There comes a time in almost every relationship where one partner grows apart from the other. Like branches on a tree, there are signs which pop up.
These are subtle indicators that the relationship may end soon. But unfortunately, many couples do not pay attention to them. This could be because they are too busy dealing with one or two of these traits. It can be excruciating, especially when you are at the receiving side of these signs and yet, do not know what to make of it.
On the other hand, you might go through transition phases that you need adjusting to. This does not necessarily mean you and your partner are growing apart. So once you both are interested in the relationship, you can make conscious efforts to save the union. Knowing the difference between these two is paramount to the progression of your relationship.
It is a known truth that people grow out of their relationships. But sometimes, couples barely know they are growing away until it is too late to save their relationships. Then they ask the obvious question, “what happened?”. Growing apart breaks the reverie you were in and makes you question why and how the distance between you and your husband started.
The signs were pretty obvious, but you probably did not realize the red flag was glaring in your face. Let me point out the signs to you.
- 1 13 Signs You Are Growing Away With Your Partner
- 1.1 1. Less communication
- 1.2 2. Frequent arguments and fights
- 1.3 3. Less time with each other
- 1.4 4. Indifference
- 1.5 5. Exclusion from your schedules
- 1.6 6. Less sexual connection
- 1.7 7. Blame game
- 1.8 8. Less physical intimacy
- 1.9 9. Focus on past memories than future possibilities
- 1.10 10. You always need your space
- 1.11 11. Loneliness
- 1.12 12. No eye contact
- 1.13 13. Changed interests
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
13 Signs You Are Growing Away With Your Partner
1. Less communication
Before and immediately after the honeymoon phase, remember how you always wanted to talk to him, and only him? Even when you speak to anyone else, it is still about him. Now, you barely feel the urge to talk to him, and when the topic is about him for a while, urghh! Please change the subject because he suddenly annoys you. Any communication about him for a bit is enough to make you roll your eyes.
His endearment titles barely mean anything. So, you try as much as possible to talk to him less each day. This is a sign you are growing away from him. Also, communication does not necessarily mean not talking to each other. It also means not addressing the “hard issues” or unspeakable. And once that becomes normality, the relationship is about to end.
2. Frequent arguments and fights
What is a relationship without disagreements? Disagreements happen in every relationship. However, when the frequency of these arguments rise to a certain level, where the most unnecessary things cause a fight, then there is a cause to worry. This is because you may not be able to stand your spouse. A mean word here and there, and it gets easier to walk away from a mean partner.
3. Less time with each other
You barely spend time together with your partner because all of a sudden, his presence annoys you. His voice sounds too stern. He is so commanding. He does not know how to clean up appropriately. But this is how he has always been, and you had no problem with it.
When this happens, you don’t want to see him or even spend time with him, not even as friends. And when spending time as lovers in a relationship becomes a chore, there is a problem. And at this rate, no relationship can strive.
During your honeymoon, you were ready to kill any woman who would dare look at your spouse more than twice. But now, you don’t care. You saw his secretary trying to flirt with him the other day, and instead of turning she-alpha and being possessive about your man, you just shrugged your instead and left the scene with no emotions attached. There was no anger, pain, or sadness; there was nothing. You don’t care, and that is a major red flag.
5. Exclusion from your schedules
You do not do things together anymore because your husband may seem like a nuisance. Also, where you do not consider your partner (in cases where you formerly did), this is a sign that you are growing apart in your relationship. For instance, you won a trip to spend two days in your favorite hotel, but you do not tell your partner, and instead go with a friend.
6. Less sexual connection
The sexual intimacy you shared during the beginning of the relationship was just out of this earth and mind-shattering. Now, you barely even hold hands anymore, because you almost feel nothing when he touches you. Even when you want to try, sometimes, the spark and connection you may exude seem so off. You wonder why you never saw that coming, and give up the attempt.
