How To Ask Out A Friend (11 Steps To Winning Dates)

Are you wondering how to ask out a friend? Make sure you are ready, first of all, because you’ll want to make sure some level of attraction is there. If you can’t imagine yourself kissing this guy, you probably should remain in the friendzone. Ask yourself what kind of feelings you have for your friend. If they are just feelings of care and love, it may be a friendship only. 

However, if you have romantic feelings for him or her, you might just have a chance at getting out of the friendzone and into his or her heart!

Once you are sure that there is a level of attraction and romance there, you will want to ask a close friend for a pep talk so that you can ask your friend out on a date. Finally, you will have all the tools that you need for asking someone out, so you can get to ask a friend out! 

Are you still a little nervous about asking a friend out on a date? Does the thought of getting rejection make you want to throw up? Today, we’ll cover the top steps to getting through the process of asking someone out on a date.

Steps For Asking A Good Friend Out

1. Find out if he or she is single

Talk to your mutual friends to determine if your friend is available. Otherwise, you might put yourself in an awkward situation with your friend. Group activities could make your guy friend more comfortable. Ask your friends what they think of that idea. 

2. Smile and make eye contact

smile and make eye contact

Having a positive, cheerful attitude will help your confidence as you approach your friend to ask him or her out. Try smiling a lot to show you are in a good mood. If you don’t really feel up to smiling, think of something you love or a funny show you’ve recently seen! That should help!

3. Be playful and talkative

It’s a good idea to flirt a little with your friends if you think you want to be more than friends. What could you talk about that would encourage them to open up with you? Maybe touch his (or her) arm as you talk to him (or her). Play with your hair a little or bat your eyelashes. This will show you are in a playful mood and like him or her. 

4. Ask him or her about his hobbies, interests, and passions

You might think about your friend’s hobbies, interests, and passions when you ask them out. Where would they like to go on a date? What kind of things do they talk about the most? Where do they usually hang out?

5. Excitedly ask them interesting questions

Once you get your friends to talk about different things they are passionate about, you can begin to ask plenty of interesting questions! Why do they love trains so much? What made them originally interested in trains? Where did this passion begin? What is their favorite thing about their passion? Why? Get creative, woman (or man)! You can do this!!

6. Listen like a pro!

Listening is one of those skills that you really have to master over time, but you can start by following some basic guidelines. First of all, do not talk while they are talking. Let your friends share as much as they’d like without interruption. Just nod your head and show open body language to demonstrate that you are, in fact, listening intently.

Second, make sure you are paying attention to what is being said. When you ask questions later, you want to mean them, you want to know what you’re talking about, and you don’t want to sound stupid. If you were to ask a question that was clearly already answered several times, it would show you weren’t really listening.

Finally, as you stay silent while he or she talks and pay attention to the details discussed, be sure you think about the follow-up questions you will ask next. What would show you were paying close attention? 

How can you demonstrate an interest in what he or she said? Get creative, and use your head as they are talking. Think about what to ask!

7. Ask them out to an event or activity

ask them out to an event or activity

Where do you think they would enjoy going? Show confidence when you ask them out. It will bring forth a level of attractiveness that is unmeasurable! Know that you are a confident woman or man who has the ability to ask someone out on a date without hesitation. 

Even if you have social anxiety, you are capable of doing this. Just be confident!

8. Be flexible and understanding

If your friend decides that they cannot go to that specific event or something, you can ask them to go somewhere else at a different time. Be flexible and know that just because they could not make that event doesn’t mean they don’t want to go with you. You can change the plans until it works with their schedule. 

Now, if they say no several times, you should probably not continue to ask them out because they are clearly not interested. Just try to take the cues of the person you are asking out. What are they saying with their body language? What tone of voice are they using? Just be easy-going with whatever plans you had in mind for your friend.

9. Make specific plans

If your friend says yes, you can make specific plans to meet them at the location or pick them up. Usually, the man feels more comfortable picking up the woman, but it is the 21st century, so it’s anyone’s guess! See what your man friend wants to do if that’s the case. He may want you, the woman, to pick HIM up from his house! You never know!

In case he is a little shy, you might want to have a specific idea of what you want to do already in store. For example, you could say that you thought the two of you could leave the city around 7:00 PM to arrive at the location at 7:15 PM. Then, you could enjoy the event, and afterward, the two of you could stroll the park to check out the lights.

Whatever plan the two of you have agreed upon, it will probably be a lot of fun! Just have a game plan ready in case he doesn’t want to make the plan but wants to know what you have in store for the date. He may prefer it if you have a set schedule. It really depends on what type of personality he is. 

He may be very easy-going! If so, you can go with the flow and just have a general plan ready for you guys! Be prepared for whatever makes him the most comfortable!

10. Accept rejection as a lesson, not a failure

accept rejection as a lesson, not a failure

After you’ve been rejected, you may feel quite upset. Don’t let it get to you too much, though. You can view this as a lesson, not as a complete flop in the mud. Focus on the relationship you have with this person. Will your relationship go back to normal? Maybe not right away, but over time, you should be able to restore it. 

Just give them space for now. Let the situation simmer a bit before you try to rekindle the relationship, getting things back to normal. What you did was brave and courageous! You can remember that you tried hard and took a chance, which is very admirable. It isn’t the end of the world. Things will smooth over and go back to the way they were.

11. Get ready for the big date

So, you’ve landed a date, huh? Congratulations! You’ve done a wonderful thing, and you have now seen success! That’s awesome! Now, you need to pick out what you will wear. Make sure you dress appropriately for the occasion! You might make some index cards that say what you plan to talk about. This will help prepare you.

It’s okay to rehearse a little bit ahead of time. Just stay confident in everything you do to prepare for this date, and you’ll do just fine!


Is it a good idea to ask out a friend?

If you are certain that it won’t ruin your friendship, you can surely ask a friend out on a date. If you are best friends and know this person has a crush on someone else, it’s probably not the best idea to ask him or her out on a date. 

How do you ask a friend out over text?

You can give them a compliment like, “You have the best singing voice!” Then, you can follow that text up with a specific request for a date. Say something like, “I bet you anything that I can kick your butt in a karaoke contest!” End it with a smiley face!

Can asking someone out ruin a friendship?

It definitely can ruin a friendship because you are letting them know that you are interested in them, that you like them, or even that you love them! If they don’t share your feelings, you may be in for a shock. Get a good feeling about what they think first.

How do I ask my crush out without getting rejected?

Unfortunately, rejection is part of the dating process. It comes whether we want it to or not, but you can view it as a learning opportunity rather than a failure, and you won’t get hurt so much. Just take it in stride; be very flexible and easy-going about the whole thing.

Is it wrong for a girl to ask a guy out?

No way! Girls can definitely ask guys out for fun! Sometimes, we have to because guys are too shy or scared of rejection to ask us out! You might try flirting a bit before asking a guy out. You’ll ease yourself into the “asking him out” part that way.

In Summary

What is your experience in asking out a friend on a date? Have you seen more successes or failures? Do you think it’s a good idea to ask a friend out on a date? We’d love to hear from you! Please share in the comments section, and pass this along!

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