you act towards your significant other, it’s also about how you interact with other people in general. When you take time to think of others, and their needs, you slowly start to gravitate towards becoming a nicer, better person.
While these 23 tips are wonderful, you’ll need to remember that change doesn’t happen overnight. You might get started tomorrow, but realize that you don’t feel an internal change immediately. That’s perfectly normal. True change takes time.
As you work on yourself, it’s important not to push yourself too hard. Instead, make one change at a time. Consider waiting a week to implement a new change. Taking things slowly will help you become a better person, ensure that you can maintain one change before implementing another, and will guarantee that true change happens.
Making too many changes too quickly can result in you feeling overwhelmed, and that’s where most people give up.
A common complaint from people in relationships is that they feel that they do more than the other person. Complaints like this often include things like taking care of the children, cleaning the house, making the money, etc. Don’t forget that a relationship is a partnership. You guys are a team in everything, including the workload.
A common solution to this problem is to simply divide the responsibilities of the relationship. If one person doesn’t mind doing dishes, and the other does, the person that doesn’t mind can do dishes while the other one cleans the kitchen after dinner. Sharing responsibilities is all about compromising to come up with a solution that you both like.
2. Give them a back rub
Showing someone that you love them doesn’t always have to be a grand gesture or involve buying them presents. Sometimes, we forget how important the little things in life are. Start bringing that back into your relationship with a cozy or sensual massage.
3. Listen to your partner’s needs
When most people listen, they listen with the intent to respond. This can work out wonderfully and often makes you a great conversationalist. The problem is that it can also involve not truly understanding what the other person is saying.
When your boyfriend or girlfriend expresses their needs, listen to them with the intent of becoming a good partner so that you can better meet their needs.
4. Spend more time together
Spending time with your partner will not only help you on your journey to becoming a good partner, but it is also wonderful for your relationship. You will find that you’re more intimate with your boyfriend and that you seem to care about their needs more as the two of you become closer.
If you’re trying to bring back your relationship from the dead and aren’t sure where to start, try doing some of the things that the two of you did when you were first dating. Take a trip down memory lane and revisit the spot where you had your first date. Other great ideas for spending time together include:
- Going to the movies
- Schedule a weekly date night
- Cuddle on the couch and watch your favorite television show
- Have dinner at the kitchen table together
- Enjoy long conversations before going to bed at night
When you enjoy time with your partner, make sure that you are in tune with your partner. Don’t do group outings or get sucked into on your phone. Things like that take away from you focusing on your partner.
5. Make sure you spend quality time together
Sitting in the same room might be something that both of you are doing, but it’s important that the two of you are able to focus on each other. When you spend time with your partner, make sure that you put your phone away. Have conversations with them. Ask about their day. Here are some great conversation starters if you’re not sure what to talk about.
6. Take responsibility for your actions
When you admit that you have also played a role in the relationship problems, it takes away from arguing about whose fault something is. It shows responsibility and maturity. More than anything, it opens the door for effective communication.
7. Pay attention to your sex life
The direction your love life is headed in inside the bedroom says a lot about your life outside the bedroom. Couples that aren’t connected or aren’t happy don’t usually have explosive, mind-blowing fun in between the sheets. Paying attention to what’s going on in the bedroom can help you tell which direction your relationship is headed in.
8. Don’t be selfish in the bedroom
Speaking of sex, this is another area where you need to keep their needs in mind. If you want to become a better partner, don’t forget this area. Try to communicate about sex, and ask what they want or need. Make sure that you’re both satisfied in the bedroom for a happier, healthier relationship.
9. Show your partner you love them
When you do things for your partner, it will let your partner know that you care. Making them dinner, listening when they talk, and remembering things that are important to them are all great ways to show that you care. Other ways to use your actions to show your partner that you care include:
- Random text messages to tell them you are thinking of them
- Surprise them with presents
- When they say they like something, do it again
- Use open body language when you’re together (this also helps with the communication)
Showing your partner that you care will help you be a better partner, and will make your significant other feel more loved than ever.
10. Give them assurance
Everyone loves to know that they are wanted and needed. Remind your partner of how much they mean to you by telling them every so often. Send them a paragraph in the morning, or surprise them with a sweet text on their lunch break. Some great ideas for a quick text are:
- Don’t ever forget how much you mean to me
- You mean the world to me
- Love you forever
- I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you
- I love you
- I still think about you as much as I used to when we first started dating
Everyone needs a little bit of reassurance every so often. Sometimes, it can be hard to ask. Instead, offer your partner random reassurance to make sure that they don’t feel insecure in the relationship.
11. Look on the bright side of things
When you take a positive approach to life, it will show in everything that you do. This includes your relationship. Try to see the glass as half full instead of half empty. If you’ve been feeling pessimistic more often than not, these tips can help you feel a little bit more positive.
12. Try one kind of thing per day
Instead of trying to make drastic changes overnight, become a better partner one baby step at a time. You can start by doing one nice thing a day. Make them a cup of coffee. Give them a surprise kiss. Pick up something that reminds you of them while you’re out running errands.
