Women have always been tagged as being high-maintenance. Men, on the other hand, have escaped such name tags. While this is not a gender war, this fact simply states how women can easily overlook the truth that the men in their lives could be high-maintenance as well.
A person is termed high-maintenance if they require a lot of attention, money, and effort and demands high standards in their relationships. This definition isn’t limited to romantic relationships. An individual can be high-maintenance at work as well.
Both high-maintenance men and women put a lot into their appearance and are very hard to manage because they desire or feign perfection. Their needs come first, their life has to be class and perfect, and their friends/family must swallow the drama and ‘extra’ attitude at all times.
- 1 27 Signs You’re Dating A High Maintenance Man
- 1.1 1. Does he give you drag queen vibes?
- 1.2 2. Such men are needy
- 1.3 3. Does he refuse to ever drink cheap wine because he thinks he’s way too high up for a local pub?
- 1.4 4. Is he overly concerned about his appearances?
- 1.5 5. Does he spend way too much on clothing items?
- 1.6 6. Do you lose your patience because you get your makeup done way ahead of him dressing up?
- 1.7 7. Does he refuse to drink tap water, like ever?
- 1.8 8. Does he want to look impeccable at all times, even during a paintball game?
- 1.9 9. Is he only interested in staying at a high-end hotel and nothing else would do?
- 1.10 10. How many times does he stare at himself in the mirror or through his phone screen?
- 1.11 11. Does he only want to eat out at top-tier restaurants?
- 1.12 12. How many selfies does he take in a day?
- 1.13 13. Are you the only one exerting all the energy in the bedroom just because he doesn’t want to become sweaty?
- 1.14 14. Is he obsessed with hygiene?
- 1.15 15. Does he take the cab more than he walks?
- 1.16 16. Is there drama when you don’t send him a kiss at the end of your text messages or calls?
- 1.17 17. Have you been finding it hard to convince him to go hiking or camping with you?
- 1.18 18. Does his constant need to keep tabs on your activities feel suffocating?
- 1.19 19. Does he start acting crazy when a pimple breaks out on his face?
- 1.20 20. Does he go for only branded and expensive outfits?
- 1.21 21. Is there a particular time you don’t check up on him and he throws a fit?
- 1.22 22. Does he break things when he gets mad or can’t have his way?
- 1.23 23. Is he never early for an event?
- 1.24 24. Does he need you to tell him you love him multiple times in a day?
- 1.25 25. Does he spend an incredible amount of time in the bathroom?
- 1.26 26. Is he a gym freak?
- 1.27 27. Does he cry at the drop of a hat?
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
27 Signs You’re Dating A High Maintenance Man
So, what exactly is a high-maintenance man? Is it in his physical appearance or the things he says and does? Whatever it is that qualifies a man as high-maintenance, just be aware that he will be a handful of trouble if you can’t manage him.
In the tips in this article, you’ll get a general definition of who a high-maintenance guy is and, the traits that expose him as one.
1. Does he give you drag queen vibes?
Pouting is one out of many feminine traits and although it will look cute on a dude, doing it too much is just not cool at all. If your man is always pouting when he is happy, unhappy, taking selfies, thinking hard (or doing other things that do not warrant pouting), you have a high-maintenance man on your hands.
2. Such men are needy
Exchanging gifts in a relationship is a sign of care and commitment but, doing so under persistent duress is completely wrong and a big problem for you. There are high-maintenance women who are so materialistic that their men cannot keep up with their demands. Does your man act exactly like these women?
A woman would demand a lot from her partner, so would men that are in relationships that allow such behavior.
3. Does he refuse to ever drink cheap wine because he thinks he’s way too high up for a local pub?
Except if you are dripping money and diamonds, you know you can’t afford to drink expensive champagne or sparkling wine every time. If your partner’s reaction to that logic is that there’s plenty of money to maintain such extravagant living, then he’s a high-maintenance man.
4. Is he overly concerned about his appearances?
One of the signs of high-maintenance men or women is a classy, rich-looking, and put-together appearance. It is great to have a man who takes care of himself, especially the way he looks outwardly. However, when he does it too much, you start to wonder if he’s a woman.
Now, of course, a person should not be judged based on gender stereotypes, but the truth is, women are usually known for such finicky attitudes.
There are some men out there that care about their appearance more than women do; their clothing is expensive, and they always look dapper. There are so much women can take when their men are equally so particular about what they’ll wear out.
5. Does he spend way too much on clothing items?
It is not only in the movies that most men hate shopping, especially when it comes to clothes. Most men would prefer to have a painful sugar waxing than willingly shop for clothes. If your guy spends more time and money on clothes than he does on you, there is a problem.
If you care about him on a deep level and want him in your life on a long-term basis, you should correct him on his high-maintenance spending habit before it affects you.
