When you fall in love, it’s normal to want to be with that person every second of the day. You’re clouded with thoughts of him alone, you find yourself getting too attached, and you want to spend the night at his place. You equally want to watch movies together and make memories, which is perfectly OK, most especially if it is a new relationship.
But before your significant other came around, you most likely had friends, and you can't just neglect them because you now have a boyfriend. Yes, at some point, if you have more guy friends, you will need to set boundaries. However, this doesn't mean you should just ditch your guy friend all in the name of having a boyfriend.
Your friends and boyfriend are a crucial aspect of your life, and trying to strike a balance, especially at the initial stage, can be very exhausting. However, it must be done, so you don't get to hurt anyone. This isn't as easy as it seems, but you have to create a balance.
Below are 19 ways to balance your relationship with your boyfriend and friends.
- 1 19 Ways To Balance Your Relationship Between Friends And Your Partner
- 1.1 1. Have a conversation with your friends
- 1.2 2. Be considerate in your conversations
- 1.3 3. Set plans
- 1.4 4. Have a conversation with your boyfriend
- 1.5 5. Understand them
- 1.6 6. Share days
- 1.7 7. Stick to your commitments
- 1.8 8. Be free
- 1.9 9. If you make mistakes, be honest
- 1.10 10. Introduce them
- 1.11 11. It shouldn't be by force
- 1.12 12. Allow your partner to do his thing
- 1.13 13. Be mindful
- 1.14 14. Calm down with the public display of affection
- 1.15 15. Put yourself in your friend's shoes
- 1.16 16. Be responsive
- 1.17 17. Take a step back and observe the relationship
- 1.18 18. Question yourself
- 1.19 19. Enjoy a bosom relationship and friendship
- 2 FAQs
- 3 At The End Of The Day
19 Ways To Balance Your Relationship Between Friends And Your Partner
1. Have a conversation with your friends
Very likely, you’ve been with your best friend longer than your boyfriend. So you can talk to him/her about anything at all.
Speak to them to find out if they feel left out because you may be so consumed in your new relationship. The truth is you might not even notice you are no longer spending time with your best friend. You can also seek advice from your best friends, most especially if they have been in relationships before.
2. Be considerate in your conversations
When you are with your friends, the center of your conversation should not be your boyfriend, especially if it’s a guy friend. If you talk about 100 things, and 99 are about him—come on girl, that does not sit well.
Before the relationship formed, you had friends, and there are more things to talk about than your relationship with your boyfriend. It’s normal to get excited in a new relationship, and when you find your significant other, it’s natural to gush on about them. However, there should be a limit here.
Talk about your day-to-day activities, ask your best friends questions about their lives and what is going on with them, and just have fun. Appreciate personalized connections instead of always talking about other people.
3. Set plans
Before your relationship, did your best friend regularly go shopping or swimming with you? Nowadays, is it always them who initiates the meetup?
If so, set plans for your friends and with your boyfriend too. Don’t get too caught up in one web that you just abandon the other. No one wants to be in a position where they feel like they are not needed.
4. Have a conversation with your boyfriend
In any relationship, whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, communication is critical. So talk to your man about how you feel; in fact, tell him how you want to spend time with him and also with your friends, he will understand.
Let him know, so he doesn’t feel offended when you leave him alone to hang out with your friends. Yes, you love each other, but you need to build other relationships, especially when you have a best friend that stands by you.
5. Understand them
As much as you want, your boyfriend and best friends to understand you, you need to understand them too. When they talk to you about things concerning the relationship, listen to them. Respect the fact that they opened up to speak to you about those things and make efforts to adjust. It's not easy to balance everything but at least try since you care for them.
This next tip is not compulsory, but it is necessary if you are finding it hard to make time for everyone. So, pick a particular day to hang out with both your boy friends and other girl friends.
Then on other days, spend time with your boyfriend. It will make things easier and more organized for you. And if you have a guy friend, you need to be very sensitive to your schedule, so your boyfriend doesn't get jealous and start acting up.
7. Stick to your commitments
If you make a commitment to your friends or boyfriend, make sure you stick to it. Let’s say you’re meant to go swimming on a cozy afternoon with your friends, and your boyfriend calls you to come over, don’t ditch your friends like that. It can be very hurtful. Imagine someone doing that to you.
This also applies to your boyfriend. Don’t ditch him to go out with your girlfriends after plans have been made. Nevertheless, there are exceptions here. If there is an emergency, you will have to ditch one for the other but make sure you apologize and explain the situation to them later.
8. Be free
Be free to talk about what bothers you. If your boyfriend has a best friend who he always hangs out with more than you, it’s best to discuss your feelings.
When you open up and talk to him about it, things will likely dial down. If you don’t tell him, he wouldn’t even notice how uncomfortable you are anytime his best friend visits. Be free, and talk to your partner when you feel uncomfortable with their best friend being around, but do this in a very mature way.
9. If you make mistakes, be honest
Sometimes, you may have plans with your boyfriend, but you forget, then go ahead to also make plans with your girls. You are human, and anyone can make mistakes. When you choose to honor that appointment, make sure you reach out to the party that you ditched and explain the situation to them.
