It’s not that hard finding a guy you like and can spend time with. But it could be hard finding one who would actually want to spend time with you.
It could be hurtful to be talking to a guy and he doesn’t mention anything about both of you going on a proper date. And when he eventually does, he doesn’t come through.
Sometimes, it may be his fault, and other times, he probably wants to hang out with you, but other plans come up. However, if you talk a lot, connect on so many levels but observe it doesn’t go beyond that, it could be a nasty behavior.
He may see you as his friend, feel comfortable hanging out with you but because he’s keeping his options open, he’ll stall on such public hangouts. But how do you know what he’s up to when he says he wants to hang out but comes up with excuses?
Or, how do you know if he’s lying about having other plans because he doesn’t want to hang out with you? Well, let’s uncover the reasons why a man would do that in the first place.
- 1 11 Reasons Why A Guy Would Say He Wants To Hang Out But Never Makes Plans
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
11 Reasons Why A Guy Would Say He Wants To Hang Out But Never Makes Plans
1. Tight schedule
If you’re into a man and you know he genuinely likes you but can’t make out time to see you, he could be busy with work, family, or other plans. He may feel like truly committing to a date would compromise his plans, even though he would like to hang out with you.
A man whose priority is his job or family won’t compromise on something like that because of a lady he could get to know at any time. So, if he cancels at the last minute, maybe something urgent came up. Or, he couldn’t beat the deadline he had for that particular project.
2. He’s not that into you
Sometimes, a man might like your company, but might not be into you. Many people like having that one person they can talk to when they’re bored, sad, stressed, or just need to wile away time while keeping their options open.
So, it’s always good to be on the same page with him to be sure where you’re headed. Try to avoid a situation where you start having feelings for him when he doesn’t yet.
Even though you really want to date him, you can’t force someone to be interested in you in that way. So, if he keeps canceling on you, while that may be manipulative behavior, it’s also a sign that he’s not that into you.
3. Nervous to meet you
He could be nervous. Sometimes, we could read the signs the wrong way, and feel someone is a jerk when he’s really just shy. Maybe, he actually wants to see you, but can’t summon up the courage to show up when it’s time. It happens, especially if they’ve had a tough experience with other girls.
So he could make all the necessary reservations or pick cool date locations, organize the meals and surprises but when it’s time to meet you, he cancels. That doesn’t make him a nerd either, men like this just need more time.
It’s a challenge for them to own their feelings. So maybe next time when making plans, assure him that you’ll show up at a location he’s comfortable at, (maybe a favorite diner or park).
4. Open options
Here’s the thing, many men have other alternatives when it comes to who they want to date. They do this to avoid disappointments, hurt, or to confirm who they can really deal with without stress.
He may have a few other women he messages or calls to ask when they’d be free to hang out. When they all respond, he chooses who he’d like to take on a date and cancels on the others. It’s a bit unfair to you and it could make you feel heartbroken. But it’s something you should try to look out for.
5. He could want you to say it first
Just as you’re expecting him to say something, he’s probably expecting you to say something first or make the first move to remind him about the date. Do you know when two people are waiting on who will text or call first? That could be the case.
I know it sounds like a convenient excuse, but it’s actually a thing. He could also not know you that well to figure out the right place to take you. So sometimes, it’s good to say something if you like a guy. It’s not that easy for some men, but it’s worth it.
6. Light and fun
You know there are a lot of things that work more when they’re light and fun. Maybe he’s enjoying how the flow between you is going and he does not want anything to ruin that.
Some men like it when everything naturally goes well so they’d rather enjoy the fun until the situation naturally upgrades or downgrades on its own. If you’re sure he’s really into you, maybe you should give it a little more time. If it’s not his intention to keep you hanging on purpose, then there’s no reason to worry, the date will happen eventually.
