“I feel like he takes me for granted” is one of the most common complaints among most women in relationships. Any guy who makes a habit of taking you for granted doesn’t deserve you – there’s no two ways about it. You should not be in a relationship where you are undervalued and taken for granted.
Being with a man that fails to love or appreciate you can be frustrating and upsetting. The truth is – overfamiliarity sets in once you have been with someone for a while. This is in itself the origin of the problem.
You have noticed that your partner has become complacent and contemptuous about your partnership. Things like work, family problems, and pursuit of life have replaced you on his list of priorities. He rarely makes any effort to be affectionate or spend time with you.
When it seems like you have had enough of your partner taking you for granted, you confront him, and he promises to do better, which he does. However, with time, he returns to his old unaffectionate, and unappreciative ways.
All of these sound like you, right? Continue reading to discover what to do if your man takes you for granted.
- 1 13 Things To Do When A Man Takes You For Granted
- 1.1 1. Identify what has changed in your relationship
- 1.2 2. Think about why you feel unappreciated
- 1.3 3. Try to see things from your partner’s perspective
- 1.4 4. Talk things out with your man
- 1.5 5. Learn to stand your ground
- 1.6 6. Dedicate more time to the relationship
- 1.7 7. Place a premium on yourself
- 1.8 8. Try not to show signs of desperation
- 1.9 9. Take some time away from him
- 1.10 10. Ask those around you for help
- 1.11 11. Talk to a relationship counselor
- 1.12 12. Suggest taking a break
- 1.13 13. Call the relationship quits
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
13 Things To Do When A Man Takes You For Granted
1. Identify what has changed in your relationship
You guys didn’t start this way; something must have prompted your partner’s change in behavior. Think back to when you once felt valued and appreciated by the person taking you for granted now. It may also stem from the fact that you are expecting too much from your partner.
Either way, identifying those things that have changed in the partnership can make a difference and help you find a solution to the problem.
Think back to when the two of you started dating and the stuff your partner did to make you feel appreciated. You would discover that some fun stuff you did in the past no longer happens now. Once you can find out what has changed, start doing whatever you need to do to rectify the problem.
2. Think about why you feel unappreciated
There’s the question of why you think you are being taken for granted. Like all questions, this particular one requires an answer. The answer you seek may be within you; you don’t just know it yet. It would help if you took a holistic look at the issues from all perspectives.
Make a mental list of the stuff your partner does that makes you feel undervalued and unappreciated. Furthermore, ask yourself this question: what has changed about me? Taking an inward look at yourself would reveal those areas of your life that need to be worked on for normalcy to return.
3. Try to see things from your partner’s perspective
Most men don’t set out to be unappreciative of their women or to mistreat them. Several factors contribute to why they turn out to be that way. So, whenever you feel mistreated in a partnership by your romantic partner, try to give him the benefit of the doubt and consider things from his perspective.
Although it can be hard to do this, especially when you are the one being taking for granted, it saves you from drawing false conclusions. Seeing things from the other person’s perspective will help you understand why he treats you this way. Additionally, it will enable both of you to find a solution.
4. Talk things out with your man
One effective way to deal with the issue is by talking about it with your partner. If you ever feel like your boyfriend or husband is taking you for granted, don’t be afraid to tell him upfront. Chances are, your boyfriend may not understand how his actions are being perceived.
Although this may feel awkward or uncomfortable, it’s something you must do if you are intent on salvaging what is left of your relationship. Don’t try to read the mind of your partner, so you don’t make incorrect assumptions.
When engaging him in a conversation, try not to attack or blame your partner for everything. The whole point of the discussion is to get to the root and proffer lasting solutions to it for the relationship’s good.
5. Learn to stand your ground
Try not to let your guard down once the both of you have talked about the reason he doesn’t appreciate you. Please stick to your guns and by no means let him convince you otherwise. It’s not every time you say yes to anything your significant other asks you for. If it’s not convenient for you, don’t hesitate to say no to him.
Relationships are a two-way street; love and attention should flow from both ends. Don’t ever make the mistake of feeling like you always have to be the one to compromise. Try to stand your ground at least half the time so that you can break the pattern of him taking you for granted.
6. Dedicate more time to the relationship
You may have noticed a decline in the relations between you and your partner. It might be that the chemistry between the two of you is not as it was when you started together. Contrary to what you may be thinking, playing mind games, or ignoring your partner to make him feel bad isn’t mature and won’t solve anything.
With that in mind, setting aside ample time to reconnect and bond with your significant other can make a difference. That could mean weekend trips, date nights, or better still, doing anything fun-related that can rekindle the spark in the relationship. Chances are, being around each other regularly can bring back fond memories of the woman he asked out in the past and make him value you more.
