Are you going to have sex for the first time with someone experienced?
A lot of pressure can come along with that fact; you wonder if you measure up to your partner’s past lovers, whether you have enough protection or not, and how to make sure it is an enjoyable experience for both of you. There are probably a lot of things weighing on your mind!
This article will provide you with the best tips when having sex for the first time with someone experienced. Hopefully, these tips will help you feel more confident and relaxed in the many ways that you do not right now.
Having sex for the first time is a big next step if this is a new experience for you. We want to help you feel like you’ve made the best decision for you.
Don’t let anyone pressure you to have sex for the first timeif you aren’t ready. Make sex something special for you and your partner – a memorable moment with a person you are in love with. Don’t rush into your first time having sex; otherwise, you may have regrets in the future.
- 1 What You Should Know Before Having Sex With An Experienced Partner
- 1.1 1. Don’t feel rushed to have sex for the first time
- 1.2 2. Try not to stress out about it
- 1.3 3. Be honest with your sexual partner
- 1.4 4. Pick a partner who respects you
- 1.5 5. Plan ahead
- 1.6 6. Be confident in your abilities
- 1.7 7. Don’t compare this to another experience
- 1.8 8. Enjoy the foreplay and cuddling
- 1.9 9. Always tell your partner how you are feeling
- 1.10 10. Be private about your sex life
- 1.11 11. Make the environment special
- 1.12 12. Practice safe sex
- 1.13 13. Take your time
- 1.14 14. Do not compare yourself to other people
- 1.15 15. Only do what you feel comfortable doing
- 1.16 16. Talk to your partner about your likes and dislikes
- 1.17 17. Be yourself
- 1.18 18. Talk about your emotions
- 1.19 19. Practice good hygiene
- 2 The Dos and Don’ts For Being With An Experienced Partner
- 3 FAQs
- 4 To Sum Things Up…
What You Should Know Before Having Sex With An Experienced Partner
1. Don’t feel rushed to have sex for the first time
While many people may say that you should wait until marriage for your first time having sex, you, of course, do not have to do this. I think many people recommend this because of how their first time was; they have bad memories and want to make sure your first time is special and with someone you love and who loves you, too.
Make your first time special, and you don’t have to listen to other people talk about their experiences with their first time. Sex can be a magical thing for the two people involved. Just don’t feel pressured to do something you aren’t ready to do. You don’t have to have sex for the first time just because your partner is ready; do what you feel ready to do.
You and your partner should enjoy the company of each other before you even worry about having sex. Take things slow in your relationship; that’s a good way to get to know each other without having sex cloud your judgment. Once you’ve had sex for the first time, you can never get that experience back, so make certain it’s a joyful memory.
2. Try not to stress out about it
Sometimes, the easiest way to get through something that you are nervous or anxious about is to just stop thinking about it so much. Try to think about the things you are good at and have a lot of experience with, like french kissing or basketball. Focus on those thoughts when you feel yourself starting to pay attention to sex too much.
3. Be honest with your sexual partner
If you are having sexual intercourse for the first time with someone, you should let them know you are a virgin. You want it to be memorable, and your partner would be more likely to help you make it that way if he or she knew what was going on. You have to remember that people aren’t mind-readers; they need you to tell them the truth.
If you are a guy or girl hoping not to be discovered as a virgin, you could just let them know you are not that experienced with sex. That isn’t a lie, and you’ve left the door open for you to have a candid conversation about sex and what you expect from each other.
4. Pick a partner who respects you
Ideally, you are planning your first time to be with someone who loves you and who you love, but respect is very important when it comes to sex. You want your partner to listen to you and what you have to say about how you are feeling throughout the experience. You also want a person who cares for you and about you in all ways.
5. Plan ahead
There are many ways you can plan ahead to make this a memorable moment. You may want to make sure the two of you can be alone or at least have a private moment together. If your house or dorm room is too packed to make this happen, what about investing in a hotel room? It might be worth it if it could make this more special for you!