7. Not interested yet
Not everyone we talk to wants to be in a relationship. Your meeting may have been out of the blues as in most cases, and the connection came unplanned so he may not be ready to be in a relationship. Now, any guy that starts dating a girl would feel she thinks he’s her boyfriend.
So he may have asked to meet up with you, but canceled when he realized you may not see it as a ‘no-strings-attached’ date.
Think about how you met. Was it based on business, during a tour, language class, at a store or did you have a one-night stand? Guys sometimes become interested in you because of what you have to offer.
So listen to why he calls or messages and what he mostly talks about whenever you both talk about, no matter how lengthy the conversation is. It would be a guide for you.
8. Check your attitude
You may not know but sometimes, it could be your attitude as well. Maybe you didn’t mean to push him away but it just happened. If he’s not the verbal type, he may just let it go but your relationship with him would never be the same.
That means his opinions about you have changed since he proposed the date. That could be the reason he called or messaged you to cancel. So, think about it, is there any time you yelled at him, spoke to him rudely, or made a negative comment about what he said?
It could be something you would never think of, an unpopular opinion or an insensitive one that made him change his mind. If this is the case, you could straighten things out, because he may not know you well enough to have such conversations yet.
9. Are you really interested?
I made this a question because sometimes, most people are not sure what they want. You may also have other plans which would make you only realize that he doesn’t make plans for dates when you’ve been disappointed by someone else.
Ask yourself certain questions to be sure you’d actually like to go out with him. Is he who you’d like to be with? Like I said earlier on, it may not be from his part.
You could also be making it difficult for him to make plans for you two to meet. Maybe you give him too many excuses as well, but at the same time, you could do it unconsciously. So check that as well.
10. What you tell him
Sometimes, guys feed on what you tell them about yourself. If you portray yourself as someone that does not like to hang out, they could take your word for it, especially if they don’t know you too well.
Avoid making statements like “I don’t really like going on dates” or “I’m quite a casual person. Just a drink and snacks at home will be fine” or “I’m not really the outgoing type”. Let him know you like being treated well. Drop enough tips for him to work with. The more fun activities you tell him you would love to enjoy, the clearer everything would be.
11. Give it some time
Not everything happens in a second or as we imagine it and sometimes, they do when we don’t expect them. Maybe, you both are actually on the right track. So, take your time to enjoy your friendship with him. Do other things you need to do to get to the dating stage.
Make plans or suggest dates that are more casual for the time being. Go see a movie together, go to a snack joint, take ice cream, and talk about the littlest things.
The amount of time you spend with this man could make it easier for him to connect with you on another level. If you make the date sound more casual and friendly and he still comes up with an excuse, maybe it’s time to forget this dude.
It depends on how you see it or what you expected. Don’t keep your hopes too high so you don’t get disappointed. Not all men love to go on dates, so he may not be such a fan or maybe he wants to keep things simple for a while till he’s sure you’re both ready for one.
He could indirectly be saying he misses you. So he’s trying to say “I loved the last time we spent together and I would like to see you again”. It may mean he likes you but that’s not always the interpretation of it. It could be a simple comment about how fun and outgoing you are.
He may just enjoy your company. You could also be that one person that understands him a lot or a good conversationalist to him. That could be his own way of trying to understand your kind of person as well, so he can know how best to ask you out.
They may be caught up with so many things and forget, or thanks to a family/work emergency, their mind was too occupied to remember. This sounds funny but they could say it as a nervous concluding statement, “I’ll call you!” when they don’t know how to end the call. In some cases, they intentionally never mean to call you back.
Guys always know what they want. They know when they’re attracted to you for sex, as a friend, or a future lover. Observe how he behaves when you’re together, does he give you his maximum attention? Does his body language suggest he’s into you? If not, he probably doesn’t want to be with you.
Enjoy the moment you share with any guy and don’t raise your expectations too high. If he doesn’t ask you out on a date but you’re really into each other, try the tips above and see how things go. If this article was helpful, please share and give it thumbs up.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.