You are probably wondering how to apologize to your boyfriend, but the technique you use depends on what you’ve done wrong.
Sometimes, you just need to say, “I’m sorry!” By saying, “I’m sorry” to your partner, you are showing that you have regret for what you did. A genuine apology typically requires you to say, “I’m sorry,” but you need to give a sincere apology. You can’t just say the words “I’m sorry” as a way to apologize and not mean it.
Even if you don’t feel that way right now, it may be the best way to get your partner on your side again. If you want to save your relationship, you may need to admit you made a mistake and start saying sorry to him. An apology can go a long way, but you need to be patient and give him time to process the apology in the best way he can.
Consider the feelings of your partner as you give your apology; try to be empathetic as you make amends for your wrongdoing, and you’ll surely win back the heart of your loved one! This article will talk about the various apologies and how to give them!
- 1 How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend If You Don’t Know What’s Wrong
- 1.1 1. Think about what you may have done wrong
- 1.2 2. Be calm
- 1.3 3. Have an open attitude
- 1.4 4. Ask what the problem is
- 1.5 5. Listen closely
- 1.6 6. Repeat what was said to you
- 1.7 7. Take the time to understand your part
- 1.8 8. Ask for permission to explain your side
- 1.9 9. Show that you heard what he said
- 1.10 10. Explain how you see things
- 1.11 11. Ask if he understands and see what he thinks
- 1.12 12. Give him time to respond
- 1.13 13. Listen intently, again
- 1.14 14. Determine what you can do to fix things
- 1.15 15. Find out how you can move forward in the relationship
- 2 How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend If You Cheated
- 2.1 1. If you decide it’s appropriate, own up to your affair
- 2.2 2. Determine why it happened and talk to your man
- 2.3 3. Stop all contact with the affair partner, if possible
- 2.4 4. Take a break from your relationship, if needed
- 2.5 5. Give your boyfriend time to cool off
- 2.6 6. Explain any details that he may want to know
- 2.7 7. Show that you are finished with your affair partner
- 2.8 8. Explain that something like this will never happen again
- 2.9 9. Tell your boyfriend how sorry you are
- 2.10 10. Ask for forgiveness
- 2.11 11. Work to build the trust back in the relationship
- 3 How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend If You Said Something You Didn’t Mean
- 3.1 1. Explain how sorry you are for what you said
- 3.2 2. Be sincere
- 3.3 3. Ask for forgiveness
- 3.4 4. Tell your boyfriend how much you really love him
- 3.5 5. Watch your mouth going forward
- 3.6 6. Remind your boyfriend why the two of you fell in love
- 3.7 7. Do something really sweet for him
- 3.8 8. Show your love
- 4 How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend If You Did Something Wrong
- 5 How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend If You Lied
- 6 FAQs
- 7 To Summarize
How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend If You Don’t Know What’s Wrong
1. Think about what you may have done wrong
Sometimes, we can tell when our men are upset with us, but we do not know why. You can sense a change in the relationship, some behavior that is out of the ordinary for your partner. If you don’t know what you did wrong, how can you ask for forgiveness? To start, really ponder on what you may have done wrong; think about what happened last.
2. Be calm
Remaining peaceful as you approach a problem is the greatest way to receive forgiveness. You need to show that you are genuinely sorry, and you can’t show that if you do not feel that it is true. Make sure you don’t approach your partner in a state of rage. Your attitude should be humble and sincere.
3. Have an open attitude
Another attribute you should have when you approach your boyfriend is an open attitude. This means you are not defensive or combative in your approach. Instead, you can stand there, face-to-face, and show a true desire to understand your wrongdoing.
4. Ask what the problem is
When trying to figure out the mistakes, you may have made, use the words, “What’s wrong?” However, don’t just say that; you should truly mean it. Approach your partner openly and honestly, receiving his words peacefully. Don’t just jump down his throat because he’s upset over something that you think is silly!
5. Listen closely
As your partner tries to explain what happened from his point of view, be sure to listen intently. Really hear the words he uses, and try to be empathetic. This means that you should try to see things as if you were walking in his shoes. How would you feel if the roles were reversed? What might make things better for you?
6. Repeat what was said to you
One part of listening well is repeating what you believe the other person said. If they said, “You left the trash out,” you might want to say, “I understand that you are upset because you think I left the trash out.” That may not be the best example since it’s something small, but you should understand the concept here.
You don’t have to say the exact thing that was said to you, but you need to show that you listened by repeating what you believe they meant by the words they used but in your own words this time. This way, if there is any confusion in what was said, it can be resolved at that moment, rather than having another misunderstanding on your hands.
