You are dating this fine guy who fits the description of a perfect boyfriend; no day goes by without him calling or texting to check up on you.
This guy, in a bid to prove to you that you’re exclusive, deletes his dating profile and maybe even has your picture as his screensaver. Now, despite all of the countless nights and affectionate moments you have spent together, he has never for once referred to you as his girlfriend. I know how awkward it gets when a man you’re dating introduces you to his friends or colleagues as someone else other than his girlfriend.
This does not in any way rule out the fact that he loves you or has deep feelings for you. Dating labels mean so much to us than they do to the male folk.
So, trust me when I tell you that your feelings of agony and confusion are not entirely misplaced. First of all, you must understand that there are several reasons why men shy away from addressing their girlfriends by their proper ‘titles’.
Interestingly, I have highlighted a couple of them below. So, before you go about doing something you might regret later, take some time out and go through this list.
- 1 11 Reasons He Won’t Call You His Girlfriend
- 1.1 1. He Is Overwhelmed By The Responsibilities
- 1.2 2. He Is Yet To Move On From His Past Relationship
- 1.3 3. He Doesn’t See A Future With You
- 1.4 4. He’s Not Yet Sure Of His Feelings For You
- 1.5 5. He’s Scared That The Feelings May Not Be Mutual
- 1.6 6. Dating Labels May Not Be His Thing
- 1.7 7. He’s Dating Someone Else
- 1.8 8. He Doesn’t Want To Lose You
- 1.9 9. He Might Still Be ‘Checking You Out’
- 1.10 10. He’s Saving You From Unnecessary Pressure
- 1.11 11. He Likes The Way Things Are At The Moment
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
11 Reasons He Won’t Call You His Girlfriend
1. He Is Overwhelmed By The Responsibilities
To some guys, the idea of labeling a girl as their girlfriend makes them think of the responsibilities that come with it. These duties or responsibilities could be legal, financial, or emotional. There are certain things expected of guys from their girlfriends and these men may not yet be ready to fulfill such obligations.
Refusing to call you his girlfriend may be his own way of leaving name tags out of the relationship, while simply focusing on dating you, and seeing where things lead. Even when you have spent a lot of time together, men who are afraid of spoiling a good thing because of such name tags will refrain from saying the word.
I’m fully in the know about how women can be when it comes to finding a husband and settling down. The typical transition state is usually from girlfriend to wife, some guys are scared of the idea of getting married. They know that once they label you as their girlfriend, it clock starts ticking, and certain expectations may get in the way of both of you simply having a good time.
2. He Is Yet To Move On From His Past Relationship
Your boyfriend may still be reeling from an emotional wound from a previous relationship and sees this new one as a way of healing or forgetting about the past. Dating may not be the best bet for him right now, even though he thinks differently.
He might still be hungover from what went wrong with his previous relationship, that he won’t want to make any hasty decisions in the new one. If this is the case, you might want to take things into perspective, especially if you know you can’t date someone without defining the relationship. Make sure you're aware of the risks of dating a man who won’t call you his girlfriend.
If you think you need some time to think things over, take some time off to figure out what’s best for you. Both of you need to figure out exactly what you want, if that means ending things, then you’ll know it’s for the best.
3. He Doesn’t See A Future With You
No matter how bitter this pill may be to swallow, it is the most rational reason to why he doesn’t call you his girlfriend. Most guys in a bid to not ruin their chances with other ladies prefer not to commit themselves to a particular one. He does this to keep his options open and viable, he favors the friends-with-benefits arrangement you’ve got going and does not see it transitioning into something else irrespective of how hard you try.
This basically means that this guy could be with you, one day, and anyone else in the next week or month, just for the fun of it. My unsolicited advice is that you walk away from this so-called relationship and find someone who would love and regard you well enough to call you his girlfriend. Even though he promises to get his act together, his ‘good intentions’ towards the relationship have to show in both words and actions.
4. He’s Not Yet Sure Of His Feelings For You
Most relationships these days start from being just casual to becoming something more intimate. Things might be picking up so fast and he is not convinced if what he is feeling is love or something else. It’s possible that your boyfriend might be taking his time to process the way things are progressing and nothing more
Yes, the feelings could be there but it is one thing to identify what it really is, even though all the signs are glaring. If this is the case, there’s no need to press the panic button just yet. Give him time to come to terms with whatever it is that is happening and then find his bearing. It might be a little difficult for a guy to ascertain if he loves you after a few good dates.
5. He’s Scared That The Feelings May Not Be Mutual
This is like the reverse instance to the previous point I highlighted, he’s not sure if you share the same feelings for him as he does for you. This makes him extra cautious of not doing or saying anything that would rock the boat. In an attempt to not seem too forward, he would probably make a conscious effort not to call you his girlfriend.
In a case such as this, the ball is left in your court, he simply needs some assurances that the feelings are mutual and not one-sided. If you love and cherish him, as I’m sure you do, do not hesitate in letting him know. Make out more time to spend doing the things you both love, and let him know you’re not afraid to call him your man.