Ensure you are sincere and don’t lie about your reasons for going AWOL because it will make the situation worse when they find out you lied. Just tell the truth, and you will be forgiven.
10. Introduce them
You must introduce your beau to your friends, especially if most of them are guy friends. By doing this, you all can spend time together, and they will get to know him better and vice versa. You can invite him to one of your dance lessons, swimming classes, or even hang out with your best friend. This way, they get to know each other and feel comfortable around the person.
11. It shouldn't be by force
Your boyfriend and friends don’t need to become too peachy or relate to each other. Some guys don’t even like to get close to their girlfriend's friends, mostly if he is a guy friend. So, if he doesn’t want to meet them or hang out with them, then don’t force it.
You don’t have to insist on it or take it personally. He may get along with some and not get along with others, and that is okay. It’s not something you have to worry about. You don’t necessarily have to be close to everyone you know.
12. Allow your partner to do his thing
You have friends, and you want to strike a balance between your relationship and friendships. Your boyfriend has a life of his own; he has friends as well, even before you started dating. So as much as you want a balance, he also does.
So don’t put too much pressure on him. He has his schedule and plan. Let him do his thing the way he wants to. Both of you have to make sure you spend quality time together in order not to drift apart.
13. Be mindful
Be mindful of your boyfriend-related actions when you are with your crew, and vice versa. You may say you are spending time with your friends, but it’s pointless when you’re glued to your phone the whole time, chatting with or calling him. It’ll be as if you never spent time with them in the first place.
When spending time with your boyfriend or friends, make sure you are present and enjoy the moment. Don’t get too carried away on your phone or with something else that doesn’t concern them directly.
14. Calm down with the public display of affection
People can get uncomfortable and irritated when they are around couples who are constantly touching each other. So, try to limit public displays of affection with your partner when you are around your friends.
You don’t want to make everyone in the room feel weird or uncomfortable because of you. At the end of the day, your significant other may come and go, but your best friend stays forever.
15. Put yourself in your friend's shoes
Remember, there was a time when you were single; reflect on this. During that time, some of your friends may have gotten into relationships and suddenly drifted. Remember how that made you feel. It hurts to lose your friend because of a new relationship. So, don’t be the friend who makes people feel that way. Even more, do not neglect your boyfriend because you are trying to please your acquaintances. You must try to balance things.
16. Be responsive
If a friend sends you a message, be sure to reply to it and return their calls too. Dating does not give you a free ticket to stop responding to texts and emails. Don’t lose that anxiousness and eagerness you had to reply to your best friend in the past.
Things don’t have to change. Maintain a steady cadence when chatting with them, especially if you no longer see them often. That’s one advantage of the digital era. You can preserve friendship and keep connections using social media and gadgets.
17. Take a step back and observe the relationship
Take a step back and observe your relationship with your boyfriend and your friends. Sometimes, your mind is narrow, and you cannot see the full picture. Make sure you are not solely focusing on your relationship with your boyfriend, but also the one with your best friend. You don't want to treat one person wrongly and the other right. That is why you need to take a step back and view the whole thing, so one part doesn’t suffer.
18. Question yourself
Ask yourself questions like, ‘Am I spending enough time with my best friend? Am I giving quality attention to my boyfriend? Am I losing the bond with my friends? Is there still any meaningful connection between my boyfriend and me?
Also ask yourself, how does being with my boyfriend make my friends feel? Do I like my life right now? Am I happy with the way things are going?'. When you ask yourself these questions and answer them sincerely, you will know the actions to take next to balance your relationships.
19. Enjoy a bosom relationship and friendship
Enjoy your friendship and relationship. Having the two does not mean you have an extra hectic job. Don’t pressure yourself or impute stress on yourself. It’s not something you stress over. Don’t try so hard to balance things that you forget to live in the moment. Do whatever it takes to keep your relationships flourishing and make sure to bloom with them as well.
No, every single person is very important, because they play different roles. Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't make him more important than your best friend and vice versa. But if you are going to be spending forever with your man, then you have to put him first and the family you intend to make before anything else.
They are both important. Don't ever choose between them—you need your best friend as much as you need your boyfriend. They play different roles in your life. This is why you need to be able to balance both relationships.
Yes, provided she understands the importance of boundaries and knows you are his girlfriend. I am sure you won't want to be restricted from having a guy friend.
There are different reasons for this. This could be because he doesn't love you or he feels more comfortable, happy, and free when he is around his friends.
Firstly, they were most likely there before you met your boyfriend and they don't intend to go anywhere. When your best friend gives you advice, they do it for your best interest and they don’t want to see you get hurt. However, a man can come into your circle, break your heart, and leave you.
At The End Of The Day
I hope you found this article helpful. Don't forget that a boyfriend can come and go, but your best friend will always be there for you. Also, don't pay so much attention to your boyfriend that you neglect that one person who will always have your back; endeavor to balance. Let me know what you think, and please don't forget to share this article with others.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.