It takes a reasonably long time to decide you’re ready to be in a relationship. Sometimes, you meet someone and things start moving in a certain direction.
We’ve all heard the story before, boy meets girl, boy kind of likes girl and girl feels the same way. Boy and girl start talking and then get to know each other.
Twice a week turns to four times a week, which further transitions to every day or even multiple times a day. You are already spending most of your time together, and so you are beginning to consider dating him. Then he finally asks you out and you’re sure you want this, so you accept.
Now you are in it, but you realize this is completely new for you because you have never done this before! What do you do? Well, that is why we are here! Here are 11 tips to make your first relationship a successful long-term one.
- 1 11 Tips For A First Relationship
- 1.1 1. Go on dates
- 1.2 2. Be generous with your compliments
- 1.3 3. Don’t pick fights about little issues
- 1.4 4. Spend plenty of time with your friends
- 1.5 5. Try new things together
- 1.6 6. Go to their family or work events if you’re invited
- 1.7 7. Get to know their friends in doses
- 1.8 8. Explore sexually
- 1.9 9. Don’t only tell your friends about the negative sides of your relationship
- 1.10 10. Apologize when you’re wrong
- 1.11 11. Ask questions
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
11 Tips For A First Relationship
1. Go on dates
This is perhaps one of the most useful pieces of advice we can give you. Before you enter a relationship, there is a lot of wining and dining, involving dressing up and going to exciting places, and experiencing new things for the first time. Excitement is in the air and it helps you see your partner in a more appetizing light.
However, when we get into relationships, we stop going on as many dates as before. Things tend to get monotonous and that is what often contributes to making the relationship seem boring, or claustrophobic. Keep it exciting and go on regular dates. Once life gets boring for you two, the relationship will as well.
2. Be generous with your compliments
It is easy to overlook how effective genuine compliments are in your first relationship. Words of affirmations are generally the most coveted form of love language out there and it is easy to see why. People like to be appreciated and seen in any environment. Whether it is at work, in a relationship, or with family.
Paying your partner compliments will help them see that you are grateful to be a part of their life, and will make them feel appreciated, wanted, and loved. In turn, they will be grateful to you and the time you spend together.
3. Don’t pick fights about little issues
TV shows depict a lot of negative relationships; fighting, arguments, inequalities, and the likes. It’s easy to see that and deal with your first boyfriend as if you’re at war.
It’s not a battle of the sexes, it’s the chance to get more acquainted with your first love even though you feel like both of you have a lot to learn.
Of course, it will take time to get to that safe or comfortable place where both of you understand each other. That’s what makes the process more enjoyable. So, if you like this guy, breathe through those little disagreements and try to enjoy every moment instead. However, if your first love seems to be pressurizing, abusing, or belittling you, these are not little issues to be ignored.
4. Spend plenty of time with your friends
While being in love is always great, it is also very important to maintain your individuality. As much as you want to spend most of your time with your partner, it’s important to have a life outside the relationship. A good way to do this is to still be in contact with your friends.
A lot of girls lose sight of their friendships and other engagements once they have their first boyfriend. They are so engrossed in making the relationship work that they do not make efforts to maintain friendships or keep doing the hobbies they love.
Keeping your friends even when you’re dating someone for the first time will make your life richer, and you’ll be surrounded by love from both sides.
5. Try new things together
This goes hand-in-hand with going on dates, but it is not limited to it. You could watch new movies or series together, try a new restaurant or recipe, talk about current events and if you want, explore new levels of intimacy.
If this is your first time having sexual relations with a guy, please, don’t be pressurised to move too fast. It’s your life and your choice, so wait until you are comfortable enough before exploring deeper sexual relations.
Random surprises also go a long way here as well. Do not limit gift sending to only birthdays and Christmas. How about just getting him something because you thought of him? It doesn’t have to be expensive, it is always the thought that counts. When you get him something without him expressing the desire for that gift, it makes it even more special.
6. Go to their family or work events if you’re invited
Family and work events are a great way to get to know your significant other better. Getting to know his family will deepen the connection between the two of you as his family gauges and accepts you, he will feel even more comfortable with you.
Although, it is important to note that this can also be a risky move. This is because if his family does not like you, and he cares about their opinions, then this can negatively impact the relationship.
However, on the flip side, if they do like you, it can further improve the relationship. More so, it can introduce more well-wishers who want the relationship to work. This can be good for checks and balances when you may not be around. So, you might want to weigh your choices with this one.
7. Get to know their friends in doses
We have talked about getting to know their work colleagues and family, but what about their friends? Friends are even more important because, for most people, your friends are the family you choose.
Getting to know their friends will do two things for you. First, it will help you further understand the kind of person he is by knowing the kind of people he likes to keep around him. Secondly, it will give you the chance to establish a positive relationship with them, in order to help with those checks and balances we talked about earlier.
In any case, do not underestimate the power of friends. We in fact recommend that you meet with a friend as part of an assessment of your significant other before dating him.
8. Explore sexually
Let’s not be coy, there might be some things that you have always wanted to try sexually, be it that new position you just heard about. Or something that was done in the movie that made you feel kind of steamy.
In any case, do not be afraid to bring it up with your significant other. In fact, let him watch the scene so he understands what you are looking for. Remember, one of the most important things in relationships is openness and vulnerability. Being able to do and share these deep desires will further endear you to him and vice versa.
9. Don’t only tell your friends about the negative sides of your relationship
This is a huge mistake and most people realize it too late. The thing about only complaining about the relationship with your friends is that they do not see the bright sides. They never hear about when he brings you breakfast in bed, or when he says the right things.
They never hear about the way he listens or how he rocks in bed. With time, they may start to encourage you to leave the relationship without knowing the full picture. They will further expand the negative things, leading you to make rash, unfair decisions that might harm the relationship.
10. Apologize when you’re wrong
You always want to apologize when you are wrong in order to avoid resentment. You should put ego and pride aside and be humble enough to apologize when you hurt him, and vice versa.
11. Ask questions
This isn’t the time to be shy and coy, especially when this is your first boyfriend. Not everyone ends up marrying their first love, but you’ll learn a lot from dating him. So don’t be afraid to ask about his views, concerns, and complaints, and keep an open mind as well.
First relationships are new and can be scary, but they can last. They last when both parties are vulnerable, honest, and open to trying new things. It is also important to be patient and forgiving in first relationships as one or both parties are just learning how to act properly in this new context.
The 3-month rule simply states that when two people break up after a relationship, both parties must wait 3 months before getting into another relationship.
I am not sure there is a right age. Rather, I would say, kiss when you feel ready to and when you have found the person you feel comfortable kissing.
That depends on the guy, the girl, and the nature of the relationship. Ordinarily, in a good relationship where both parties are well-groomed hygienically, a guy might get aroused by kissing a girl. But again, it depends on the people, relationship, and situation.
You kiss by keeping your lips slightly apart and using it to caress the person’s lips softly. Make sure to keep your eyes closed and be present in the moment. You may use your hands to cup the person’s face, waist, or butt (if you’re feeling naughty).
I hope you enjoyed the list and will use it to know how to keep the fire going in your first relationship. First relationships can be confusing and scary, so make sure you regularly remind yourself of these tips. Do you think we left anything off the list? I’d like to hear your opinions in the comment section below. Please like and share this article if you enjoyed it or found it useful.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.