Once that special someone comes into your life, you'll realize sooner than later that maintaining your other relationships is a challenge.
You'll be so busy with your girlfriend's duties and investing your time and energy in your romantic relationship that it may eat into the time you usually spend with other friends. However, some people still manage to maintain healthy and thriving friendships, even with closest friends of the opposite sex.
People often wonder how their partners feel about these friendships and if it’s even safe for the relationship. Unfortunately, there are no direct answers to these speculations, it all basically depends on the couple involved. Some couples think it’s no big deal to have friends of the opposite sex while others would rather avoid it completely.
If you have just begun a new chapter of your life with someone new, yet you still want to maintain your friendship with your male friends, then you could use these few tips listed below to keep everyone happy.
- 1 11 Tips To Hang Out With A Guy Friend When You Have A Boyfriend
- 1.1 1. Make sure he trusts you
- 1.2 2. Don't date a jealous guy
- 1.3 3. Be open about your life in general
- 1.4 4. Be sure to introduce them
- 1.5 5. Some behavioral adjustments need to be made
- 1.6 6. Let him know about the past
- 1.7 7. Be open to reasonable compromises
- 1.8 8. You've got to let him hang out with his girlfriends too
- 1.9 9. Be sure that your male friend doesn't have romantic feelings for you
- 1.10 10. Listen to your partner
- 1.11 11. Try to spend less time alone with your guy best friend
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Sum Up
11 Tips To Hang Out With A Guy Friend When You Have A Boyfriend
1. Make sure he trusts you
Establishing trust early on in the relationship is key. This is even more important when it comes to having a guy friend while you’re dating. First of all, ensure that you’re honest with your boyfriend and you never give him a reason to doubt you.
If he knows that you are committed to him and no matter what happens you would not go against your values, then he will worry less when you’re out with your friends. Act how you would like him to act if he had a girlfriend.
Also, right from the first day you decide to hang out with your male friend, you have to be open with your boyfriend. Let him know who your friend is and what exactly your relationship with him looks like. This way when you tell him you're out with your guy friend, there will be no hard feelings.
2. Don't date a jealous guy
There are no two ways about this, guys generally do not like the thought of their girlfriends hanging out with other guys. It gets worse when you have a jealous boyfriend.
A mentally healthy man will put aside his emotions and accept that he can trust you as long as this other guy is just a friend. However, a guy who is generally jealous will not accept it, whether you have proven yourself to be trustworthy or not.
Naturally jealous guys are very often cheaters themselves and they fear that their girlfriend will get involved with another guy too. They’ve probably crossed the line with a female friend before and they think you could do the same. It's best to avoid dating a jealous man if you still wish to hang out with your male friends.
3. Be open about your life in general
Being open with your partner builds trust, it shows that you have nothing to hide. This does not mean you should go overboard and tell him every single place you go or give him an update on your activities every minute. You’re his girlfriend, not his prisoner. It simply means you should not hide things from him especially when you spend time with friends.
If it matters to him, it's best to let him know what you do with your friend or friends. It's also best to hang out in a group if you have a guy best friend, being alone together just seems fishy.
4. Be sure to introduce them
The mistake most women make is failing to introduce their friends to their boyfriends early on. It’s wrong to tell your boyfriend that you're going to hang out with your male bestie when you've never formally introduced them. Your boyfriend hasn't met this person face to face so he doesn't even know if he is concerned or not. Your partner should get to meet all your friends.
If your male friend or friends are not considered classically attractive, it's even better. This will give your boyfriend less to feel concerned about. He'll understand that his girlfriend is way out of their league and there's a very slim chance that anything sneaky will happen.
However, the aim of introducing your guy friends to your boyfriend is not to parade their unattractiveness around, it's to let your boyfriend know that there's nothing to hide and he can trust you.
5. Some behavioral adjustments need to be made
When your status has changed from single to ‘in a relationship’, lots of things change. First of all, you need to be aware that things will also change with the way you relate to your friends. This is with emphasis on your guy friends.
If you're used to hugging, giving pecks, cuddling, or sitting on his lap, that may have to change. Try to talk to your guy friends and let them know why these changes have to take place and what boundaries need to be set.
Let them know that lots of silly games which include physical contact may be wrong now. No more piggyback rides, no more snuggling on the couch or even sitting too close while playing video games.
Less physical contact and more civil behavior. This might be a little weird at first and it may cause a slight strain on your friendship, however, if you're good friends and they care about you, they'll be willing to make things work.
