Why do most people think that the first thing they need to do after getting engaged is jump into the stress of planning a wedding? Why do couples lose focus of what their relationship is and bury other important small stuff under the to-do list of creating the ‘perfect day’?
When you let your wedding planning ideas control every other thing you do as the bride-to-be, you will become stressed and watch yourself becoming a bridezilla. Are you newly engaged and having wedding jitters even before the proper wedding planning starts?
Has your engagement taken so long that you just want to get married already without wasting any time? You need to be careful not to turn into a bridezilla and your wedding into a disaster.
Most brides don’t know better. So they let wedding planning become too important than the fact that they are getting married to the love of their lives. Becoming a bridezilla means snapping at the wedding planner who is just doing their job. Bridezillas also frustrate different wedding vendors because you’re stressed out.
A bridezilla blames her bridesmaid for gaining weight and not fitting into her dress anymore. She even becomes a different person overnight. This makes her fiancé wonder if she is the same woman he proposed to. To avoid becoming the bridezilla in these few scenarios, read this article till the end to know how not to turn into a bridezilla while planning your marriage ceremony.
- 1 13 Ways To Avoid Turning Into A Bridezilla
- 1.1 1. Take a moment to celebrate your new status
- 1.2 2. Hire a capable wedding planner
- 1.3 3. Acknowledge the help of loved ones
- 1.4 4. Outsource tasks you can’t handle
- 1.5 5. Focus more on yourself and your partner
- 1.6 6. Limit the number of mini wedding events you organize
- 1.7 7. Avoid planning an unrealistic wedding
- 1.8 8. A bridezilla stops having fun
- 1.9 9. Get sufficient rest
- 1.10 10. Treat your wedding planning team well
- 1.11 11. Don’t become fickle-minded during the wedding planning process
- 1.12 12. Shun perfection
- 1.13 13. Just enjoy the process
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Summary
13 Ways To Avoid Turning Into A Bridezilla
1. Take a moment to celebrate your new status
If your love just proposed to you or you just had the official engagement party, you do not need to rush into the wedding planning immediately. If there is an urgent need to make your marriage official, it is perfectly okay to breathe and bask in the euphoria of tying the knot with the man you love.
Just think about the fact that it’s going to be your wedding and you’re going to be a beautiful bride to your handsome groom. Envision what your perfect day will look like. Write it down if you want, but don’t get worried over the little details yet. Being present in your feelings of joy will help you remember what all the planning you’ll be doing will be all about.
Even when you want to lose it and become a bridezilla, you’ll remember why you’re doing this and the stress will diminish.
2. Hire a capable wedding planner
The first rule on how not to become a bridezilla is to hire a wedding planner who isn’t just good but is also capable. A good planner will help you avert disaster, but a capable planner will help you pull through one. Like every other thing, planning a wedding can become complicated, especially if you want an elaborate celebration.
Having a capable planner will reduce the rate at which you are mentally stressed or physically exhausted. This is because you’ll be paying someone else to do that stress for you. A good and capable planner has most likely organized wedding ceremonies for many couples.
As such, they know what will and won’t work out well. Using a wedding will save you the energy and time you should be applying elsewhere.
3. Acknowledge the help of loved ones
Apart from hiring a planner who will take care of the huge and complicated details, you could also use the help of your loved ones. This help could come in the form of advice, offers to help with smaller tasks, other kind gestures, or financial generosity. You may not know it at first, but you need all the help you can get.
The only reason you may not accept any extra help from family and friends is if you are doing a shotgun or quick wedding with only the closest relatives. In that case, the help you’ll need is them showing up for you on the big day. However, if you are going all out, you should accept help wherever it’s necessary so you don’t stress yourself too much.
4. Outsource tasks you can’t handle
Even if you are not planning an over-the-top wedding, you shouldn’t think of handling too many things at the same time by yourself. A small wedding still requires that you get the meal plan right, arrange your guests and family properly, get an officiant, pick a location, get a perfectly fitting dress, and a host of other things.
Attempting to do these things on your own will lead to burn out and you will eventually lose interest in your wedding after the obsession phase ends. Delegating tasks to your folks will lessen the pressure on you and help you retain the euphoric feeling of getting married to your man.
Also, if you are letting a planner handle the planning for you, let them do their job. Don’t hover to the extent that you’ll make them crazy, or have them start calling you a bridezilla under their breath. Pester your planner only if you think they aren’t following the initial plan.
5. Focus more on yourself and your partner
It is very easy to lose yourself in planning a wedding, and lose sight of what is most important; your relationship with the person you’re marrying. As unbelievable as it may sound, many couples discover each other during wedding planning.
The combination of stress, sleep deprivation, worries about what could go wrong and emotional distance can put a strain on your relationship.
