Kissing is undoubtedly one of many ways to show love and affection in a relationship. Apart from hugging and holding hands which is platonic, it is the first intimate contact between two lovers.
However, kisses could break a relationship if it ends up bad. Because, people assume that if you’re a bad kisser, you may be bad in bed as well. I know you’d rather avoid the bad reputation, plus, the science of kissing isn’t so hard. If it’s your first kiss, it’s normal to feel anxious. However, kissing is just obeying what our lips are telling us to do.
Of course, you’ll want to be careful not to bite, or be sloppy, but once you master the basics, you’ll be good to go. Research has shown that kissing causes a chemical reaction in the body that makes your brain release oxytocin, making you want more.
So, the science of kissing is indeed valid and makes you feel more connected to your partner. Yes, a great kiss should be more natural and sensual, but there is a right way to kiss. So grab a snack and sit back, let me give you some tips on how to be a good kisser.
- 1 23 Tips On How To Be A Good Kisser
- 1.1 1. Moisturize Your Lips
- 1.2 2. Don’t Eat Certain Foods
- 1.3 3. Foods-To-Go-With
- 1.4 4. Be Sure The Time Is Right
- 1.5 5. Lips First
- 1.6 6. Go With His Flow
- 1.7 7. Take The Lead
- 1.8 8. Don’t Kiss Only The Lips
- 1.9 9. Listen To Your Partner
- 1.10 10. Communicate With Body Gestures
- 1.11 11. Shut Your Eyes
- 1.12 12. Communicate Verbally
- 1.13 13. Avoid Being Sloppy
- 1.14 14. Stop For Some Eye Contact
- 1.15 15. Relax And Enjoy The Moment
- 1.16 16. Kiss Passionately
- 1.17 17. Don’t Compare
- 1.18 18. Ask For Consent
- 1.19 19. It Doesn’t Have To Lead To Sex
- 1.20 20. Whisper Some Words
- 1.21 21. Kiss A Lot More
- 1.22 22. Explore More
- 1.23 23. A Second Chance
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
23 Tips On How To Be A Good Kisser
1. Moisturize Your Lips
This is a normal health hack to keep your lips hydrated. So it doesn’t just help with a good make-out session, it also keeps your lips healthy.
If it feels a bit awkward to use a lip balm just before kissing, you could try drinking some water. Why go through the fuss? Well, no one wants to kiss a dry or cracked lower lip. Keeping them moisturized makes your lips more attractive and soft when his lips touch yours.
2. Don’t Eat Certain Foods
I know you may not see a make-out session coming except you intentionally plan for it but try to avoid certain foods when your chances of kissing are high. If this is not your first kiss, then you know how onions, garlic, or fish could be offsetting when kissing another person.
So, avoid the embarrassment and either freshen up right after (use something extra minty) or eat something that won’t leave a foul smell behind.
We’re all humans and we can’t always avoid certain things. This is more like a remedy if you can’t avoid number two.
A couple of things help reduce bad breath which include carrots, yogurt, acidic fruits like lime or lemon. But in certain cases, those could be hard to find. So, it would be best to have a pack of mint chewing gum or candy. If you have none, you could just make a joke out of it to help reduce the awkwardness.
4. Be Sure The Time Is Right
I know we all want that romantic moment where we have a hot make-out session with the love of our lives or our crush.
It can’t be so romantic if you’re in a family reunion, a get-together with friends, or cooking with grandma for a Christmas celebration. If you have a cold, it still doesn’t feel right even though a few people still make out during these times. It’s more comfortable when the time is right.
5. Lips First
This is the fun part, after such a perfect preparation for this romantic moment, you really don’t want to ruin it by rushing into it. Lean in slowly with a peck on his lips first to see how he reacts. Continue kissing with your lips only until you both gradually start using your tongues. Make sure you don’t start with the tongue first to avoid making it forceful or too fast. Except you’re both used to each other and you know what you like.
6. Go With His Flow
There are more emotions involved here, so if you don’t want to go too fast, just follow his lead. If he’s a bad kisser himself, that may not help very much. However, if he knows his stuff, just mirror his movements.