7. Place a premium on yourself
Most men take women who don’t value themselves for granted. More often than not, women do everything to make things work right from the beginning of the partnership. By doing so, they set a negative precedent that the man takes as a norm.
Place a high premium on yourself, and no man will take you for granted. Work on your self-esteem so you can understand your value. Once your man notices the value you place on yourself, he will show you the love, respect, and appreciation you deserve.
8. Try not to show signs of desperation
Showing signs of desperation portray you in a bad light that lets people take undue advantage of you. The worst that can happen if you speak up for yourself is that you and your partner break up. In itself, it is not the end of the road for you to find happiness. Desperation will push you into doing things you won’t be proud of in the future.
Try not to focus on your negative feelings, as it will only make you feel worse. It’s normal to be angry, but don’t let your anger drive you into desperation and loneliness. Besides, it’s the fear of being alone that makes you allow him to take you for granted and mistreat you.
9. Take some time away from him
Regardless of what you may think or believe, overfamiliarity is the bane of relationships. Don’t give your partner the impression that you don’t have a life of your own. Additionally, don’t live your life around your partner and his needs. Make sure you go on private vacations, outings, family reunions, and do those activities you like to do.
Making yourself unavailable to your significant other is one way to prevent him from taking you for granted. Don’t make a habit of sacrificing your plans to accommodate that of your partner. If he makes plans that don’t agree with yours, be sure to let him know and insist he takes it into account.
10. Ask those around you for help
If you get to a point where your coping mechanisms no longer protect you from harm, you may need to ask people around you for help. Of course, some people know how to work through their issues alone. Notwithstanding, solutions are easy to come by when you solicit help from a good friend, colleague, or relative.
But here’s the thing – most people prefer not to interfere in matters of the heart unless they are involved. Don’t expect those around you to know what you are going through when you haven’t told them.
11. Talk to a relationship counselor
Counselors are readily available if you feel like you need a bit of extra help in dealing with the issue. A counselor provides you and your partner a safe space to constructively talk about your relationship’s problems.
Talking to a counselor can help ease the stress and tension in the relationship before it escalates out of hand. Besides, agreeing to see a counselor implies that there is a potential for things to improve between you two.
12. Suggest taking a break
If your partner rarely appreciates your efforts, you may need to consider re-evaluating the relationship. Summon the courage and tell him you need a break from the relationship to weigh your options. If your guy truly loves you, the thought of losing you should do the trick.
Chances are, he may start to realize that he has been taking you for granted. What’s more, your partner will want to do everything within his power to address the issue so you can come back to him.
13. Call the relationship quits
If your boyfriend still doesn’t change after all is said and done, break up with him and find someone who will treat you like the queen you are. Of course, there are times when a situation may be salvageable, but there are also times when the smart thing to do is walk away.
If you discover that your significant other is stringing you along until he finds someone better, call the relationship quits because he won’t change his ways for you. Deciding to walk away will make room for someone who will love and cherish you. Breaking things off might be challenging, especially if you genuinely love him, but that might be the best thing to do at this point.
If you feel your romantic partner is taking you for granted, talk to him about your concerns. Chances are, he may not be aware you perceive his actions that way. Don’t hesitate to offer some options for how you like to be appreciated. There’s also the option of asking those around you for help or talking to a relationship counselor before considering a breakup.
When someone takes you for granted, it means that he/she undervalues or takes advantage of you. What’s more, the person naturally doesn’t focus on your best contributions to the relationship, talk more about appreciating them. It usually starts with them, sidelining you on essential matters. Then you discover that you are at the bottom of their priority list.
Silence is not golden in more ways than one, especially in relationships. Women use it to punish and inflict emotional pain on their partners. Men interpret silence in so many unhealthy ways, and it causes them to act irrationally. Silence diminishes how much satisfaction a man gets from a relationship.
Several subtle signs indicate when a man is taking you for granted. One of them is if he fails to acknowledge and appreciate the efforts you put into the relationship. Another one is if he regularly expects favors from you but hardly does anything for you.
Start by refusing to do stuff that you usually do for him. If you want him to realize that he has lost you, stop every form of intimacy, including sex. You can do one better by flirting with other guys when he is watching. If you want your message to hit home, use the silent treatment technique on him.
If you’re in a relationship where your generosity and efforts are being taken for granted, the tips mentioned above will guide you on what to do. Hopefully, they’ll stop a breakup (if you’re considering that). Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences on the subject in the comments below. If you found this post helpful, don’t hesitate to share it across your social networks.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.