Are you dating an introvert? Maybe you are crushing pretty hard on one. You may be wondering, “How do introverts flirt?” After all, they are supposedly really shy and reserved, right? So, how in the world do they show others they are in awe of them?
First of all, not all introverts are shy and reserved. Some are rather easy to get along with; they can be rather outgoing, in fact. Second, some introverts aren’t reserved at all; they just don’t like big groups of people – parties and social events.
Finally, there are many who just don’t like making small talk with others; they enjoy deep, meaningful conversations with someone close.
So, asking, “How do introverts flirt?” is a complicated question because everyone is a little different from one another. For this reason, in this blog post, we’ll look at the ways that introverts act around others, plus how they flirt with those they have crushes on. This way, if you have your heart set on an introvert, you’ll know whether they like you back or not.
- 1 What Is The Difference Between An Introvert And An Extrovert?
- 2 How Do Introverts Flirt?
- 2.1 1. He will shower you with plenty of compliments
- 2.2 2. He may approach you but suddenly walk away before reaching you
- 2.3 3. He may find excuses to talk to you when others are around
- 2.4 4. He will be genuinely interested in what you have to say
- 2.5 5. He may make an attempt to be funny
- 2.6 6. He may tilt his head when he talks to you
- 2.7 7. He probably can’t help but smile when he’s around you
- 2.8 8. He may be overly talkative when the two of you are alone
- 2.9 9. He is probably more touchy-feely than you expect
- 2.10 30. He may get caught staring in your general direction
- 2.11 31. He will laugh at all your jokes (even the ones that aren’t funny)
- 2.12 32. He may accidentally blush when the two of you are talking
- 2.13 33. He may have difficulty making eye contact with you
- 2.14 34. He will try to find things you have in common with each other
- 2.15 35. He might pass you a note in school rather than talk to you
- 2.16 36. He could stutter or stumble across the words he’s trying to use
- 2.17 37. He may know more details about you than you expect
- 2.18 38. He will answer your calls and texts immediately or as soon as he can
- 2.19 39. He will go outside of his comfort zone for you
- 2.20 40. He may talk as if he has rehearsed what he said to you
- 2.21 41. He will try to be nice and respectful to you
- 2.22 42. He is probably overly expressive about his feelings
- 2.23 43. He will watch what you say and do very closely
- 2.24 44. He enjoys talking about the serious stuff in life
- 2.25 45. He makes time for you but enjoys his alone time as well
- 3 What To Do If An Introvert Likes You
- 4 FAQs
- 5 In Conclusion
What Is The Difference Between An Introvert And An Extrovert?
Before discussing how introverts flirt, it’s a good idea to understand what an introvert actually is and how he differs from extroverts.
According to Healthline, psychologist Carl Jung explained that introverts and extroverts could be distinguished from one another by the way they regain energy. That sounds confusing, right? It really isn’t when you think about it.
Extroverts have a great deal of energy and get fueled by their relationships with other people. Introverts, on the other hand, need time alone to recharge their batteries. Does that make more sense now that it’s spelled out? Let’s look at an example of how it takes two people to make a relationship work when you have one of each personality type.
If Joe is an introvert and goes to a party with Jane, who is an extrovert, the two of them will need different things. If they both used up the same amount of energy at the party mingling with other people, Joe is more likely to be exhausted and ready to go home sooner than Jane, who is fueled by her conversations with other people.
There’s nothing wrong with either side; they are just different. Joe and Jane could be in a healthy relationship with one another, provided they both understand the needs of their partner. Jane may have to leave social situations sooner than she’d like, but at least Joe went along with her. He probably would have rather stayed home watching reruns of a television show!
How Do Introverts Flirt?
1. He will shower you with plenty of compliments
Introverts often show they like you by flirting with compliments. He may not know what else to say to you, so he showers you with flattering words. This is by no means a bad thing; you just have to understand whether he’s just really nervous or just wants to tell you how he feels about you, what he thinks of you, and what he values in you.
2. He may approach you but suddenly walk away before reaching you
This is a classic sign of flirting by someone who is very nervous. He may have mustered up the courage to come and talk to you finally, but when he gets to the point where he’ll have to flirt to continue the motion, he may chicken out. It’s a natural way to be for introverts; they are self-conscious and worried they wouldn’t know what to say to you.
3. He may find excuses to talk to you when others are around
If he doesn’t know how to pull you away from the conversations you have with other people, an introvert may think of an excuse to steal you apart from your company. For example, if you are the host, this introvert may show flirting by saying something like, “There’s a problem with the caterers.” Then, like magic, he has you all to himself.