If you don’t prioritize spending quality time with your husband-to-be, and you become a bridezilla your man barely recognizes, there might be no wedding, or you’ll be entering a love union on the wrong foot.
6. Limit the number of mini wedding events you organize
Another way to avoid acting like a bridezilla with your wedding day around the corner is to have as few pre-wedding events as possible. There is usually the bridal party, bachelorette party, pre-wedding dinner, engagement party, the wedding itself, reception, and an after-party.
Apart from the toll the bridal party and other events will have on you physically, you want to consider how much you spend and save. Weddings are just a part of the whole event. They aren’t the major reason for tying the knot. You’ll need to live off of something after you’re married, and you don’t want to worry about lack of funds so soon after the wedding.
7. Avoid planning an unrealistic wedding
Creating a reasonable spending budget for your wedding is one of the first things you should do after engagement. If you can afford an instagramable or wedding blog-worthy wedding, do just that, but don’t spend beyond what you can easily part with.
Most brides plan their weddings with the thought of forever happily after in mind, and so they go all out with making sure their day turns out marvelously. You can use a budget for your wedding, and still, have the ceremony of your dreams.
8. A bridezilla stops having fun
One sign that is evident in all bridezillas is their inability to have fun like they used to. Having a wedding to plan shouldn’t take the fun out of your life. Weddings are not exams you have to become so serious and study for.
Weddings are supposed to be fun to plan, but the moment you stop seeing the fun in planning your wedding, that is the moment to take a step back from the intensity of the process.
Once you realize you’re losing interest in the simple things of life because you’re caught up in preparation for your big day, take a break and recharge. Your energy will either make everyone involved in the preparation process feel comfortable or tense. As such, you should be relaxed most of the time.
9. Get sufficient rest
Just like having fun, adequate rest is vital for every bride to function during the planning process. Most brides either gain or lose weight drastically due to the stress that comes with making wedding preparations. Some resort to eating unhealthily while others eat less than normal.
Apart from running errands without pacing yourself, eating disorders can affect the way you sleep too. To avoid the bridezilla syndrome, get adequate rest at the right time and eat properly too.
10. Treat your wedding planning team well
The vendors you or your planner choose are experts in their fields, and beyond the money, you will pay most of them for doing their jobs. Also, they are not your subordinates. They are bosses in their rights who just chose to work with you to give you the best wedding day.
As such, treating these people with maximum respect and care will work more in your favor than snapping at them over every little misunderstanding. In case of disagreements, state your displeasure respectfully so that things can get back on track quickly.
11. Don’t become fickle-minded during the wedding planning process
Weddings show the true nature of most brides-to-be, and some end up displaying the bridezilla in them. There is no sense in changing your mind multiple times at the last minute just because you saw in a magazine a different way of doing things.
Being fickle-minded about what flowers or cake flavors you want at the impossible time won’t win you any favor with your vendors. Instead, you’ll frustrate them and still end up with the wrong items.
12. Shun perfection
You’ve heard over and again that perfection is overrated, and there’s no lie in that clichéd saying. If you expect that everything will be perfect, you’ll never be relaxed enough to trust the people involved in helping you make that happen.
You can expect near perfection, but not a perfectly executed wedding. Remember, your big day is about you and your man, and celebrating your love with the other people you love.
13. Just enjoy the process
When you allow the thought of the beautiful life you’ll be having with your man to guide you every day of the wedding process. You’ll feel a lesser need to obsess over the things you can’t change.
You will be full of gratitude that your union with your love is becoming legally binding instead of focusing on the small imperfection in your wedding dress.
By enjoying the process you’ll keep the bridezilla in you away.
Most brides become bridezillas because they are confused, tired, and out of control. They are being pulled in different directions and don’t know who to listen to.
When you have the bridezilla syndrome you want to be in control of everything concerning your wedding, which is unreasonable. You don’t want to delegate tasks because you feel your ideas will only work if you’re in charge.
Depending on how close you are to the bride, you can either be blunt or careful. If you are family-related to her, give a good reason for not being one of her bridesmaids. Or else she will take offense. If you’re only an acquaintance, just let her know it’s not convenient for you to be one of the bridesmaids.
As the bride, you should minimize the level of stress you go through by hiring an efficient planner. The planner will put together a team of vendors that will work together in a well-oiled symmetry, so you don’t have to worry about anything.
Yes, it is normal to feel stressed before the big day. However, the less work the bride takes on, the less exhausted she will be before the D-day.
In a perfect world, the bride is unbothered, without worries, and only has to show up on the wedding day. However, this is an imperfect world and bridezillas are real. By following the tips in this post, you’ll be reducing the risk of displaying bridezilla syndrome.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.