Asking a guy out on a date face to face is nerve-racking and not for the faint-hearted. Fortunately, there are other ways of asking a guy out in this day and age. Are you tired of waiting for your crush to make the first move? Take the initiative and ask him out through text message.
Asking a guy out through text is a simple yet effective way of asking someone out. It may seem like going on a date with this person is impossible, but how would you know if you don’t ask, right? Plus, asking someone out over text relieves some of the pressure associated with doing so face to face.
You may want to go over to this person and ask him on a date, but that takes a lot of courage. That’s why it’s important to know how to ask a guy out over text. Before you pick up the phone and message this person, make sure you get to know him a bit first.
Learn what you can about the person, and use the information to plan accordingly. Continue reading to discover how to ask a guy out over text and get a positive response.
- 1 33 Tips On How To Ask A Guy Out Over Text
- 1.1 1. Build A Good Relationship With Him
- 1.2 2. Warm Up The Conversation
- 1.3 3. Gauge His Responses
- 1.4 4. Try A Direct Approach
- 1.5 5. Be Smooth In Your Approach
- 1.6 6. Include Some Hints In Your Text
- 1.7 7. Personalize The Text
- 1.8 8. Be Confident In Your Approach
- 1.9 9. Frame The Question As An Offer
- 1.10 10. Ask Open-Ended Questions
- 1.11 11. Keep Things Simple
- 1.12 12. Attach A Specific Timeline And Activity
- 1.13 13. Try Not To Suggest An Activity He Doesn't Like
- 1.14 14. Leverage Your Shared Interests
- 1.15 15. Send Well-Written Texts
- 1.16 16. Start With A Preamble
- 1.17 17. Ensure The Message Is Genuine
- 1.18 18. Proofread The Message To Ensure It Makes Sense
- 1.19 19. Double-Check Your Message Before Sending It
- 1.20 20. Ensure The Feeling Is Mutual Before Sending Out The Text
- 1.21 21. Avoid Placing Any Undue Pressure On Him
- 1.22 22. Try Not To Sound Desperate
- 1.23 23. Use Templates To Compose Your Texts
- 1.24 24. Avoid The Use Of Vague Words
- 1.25 25. Have Fun With The Texting
- 1.26 26. Try Not To Second Guess Yourself
- 1.27 27. Give Him Ample Time To Reply
- 1.28 28. Don't Send The Same Message Twice
- 1.29 29. Engage Yourself While Waiting For A Response
- 1.30 30. Send A Follow-Up Message If You Don't Get A Reply
- 1.31 31. Have An Open Mind
- 1.32 32. Try An Indirect Approach
- 1.33 33. Develop A Fallback Plan
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
33 Tips On How To Ask A Guy Out Over Text
1. Build A Good Relationship With Him
Before you contemplate on how to ask a guy out over text, ensure you have a healthy relationship with him first. Friendship plays a vital role in developing a relationship. It allows you to get to know each other better and learn things that may prove useful later. What's more? it helps you make up your mind on the guy and avoid certain issues in the future.
2. Warm Up The Conversation
No matter how close you are to your crush, never be too forward when asking him out. Being too forward might be counterproductive as he might get tensed or misinterpret your intentions. Either way, your objective of going on a date with him might remain unfulfilled. So, before you ask him out, try and warm up the conversation to ease the tension and get him more relaxed.
3. Gauge His Responses
It would help if you gauged how he responds to the prospect of going out with you. If he replies to your text with one-word answers, then it’s obvious that he may not be interested in going out with you.
Observing this person’s actions, body language, and reactions will enable you to get a sense of the expected outcome. It will also help you decide on whether to ask him out or not.
4. Try A Direct Approach
Instead of going in circles or trying to play it cool, why not be direct about your intentions. Summon the courage and strength to compose a message that accurately passes across your real intent. Being natural is a subtle way of saying you know what you want. Notwithstanding, before you try to be more direct, make sure the guy has feelings for you to avoid rejection.
5. Be Smooth In Your Approach
Irrespective of the approach you take, being smooth helps guarantee a positive response. You can ask your crush out without sounding desperate or making your feelings very obvious. Being smooth involves casually texting him and asking if he wants to hang out. It also helps you avoid awkward moments that typically arise in this sort of situation.
6. Include Some Hints In Your Text
If you're not predisposed to asking someone out directly, you can get him to ask you out instead. One way to do that is by providing some hints in the text to let him know that you are open to the idea of dating him. This strategy works perfectly in cases where both parties already harbor romantic feelings towards each other.
7. Personalize The Text
It's easier to get a feel of someone's body language when you face that person than through texts. If you want to make a good impression on him, ensure you make the message as personal as possible to spark up the chemistry. It will get you perfectly poised for a positive response.