7. Blame game
It is always his fault, and it does not matter whether the problem is coming from you or not. With each blame game, there is hardly room for compromise and understanding, which leads to hurt feelings and estrangement from both sides.
8. Less physical intimacy
Intimacy does not necessarily mean sex, but it is one of the necessaries for an emotional connection in the relationship, so much that where sexual intimacy fails, physical intimacy can come into the picture and balance things accordingly.
When it is almost impossible for you to share laughter and cheap gossip with your spouse like you used to, this may be because a gap has gradually grown between you two. So when holding hands or even sitting together tends to make you uncomfortable, you need to realize that this is a sign that you are gradually growing away.
9. Focus on past memories than future possibilities
Almost every discussion worth having somehow finds its way to the last memories and how things have changed. You tend to look back to the past because the present is looking bleaker by the day, and the future is even darker.
10. You always need your space
When you spend time with your partner, time is supposed to stand still. At an earlier phase in the relationship, you felt that. Now, you always spend time away from your partner to involve yourself with activities that do not include your other half. That is one ample red light. Couples who still need their space end their relationships sooner or later.
The spark is lost, and even when you two are together. It is quite apparent that you are lonely. There seems to be an unfriendly gap between you two, and it is even worse in the bedroom. This means there is an ugly storm over paradise. If not addressed soon, would leave a broken relationship beyond repair in its wake.
12. No eye contact
The lack of eye contact has been a sign that things may not be working out in the relationship. Studies show that when eye contact lessens, especially with women, there may be issues in the union. Experts say that eye contact proves the presence of affection.
So, if you want to produce powerful feelings from someone you are affectionate towards, look into their eyes. This implies that when your other half cannot meet your gaze. It says a lot about where your relationship is headed.
13. Changed interests
In every relationship, the couple may, in the beginning, have similar interests—both in the professional and personal aspects of their lives. Still, the future, they say, is uncertain. Therefore, it may come with new interests and prospects which may be incompatible with the life goals of the other partner.
When that happens, confusion sets in. Since parts are altered, it takes a toll on the relationship. We see this happening in too many celebrity marriages. As a result of taking a job in another country, the pair barely see each other or spend time together, thereby ending in a break-up.
It means gradually becoming distant from your spouse emotionally, and it does not feel safe to call what you two have a relationship.
If you are growing apart, the first point you should consider is whether you are dealing with a relationship change phase, or you are actually growing apart. When you are convinced that it is the latter, you would realize two or more of these signs; Little or no communication, less time is spent together, frequent arguments, loneliness, indifference, excluding your partner from your plans, etc. Each of these is a sign that things are going wrong.
You know you and your partner are growing apart when the least action by your spouse is enough to irritate you, and the differences between you two become so obvious. You wonder what made you say yes to him in the first place. Also, there seems to be little or no happiness in the relationship, and you always rather keep your distance.
Your relationship is falling apart when spending time with each other is an avenue for arguments. It becomes tough to hold meaningful communication, no connection with each other or whatsoever. You both want your space and there are sudden differences in interests. Also, you both feel indifference and exclusion from each other’s plans, etc. All these are visible indicators that the love in the relationship has been exhausted. Serious help must be sought to save the relationship.
It is noteworthy to couples in their various relationships that you have no control over how your partner feels. However, once you are invested in the relationship, it is of critical essence that you make conscious efforts not to grow apart in your relationship or see to its progression once you notice any sign enlisted above. This involves seeing a therapist, going for counseling sessions as couples, being willing to have hard conversations, and being kind to each other—even when you both do not agree on a matter.
In conclusion, growing apart from your partner is bound to happen at various phases of your relationship. However, whether there would still be a relationship or not, is dependent on you. You decide that fate at the end of the day. That is why you need to pay extra attention to all the signs enlisted above so that these traits pop up, you know what to do.
I hope you enjoyed this article. Let me know what you think in the comments section, and don’t forget to share the link with people you think might need this.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.