4. He will be genuinely interested in what you have to say
Introverts are great listeners, and for that reason, they make excellent friends. If you are talking, you know he is paying attention. He wants to hear what makes you tick, what interests you, what you find to be fascinating, and where your conversations lead. Showing his interest in your words is his way of flirting with you.
5. He may make an attempt to be funny
I say that not trying to be mean, but just as a way of saying that sometimes people attempt to be funny but are far from it. Now, if an introvert flirts with you, he may be so nervous that his jokes are really not that great. You can still smile or giggle a little to be polite, but I’m sure he knows he bombed it! Just give him a chance if you like him!
6. He may tilt his head when he talks to you
Body language is everything when flirting with someone you like. You may tilt your head when you talk, uncross your arms, open up your palms, or make nervous gestures if you are anxious around the person you are crushing on. There are many ways that people show flirting with their body; look out for the clues, and you’ll see them!
7. He probably can’t help but smile when he’s around you
When an introvert likes someone, he can’t help but smile when she’s around. After all, he may not get a chance to be around her all that much. Look for the people who smile when you are near them to see who is maybe interested in you.
8. He may be overly talkative when the two of you are alone
Introverts are not always shy. In fact, if your crush is an introvert, he may be very talkative, especially if the two of you are alone. He may find it hard not to talk a lot when he’s around you because he likes you so much. Also, a big part of being talkative with someone involves the fact that he’s nervous! It’s a good idea to give him a break.
Don’t give him a hard time for speaking so much to you. That’s just his way of flirting with you; he may not mean to be so talkative. Actually, he may not have a clue he’s acting like that. When he comes up for air, go ahead and change the subject if you think that would make him less nervous and bring him back down to Earth.
You could say something like, “That reminds me of something someone said to me yesterday that was so funny. Want to hear about it?” He will probably not just jump in with an unrelated topic but will, instead, be on board with what you have to say. He might even be glad the pressure is off him to keep the conversation going.
9. He is probably more touchy-feely than you expect
Often, introverts enjoy talking about their feelings and emotions. They like digging deep down to see what’s going on inside your heart. He may ask you questions that make you a bit uncomfortable, especially if you are just now getting to know one another.
Only answer the questions that make you feel comfortable. Just say that you aren’t ready to share your feelings just now.
30. He may get caught staring in your general direction
If you go to school with the person you have a crush on, you may catch him staring at you from across the room or hallway. He’ll probably immediately look in a different direction if you catch him, but you can smile, knowing that this is his way of flirting with you. Next time, you could make eye contact with him to show you like him, too.
31. He will laugh at all your jokes (even the ones that aren’t funny)
Who could resist your attempts at being funny, especially if they have the hots for you? Flirting can be seen in many forms, one of which is laughter or smiling, even if you are not very funny. He’ll notice your attempt at humor and take the hint. An introvert will welcome the opportunity to show he likes you by laughing and smiling.
32. He may accidentally blush when the two of you are talking
Most introverts will not want to blush on purpose, but the nerves can really get to them. If an introvert is into you, he may turn beet red when the two of you are flirting. Make things easy on him, and try to get him to relax a bit. Since an introvert is usually most comfortable in a one-on-one setting, you might try getting him alone to talk.
33. He may have difficulty making eye contact with you
Eye contact is not easy for everyone, especially if he is an introvert who is very shy and reserved with his actions. He may feel uncomfortable making eye contact but still really likes you and wants you to know that. You can get him to overcome his shyness by asking him questions or pointing out the things the two of you have in common.
34. He will try to find things you have in common with each other
As mentioned, this is a great thing you can do to let an introvert know that you really aren’t that much different. He may do this to show you the same thing. What do you both like? What hobbies, interests, or subjects are you both passionate about? Finding common ground is a great method for building a solid relationship.
35. He might pass you a note in school rather than talk to you
Since talking can be a bit nerve-wracking for an introvert, he may decide to slip you a note in class. Alternatively, you may get anonymous love letters or sweet packages. Just make sure that they aren’t overboard. Introverts can lean toward the stalker side of the spectrum without meaning to. Decide what your boundaries are and make them clear.
36. He could stutter or stumble across the words he’s trying to use
Nervousness can certainly cause an introvert to trip over his words. He may know exactly what he wants to say, but when he says it, it comes out all wrong. This is a normal part of flirting, so be sure to give him a solid try before discounting him altogether.
37. He may know more details about you than you expect
While it is true that an introvert could be a bit of a stalker, he may have insider information because he found out facts from your friends or schoolmates. Maybe he’s good friends with your favorite teacher or a family member. Stalking behavior can be kind of sweet; just don’t let it get out of control—set limits to what you will handle.
38. He will answer your calls and texts immediately or as soon as he can
An introvert loves talking on the phone because he can really get to know you. He’ll probably always make time for you when you call or text him. Since an introvert can be shy, you may have to lead the conversation, but he’ll chime in when he gets comfortable.