Also, pick a time when it’s convenient for you and your partner. You probably don’t want to make him rush on his lunch hour, for example. Likewise, if you are cramming for a big test and feeling a lot of stress, now may not be the best time for this. Your nerves are probably already a mess without adding the pressure of your first time to the mix.
6. Be confident in your abilities
I’m not speaking about your sexual abilities if you currently feel that you are lacking in that department. Instead, I mean just have confidence that you can do this without anything going wrong. Try not to think about what could possibly go wrong; instead, focus on the positives you have to offer your partner. What are you bringing to the table?
Are you confident about the way you look or carry yourself? Many times, just carrying yourself with a great deal of confidence can make you extremely sexy. If you are a woman looking forward to having sex with a man, you probably won’t have to try too hard. He obviously already thinks you are gorgeous and wants to make love to you.
Many guys become sexually attracted to women who are confident and carry themselves beautifully. So, even if you feel as though you don’t know what you are doing in the bedroom, you can portray a level of confidence in the way you carry yourself. Some people call this “faking it until you make it,” but remember to always be yourself.
7. Don’t compare this to another experience
Each moment and adventure is different. You don’t need to compare this to anything else; there’s no need to. You want to make this an original, amazing experience with this partner – something new that you have never had with anyone else. You wouldn’t want your partner comparing you to other people; treat him or her the same way.
8. Enjoy the foreplay and cuddling
Often, the foreplay, the stuff you do before you have sexual intercourse, is the best part of sex. It gives you a chance to ease into sex without doing it just yet. Cuddling is especially wonderful after sex because you are both exhausted and feeling happy about what just happened. Your endorphins have been released, giving you the feeling of joy.
9. Always tell your partner how you are feeling
You never want to be uncomfortable during sex, so be honest with how things are going as you have sexual intercourse. If something hurts or if you have an unpleasant feeling, be sure to talk to your partner about it. You don’t want them to feel awful for something they weren’t even aware of.
10. Be private about your sex life
You don’t have to broadcast to all of your friends and teammates that you are about to have sex, and I definitely wouldn’t recommend recording your first time having sex. While you do want it to be memorable, that isn’t how you want to remember it. Turn off your electronic devices and let the moment carry you away somewhere magical.
11. Make the environment special
This may be the perfect time for you to invest in lingerie; do your hair and makeup all pretty, too. In fact, you may wish to get a whole spa treatment before having sex – get waxed, get your nails done, get a massage, etc. You’ll want to look your best, right? Wear some perfume with pheromones in it to give an alluring sensation for him!
12. Practice safe sex
Remember that you cannot 100% protect against birth control with condoms; you may want to double up on the protection by using birth control pills and condoms. It’s better to be safe with these things than to have regrets later on. They also make a female condom if you want to give that a try. Whichever method you chose, just be smart.
That means, read the instructions and maybe even visit with a pharmacist to get the correct directions on how to use it right. You can also go to many free health clinics to seek advice; there are probably some nearby or on-campus if you are in school.
Just remember that birth control pills take a few months to take full effect in preventing pregnancy, and they DO NOT protect against sexually transmitted diseases. If you think that your partner has had many sexual partners, you may want to ask him or her to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases but still, be sure to use condoms for protection.
13. Take your time
Remember that this is not a marathon; you don’t have to rush to the finish line. Go at the pace that makes you feel most comfortable. Don’t feel rushed about this.
14. Do not compare yourself to other people
You may have heard different experiences from your friends or relatives; you are not them. You don’t have to say you had the same experience if you did not. In fact, you don’t have to tell anyone anything about what happens between you and your lover. You may wish to keep this special occasion all to yourself!
15. Only do what you feel comfortable doing
If you’ve got a stomach bug or the flu, don’t think that having sex is going to make you forget all about it. You should really wait for a better time. For one thing, your body is already going through a lot if you are sick or not up to this emotionally. Second, your body will be going through a ton if you have sex. How will that mix with your stomach?
