6 Signs Of Emotionally Unavailable Men (What To Do?)

Dating emotionally unavailable men can be emotionally draining on you. These types of guys likely don’t know what they may be prone to messing you around somewhat due to their fear of relationships and commitment. You cannot help who you fall in love with but it may be difficult to know where you stand if you fall in love with an emotionally unavailable man. 

Emotionally unavailable men are usually afraid of commitment and often run at the mention of a serious relationship. They may stay around but will likely make it clear that they are not interested in a relationship. These types of guys usually have deep-rooted emotional issues that lead to their fear of commitment and relationships. 

Can They Keep A Relationship?

A relationship is likely not going to be on the cards if you are dating an emotionally unavailable man. If you are unable to connect to these men on an emotional level then it will likely not ever develop into a serious relationship. If you are dating an emotionally unavailable man it may help to understand what he is going through. 

Maybe you are wondering why this guy is still emotionally unavailable and why is he still single. This article may help you figure out the answers to these questions. These men often fear the pain and hurt that may be associated with getting emotionally attached to someone. They fear the worst and are scared that the inevitable result would be a breakup. 

Emotionally Unavailable Men

Angry Man In A Car

Emotionally unavailable guys likely went through something in their past that has caused them to feel this way about relationships and commitment. If you are with such a guy it is helpful to remember that he probably went through a difficult relationship and breakup in the past that has caused him these negative associations. 

If they have been through a painful breakup in the past they may have begun to associate relationships with everything negative. If they went through a terrible experience in the past then will likely not be ready to jump straight into another relationship before they are able to heal and resolve their emotional issues. 

Be understanding and be aware that he may have gone through an awful breakup that has now made him believe that every relationship will end in the same way. It is important to remember that this may be the case if this guy is not ready to commit to a relationship with you. He may find it hard to commit to anyone because of his past negative experiences.  

It will take time for him to be able to trust you to be able to tell you about his deepest feelings and fears. If he has been through trauma and pain before then it is likely that he is scared of having to go through this in the future. He may believe that every relationship he ends up in will end in pain and suffering. 

If his past experiences have led him to believe that if he gets close to anyone he will end up suffering and having to go through trauma it may be difficult for him to open up to you. Be patient with him and give him time to get to know that he can trust you and open up to you. It is important to show patience with these guys. 

It may be difficult to understand what he is going through especially if he hasn’t yet told you about everything that happened in his past. But if you really want to be with this guy then it is important to show patience and understanding. Don’t put pressure on him and make sure that he knows he can trust you enough to open up to you. 

Why Do Women Fall In Love With Emotionally Unavailable Guys?

Man Having Tea Girlfriend Sleeping

No one can choose who they fall in love with but many women do fall in love with emotionally unavailable men. Most women won’t agree but it is actually quite common that women fall for emotionally unavailable guys. Many women know what it is like to fall in love with these guys and how difficult it can be. 

Women who fall in love with emotionally unavailable men can often feel as if they don’t have any control or say in the relationship. This usually means that they end up working harder in the relationship and are the ones that inevitably do the chasing in the relationship. It is difficult to fall for someone who isn’t open to committing or settling down. 

He will probably be scared of emotional intimacy and getting too attached. He wants to maintain control in the relationship by making sure that he keeps his distance and doesn’t get too close. This often results in a non-defined and non-committal relationship where neither partner knows where they stand. 

It can be really difficult to find yourself in this situation if you have found yourself chasing an emotionally unavailable guy. If he is emotionally unavailable and you have fallen for this guy you have likely given him all you have got to give and he hasn’t given you much but confusion in return. It is hard to know what to do next. 

Unfortunately, if you fall in love with an unavailable man you may find yourself feeling drained and confused. If you have shown him how much you love him and he hasn’t given you anything in return it can be extremely frustrating. This can be a very difficult situation to be in and to know how to deal with. You need to decide whether he is really worth your time and effort. 

It is difficult to learn to stick up for yourself and stand your ground if this guy isn’t giving you anything in return. It is impossible to form a relationship without intimacy and love so if he is unwilling to ever give you these things it may never work out between you so make sure you are prepared for that possibility if you decide to pursue him. 

Signs That He Is Emotionally Unavailable

1. You don’t know where you stand.

This is a sure sign that this guy is emotionally unavailable, if you have no idea what is going on between you and you don’t know where you stand. If you have fallen for this guy and you have become emotionally invested in this guy it can be difficult to be unsure as to how you stand. If he isn’t sure what he wants he is likely emotionally unavailable. 

