Dating in the 21st century is like rocket science; it's a mystery that so many people are able to find husbands and wives these days. People say women are confusing creatures, we can't be understood especially when we're emotional. However, men have their own complications, they have moments when you can't seem to figure out what they want.
For example, you meet a guy who you think likes you because he's giving you extra attention among other very obvious signs. Then after a while he just starts giving you the cold shoulder, becoming distant, or avoiding eye contact with you.
People always say that if a guy shows you he likes you, you ought to take a hypothetical step in his direction to show him that you're game. Some men will pull back the moment you show interest or they'll start acting weird, giving you mixed signals.
This is a very confusing situation to find yourself in, do you step back or do you keep letting him know you return his vague and fluctuating yet obvious feelings? If you're one of a million women who are still asking this question, then read on and see these examples of mixed signals from guys.
- 1 17 Examples Of Mixed Signals From Guys
- 1.1 1. He smiles at you a lot and makes eye contact
- 1.2 2. He asks if you're single
- 1.3 3. His body language seems inconsistent
- 1.4 4. He remembers things you told him
- 1.5 5. He gets a bit self-conscious when you're in the room
- 1.6 6. He opens up about his feelings
- 1.7 7. Switching gears
- 1.8 8. He calls or texts you unexpectedly
- 1.9 9. He pays more attention to you when there are other men around
- 1.10 10. He introduces you to his friends
- 1.11 11. He goes AWOL after a pleasant date
- 1.12 12. He texts you and doesn't give a response to your reply
- 1.13 13. He's confused about what he wants
- 1.14 14. He keeps canceling on you
- 1.15 15. He doesn't want you to see other people but won't commit to you
- 1.16 16. He's still actively talking to other people
- 1.17 17. He doesn't like the idea of you both showing affection outdoors
- 2 FAQs
- 3 The Bottomline
17 Examples Of Mixed Signals From Guys
1. He smiles at you a lot and makes eye contact
This is one of the first signs that he's into you, when a guy smiles at you a bit more than usual and keeps making eye contact, he's indirectly telling you that he's into you. So, the moment you notice that he's smiling at you and giving you lots of attention you may think, “this is a good signal” and we can't deny it, it feels quite pleasant.
However, it's important to remember that this is some people's normal way of life. Some people just smile a lot and maintain eye contact when they're talking because they were taught that it's polite. So don't get excited just yet, watch how he acts around other people, watch how he communicates with other people.
If he's all lovey-dovey around other people too, then you just may have misunderstood his gestures, but if he only reserves those flirty smiles for you, you may be in for a real treat.
2. He asks if you're single
He may not come out straight to ask you, but he'll definitely hint at it one way or the other. Men don’t just walk around asking people if they're single. Unless he's an insurance agent or a statistician taking numbers of singles and married people in your area or workplace, then it may be a sign that he’s into you.
It's your place to figure out exactly why he's curious about that. Is he just trying to know more about you? Trying to find out if he can ask you out on a date or perhaps he's asking for a friend. Still, all this can be very confusing since there's no way you can know for sure unless he chooses to tell you.
3. His body language seems inconsistent
Some people are better at reading people's gestures than others, however, everyone has a basic knowledge of this. Even if it's not verbally expressed you can tell when a person is happy, sad, irritated, angry, and so on.
As a female adult, you can always tell when a guy starts to show interest in you. It's obvious when he's giving you a little extra attention or when he's undressing you with his eyes. Whatever his gestures are saying, you can get a hint of them even if you're not an expert at reading people.
If he's doing things like standing closer to you or putting his hand on your back, then he probably likes you. If you reciprocate and he steps back then he may either be sending mixed messages or is afraid of moving too fast.
4. He remembers things you told him
A guy who gives you mixed signals is likely to be someone you see on a daily basis or just every other day. This means you've probably had several discussions with him, told him about some things in your personal life.
For example, if you met and talked a day or two ago, and you told him about an upcoming interview or a friend's birthday, then he asks you about it the next time you meet, it means it was on his mind. If a person has you on their mind it means they've taken some form of interest in you.
However, it may not be the kind of interest you're thinking of, he may just think you're an interesting or peculiar person, or he may just be someone who remembers stuff. Nonetheless, it would be wise for you to make these aren’t mixed messages.