6. Let him know about the past
Some people have some weird history with their male friends. Once upon a time, they may have had more than just a platonic friendship. They may have had a friend-with-benefits arrangement or gone into a full-blown relationship yet things are different now.
If you and your male buddy have some history, then you need to let your boyfriend know. Let him know that whatever happened in the past is in the past but now you’re just friends. Let him know about this early on in the relationship. This will prove to him that he can trust you and you have nothing to hide.
Talking to him about it later on or not talking about it at all could ruin your relationship and damage the trust.
7. Be open to reasonable compromises
All relationships come with compromises, both parties need to make adjustments to accommodate the other person in their life. Some compromises may be harder to make and some may be less trouble but most are necessary for a relationship to work.
Be ready to disregard some of your wants and adjust a little, but remember, this doesn't mean your boyfriend should call all the shots, you have a say too. İt's reasonable for him to ask that you spend less time with your guy friends but it's just plain ridiculous for him to ask you to cut them off completely.
You both need to sit and talk about how you can meet each other in the middle. If he insists on making you choose between dating him and keeping your guy friends, that may be a red flag.
8. You've got to let him hang out with his girlfriends too
There are two sides to this coin; if you expect him to be okay with your guy friends then you may need to accept the fact that he may want to hang out with his girlfriends too. So, if you are worried at the thought of your husband or boyfriend hanging out with other girls then you have no business asking him to let you hang out with your guy friends.
You need to treat your boyfriend how you would like to be treated, let him keep his girlfriends, but with the appropriate boundaries set. You both need to build mutual trust, trust him with his girlfriends if you'd like him to trust you with your guy friends.
9. Be sure that your male friend doesn't have romantic feelings for you
You have to ensure that your friendship with your guy friends is truly platonic. Make sure you don't have any extra feelings for your male pal and he isn’t interested in you either.
If you both have a history together, then make sure all those residual feelings are dealt with before you decide to enter into a serious relationship. If you can't seem to shake off those feelings then it's best not to continue your friendship with this person.
If you start to notice signs that he has more than just platonic feelings for you then you should address it immediately. Don't act like you don't know and string him along, you'd be hurting him and there's a chance that you could damage your relationship with your boyfriend if he finds out. It's all about being open and honest.
10. Listen to your partner
Don't forget that your boyfriend is a guy and he understands how a guy’s mind works. If he suspects something about your friend, you should at least give him a listening ear. This especially applies if you recently met this friend of yours, you don’t have any experience with him so you may not know if he's up to no good.
Sometimes, guys can be complicated, you can't tell what's on their minds and why they do the things they do. The only people who fully understand men are guys themselves. So, if your boyfriend is worried about your friendship with a guy at work, school, or wherever, listen to him and make adjustments where it's needed.
11. Try to spend less time alone with your guy best friend
It's best to call a spade a spade. The truth is there's always a chance of having a spark with the opposite gender. All you need is the right mood, the right moment, and the right location, anything can happen. This is especially true when you have disagreements with your boyfriend, you could be tempted to do something crazy in the heat of the moment.
So, you need to avoid spending too much alone time with a friend of the opposite gender when you're dating. It's best to avoid bad things instead of letting them happen and regretting them later.
It all depends on you and your boyfriend, are you both fine with that? If you feel comfortable with the idea of your boyfriend spending time with his female friends, then it's fine for you to expect the same from him. Most couples aren't ready to entertain the risks of having opposite-sex friends, but if you and your partner are, it's fine.
Just because you're hanging out alone with a guy, it doesn't mean that it's a date. If you're friends with a guy and you both don't have feelings for each other, then hanging together does not make it a date. However, if you have feelings for each other and are trying to set the mood for future interactions then you're definitely on a date.
One major sign that could help you determine if your male friend likes you is if he keeps commenting on the amount of time you spend with him. If he complains that you aren't around much, it means that he enjoys your company. This is a sign that he’s interested in you.
Some married couples feel that having close friends of the opposite gender besides your partner is not wrong, rather it’s totally normal and healthy for you and your relationship. However, other couples don't even want to risk it. If there's any chance of getting tempted to be unfaithful, they don't know what to do.
You can always tell when other men like you. A guy will give you extra and special attention. He'll make prolonged eye contact, buy you gifts, etc. Also, if you friendzone a guy who likes you, he probably still has feelings for you.
To Sum Up
I hope you found this article helpful. Remember, do what suits both you and your partner. If you feel uncomfortable seeing each other with the opposite sex, then don't engage. Please let me know what you think about this topic and be sure to share it with friends.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.