6. Dating Labels May Not Be His Thing
Just like I mentioned in the introduction, labels in relationships do not really mean so much to guys as much as it does to us. This could just be a simple case of him not being the kind of guy that feels the need to label things. The regular boyfriend and girlfriend labels do not matter to him, he’s probably more focused on making the relationship work.
This does not in any way insinuate that he doesn’t love you and have deep feelings for you. Find an appropriate time and talk this label thing through, make him see reasons why it is important for him to acknowledge that you’re his girlfriend.
Chances are, he might reconsider his stance on the matter and start calling you his girlfriend. It could also go the other way so be open-minded about your expectations.
7. He’s Dating Someone Else
This is usually the most common reason why a guy is always nervous and unwillingly to call a lady he’s seeing his girlfriend. When he is with you, he professes all manner of things to you to douse your agitation but whenever he is with friends or family, he introduces you casually.
Multiple dating is a common thing nowadays but most people try to be shady about it. Normally, all parties involved are required to be aware of the peculiarity of the relationship. In this case, the guy decides to conceal this fact for his own selfish reasons, this means that practically anyone else would have the impression that he’s single and still available.
Try finding out if your man is seeing someone else and if he is, it’s probably time to walk away. This ultimately shows that his ‘feelings’ for you are false and misleading.
8. He Doesn’t Want To Lose You
As funny as this may sound, it is a very legitimate reason why guys do not jump at the opportunity of calling a lady they genuinely love their girlfriend. Let me break it down for you, in a bid not to jinx or ruin a growing relationship, guys steer clear away from subtle things that could ruin it. When a man finds the ‘one’, it is natural for him to be scared that being too forward might scare the girl away.
In order not to jump the gun and lose you in the process, he allows the relationship to take a natural course. This is why I advocate for couples to maintain a healthy communication channel in their relationships. Trying to make him admit you’re his girlfriend could be futile in this case, he may not want things to end, so he’ll keep taking things as gradually as possible to develop a solid connection before adding any name tags to the relationship.
9. He Might Still Be ‘Checking You Out’
Some men do not subscribe to the ideology that loves covers all things, they believe that in a relationship, love is not absolute as other factors must be considered. The same way we fantasize about out ‘Mr. Perfect’ is similarly the same way guys fantasize over their ideal woman.
He may want to wait things out and ensure you tick all the necessary boxes before committing to a serious relationship. You may want to push his hand and encourage him to speed things up, but for men like this, it’s best to be patient.
10. He’s Saving You From Unnecessary Pressure
Every woman fantasizes about being introduced to her partner’s friends, family, and associates as a girlfriend. Have you tried stopping for a moment to think about the pressure that comes with meeting everyone and whether they would like you or not? Your partner is in the best position to know the personalities of his friends and members of his family.
It’s possible that the people you are so enthusiastic about meeting are very unfriendly and intimidating. By not calling you his girlfriend, he saves you from this kind of undue pressure. He may want to slow things down for as long as possible until he’s sure it’s time to make the move and publicly introduce you as his girlfriend.
11. He Likes The Way Things Are At The Moment
As far as your relationship is concerned, he’s getting everything he wants and expects things to remain the way they are. Without having to commit to you, the guy is receiving sex, intimacy, companionship, love, and support. This alone leaves him with little or no reason to commit to you.
Taking some time together to talk might seem like the best solution but it might end up putting him on the defensive. He might eventually wear out from your incessant bickering and walk out of the relationship. You’re not giving them any reason to want more, so there’s no reason to get hasty towards making any commitments to you.
My candid advice is after you must have checked all the boxes of reasons I highlighted above, get him to talk about your status in the relationship. If he is unwilling to reconsider his stance on the subject, then it is quite obvious that he doesn’t want to commit to you. At this point, it is time you count your losses and move on.
The danger of forcing a guy into making a commitment to you is that its implementation becomes one-sided. No woman would want to be in a relationship all by herself, you could try various tactics of wooing him. Whatever you do to get him to notice you, let him be the one to take the cue and arrive at a decision.
This could mean that he is trying to fit you into a profile way before you're ready, it could also mean that he genuinely likes you and wants you to be his girlfriend. Calling a lady they have feelings for their girlfriend is a big step towards commitment. If you feel the same way as he does, go for it and find romantic bliss.
There’s really no ideal time because of our individual differences. However, research shows that the ideal time for couples to talk about exclusivity in relationships is within the first four weeks of dating.
It has been proven over time that increased absence causes the heart to grow fonder. You could intentionally stay away from him for a while and allow him ample time to reminisce.
I trust that this article was of immense value to you, as usual, your opinions and comments are always welcome. Re-visit this post anytime you need a fix as its contents are intended to guide you. Please do not forget to share this with your friends, business associates, and on your social media platforms.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.