5. He gets a bit self-conscious when you're in the room
We all know the feeling; your legs shake a bit, your mouth goes dry, and all of a sudden you can't make a complete sentence without stuttering. Your crush just stepped into the room. If you've noticed that he's a bit jittery when you enter the room or when you're around, then that's probably because he has some feelings for you.
For example, he's chatting loudly and laughing with some friends but the moment you step in he clams up or starts to act a bit weird. This could very well mean he likes you, or it could mean that he knows how you feel about him and does not reciprocate the feelings. So it makes him act awkward around you.
6. He opens up about his feelings
We all know that men are like clams when it comes to communicating their feelings, so if he manages to open up even a little about his feelings, he probably likes you. If he’s a guy that you love, it's easy to think that that's your cue to make a move to take the relationship to the next level.
However, this may not always be the case, or sometimes even making the move may end up scaring him away.
You need to pay attention to what he's opening up to you about; if he's talking about his family, how many kids he'd love to have, and his future prospects, your instincts may be right and he may really have feelings for you. However, if he's venting about past relationships, he's probably just looking for a shoulder to cry on.
7. Switching gears
If you both are past the initial stages of talking about your favorite movies, TV shows, colors, etc. then you may notice that he'd start to slot in some flirty or sexual topics here and there. This is his own way of testing if you both have a chance at being sexually compatible.
Sometimes, he may not be doing this consciously it's in a man’s nature to do that. However, if he starts the dirty talk a bit too early, then he's probably only interested in having sex with you. Don’t let these mixed messages confuse you.
8. He calls or texts you unexpectedly
If a person finds time outside their busy schedule or rest time to call or text you, this means that you are a significant person in his life. Whether or not you are in the same vicinity or you talk to each other daily, he'd want to talk to you often if he's interested in you. The only way he'd be able to do this is through calls or texts.
So, if he's calling you or chatting with you a lot, then he may have some extra feelings for you. Calling and texting you could be his way of reminding you that he still exists and that you're still on his mind.
On the other hand, if the only time he's texting or calling is by 12 midnight or after a wild night out, it wouldn't be advisable to read too deeply into it. He probably thinks of you as a booty call.
9. He pays more attention to you when there are other men around
When a man gets possessive or territorial over you, it's a signal that he may be interested in you. If you don't love something you won't go the extra mile to protect it, so if he suddenly puts his hand over your shoulder when another man walks in or he suddenly starts talking and laughing with you when he notices other men around, then he's probably into you.
However, this could also be a red light, there's a very thin line between being slightly possessive because you don't want to miss your chance with someone and being obsessively territorial. Behavior like this could lead to stalking and other sociopath behavior. In summary, the more subtle this extra attention is, the safer.
10. He introduces you to his friends
If he's comfortable introducing you to his friends, this could be a great sign. It could mean that he likes being associated with you and he's convinced that his friends would be comfortable around you. It also could mean that he's willing to make the connection between you both more solid.
However, it could also mean that he sees you as one of his buddies and just feels warm and comfortable having you around. If he suggests you both go out with a friend and his girlfriend, then he may be indirectly asking you out on a double date, which may mean that he has feelings for you.
But, if you were invited just to complete their bowling team for a competition, then you may want to disregard any mixed messages.
11. He goes AWOL after a pleasant date
It's normal for a relationship to take a good turn after a great first date. In fact, most people use the first date as the initial compatibility detector test. So, it's not unusual for you to expect things to move in the right direction after a great first date, in a perfect world it should.
However, if you find yourself waiting by the phone for his call or his text for more than 3 days, you probably shouldn't follow up on that. I mentioned three days because he could be shy or just trying not to look desperate, so he may have decided to give it time before he calls.
Either way, if you feel like you’re getting mixed signals from him concerning this, you may not want to invest your energy in it.
12. He texts you and doesn't give a response to your reply
It's now common knowledge that replying back to text messages is a big deal, no one likes to be ignored and no one deserves that either. So, if he texts you and you respond (especially if you did so on time), yet he leaves your message hanging, this is a mixed signal at its worst.
