When you have someone you love, the feeling can be great. You want to be around that person always. You want his attention, and love, which is very important. But at the same time, it gets to a point where you want to be solitude and be you. You want to do things that interest you, you want to take out time and create new hobbies, and it is perfectly normal to want to do something different at some point.
Yes, you decide to spend some time with yourself alone, but the main question you get to ask yourself is, does spending time alone affect your relationship? How long is enough time to spend away from my partner?
Spending some time on your own isn't bad. As humans, we must have a time where we take a break from everything and reflect on things around us, and know how we want to be better.
But while doing these, you must make sure your partner understands you need some space and the benefits, and also talk about how long you can stay away from each other; this will help you and your partner. Here are 9 reasons why alone time is important in a relationship.
- 1 9 Reasons Why Alone Time Is Important In A Relationship
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
9 Reasons Why Alone Time Is Important In A Relationship
Alone time is very important for every individual, but the same way all our endeavors and actions require moderation, there should be a level of moderation when you take some alone time.
You do not want to get so extreme with having alone time till you and your boyfriend do little or nothing together, thereby losing the bond and whatever vibe left in the relationship. You must create a balance in your relationship. As a couple, you must spend time together in order to build a good home.
2. Stay in the middle
Don’t distance yourself from your partner too much, at least not to the extent that you both just seem like roommates or on the phone sound like enemies trying to reconcile. You are having alone time, not fighting with your significant other.
I know it’s going to be tough to achieve a balance between having your alone time and still showing some level of care for your partner but just try to create a balance in the middle. Your man may have a clingy personality, so when you are requesting for space, if you make it a habit, he may see it as a sign that you are no more interested then start to lose the spark in the relationship.
3. Don’t be in a hurry
There’s no limit to the amount of time you should spend alone or with others, so when you take a one-week vacation, you don’t need to cut it short to two days because you want to preserve your relationship. Make sure you please yourself first before trying to please someone else.
If you try to keep a balance while you are away, you spending time to be alone will even strengthen the relationship. This is because while you are apart, he tends to miss you more, he is also learning new ideas, taking some time on his own too. You are getting new experiences that will help you guys stay stronger as a couple when the alone time is over.
4. 70/30% rule
Have you ever heard of the seventy to thirty percent rule? Apparently, that’s a good way to keep happiness, harmony, and moderation in the relationship. You can spend 70% of your time together as a couple and take 30% as alone time.
That’s a very healthy relationship plan; you get to enjoy each other’s company and spend quality time together while also exploring each other’s personal space and interests. You may hear, “your presence is heaven to me” today, and the next day he is saying, “I feel irritated.” It’s because when you are always around, available things get so boring.
One importance of alone time is that you both get to miss each other, and once you are back to your normal space, it’s all love, goals, achievement, and deeper intimacy.
5. Too much alone time can ruin the relationship
If you are in your feelings or having a mood swing and you need to be alone, it's fine. But if you always want to be alone and you don't want anybody intruding, not even your boyfriend. Also, you don't even want to speak to him, then you may as well break up with him so you can be alone without having any other person worry.
Too much of everything is bad, and when couples spend little or no time together, it can take a toll on that relationship. Absence, they say, makes the heart grow fond. You don't want your love life to suffer. That's why the amount of time you invest in it is important. Don't ignore paying attention to your man, be he might just slowly drift away from you.
6. Do not exceed the agreed time
Suppose you and your MAN talk about having some alone time for a particular period of time or on a particular day. Do not exceed the agreed time you both talked about because it may make him start to doubt your loyalty or get worried.
How do you spend so much time away from your man and not even miss him? So, if you are going to spend time alone, talk to your man about it and don't spend more than the time you said. The alone time you said you wanted is healthy, but exceeding it may not be, except you are ready to lose your relationship.
7. Get the balance right
How much alone time is normal in a relationship? Enough time that makes you stable, fix the problem or whatever mood, and still making sure you don't drift apart from your partner.
As far as you are able to balance getting what you want and protecting your relationship, whatever time you take is okay. If you do this right, you will be very happy because you will appreciate each other even more and connect with yourself better.
Plus, if this man is going to be your life partner or is your husband already, one of your couples' goals should be the ability to spend time apart for personal growth. In life, you must find a way to create a balance in everything you do. If not, you might hurt yourself.
If it's your partner that needs space, ask him why he needs alone time and how long he needs alone. Also, try to know if you can help or assist in any way to make things better. Let him be very specific about the kind of alone time he will be having.
Communication is key, and you don't want to misunderstand or judge him wrongly for choosing to spend some time alone. That's why you should get him to explain these things before taking that alone time, so you are not left in confusion and uncertainty.
So if you have both talked about the length and how the alone time should be, there will be no problem preceding if everyone keeps to their agreement.
9. It depends on the state of the relationship
If you and your boyfriend are in an argument or currently having a relationship crisis and one person asks for alone time, it can cause panic because it's assumed the person is indirectly asking for a break-up. In the heat of a quarrel is not exactly the best time to ask for alone time or take one because the relationship may end from there.
When couples have issues it is better to talk out their differences and try to make things work rather than taking a break. But if you both have an understanding, then a little time alone with some perspectives in view can make the relationship stronger than ever.
No, it is not. It is perfectly ok to want to be alone at some point. Your alone time is very important in order to be in a healthy relationship. At some point, you need to reboot and reconnect to your inner self.
As often as you get the chance to spend together, but don't let the love get to your head that you start choking each other and not respecting boundaries. Because too much familiarity has broken a lot of relationships.
This should depend on you what's your ideal time frame for yours to last. But from research, it has shown that most relationships take a minimum of 17 months and a maximum of 2 years 9 months.
Yes, it is possible. That is why as a couple, communication is very important. Because you are dating someone doesn't mean you are happy. When you both neglect some core values, loneliness starts to creep in. And this is unhealthy for both parties.
When you start losing yourself and your values, this is a sign you should walk away. If your space and boundaries are no longer respected. If it becomes abusive, either physically or emotionally, nobody wants to build a home with an abuser, so walk immediately.
I hope you found this article helpful. If you plan on building a home with your man, you must do things to both your interests. You won't want to lose someone you really love, out of selfishness. Let me know what you think, and please don't forget to share this article with others.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.