Be sure to think it through before you have sex with someone. You want it to be magical, not embarrassing, right? If you are uncomfortable for any reason, don’t follow through with it, especially if you are a virgin who was planning to pretend he or she was not one.
16. Talk to your partner about your likes and dislikes
The best sex you could have would be an interactive one, not where you are just lying there letting it happen without your participation, right? If you are hoping for this to be enjoyable, you need to speak up and explain what you love and what you could do without. He or she will have no idea what is pleasing to you unless you speak up.
If you like certain things or think you will like things, ask your lover what he or she thinks about it. For example, if you think talking dirty will help you achieve the most satisfaction in bed, you can ask your partner what he or she thinks of that if they are game, or just start talking like that to see if you get their attention by doing that.
By going for it, you should be able to gauge their opinion on the subject if you did not talk about it ahead of time. If they cringe or stop whatever they are doing, they probably do not like it, and you should stop. If they get even more passionate, continue on because you are on the right track!
17. Be yourself
Being yourself is a good idea when having sex for the first time because you won’t be pretending to be an experienced person when really you are a virgin or have very little experience. Instead, just enjoy yourself and be who you really are.
18. Talk about your emotions
If you are feeling quite nervous or excited, it’s smart to just talk about it with your partner. There’s no reason to act like you have everything underhand if that’s the furthest thing from the truth. It’s much easier to show honesty than it is to fake being someone you are not. Plus, you will probably enjoy the experience more if you talk honestly while having it.
For example, if you are close to climaxing (having an orgasm), talk to your lover, and tell him or her what’s going on. By doing it like that, they won’t stop what they are doing and can help you achieve maximum satisfaction!
19. Practice good hygiene
There’s almost nothing worse when having sex than someone who has terrible breath or wretched body odor. Smelling good is important if you are sharing your body with another person. So, brush your teeth, shave where you need to, and put on some cologne, deodorant, and/or perfume to make you smell delicious.
Your partner will thank you for thinking of them. Plus, who is more irresistible than a person who smells nice?
I think having good hygiene is crucial to the moments that lead up to sex. It’s physically gross to be with another person who has not recently showered or smells like a dirty sock. You will get much further with your partner if you smell good.
The Dos and Don’ts For Being With An Experienced Partner
- Do try not to think about his past sex life.
- Don’t fake it; speak up if you do not feel comfortable with something.
- Do imagine that it is his first time, too.
- Don’t feel pressured to have an orgasm; many women have trouble here.
- Do enjoy yourself and go with it, as long as you feel comfortable.
- Don’t ask about how you were compared to other people.
If you are wanting to have penetrative sex, you could talk about that and what it will feel like to you. Penetrative sex occurs when full intercourse takes place. Also, ask about his richest fantasies to see how active his imagination is and what to expect in the future.
After having sex for the first time, you can continue to have sexual intercourse with other people if you want to have a lot of sex with different people. You could also watch pornographic movies and use toys to learn more about your body without another person involved.
Some people have sex as a means to procreate (have babies), while others use it as a way to show love to another person. Many people celebrate their marriages and new love by having sex for the first time if they happen to be virgins at the time of marriage.
A guy cannot usually tell if you’ve had sex with someone else. If you act experienced and know the ins and outs of having sex, you may give it away if that is something you are trying to keep private. Your best bet is to be honest with your partner.
It depends on what you think about having sex for the first time. Do you want to wait until marriage or until you first fall in love? Are you just wanting to have sex for the first time regardless of who it’s with? Try to make sex special, if possible.
To Sum Things Up…
Are you looking forward to the first time having sex with someone? Try not to let the pressure get to you. After the first time, sex becomes less special, so make sure it is a wonderful memory if you can. We’d love to hear from you. Please comment, and share!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.