8. Be Confident In Your Approach
Regardless of the approach, you adopt in asking someone out, ensure you maintain a cool, calm, and collected disposition. Being confident allows you to put away negative thoughts and doubts from your mind. Asking someone out is a two-way street as it can go either way. Regardless of how much the prospect scares you, summon up courage and go for it.
9. Frame The Question As An Offer
If you don't want to appear as being too forward, you can frame the message as an offer. Guys know a challenge when they see one and do not hesitate to take it up. Whether it is to see a movie, trying out a new restaurant downtown, or going fishing, casually make him the offer and watch him take the bait.
10. Ask Open-Ended Questions
If you're scared of being ignored or rejected, make sure you give yourself an exit by making the message an open-ended question. This type of question requires a critical response from the recipient of the message.
Additionally, it creates a platform for continuous discussion when the answer is negative. Start your text with phrases or words like “what if we…” or “how about we…”
11. Keep Things Simple
The simpler the message is, the better. Resist the urge to complicate things by spreading the message out into multiple texts. Sending the message in bits sends the signal that you are insecure and unsure of a positive outcome. The best thing to do is to keep the text as simple as possible to get the guy's attention and pass the correct message.
12. Attach A Specific Timeline And Activity
Don't just say something like, “do you want to go out with me sometime.” Ensure you include the proposed activity and timeline. For instance, “Hey, would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow” would prove more effective in getting him to agree. Besides, your crush will appreciate you for taking the stress of planning out of his hands.
13. Try Not To Suggest An Activity He Doesn't Like
Before you ask someone out, take note of what the person loves doing. Don't be presumptive in planning an activity for the date. Suggesting an activity that he doesn't like might get him uninterested and eventually make him turn you down. One way to get him to respond positively is by offering a time and activity that suits him.
One way to guarantee a positive response is to leverage shared interests. Ensure that the activity you mention in your message is something both of you have previously talked about and feel comfortable doing. That way, your guys would be interested, and it would be difficult for him to turn you down.
15. Send Well-Written Texts
You'd still find smartphone users that abbreviate words and write poorly. If you're looking to ask someone out, make sure to send a well-written message that makes sense. Most guys find texts that resemble gibberish a huge turn-off.
Avoid abbreviating words or phrases to help the recipient understand what you are trying to say. Additionally, pay attention to the autocorrect feature on your phone to ensure you correctly spell every word.
16. Start With A Preamble
The essence of beginning the text with a preamble is to give him a clue of what to expect next and gradually ease him into the conversation. You could say something along the lines of “Hey, wondering if you might…”
17. Ensure The Message Is Genuine
When you want to ask someone out, ensure you have genuine feelings for that person. Additionally, try and streamline your message to capture how you feel about him. Like ladies, guys also know when a lady is untrue about her feelings.
If you appear disinterested, he may assume that you are not really into him. Whatever you do, ensure your texts are genuine and straight from your heart.
18. Proofread The Message To Ensure It Makes Sense
Now that you have decided to make the first move by asking him out through text, ensure you thoroughly go through the message to ensure it makes sense. Proofreading helps you get rid of spelling mistakes or grammar errors. Little things such as bad grammar or spelling errors can serve as a turn-off or bring about a negative response.
19. Double-Check Your Message Before Sending It
This is a follow-up to the preceding tip. Double-checking your message before sending it helps you preserve the original message even after proofreading. Read it over and over to yourself to ensure that it has meaning. Better still, show the message to someone else to get an objective opinion on it.
20. Ensure The Feeling Is Mutual Before Sending Out The Text
One way to avoid rejection is to be sure that this guy feels the same way about you before sending out any messages. Being confident of his feelings for you takes away undue pressure, anxiety, and awkwardness that usually would have taken place. Additionally, it assures you that the guy would say “yes” to going out with you.
21. Avoid Placing Any Undue Pressure On Him
Your intention is to get him to go on a date with you and not stress him out or get him under any form of pressure. With that in mind, you need to avoid saying or doing anything that would get him tensed.
Most ladies don't know that the content or language used in their texts can place a guy under undue pressure. Often, guys say “no” to ladies to relieve themselves of the stress they feel at that moment.
22. Try Not To Sound Desperate
Even if you have known the guy for ages or just met him, ensure you play it cool. Go with the flow and watch how things play out between the two of you. You can be friendly, fun, and flirty at the same time without coming off as desperate. If your texts make you sound desperate, no guy would take you seriously or agree to go out with you.