He may seem perfect when you first start dating but when things start to become a bit more serious and he refuses to commit then things can become extremely difficult. If he is resisting any kind of commitment or anything serious then he probably is emotionally unavailable. He may appear at first that he is perfect but soon it may become clear that he won’t commit to you. 

If it is clear that he is resisting any serious progression in your relationship or he won’t reveal his emotions or open up to you then he is probably emotionally unavailable and not likely to commit to a relationship with you. If he seems to close up at the mention of anything serious then he probably won’t ever be able to commit to you. 

2. He doesn’t think of you.

Man Wearing Sunglasses

If this guy seems to only think about himself then he is likely emotionally unavailable. If he often cancels your dates or he forgets to celebrate your birthday or he doesn’t seem to care when you are upset then he probably is an emotionally unavailable man. This is one of the clear signs that this man won’t be able to emotionally commit to you. 

If he is not able to think about you or anyone else but himself then it is likely that he is not ready to develop an emotional bond with someone. This also means that he probably isn’t ready for a serious relationship and it likely won’t change any time soon. If he doesn’t think of you he probably just doesn’t want to be bothered with an emotional connection with you or anyone. 

3. He doesn’t treat others well.

If he was nice to you when you first started dating but now you are starting to realize that he doesn’t treat his family or friends very well. If this is the case then he has likely cut off any emotional connection he had with them. This is not a very good soon if you are hoping to develop a relationship with this guy. 

Even if he is nice to you, if he treats others in this way then there is nothing to say that he won’t cut you off emotionally in the future. If he can treat his family like this then you may start wondering if he will ever treat you like this in the future. Is it really a good idea to go out with someone who doesn’t even treat his family and friends very well. 

If he can treat other people like this then it is likely that there is nothing stopping him from eventually treating you like this in the future. There is no way that you can no that he won’t treat you like this at some point. If he treats his family and friends in this way then how do you know that he won’t do the same to you?

4. He doesn’t accept responsibility for anything.

If he is emotionally unavailable he likely will not be able to accept responsibility for this emotional unavailability either. If he can’t take any responsibility for his actions then he is likely emotionally unavailable. He can’t take responsibility for his emotional non-availability or the resulting actions. 

Emotionally unavailable men believe that there is no need for them to say sorry or take responsibility for hurting or offending you or anyone else. They are also often good at manipulation. Emotionally unavailable men can often act as if they are always the victim in the relationship and always put the blame on you. 

Man Holding His Coat

Taking responsibility for your actions is important in any relationship and if your partner cannot do this then it means that he will always place the blame of every argument and disagreement on you. If you are dating an emotionally unavailable man then don’t expect him to take the blame for any actions that result from his emotional non-availability.

If you are dating an emotionally unavailable guy and you know that you want to stay with him then it is important that he agrees to learn to take responsibility and reflect on his actions. Only through this can you develop a real emotional intimacy with this person and in turn strengthen your relationship, otherwise it is always going to be very difficult for you. 

He needs to learn that he can’t always avoid taking responsibility and that he has done something wrong then he needs to take the blame for this. You cannot build a strong and stable relationship if your partner is completely unable to take any responsibility for his actions against you or in the relationship, it just isn’t going to work. 

It is important to remember however that these things will take time, if you have decided to stick by this guy’s side then you have to be aware that you will need to be patient as he won’t change overnight. It will take him time to get over his fear of taking responsibility, moreover, this will only happen if he has decided that he wants to change, you cannot force him to do something. 

4. He doesn’t speak to his family.

Men who are not emotionally available often have broken relationships with their family. It is common for this type of guy to have cut out the closest people to him and therefore he may have estranged relationships with his family. This is one of the signs that the guy you are dating is emotionally unavailable. 

There may be other reasons for the fact that he does not have strong and healthy relationships with his family, but if not he may have become estranged from them because of his emotional issues. It is important for you to consider this if you have started dating a guy who you think may be emotionally unavailable as this is a telltale sign that he is.

If you have spoken to him about the fact that he doesn’t speak to his family and he doesn’t even acknowledge the idea of fixing the issues he has with these people then he probably is emotionally unavailable. If he can’t see the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship with his family then how do you know he would be different in his relationship with you. 