For example, if your boyfriend is upset because he thinks you are taking your relationship for granted, he may say, “You don’t take care of me the way you should.” If you know what he really meant, go ahead and explain that. “I think you believe that I am not being as good of a girlfriend as I could be, given my job and abilities.”
7. Take the time to understand your part
When you realize the part you played in the misunderstanding or argument, you should take the time you need to think about it. You don’t want to lash out in anger. Ask for a break for the moment, so you can gather your thoughts appropriately.
8. Ask for permission to explain your side
If you are accused of something, the most effective way to apologize is to explain your side in a non-defensive manner. You don’t want to be combative when you are explaining the part you played in the cause of the fight.
You should also remain very calm and collected when you answer. That’s why it’s advisable for you to ask for permission to share your side of things.
9. Show that you heard what he said
There are several ways that you can do this. One is to repeat back what you heard, as mentioned. This will show that you listened to what he said. Another is to give nonverbal cues, such as nodding or placing your arm on his shoulder in a caring way. Finally, you can just say, “I’m sorry.” Then, you might explain what you are sorry about.
10. Explain how you see things
To prevent a misunderstanding from happening in the future, you might clarify the expectations you have for your relationship and what you believe his expectations are. Come to some kind of understanding as to what you will do in the future if a problem like this happens again.
11. Ask if he understands and see what he thinks
It’s a good idea to get your man’s opinion on how he sees things. What does he think about your ideas for resolution in your relationship? How would he like to resolve things? What does he think caused this problem? How does he think you can avoid something such as this from happening in the future? Does he understand what happened?
12. Give him time to respond
Be patient as you wait for his response; you don’t need to shake your legs impatiently or tap your fingernails on the countertop. Rather, be calm and humble in your approach to the problems you may have. A soft attitude will get you much further than an impatient one will.
13. Listen intently, again
To determine how your boyfriend wants to resolve the issue, you need to listen to his point of view. Be calm and know that what he has to say comes from his heart. He’s taking the time to explain his way of resolving things, and that may not be an easy thing for him to do. If you get the feeling he is really upset, pay close attention to his words.
14. Determine what you can do to fix things
He may come up with something that you can do to make up for your wrongdoing. You ought to consider doing this, provided it isn’t some unreasonable or ridiculous task. I was once upset with my boyfriend for doing something he should not have been doing, and I thought long and hard about what would make it up to me.
I decided he could send me a dozen roses at work the next day to make me feel better. It worked! He did it and never made that mistake again. Plus, I was able to put the horrible feeling out of my head and look forward to the future. I never brought the issue up again because I felt it was resolved, and our love could just grow from there.
15. Find out how you can move forward in the relationship
As mentioned, there may be a solution that will make you both feel better about what happened. Maybe it was a simple misunderstanding and can now be resolved! You just have to get creative to figure out how it won’t happen again. Just analyze what you went through and determine the best and easiest way that the two of you can move past this.
How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend If You Cheated
1. If you decide it’s appropriate, own up to your affair
If your man has caught you cheating, you need to explain what happened. However, if he did not catch you, and you’ve decided to end the affair, you might not want to bring it up. If he won’t find out in the future and it could end things between you two, you may want to keep it to yourself.
Yes, the guilt could nearly eat you alive, but what good comes of confessing other than making you feel better? If you are truly apologetic for your behavior and want the best for your man, you should just put it behind you and move forward. There is no reason to hurt him if you do not have to.
If you decide it’s better to own up to your affair, or if he’s caught you in the act, you should own up to it. Don’t try to deny it because that’ll only make him more upset. It just means that you are lying to him more than just during the affair. You said you weren’t having an affair (denying your behavior), and that’s a lie that he may discover later on!
2. Determine why it happened and talk to your man
Once you cheat, there’s always a chance that you will repeat this behavior, so it’s a good strategy to determine why the affair took place and discuss the reason with your boyfriend. Don’t do this in an accusatory manner, but rather from a problem-solving point of view. Why did you feel the need to stray? For what reason did it happen?
3. Stop all contact with the affair partner, if possible
Provided you do not HAVE to see this person in the future, you should quit talking to them and get rid of their belongings. Delete them from your phone, so you are not tempted to talk to them again. Plus, the last thing you want is for your current man to see your love affair partner’s name on your phone. That’d just remind him of the affair.
Suppose you do have to stay in contact with this person, like if you work with them or something, you might want to see about changing departments, supervisors, or locations. If that cannot be accomplished, you should restrict your interactions to be only professional and business-related.