39. He will go outside of his comfort zone for you
Watching an introvert go out of his way to be with you is a special thing. See what all he will do outside of the norm to make you happy, and you will know that you found a keeper!
40. He may talk as if he has rehearsed what he said to you
The nervousness causes this. He may have written down exactly what he wants to say to you, so it probably does sound like he is reading to you when he talks. Over time, he will loosen up and start to open up with you. Just give it a while, and be patient, not pushy, while you wait.
41. He will try to be nice and respectful to you
Hopefully, all guys act like this when they flirt, but, of course, we know that isn’t always the case. You want to be with a gentleman who will treat you right, though, don’t you?
42. He is probably overly expressive about his feelings
Introverts love talking about their feelings and what’s going on inside their hearts. Let him open up without being sarcastic or making fun of him. If you aren’t interested, just say so; don’t be mean.
43. He will watch what you say and do very closely
He pays attention because he wants to know and understand what’s most important to you in life. That is a rare quality to find in a guy!
44. He enjoys talking about the serious stuff in life
If you are looking for conversation topics, talk about your hopes, dreams, and aspirations in life, and you’ll be able to talk to him for hours. He loves talking about what’s really important. He’s also more likely to contribute to the conversation if it’s about something real. Talk about your favorites, what you want to be someday, and about your childhood.
45. He makes time for you but enjoys his alone time as well
If you decide to get in a relationship with an introvert, be sure to give him his private time. He’ll make time for you; don’t worry. Just respect his boundaries, so you two can have a healthy relationship with giving and taking involved.
What To Do If An Introvert Likes You
If you don’t like him
First, it’s a good thing that you are admitting you do not feel the same way about him that he does for you. You have decided not to string him along even though you are probably flattered he has a thing for you. Make sure you realize that it took a lot of courage to show you the signs he did (what he did to let you know he had a crush on you). Introverts are usually pretty shy.
He stepped out of his comfort zone to show you his interest in you and flirt in a way that let you know he really liked you. That probably wasn’t easy for him!
The second thing you should do is to gently let him down. Just explain that you are not currently interested in dating anyone or that you like someone else, or say that he is not your type. Say something sweet and kind.
Finally, make sure you are clear with your body language and flirting. Don’t give him mixed signals; introverts sometimes have difficulty reading people and don’t always know what is being said, so make your language clear and do not flirt in any way. Introverts are good friends to keep around, so you may want to ask him if a friendship would be something of interest.
If you do like him
An introvert loves it when he wins the heart of the person he is chasing, so let him know you are interested in him, as well. If you know that he is pretty much as shy as it gets, you may want to lead the conversation. Let him know the way to your heart; plan out your first date if things are moving in that direction. This way, he can just worry about what he will say on the date.
If life gets in the way, and the two of you can’t seem to nail down a day to go on a date, you may want to consider flirting via the phone. You can text or call each other and get past the small talk pretty much right away. Let a couple of phone calls pass, and you’ll be talking about the serious stuff in life. For example, you could ask about his dream job or what he loves the most.
The more serious the conversation is, the better the two of you will get to know each other. Love can really blossom once you reach this point. When someone gives a part of his soul to another person, you know he has fallen in love with her. This is when things go way beyond innocent flirting. Introverts enjoy talking about their feelings and deep thoughts, so this is perfect!
After that, you can just see where things go; let him take the lead if you want to, and watch the sparks fly off the wall as the two of you bond about the serious stuff in life!
One of the ways introverts act when they have a crush on a person is through flirting. They may show they feel comfortable around you if they cut the small talk and have a real, honest conversation with you. In these cases, love can begin to blossom.
One of the signs of flirting by a person like this is through their body language. They may do things like twirl their hair, bat their eyelashes, or stare at you. Although, if you catch them doing one of these things, they are likely to quickly look away.
A guy like this wants to make a good first impression, but his flirting style may be sloppy if he doesn’t have much experience with girls. An introvert likes to be the only one talking to the girl he is crushing on so that he has her full attention.
An introverted guy certainly has the potential to cheat, just like any other guy. However, the chances may be slimmer since introverts like to stay in and not party so much. Make sure you keep your introverted guy interested in you so that he’s not tempted to stray.
Some introverts like to be romantic; they just want one-on-one time with you. Maybe your introvert flirts with you by lighting candles and cooking a festive meal. Each introvert flirts in his own way, so learn the flirting style of your man to gauge his interest level.
Are you wondering if your crush is flirting with you? What are the signs he is showing you that make you think he is interested? When introverts flirt, what signs do you think they show? We’d love to hear from you. Please leave a comment, and share this post.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.