If this is something that he does all the time, then you shouldn't even waste your time or energy pursuing the relationship. It's not worth your time and it's a complete deal-breaker. On the other hand, if he hangs your messages just once in a while, then it means he's probably very busy.
13. He's confused about what he wants
Most quality, mature men are 100% sure about what they want, it's either they want something or they don't. If a man likes you, he likes you, there would be no confusion at all. If, for some reason, he keeps asking you out on dates, taking you out drinking, inviting you to Netflix and chill at his place, being intimate with you, etc.,
Yet he says he isn't ready for a relationship, then this is a no-go for you. This shows that he's just looking for someone to pass the time with until he finds a woman he truly likes, toaster up a real relationship with.
14. He keeps canceling on you
This is one of the worst ways of getting mixed messages. Waiting for someone and then ending up disappointed is the worst example of a mixed signal. No one deserves that kind of treatment and no one should be treated like that. So, you've been talking to this man for a while and it seems you hit it off quite easily.
You both seem very compatible and you both enjoy spending time together. He finally asks you out on an official date (which you've probably been anticipating by the way), then last minute, he just cancels on you. It's an indescribable feeling and can awaken some abandonment issues you may have dealt with in the past.
If this was a one-time thing and it happened because of an emergency or he has a very good excuse, then it can be pardoned. But if he keeps on doing it, things have to end.
15. He doesn't want you to see other people but won't commit to you
There's nothing as annoying as a man who just won't commit, it's a complete waste of your time and should not be your problem to deal with.
So, he keeps showing interest in you, asks you out on dates, is intimate with you but constantly avoids the idea or any discussions about a relationship. Yet if you even mention anything about seeing someone else or entertaining advances from other men, he'd get jealous or possessive. This is completely unacceptable, it's either he commits to a relationship with you or he doesn't.
16. He's still actively talking to other people
The truth is, you cannot control whoever you're in a relationship with. You can't tell him who to talk to, who to see, who to keep in his life, and who to kick out, that's all up to him. Relationships aren't about restricting each other, they're kind of a live and let live thing. It also involves you accepting your partner for who he is.
If your partner is still in contact with his ex or is leaving his options open even while seeing you, it's up to you to decide if that's ok with you. If it doesn't sit right with you, there's no shame in ending the relationship.
17. He doesn't like the idea of you both showing affection outdoors
This is a tricky one because it's hard to tell if he's giving you mixed signals or if he just isn't into PDA. When a man really likes you and decides to be in a committed relationship with you, he usually wants to show you off. Even if he's not a showy person, he wouldn't mind showing you affection in public.
If for some reason, he gets extra angry when you try to show him affection in public then he may just be trying to hide your relationship. However, most emotionally healthy men are okay with at least holding hands in public or hugging, but it's not impossible for an honest man who’s truly in love with you to reject PDA. It's up to you to decide if you're ok with that.
Mixed signals can be miscommunications from your significant other or just excuses he gives you to keep you distant, either to avoid commitment or for various other reasons. It's a way of saying, “I'm not sure if I'm into you”. Mixed signals could also mean that he loves you just conditionally.
Whatever you do, try not to jump to conclusions. It's possible that those mixed signals could be a result of his own personal problems. However, if you're very sure that his intentions aren’t pure, it's best to back off. There's no need to force relationships with people who don’t have strong feelings for you.
Some men send mixed signals because they're trying to take things slow with you. They may not always mean to confuse you, perhaps they want to get to know you better before making a move. He also may be struggling to communicate with you. Perhaps, he's nervous and doesn't know how to express his feelings without being weird about it.
You will definitely know when a man is giving you mixed signals, you can't miss it. One minute he acts like he adores you and the next he's all distant. This means he's not even sure about his own feelings, he may just like the way you dressed on a certain day then not really care for your look the next day, then give you the cold shoulder.
When a guy is genuinely interested in your life, your feelings, and your experiences, this means he really likes you. He'll ask you questions about why you like, what you're interested in, your passions, and other things. He won't keep going on about himself or try to impress you by boasting, he'll be genuinely interested in you.
I do hope you enjoyed reading this article. As always, kindly start/join a conversation in the comments and share the article with others.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.