I’ll take the time to explain this. Remember your way of kissing is never the same as someone else’s. Be flexible enough to go with his flow especially when it is very different from yours. Indulge and observe, don’t forget it doesn’t hurt to learn something new.
7. Take The Lead
Yes. I know I said you should be flexible enough to go with his flow but if it doesn’t go right, take the lead. Start with his lower lip and explore that area before moving to the upper lip, taking both in your mouth at the same time is not a sleek move.
I remember my second bad kiss. It didn’t go well so I had to subtly introduce my own techniques to make things work. And it helped a lot. So, while some are domineering when kissing, others are patient enough and willing to learn. And you can never tell if you don’t try.
8. Don’t Kiss Only The Lips
Concentrating on the lips alone could make a boring make-out session especially if you do it for a long time. Kissing shouldn’t only be focused on the lips, kissing what our lips are telling us to will go a long way. What do I mean? When things get more intense, you’ll feel like exploring his whole body, if you’re comfortable enough with this guy then go for it.
Try kissing his chin, cheeks, earlobes, collarbone, maybe shoulder, and allow him to kiss yours too. Kissing what our lips crave makes the session more intense, plus you’ll definitely get more than a shudder out of him. You could also introduce soft tongue biting or lip biting just to spice it all up. Just remember not to bite too hard.
9. Listen To Your Partner
It’s not just about you, it’s about him as well. Your techniques may be different from his so it’s best you observe him. Pay attention to his body gestures when you do certain things like lip biting, tongue biting, or other uncommon make-out techniques. If he feels comfortable with them then it’s fine but if he doesn’t, you can try doing other things you’ve observed he’s comfortable with.
10. Communicate With Body Gestures
For more comfort or more flexibility and less tension, you could try making your hands busy naturally. For instance, you could move your hands a bit to the back of his neck, head, or better still hold his face while you’re both still kissing. Sometimes, you can use the tips of your fingers to stroke his hair. It helps to ease the tension and makes the kiss longer and more enjoyable.
11. Shut Your Eyes
Personally, I just learned to close my eyes while kissing because I wanted to see what my partner’s face looked like up close. I know some people like keeping them open too.
But here’s the trick; the eyes are one of the senses that distract. If you shut them, automatically you shut down a lot of thoughts and you get your attention away from other things that are not relevant at the moment.
12. Communicate Verbally
Verbal communication is very necessary while kissing especially if you’re not enjoying it as much as you expected to. Take a few-seconds break to talk to him about it if you feel it’s not going too well.
Listen to him as well if he has anything to say or suggest how it can work better. He could remind you of something you did earlier that made the kiss deeper. You can also ask him if he would like you to do anything to turn him on. After the little talk, try again.
13. Avoid Being Sloppy
Yes, kisses could sometimes make you lose control of yourself, especially when you’re really into the person you’re kissing or the kiss itself.
Swallow excessive saliva so it doesn’t make things messy. Also, try to remain on the same page with him. It’s like a couple, dancing, if you go faster than him or you go offbeat, there’s disharmony. As I said before, the science of kissing is easy, keep the rhythm, close your eyes, and let the passion lead and not control you.
14. Stop For Some Eye Contact
You’ll be out of breath if you and your partner keep at it without stopping for necessary breaks. However, even when your lips part, you want to keep the moment passionate. The best way to do this is by looking at him in the eyes right after. He’ll know you want more, and once you’re ready, go back in for some more.
15. Relax And Enjoy The Moment
I know this can be a hard thing to do. But sometimes, you can’t help thinking about a lot of things you feel need to be treated as urgent. You can miss out on certain things if you focus on the moment.
Your thoughts keep wandering and you can’t really feel the kiss. Calm down, let this kiss make you feel good. Remember a first kiss is a moment you can’t have again. If you do, it won’t be the same as this one. Stay in the moment, every other thought can wait.
16. Kiss Passionately
Passion shows how much you want something and it’s one way to express our true desires. So when you’re kissing, free your nerves and let your body dance to it.
