What do you do if your husband refuses to work and won’t get a job? If you have been married for a long time it may be a very hard decision to divorce him for this reason.
You likely feel a lot of resentment and hurt because of your partner’s refusal to look after you and your family, you may even feel betrayed and let down by him.
Your partner may be suffering from low self-worth or he has become overly dependent on you, leading him to refuse to work because he has become too comfortable in your current situation. So what should you do?
My Husband Refuses To Work: Should I Divorce Him?
If you have found yourself in a relationship that is one-sided where your partner refuses to put any effort into supporting your family, it is likely that there is a lot of strain on your marriage. If he continues to refuse to work and look after his family you may have no other option but to leave him, keep reading to find out what you should do.
1. Find Out What His Reasons Are For Refusing To Work.
First of all, it is important to find out exactly what is going on in your partner’s head, what is he thinking and why does he not want to work. There may be something much greater going on in your husband’s mind rather than him simply refusing to get a job. There may be fundamental issues that are causing this refusal to work.
These issues may be causing difficulties in your marriage and may explain the reasons why your husband doesn’t want to or won’t work. While it may be difficult, it is important that you communicate well with your partner. Sit down and have a proper, honest conversation about what is going on.
Find out what happened at his last job and whether this is the reason why he doesn’t want to work again. Figure out whether he is struggling with larger issues or whether he is unhappy in his life. Try and determine what is making him refuse to work. It may help to have this conversation in the presence of a counselor or a therapist, as it may make it easier.
2. Take A Break.
If your husband still refuses to even consider getting a job after you have had this conversation with him, it may be time to consider separating or taking a break from each other, especially if his lack of work is causing your financial hardship. If you have to support him, while he is providing nothing for your family, you may need to walk away for a while.
In this case, you may have to resort to giving your husband an ultimatum. If nothing else has worked, telling him how you feel and counseling has made no difference, you may have no other choice at this point. While divorce can still be avoided at this point, a separation may give him the time he needs to realize what he might lose if he doesn’t change his ways.
If you believe that separation in marriage is necessary it may be helpful to look for the guidance of a legal separation counsel. According to legal separation UK, it may be necessary and helpful to the situation if your husband moves out of your house, for the time being at least. This will give you both the space that you need and the time to think.
3. Put Yourself First.
If you find yourself in this situation and your partner refuses to work and support you and your family, it is important that you remember to put the needs of you and your family first. You need to be able to look after your family and pay your bills. If he refuses to help it may be time for him to leave until he realizes that he has to put his family first.
4. Admit That You Are Unhappy.
If your partner refuses to contribute to your family by avoiding working, he is not treating you well, and supporting you as a marital partner should. He is placing all of the financial burden and responsibilities on you and it is important that you acknowledge that this is not fair. It may even be considered to be a form of abuse and manipulation.
If your partner refuses to even talk about the situation or find a solution to the issues that he may even be emotionally manipulating you too. He is using his position against you to keep you looking after him. It is important to realize that this is not a happy marriage and you need to think about walking away from this guy.
If your partner refuses to work, you have likely built up resentment toward him and this will likely mount if you don’t speak to him about it or you refuse to address your own feelings. You are likely overworked, exhausted, and unhappy and it is time to admit that you need to get out of this situation.
5. Look For Help.
If you have been arguing with your partner for a long time over his refusal to work it is likely that you have ceased any form of healthy communication with each other. It is important that you consider getting support and speaking to someone who is going to listen to you without judgment. This may be in the form of counseling or therapy or even a close friend.
It may be helpful to go to therapy alone at first, without your partner so that you can be completely honest with yourself about your feelings. In time, bring your partner along and see whether it helps you to find solutions to your issues.
You can divorce your husband for any reason that means you are not happy in your marriage. It may be helpful to look at separation marriage first before you go along with divorce proceedings and talking to a divorce lawyer. Separation may give your husband the time that he needs to realize what he would lose if you went through with the divorce proceeding.
If your husband refuses to work, he doesn’t earn any money to support your family, he hasn’t had a job in years and he doesn’t even do household chores or look after the kids, it is time to stop accepting this. Marriages should be equally balanced and your husband needs to put in as much effort as you do in supporting your family.
If your husband is not working and you want to go through a divorce process it may be helpful to speak to a lawyer to determine what he is and isn’t entitled to in a divorce. It is normal to be unhappy if you are the only person in your relationship that is working and supporting your family and children. If things don’t go well perhaps consider getting a court order.
If you are not happy in your marriage, it is important that you communicate with your husband about how you are feeling and try and find a solution to your issues together. If this doesn’t work try separating from each other for a while and see if this may help things. Your last resort should be a divorce if you are still not happy, even if your husband doesn’t want the same thing.
If your husband isn’t working and he is not earning any money to help your family and children it is understandable to be unhappy and annoyed. If you decide to file for a divorce it is important that you get the help of a divorce lawyer so you can settle any money issues and any problem that may arise legally.
All In All…
If your husband refuses to work, he hasn’t had a job in a long time and he doesn’t even help out with his own kids, you have a problem. It is understandable to be unhappy and annoyed at your partner and no one should have to put up with a one-sided marriage. It may be helpful to consider a separation before you decide on getting a divorce from your spouse.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.