6. Do you lose your patience because you get your makeup done way ahead of him dressing up?
If as a woman, your boyfriend annoys you because you manage to get your makeup done before he finishes dressing up, he might possess high-maintenance traits. Normally, the man is the one hurrying his woman up to finish her makeup so they could go out. These signs show that your partner views his life with more drama, class, and poise than you’d fancy.
You may have to have a word with him on this, but study him first to see exactly what’s taking his time so you’ll know the points to present.
While this behavior is sort of expected and cute in a woman, it is annoying for a guy to do the same thing. This doesn’t mean men shouldn’t know anything about high fashion, makeup, or the likes, but the expense at which it comes is always great.
7. Does he refuse to drink tap water, like ever?
Who wouldn’t want to live on bottled water forever? However, it is not only reasonable to drink tap water when you are at home, but it is also environmentally friendly because you won’t need to dispose of too many bottles daily.
Apart from the environmental implications of constantly drinking tap water, if your boyfriend drinks only bottled water, he makes every other person who drinks tap water look poor or unhealthy (including you).
8. Does he want to look impeccable at all times, even during a paintball game?
What kind of man doesn’t want to get down and dirty for fun? Definitely a high-maintenance one! No relationship will thrive only on safe and cool outings or indoor activities. Men need to balance poise and precision with thoughtfulness, it would also help to lose the extra drama.
So if this individual always wants to look exceptionally good all the time, it’s one of the signs he’s being high-maintenance. Women have been discouraged for years about this dramatic and costly way of living life, and for good reason. It’s hard to keep up with or tolerate.
9. Is he only interested in staying at a high-end hotel and nothing else would do?
Another high-maintenance attitude is when someone loves only 4 or 5 stars hotels even though they cannot afford it too often. It’s perfectly normal to desire something fancy and high-end. However, if you don’t have what it takes to enjoy it consistently, don’t be obsessed about it. That goes for men and women alike.
If your man insists on lodging at 5-star hotels when you both know neither of you can afford to take that money out of your savings, it’s important to be stern with him. You’re the one who shares in his wins and losses, and this attitude could cost both of you.
10. How many times does he stare at himself in the mirror or through his phone screen?
It’s okay to be vain sometimes, we all do it. Staring at yourself in the mirror too much is however another level of self-absorption that can be toxic to your relationship and unfair to your partner. A healthy dose of self-appreciation is wonderful. However, no man should make his woman feel less attractive because he can’t seem to stop looking at himself in the mirror.
11. Does he only want to eat out at top-tier restaurants?
You both love dining out more than eating in but your partner wouldn’t eat anywhere but only in restaurants that cost an arm and a leg. How do you reconcile your bank account balance with your high-maintenance partner’s high taste? You may want to get out while you can so you don’t stay broke all your life.
12. How many selfies does he take in a day?
When a man starts taking too many selfies than you can count, you can agree that there’s been a role switch. It may sound stereotypical, but women take the cake when it comes to being extra aware of themselves. That’s why the term ‘high-maintenance’ is associated more with ladies.
You could say the issue of high maintenance is a gender-based one since women are usually the ones doing something extra.
And so, if men do their best to stay away from high-maintenance women they can’t handle, why then should you stick with a man exhibiting selfishness even in the way he takes pictures? It may not seem like much until this attitude bleeds into other aspects of your relationship.
13. Are you the only one exerting all the energy in the bedroom just because he doesn’t want to become sweaty?
A man who doesn’t want to get sweaty for anything will most likely be boring in the bedroom. If he is not willing to get nasty with you in a good way, that should make you worried because sex is a huge part of relationships. If sex between both partners is not fun and exciting, other parts of the relationship will suffer.
If you don’t want a restricted sex life all your life, you may want to swap your high-maintenance partner for someone willing to rock your world in and out of the bedroom.
14. Is he obsessed with hygiene?
When your friends hear that you are dating someone who keeps his house clean and cleans yours when he comes over, they’ll probably be green with envy. I mean, how many men do that?
However, when you study the frequency with which your man cleans and it exceeds the normal level anyone should care about cleaning, it points to a high-end attitude. If you cannot match an OCD's level of obsessive cleaning, break things up because it will be a problem in the future.
15. Does he take the cab more than he walks?
When an able-bodied man insists on always taking a cab for a distance he can cover on foot within five minutes, you should know he has some serious issues. As long as he is not sick or missing his limbs, he should be able to walk a short distance.
However, this silliness is peculiar to high-maintenance people. Even if he willingly shares the cab fee whenever you go out together, what happens on a day when you can’t afford to board a cab? Think about it!
16. Is there drama when you don’t send him a kiss at the end of your text messages or calls?
This kind of childish behavior is what pushes friends and loved ones away. It’s because of the plenty of ‘musts’ and ‘must-nots' that friends check out and women leave such men. The thought of sending a ‘kiss emoji’ at the end of all text messages seems quite simple, but it symbolizes something more.