Becoming a better partner doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it takes time. This is why it’s important to simply work on one step at a time.
13. Don’t focus on being right
When we disagree with people, we can tend to focus on being right instead of the issue at hand. Instead of focusing on who is right and who is wrong, focus on effective communication to be a better person.
In the beginning, this can be difficult. If you have a quick temper, consider taking a break from your partner to calm down. Then, resume the conversation when you are able to think logically and communicate effectively.
14. Take care of them when they need you to
When we’re sick, it can be nice to have someone bring us a bowl of soup. Make sure they have a blanket if they’re cold. Just try not to go overboard or you slowly wind up in mothering territory, which can be overbearing. Take care of them to be a better partner.
15. Never expect them to be your parent
It’s one thing to be taken care of when you’re sick. Expecting your partner to be your parent is a bit much. Clean up your own messes. If you can do something for yourself, do it for yourself. It’s no one else's job to constantly take care of you like your parents used to. You’ll instantly become a better partner when you take care of your own needs.
16. Find your happiness
Too often, people make their partners responsible for their happiness. It’s not your job to make anyone else happy. Your partner is also not responsible for your emotions. Instead, find your own happiness.
Not only will this take the weight off your partner’s shoulders. You’ll discover that it makes you feel more positive about life in general.
17. Enjoy your own hobbies
In a healthy relationship, both people have lives outside of the relationship. Find a new hobby. Spend time with your friends. Visit your family solo. Being a good partner involves focusing on having a healthy relationship. This includes enjoying your personal space and making sure that your significant other has enough space too.
18. A good partner is supportive
If you don’t know what your partner’s life goals or dreams are, it’s time to ask. Then, you need to support them. (Even if you think it’s lame.) Encourage them to take a class or switch jobs so that they can be truly happy as well. When your partner feels supported, they also feel loved.
19. Learn empathy
Most people mistake sympathy and empathy for the same thing. These two are very different. Sympathy is when you feel sorry for someone. For example, imagine a little girl dropped her ice cream cone. You feel so bad for her. Pity is another word to describe that feeling.
Empathy is when you are able to feel what the other person is feeling. You put yourself in their shoes, and see things from their perspective. Instead of feeling pity for the little girl, you would feel sad because she’s feeling sad.
Empathy helps you better understand what someone else is going through. When you can see things from your partner’s point of view, you’re instantly going to be a better partner and have a healthier relationship.
20. Consider what you think a good partner is
Often, we fulfill our own thoughts about relationships. If we have the misconception that relationships are abusive, we tend to attempt to provoke the other person in an attempt to validate our own beliefs.
This is why it’s important to have a moment of reflection regarding how you see relationships. Then, think about what you think a good partner does in relationships. You can even discuss this with your partner during a healthy conversation to make sure that you’re both on the same page.
21. Self-love is important
If you’re out to become a better person, don’t forget to love yourself. Accept your flaws, work on things you don’t like, and take a moment to realize how absolutely amazing you are! If you’re struggling with self-love, remind yourself of the great things about yourself every morning. Taking a few minutes to give your self-esteem a boost will help you gravitate towards loving yourself.
22. Develop healthy communication skills
A lot of problems in a relationship stem from unhealthy communication skills. We’re all guilty of saying nothing is wrong when something is, in fact, very wrong. When we take the time to discuss things that bother us using healthy communication, relationships start to gradually improve. This is because both you and your partner’s needs are more likely to be met in a healthier relationship.
23. Agree to disagree on things
Sometimes, it can be hard when the person you spend every day with doesn’t see things from your point of view. In a relationship, you’re going to come across this scenario pretty often. Unfortunately, it can lead to quite a few arguments.
Instead of trying to prove the other person wrong, or try to convince them that you are right, simply agree to disagree and let things go. This can save you from a lot of discussions escalating into arguments.
Relationships that are strong are built on a solid foundation of respect, trust, and healthy communication skills. They are based on both partners expressing empathy for each other, and on both people wanting to have a strong, healthy relationship. Strong relationships have two wonderful partners.
If your relationship is in danger of being over, it’s time to have a serious talk with your partner. Discuss any issues there might be in the relationship and maintain your cool while doing so. Then, ask them for another chance so that you can be the partner that they need.
When you speak with your partner, use kind, respectful words. Listen to what they say without being defensive. Use kind gestures to show you care, such as affection, back massages, or random kisses. Treat your partner the same way that you would like for your partner to treat you throughout the relationship.
Show him that you love him with both your words and your actions. Put away your phone when you’re with each other to spend true quality time together. Discuss issues, and then work them out as a team instead of arguing about them. Respect what he has to say instead of invalidating his opinions and feelings.
When a relationship is dying, you’ll notice that the love seems to be gone. You’ll spend more time away from each other, fights are not resolved and your life together in the bedroom is headed downhill fast. When a relationship is dying, every aspect of the relationship slowly gets worse.
Becoming a better person in a relationship takes a lot of work, but it’s usually well worth it in the end. What would you add to the list?
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.