From experience, I unconsciously moan when I kiss and it feels good. I know most people save it or believe the moaning stage is reserved for when you’re having sex but you can do this when you’re kissing too.
A few talks with my male friends have made me understand they love women that moan when they’re making out. You can also pull each other in for better body contact and intimacy.
17. Don’t Compare
I am guilty of this, but I'll tell you what; I got to understand that you need to let your past go to enjoy your present. I’m not sure you’d like it if you discover he’s secretly comparing you to his previous partners. So it’s best not to do it. As we all know, different people have different likes, dislikes, skills, and techniques. So, find the positives and flow with them. After all, your previous partners had some flaws too.
18. Ask For Consent
If you’ve been seeing him for a while, and it looks like you’re both into each other, just ask him politely. If the kiss doesn’t happen naturally, don’t forget to ask for consent.
Sometimes, men feel shy or skeptical about kissing a lady first so if you initiate it, it makes it easier for them to flow in. You can apologize if you lean in for a peck and he reacts against it. But it's always good to be sure he wants it as well. Men respect women that respect them enough not to assume things about them.
19. It Doesn’t Have To Lead To Sex
As beautiful, passionate, and wild as kisses or make-out sessions get, your first motive should not be sex. Although, kissing is termed as foreplay, take some time to enjoy it first.
I feel if you can be comfortable enough to communicate with your partner at this stage then taking it to the next level shouldn’t be complicated because you both have already mastered each other’s moves. Take some time to enjoy this stage first. That way, you’ll make sure there’s no tension or anything distracting you from enjoying the moment.
20. Whisper Some Words
The first time my friend described this to me I thought it sounded irritating until I experienced it during one of my make-out sessions.
It sounds really romantic. Being kissed and whispered to turns a lot of people on. When I experienced it for the first time and I reciprocated, his kissing intensified as well. So, if you whisper something nice to him even if it’s witty, that makes it hot.
21. Kiss A Lot More
As we all know, practice makes perfect. The more you kiss, the better you become.
More importantly, kissing what our lips are telling us to will make things even better. After your first kiss with your partner, it’s time to perfect your skills. Start slowly, then let your passions lead you to kiss his mouth, cheeks, forehead, neck, chest, and wherever else your body leads you.
22. Explore More
This is my favorite part. Go out and see how it feels to kiss in different environments and even with people around. You can kiss in a club or in a cinema while seeing a good movie, in a pool, or in a bus. Leave your confined spaces and try out new adventures. Take photos while doing it and reminisce afterward. Let it be one of the things you remember that makes you happy.
23. A Second Chance
For the bad kissers out there, they deserve a second chance. Don’t tick them off completely especially if you both had good times together. I didn’t give one of them a second chance and I regretted it because he was such a good chef and gentleman and I love good food.
It felt so bad. He kept saying he could correct any mistakes he made but I guess I was too impatient to listen. So you need to be open to be a great kisser. So don’t write off a crus who was sloppy the first time, rather, lead him into a more clean and passionate one.
Being a great kisser does not happen in a minute. As I said above, constant practice, moist lips, and a couple of other romantic gestures are tricks to make you good at kissing.
Not everyone will be able to tell you this. But if your partner is not so enthusiastic about kissing you, he’ll either pull away or stiffen. However, if he keeps leaning in and even moans, you may be doing something right.
There’s no certain thing that makes you a good kisser. If you can softly combine pecking, a little bit of tongue and at the same time observe and flow with your partner then you’re gradually becoming good at kissing.
It depends on the kind of guy you kiss. Most guys love to French kiss with a little tongue while some others like more tongue. So it’s best to observe your partner and go with the flow.
Making out involves a lot of fun things but there are some don'ts involved as well. A few of them include starting with tongue or lip biting first. Making smacking or slurping noises may be a turn-off as well.
To be a good kisser, remember you have to put in the right effort and make compromises. Because it’s not just about the way you kiss, it’s the passion you put into it. If you enjoyed this article please leave a comment below and share it with your loved ones.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.