Anything he blatantly insists on could become more of a chore than a loving gesture and it won’t work in the long run.
17. Have you been finding it hard to convince him to go hiking or camping with you?
If you are an outdoor kinda girl dating a high-maintenance person, you’re in trouble because he doesn’t like exerting himself unless it’s what he likes to do. A high-maintenance man won’t go hiking or camping if it means he’ll be stressed out at the end of the day.
If he learns that there will be mosquitoes and rodents in the camping site or you’ll be walking long trails, he will back out.
18. Does his constant need to keep tabs on your activities feel suffocating?
Love is companionship and sharing your life with someone but love is also freedom. If you have the other two but lack the latter, there is no point in claiming to be free. A high-maintenance attitude is keeping tabs on your partner.
If you are getting this kind of vibe from your man, your relationship will experience some turbulence and might not last that long.
19. Does he start acting crazy when a pimple breaks out on his face?
When a girl acts silly over a slight imperfection, she is berated for it. How much more a guy who is supposed to be in touch with his ‘soft’ side without losing his masculinity? People break out in acne and facial imperfections all the time, it’s not the end of the world!
20. Does he go for only branded and expensive outfits?
Is your partner crazy about particular cloth brands that he cannot afford? You are dating a high-maintenance dude! Guys like this won’t mind borrowing just to keep up with their up-scale life. They won’t accept anything that’s not a brand, even though they didn’t grow up wearing designers.
21. Is there a particular time you don’t check up on him and he throws a fit?
This attitude is similar to him monitoring you and while non-high-maintenance men act irrationally possessive of what they term their ‘possessions’, they don’t throw hissy fits as a high-maintenance person would. If he screeches at you over the phone for not checking in at the right time like an obedient child, he isn’t worth it.
22. Does he break things when he gets mad or can’t have his way?
If he gets mad and breaks things like a princess who couldn’t get her way, you should run away as fast as your legs can carry you. While this attitude is irritating at best, it also holds potential danger for you because his actions can become unpredictable with time.
23. Is he never early for an event?
Again, women are the ones usually making a dramatic entry by being fashionably late. When this trait becomes repetitive in a man, it is one of the signs of a high-maintenance person. While being habitually late is not a good thing for a lady to do, it is a total turnoff in a man, especially if he doesn’t have any good reason for being late.
24. Does he need you to tell him you love him multiple times in a day?
If low self-esteem has a face, it will be that of a high-maintenance person who needs to hear that you love him many times in a day—before he can believe you truly do. Saying I love you should come naturally to either of you but asking for the words depicts insecurity.
25. Does he spend an incredible amount of time in the bathroom?
Perhaps, you live together and he has his karaoke shows in the bathroom every morning. Then this delays you from getting to work early because you have to wait for him to finish?
This is a high-maintenance attitude that will strain the relationship, especially if you like taking your time in the bathroom too.
26. Is he a gym freak?
Every girl loves a partner who is physically fit and can lift her without breaking a sweat. But when a man goes to the gym all the time, it will breed in him self-importance that lacks tolerance for people who can’t exercise at his pace. If he shares the view that only fit people are hardworking or commendable, you may feel ‘unworthy’ of your not equally an enthusiast.
27. Does he cry at the drop of a hat?
Over the years, people have been encouraging men to let out their emotions and not just express themselves with words but there’s a limit to which a man should express himself in tears.
There’s nothing attractive about a person who cries at every little thing and has no lid on his emotions. If he constantly shares sad stories or videos with you and gets emotional every time, he may be connecting way too much to his ‘soft side’.
If your boyfriend would rather sit to pee rather than do it while standing like every other normal guy, you can bet that he is high-maintenance and will annoy the heck out of you down the road.
Being high-maintenance has a negative meaning in the dating circle because it means you are materialistic, finicky, selfish, and expect too much from your partner. We cannot say that’s a good thing because not everyone shares the idea of being materialistic rather than human.
It means you have an expensive taste they cannot sponsor. Or you want them to carry out responsibilities they don’t have time or patience to do. Sometimes, you can be labeled high-maintenance by the way you act too.
People use the term ‘high-maintenance’ as an insult but, it can also be stated as a fact due to the way you behave. If anyone shares your views on life, they wouldn’t call you that. That’s why high-maintenance translates to acting spoilt, too good for others, and having unreasonable expectations.
When a guy calls you wild, it could be good or bad. It could mean you’re fun in bed or great to hang out with and it can also mean that you’re too much for him to handle in any way.
High-maintenance men aren’t exactly bad but, they can be a pain in the neck, especially when they remain rigid in their behavior. From the tips in this article, you should be able to know which high-maintenance habit you can put up with and which ones will make you walk away from the relationship.
Please share your experiences with high-maintenance people in the comment section and share the link for others to read too.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.