That moment when you are with your partner and you feel wonderful and fervent excitement in you thinking you are in love not knowing it’s merely the first phase of a relationship.
There is no doubt that you will wake up one morning and find this feeling gone. They are going to leave as if they never came before. Just like how relationship stories end in most movies and novels, this intense feeling of love ends with the quote “and they lived happily ever after”.
There is no relationship on earth that can flourish if there is no effort put in it. But how long do you need to put this effort in order to confirm if your relationship with your partner is real? Note: The effort used in the sentence above is the infatuation we are going to be discussing in this article.
Stay tuned and get ready as we dissect a question about an intense romance which often has an expiry date for everyone!
What Is Infatuation?
Like passion, infatuation is nature’s greatest high. It involves the extreme attraction of a person towards an object or your partner. It is a short-lived attraction that is meant to last for a while and then fade. The time taken for you to infatuate with your partner is unknown. We can’t tell if the feeling would end in days, months, or years but it’s certain it will end!
Why do we really get so immersed in this feeling when it’s truly going to come to an end? To answer this let’s take a look at the cause and importance of it in a relationship.
Cause Of Infatuation: Chemical Reaction
The primary cause of this passionate emotion has to do with the chemicals in your body. A detailed explanation of this process is given below.
You might feel high and euphoric about someone when you are infatuated with that person. In your brain, there is a center called the dopamine center that is often rewarded when you think or see your loved one. It’s often flooded with dopamine when these people are remembered or seen anywhere. This feeling is so nice but it’s short-lived.
Importance Of Infatuation
Infatuation is very essential as it serves as a means of bonding two souls together. Like I’ve said before, it’s the first phase of a relationship. Lovers can see nothing but the best of themselves at this stage. Just like the expression “love is blind”, both parties don’t see anything wrong in their doings; instead, everything is as perfect as nothing else. Despite how intense this feeling is, it’s superficial.
The infatuation phase is the time for individuals who want to get into other stages of the relationship to create a strong bond that keeps them together. As they enter the other phases of a relationship, their love deepens and gets matured as time goes on.
But if infatuation is actually the first stage of love, then what does love mean?
Love Vs Infatuation
Is there a difference between these two words that deals with a person’s feelings? In a new relationship, you and your partner might battle with this topic. You people really can’t tell if your feelings are short-lived or long-lived.
The primary difference between these two words that deals with the feelings of a person is that the former is for a long period while the later is for a short period.
Infatuation is a feeling that lacks maturity and depth required to face the challenges in life, but love has this attribute in it. With love, partners can cross over the rough roads of life because it’s the real bond. A look at the definition of these two words makes us understand that living “happily ever after” quote is never a fairy tale for love but it is for infatuation
During infatuation, a mere look at your partner makes your heartbeat race like a hare, your legs weak like those of a tetrapod and your face flushed as if you’ve just taken an overdose of niacin. But when you are truly in love, a mere look makes you feel a warm glow coupled with an energy-filled soul.
The feelings listed above can be one-sided (not intimate) for infatuation but for love, it’s a mutual thing.
Being Infatuated: What Does It Feel Like?
Infatuation often leads to selfishness. When you observe that the way you feel towards a person is not mutual, you become selfish. This is when you are being obsessed with a person. Infatuation and lust are similar as they are both short-lived and don’t lead to love most times.
If you’ve ever had an intense feeling coupled with a physical attraction towards somebody, but your mind, body, and soul are not connected to this person we can say you are infatuated. Reason being that the strength of the emotion is only intense but not real.
Honeymoon Stage And Infatuation Stage
Could there be a relationship between these two? Well, yes these two stages are related but they occur at different phases in relationships. While the infatuation phase is the first stage in a relationship, the honeymoon phase sets in after marriage.
There is no doubt every relationship starts with passionate emotion, this can be seen even after marriage (honeymoon period), but what could be the reason for this feeling? For me, the reason for this is the chemical reaction that occurs in the body, and maybe the feel of excitement in you.
This phase of love does not have a specific expiry date. It differs for each person and also depends on who you are infatuated with. But the estimated time before this would end according to Dorothy Tenov, a psychologist, is between 18 months to three years. If this feeling exceeds this period, it means you are deeply insecure.
The answer to this question isn’t specific. It can be a yes or no depending on how you can handle it. Infatuation is like a chemical reaction that can either be feasible or infeasible. For example, if you can’t stop thinking about the girl at the restaurant, it’s probably an attraction which might end or lead to a relationship.
It’s an intense feeling towards something or someone who has a limited time. This feeling is usually characterized by intense physical attraction and undeniable passion.
Just like romance, infatuation also ends. When this phase is passed, partners who are being infatuated towards each other will begin to know themselves well. If they are able to understand each other, their relationship can grow into love and if not, everything stops there.
Well, like I’ve said before, no one can give a specific time for which this first stage of a relationship will end. If we are to go with psychologist Dorothy Tenov’s answer, then we should expect it to end after three years.
Nature provides the initial spark in all relationships but for one to determine the time infatuation would take before coming to an end, you need to be real and observant about your partner’s behavior. Nothing else would give us a specific answer. Let me know what you think!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn’t an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.