You don’t want to talk about your personal life with him, and you shouldn’t talk about your affair partner with your true love. If he asks about this affair partner, you can give him the information he wants to know, but make sure you reassure him that there is nothing personal going on between you and that person!
4. Take a break from your relationship, if needed
If necessary, you may want to take some time for your apology to really sink in with your man. Apologies take time, especially if they are due to infidelity. Give him the time he needs to feel better about what happened. He may need space and time to process what happened and determine if he wants to stay with you in the future.
5. Give your boyfriend time to cool off
As mentioned, you should offer your man plenty of time to cool his jets, especially if he is over-the-top angry over something. You can give him an apology, but he may need time to really think about it. Some guys are just very reflective and want space to process their feelings.
6. Explain any details that he may want to know
If your man decides he wants the details of your affair, tell him what he wants to know. Only share the pertinent, G-rated facts unless he asks you a specific question. This is to save him from further hurt feelings.
7. Show that you are finished with your affair partner
You might want to show your man that you are done with this guy. You’ve ended the affair and have deleted this person and all remembrances of him from your phone and life. Show the proof that you are really sorry for what you’ve done. This way of apologizing shows you are changing your behavior.
8. Explain that something like this will never happen again
As part of your full disclosure and as part of your apology, be sure to let your man know that you will not repeat this act, that it will never happen again, and that you will give him a million apologies if needed to help this horrible feeling he is experiencing to go away.
9. Tell your boyfriend how sorry you are
You should say sorry to your man. Give a real apology, one that comes from the heart. Apologizing from the heart means that you show what you are feeling on the inside. Give him a dozen apologies if you need to; yes, it’s in the past, and you can only say sorry so many times, but if he needs it, isn’t saying, “I’m sorry” an easy thing to do?
Think about what you would like to hear in an apology in this case. Perhaps, to say sorry is not enough. You may have to offer him an apology while you show emotion. Maybe the hurt you’ve given your man has brought you to tears. That’s okay! It shows you love him and want your apology to fix what you’ve done wrong in the relationship.
10. Ask for forgiveness
As part of your apology, be sure to ask him to forgive you. “I know I may not deserve it right now, and I’m sorry for what happened, but could you consider forgiving me for what I’ve done?” Apologizing in that manner may help him feel better and know your apology is for real. With a sincere apology, you want this to happen!
11. Work to build the trust back in the relationship
A big part of an effective apology is showing you are sorry through your actions. How can you say sorry AND show you won’t do this again? Build the trust back in the relationship. What can you do to show your apology through your actions? Tell him where you’ll be. Be accountable, and most of all, be honest in everything you say to him.
Sometimes, the biggest part of a true apology is just showing you will not lie again. You can’t just keep telling him, “I’m sorry for the affair.” You must show you mean it by being honest from this day forward. Don’t keep things from him. If you do, your apology did not mean anything. Why say sorry if you don’t really mean it? Be true to who you really are!
How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend If You Said Something You Didn’t Mean
1. Explain how sorry you are for what you said
This type of apology takes finesse because you’ve already opened your big mouth and said something you should not have said. For this reason, you must explain, “I’m sorry for saying that; that should have never come out of my mouth!” This apology shows, “I’m sorry,” and it shows true regret for what you said.
2. Be sincere
There’s really no point in apologizing if you cannot be sincere with what you say in your apology. Say sorry but think about what you are apologizing for – at the same time!
3. Ask for forgiveness
As you offer many apologies, be certain to ask for forgiveness for what you said. You want to show him that you care about his reaction to your apology. How he feels matters to you, so show him that by how you approach the subject.
4. Tell your boyfriend how much you really love him
Talk about the great traits he has and why you are so thankful to have him in your life. Adding this to your apology will show your man that you DO see the good things in your relationship and are looking forward to the future with him. You did not mean what you said, and won’t take him for granted or anything like that anymore.
5. Watch your mouth going forward
An important part of your apology is change. You should not repeat your offense. If you’ve said something hurtful, you should start apologizing immediately and let him know that you will try not to say hurtful things in the future. Then, do that!
6. Remind your boyfriend why the two of you fell in love
If you want forgiveness, you may want to talk about the bonuses you share! Talk about the good times! Get him on the positive side with your beautiful, meaningful apologies by showing him you appreciate so many things about him!
7. Do something really sweet for him
Send a plant to his office, or put sweet love notes in his lunch. Maybe make him a musical playlist with songs that say that you are sorry in them. Tell him how much you appreciate him and what the two of you have together. Write him a sweet poem, expressing your love for him, or you could even send him flowers! Just surprise him!