You need to think carefully if this guy appears not to care about maintaining his relationships with his family. This is very common with emotionally unavailable guys. However, if you have a dream of having a family in the future then this may be an important factor in your decision as to whether you should continue dating this person. 

If he cannot maintain relationships with the closest people in his life then there is nothing to say that he would be any different with you in the future. If he is emotionally unavailable he likely has trouble keeping strong relationships with anyone, so make sure that you are aware of this before you decide to invest yourself in the relationship with him. 

5. He doesn’t want a relationship.

Man Crossed Arms

If he is emotionally unavailable he likely will not be into the idea of building intimacy and an emotional bond with another person. He will likely be completely opposed to the idea of building a relationship with someone. He will want all of the good things that come from dating but he will not agree to the responsibility of a relationship. 

It is important to remember that if he is set against the idea of a relationship then there is likely nothing that you can do to change his mind. No matter how much you want a relationship with this guy he is probably not going to change his mind anytime soon. Emotionally unavailable guys often fear even the thought of a relationship and the responsibility that comes with it. 

This is one of the sure signs that he is emotionally unavailable. If he wants to spend time with you but he does not want to commit to anything with you then he likely has emotional issues. Unavailable people often cannot commit to the responsibility of looking after someone else therefore his defense mechanism is to avoid committing to someone else. 

This is one of the warning signs to be aware of if you think you may have fallen for someone who is not emotionally available. To build a connection, two people need emotional intimacy and if this person is not emotionally unavailable then you will not likely see this man committing to you. 

6. He doesn’t think that he has issues.

It can take a lot of time for a man to realize that he has emotional issues. If you are dating a guy that is emotionally non-available then it is likely that he is not aware that he is. It takes a lot of inner thinking and analyzing your emotions to realize that you are not available on an emotional level and this is even harder to do if you bury all of your emotions. 

He may not even be aware of the emotional problems that he has even if other people see it clearly. However, this is a warning sign, if you and others believe that this guy has issues while he is unaware of them then this is something to be careful if you are dating a guy like this. He may just want sex but will be against developing any intimate connection with you. 

7. He doesn’t last long in relationships.

If you see a future for the two of you but you know that he has had relationships with others that haven’t lasted for more than one or two months, then this is a warning sign that you need to watch out for. There is probably a reason that he hasn’t been able to stay with one person for very long, so be aware of this. 

If he doesn’t talk about his past with you, you know that he has never had a serious partnership with someone or you know that he has always dated multiple people at a time then this is a sure sign that he cannot commit to one person. So be aware if you are hoping for something serious with this one. If he hasn’t been able to commit in the past why would he be different with you?

Couple Having Coffee Woman At The Back


What is an emotionally unavailable man?

An emotionally unavailable man is someone who is not connected to his emotions and is likely opposed to the idea of creating an emotional connection with another person. Emotionally unavailable men are usually against the idea of committing to someone else as they don’t want to accept the responsibility of looking after another person. 

How do you know when a man is emotionally unavailable?

A man is likely emotionally unavailable if he is opposed to the idea of commitment at all costs, he doesn’t have a bond with his family members and does not even talk to them, he refuses to accept any responsibility to his actions and he hasn’t opened up to you or revealed his inner emotions or feelings to you even though you have been together for a while. 

Can emotionally unavailable men fall in love?

Emotionally unavailable men can fall for someone. if an emotionally unavailable man has fallen for you and you have fallen for him then it is likely going to take a lot of time and patience in order for you to develop emotional intimacy with this guy. It will probably take even longer for him to get over his fear of committing to someone in his life so be aware of this. 

How do you deal with an emotionally unavailable man?

If you are dating an emotionally non-available man it may be helpful to speak to a life coach. If you have decided that you want to invest your adult life in this man then make sure you know that it is going to take time. Don’t put too much pressure on him to commit, be understanding that he has issues, and allow him to build up his trust in you before anything else. 

Can an emotionally unavailable man change?

An emotionally non-available man is someone that can change. However, you cannot get this man to change unless he has decided that he wants to make this change in his life. You cannot put pressure on him unless he wants to grow himself. If this man has told you he wants to change then be patient, understanding and help him build trust in you. 


If you are dating a guy that is not emotionally available then you may be in for a difficult time ahead. This is someone that rarely commits to anything in his life so be aware of the signs that he is not emotionally available. However, he may change, it will just take a lot of understanding and patience so be ready to invest your time in his life. 

Let us know about your experiences in the comments and don’t forget to share this article!

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