23. Use Templates To Compose Your Texts
If you lack ideas on what to send, there are numerous templates online you can use to create your custom message. Instead of sending a message that carries little, do some research, and get templates that resonate with you and how you feel. Templates help reduce the margin for mistakes and errors and ensure your message hits home.
24. Avoid The Use Of Vague Words
The use of words that aren't very precise will confuse your crush about your intentions or motives. If you want to ask someone out by texting them, ensure the message is understandable and straightforward.
Using vague words will make the message difficult to understand and make things awkward for you. The message should be clear about your intentions of asking him to go on a date with you.
25. Have Fun With The Texting
Always remember that dating is all about building relationships and having fun. Don't lose yourself in the process or get carried away by it for whatever reason. Whether he agrees to go out with you or not, ensure you have fun and stay focused on the positives. This is one way to ask a guy out over text without being afraid of rejection.
26. Try Not To Second Guess Yourself
The level of confidence you display when asking someone out, plays an integral role in determining the venture's success. If you have decided to take the initiative to ask someone out, try not to second guess that decision. Furthermore, if you have a message planned out in your head, stick to it, and have faith in yourself when sending it to him.
27. Give Him Ample Time To Reply
When you ask a guy out over text, you must give him enough time to respond. It's not guaranteed anywhere that you'd get a quick and positive response. Chances are, the text caught him off guard, and he hasn't wrapped his head around you asking him out.
28. Don't Send The Same Message Twice
Often, we grow so impatient while anticipating a response that we resend the same message twice. Resending the same message makes you come off as desperate, and I'm sure you don't want that. Like I mentioned in the preceding tip, give this guy enough time to send in his reply.
29. Engage Yourself While Waiting For A Response
The moments leading up to getting a response can get you agitated and tense, which is unhealthy for you. Instead of getting yourself worked up, why not get something to keep yourself busy while you wait.
Engaging yourself with something worthwhile would take your mind off the matter for the period you spend awaiting his response.
30. Send A Follow-Up Message If You Don't Get A Reply
Most ladies are fond of jumping to conclusions when a response is not forthcoming. It's wise to give your man the benefit of the doubt if you don't get a reply immediately. Chances are, he didn't get the message or forgot to send a reply. Instead of assuming the worst, send him a follow-up message to know if he received the first message.
31. Have An Open Mind
One way to deal with rejection is to have an open mind irrespective of the outcome. When you ask someone out over text, you should be prepared for whatever reply you get. Try not to take the rejection personally or as an attack on your person. Regardless of how difficult rejection can be, accept it in good faith and move on.
32. Try An Indirect Approach
If you're not open to putting yourself out there using a direct approach, you can try an indirect approach instead. Chances are, an indirect approach of asking your guy out may likely favor you. When asking someone out, you could type something along the lines of “dating you would be much more fun than flirting with you”.
33. Develop A Fallback Plan
It would be best if you have a backup plan in place. This will enable you to handle the rejection that may come up at the end. If the guy makes it clear that he can't go out with you at the end of the day, it makes no sense to waste any further time on the matter.
Implement your fallback plan and move on without delay. You would find someone else that would be interested in going out with you or maybe hang out with the girls instead. A plan ‘B’ is something you’ll need in case he says know, you shouldn’t be alone at this time so you don’t wallow in self-pity.
It's totally OK if you like the guy. Besides, texting takes away the pressure of asking him out face to face. If you're hoping for a positive response, ensure you take some time to compose a good text that would get him open to the prospect. A well-written text has been proven time and again to be effective.
There are several cute ways of asking a guy out that don’t portray you as desperate. You can intentionally send him an incomplete text message and allow him to figure out the rest for starters. Better still, take him out on his birthday as friends and then return as a couple.
Texting plays an integral role in enhancing communication between two people. One way to keep a conversation going over text is to send messages that require prompt responses. The goal is to get him interested and to engage him in a lengthy discussion. Another viable strategy is to ask him questions during the conversation occasionally.
Getting rejected by a guy can be terrible, but that shouldn't deter you from making your move. If not all, most guys love a confident and good-looking lady who knows what she wants. So, before asking him out, work on boosting your confidence and improving your looks. Additionally, endeavor to wear a lovely smile and be yourself.
Nowadays, many ladies prefer asking a guy out indirectly. Besides, who says you have to be direct with your approach. Start by asking him if he is ready to change his relationship status and watch things take off from there. Or, try something like “If you’re not doing anything later today, we could go out to that new restaurant, I heard their food is nice.”
The tips provided above are practical ways of asking a guy out via text message. I hope you found the list entertaining and insightful? If yes, kindly leave a comment in the dialog box below. Additionally, feel free to share this post with your loved ones across various networks.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.