There are many things you can say to show your apology, too. Say that it was all your fault, that you request his humble forgiveness, and that you’d love to be on the right side of wrong once again. You miss having his affection and adoration and want to know what you can do to get it back. Explain that you will work hard to gain his trust again.
8. Show your love
Once he has forgiven you or accepted your apology, you should make sure you continue to have a loving attitude going forward. Apologizing without change really does neither of you any good. Instead, demonstrate your love for your man in everything you do.
How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend If You Did Something Wrong
1. Accept responsibility for your actions
Own up to what you did, even if it was something minor. Part of apologizing is accepting responsibility for your wrongdoings. What did you do, and why did you do it?
2. Apologize for what you did
Explain your regret in your apology so that he knows you did not mean to cause him harm. You just weren’t thinking clearly!
3. Be sincere with your words
Be open and honest when you give your apology. You want him to know that you mean what you say. The most effective way to do this is to really mean what you say.
4. Explain how you will change and won’t do that again
It’s important that you explain in your apology that this will not happen again. Apologizing without change only means that you will do it again – whether you admit this or not.
5. Work toward earning his trust again
If you did something awful, you would want to work toward building up your man’s trust again. He isn’t going to accept your apology overnight. Instead, you must show him you will be different in regard to this problem in the future. You have every intention of showing him you meant your apology and how you said you’d change.
How To Apologize To Your Boyfriend If You Lied
1. Accept responsibility
One of the worst things you can do when giving an apology is lying about it. You don’t want to deny what you did if he already knows! This is just digging yourself a deeper hole in the ground. Instead, admit where you were wrong and explain why you told a lie and how things will be different in the future. That is the most effective apology!
2. Apologize profusely
Say that you are sorry for what you did. Lying is a tough sin to come back from because it’s easy to tell lies, so you are likely to do it again. Plus, you have now damaged the trust that the two of you shared.
3. Explain why you told a lie
Why did you lie? What reason compelled you to say something that wasn’t true? Perhaps, some part of what happened was his fault. I know you don’t want to say this exactly like that, but you should analyze the reason for the lie. If you decided that the two of you fight too much, and you didn’t want to cause a fight, tell your man that!
4. Don’t be sarcastic
Whenever you give your apology, be real. If you say it in a sarcastic tone, you are likely not to get forgiven for what you said or did. It doesn’t come across as sincere if you do it like that. If your default mode is sarcasm, go ahead and take a break from one another until you can give a sincere, real, and honest apology.
5. Explain that you would like to earn back his trust
Since lying is so hard to come back from, you should consider earning his trust going forward. Let him know the truth on subjects, even if it upsets him. It’s better to argue now than to keep little lies to yourself, only to be found out much later because a bigger fight will surely take place.
6. Do not tell lies in the future
Try to always be honest with your man from this day, going forward. You want him to be able to trust you, right? You can do this by being honest. Show him your love by expressing the truth in everything you do.
Sure, if you are planning a surprise birthday party for him, you could keep the details to yourself for a short period of time, but that only happens once a year; the rest of the time, you should be honest and trustworthy!
If your man doesn’t accept your apology, you may have to move on to the next chapter in your life.
Make amends for your wrongdoing face-to-face, saying, “I’m sorry” to your partner. By saying sorry, you are showing your feelings and how much you care. Words can be enough if they are said in the right way. Deal with your feelings and face your man directly to win him over.
You may want to say something like, “I’m sorry; please forgive me.” Make sure your words match your future actions, though. You don’t want to make a deal that you will change if there’s no way you can do so. Offer a sincere apology regarding your words or actions.
If you have done your husband wrong, you need to admit your mistake. Be sure to tell your husband what you are apologizing for. Ask your husband for forgiveness for your words or actions, and explain your regret. Expressing your feelings can go a long way toward restoring your marriage.
As you are apologizing for your mistake, be sure to talk about the reasons you fell in love with one another. Tell him you need him in your life and regret what you have done. If you want him to cry, you should open up and share your feelings.
One idea is to leave him sweet messages in his lunchbox, showing you regret your mistake. Often actions like this show you are very sorry for your mistake. Leave a note, saying, “I’m sorry for the mistake I made and seek your undeserving forgiveness.” This will show true regret!
What steps have you taken to make up for mistakes with your relationships? How have these relationships turned out after you expressed regret? What steps did you take when you did not receive forgiveness? We need to hear from you! Please explain the ways you’ve apologized in the past.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.