They say that opposites attract. You can learn a lot from each other if your partner is your total opposite. Some say that polar opposites are naturally drawn to each other. Others, however, swear that you have to have a partner that you have plenty in common with. If you are interested in dating your opposite, there are a few things that you need to know.
- 0.1 How To Maintain A Healthy Relationship When Dating Your Opposite
- 0.1.1 1. Try to avoid complaining about your partner
- 0.1.2 2. Support your partner’s interests
- 0.1.3 3. Take things slow
- 0.1.4 4. Always respect your partner’s boundaries
- 0.1.5 5. Encourage them to join your world
- 0.1.6 6. Discover things you have in common
- 0.1.7 7. Having common values is important
- 0.1.8 8. Appreciate what you both bring to the table
- 0.1.9 9. Do your own thing
- 0.1.10 10. Keep your own opinions
- 0.1.11 11. Make sure your communication skills are wonderful
- 0.1.12 12. Find common ground with new ideas
- 0.1.13 13. Compromise
- 0.1.14 14. Don’t make a big deal out of doing things together
- 0.1.15 15. Make sure that you give back
- 0.1.16 16. Challenge each other
- 0.1.17 17. Discuss your differences
- 0.1.18 18. Divide things up
- 0.1.19 19. Stay open-minded
- 0.1.20 20. Don’t try to change them
- 0.1.21 21. Appreciate all of the good things about the relationship
- 0.2 FAQs
- 0.3 Conclusion
How To Maintain A Healthy Relationship When Dating Your Opposite
Dating your opposite can be interesting. However, it can also take a toll on both of you. One partner will want to do things that the other person finds draining or unbelievably boring. It can seem tedious to talk to each other because the two of you do not have the same interests. It’s possible to have a healthy relationship, but you need to keep these things in mind.
1. Try to avoid complaining about your partner
Just because the two of you are polar opposites, it doesn’t mean that something is wrong with them. It can be hard to not slip up and complain at times, but it’s important that you try not to. This can make your partner feel inadequate, which isn’t something that you want.
2. Support your partner’s interests
Try to show a genuine interest in what your partner has going on. Watch them play their favorite sport. Listen to them gush about a new project that they are working on. Not only will this let your partner know that you are accepting of them, but it will help them be more comfortable with you. Before you know it, the two of you will have so much trust that you can share anything.
3. Take things slow
When you date a partner that you have a lot of common interests with, you’ll find the relationship instantly heading into the honeymoon phase. That isn’t always the case if you’re dating your opposite.
Instead, you’ll need to take the time to truly understand your partner. You need to empathize and put yourself in their shoes a bit more so that you can understand their world. This is necessary to have a healthy partnership when you are dating your opposite. If you try to do that all day, every day you’ll quickly discover that you’re emotionally exhausted. Instead, take things slow.
4. Always respect your partner’s boundaries
You’ll quickly find that you and your partner have different boundaries if they are your total opposite. For example, an introverted person might not want to go out as much. Likewise, extroverted people might start to feel trapped if they are in the house too much. Respect what your partner likes and doesn’t like, and what their boundaries are to form a lasting relationship.
5. Encourage them to join your world
If your partner loves going out every night, encourage them to stay home once in a while. They might like having some downtime more than they realized!
Encourage your partner to try new activities. You might find that the two of you have a few things in common after all. You should also step outside of your comfort zone and into their world. We grow as people by going outside of the box.
6. Discover things you have in common
Even though your partner is your total opposite, it doesn’t mean that the two of you have nothing in common. You might share the same opinions about certain topics. Discuss different ideas and controversial topics with them to see where you both stand. You are bound to have a few things in common.
7. Having common values is important
When you’re dating your opposite, it can be a little too easy to brush things off as saying it doesn’t matter because the two of you are polar opposites. That can be a disaster for the relationship, though.
The same things that are important in every other relationship, such as honesty, are important when you’re dating your opposite too. It’s important to discuss life goals and values before entering into a serious relationship. There should be some common ground in those areas.
8. Appreciate what you both bring to the table
While a relationship with two people that have a lot in common can be nice, it can also get boring after so long. You may also find that because you both hate the same household chore it’s a constant disagreement. This is common when you have a lot in common with your partner.
When you’re dating someone that is your opposite, you’ll find that you balance each other out. While you sweep and vacuum, they might not mind doing the dishes. The same applies to other things in life too, such as those who tell the waitress they messed up the order.
9. Do your own thing
While it’s important to try new things, you don’t always have to do something your partner is interested in. In healthy relationships, both people have lives outside of the partnership too. Take the time to enjoy your personal hobbies, friendships, and doing what you love. There’s nothing wrong with that.
10. Keep your own opinions
I see this a lot in relationships when two people that are opposites start dating. One person is suddenly interested in all of their partner’s interests. They change their opinions to match their partners in an attempt to impress them. This isn’t how healthy relationships work, though.
Stay true to yourself no matter how different you and your partner are. They probably love the things that you’re trying to change!
11. Make sure your communication skills are wonderful
It’s easy to misunderstand people. This happens even more so when you are dating someone that isn’t like you. It’s because you think that other people mean the same thing that you do when they say something. It doesn’t work like this when you’re with your opposite. More than likely, the two of you will have different perspectives on quite a few things.
Because you two have such different perspectives, you’ll want to make sure that you communicate with them. Ask them to clarify if you’re not sure what they mean by something. The best relationships are ones in which the partners can communicate with each other.
12. Find common ground with new ideas
While you don’t have to have everything in common, it can help to have at least something in common. If the two of you are having a hard time in that area, it’s time to try some interesting stuff together.
If your partner is a free spirit, try enjoying that energy with them. Take a few different classes together. Try new hobbies. You might not have similar interests, but there’s bound to be common ground somewhere.
When you are committed to anyone, you’re going to have to compromise with each other. This is especially true if you guys are total opposites. If your partner loves to watch the news, you are going to have to watch a different television or watch the news with them.
For a compromise, they can watch your favorite show with you. This is another way that opposites balance each other out.
14. Don’t make a big deal out of doing things together
Just like you shouldn’t complain about them having different interests, don’t rub it in if they miss out on something. Avoid making a big deal out of what they like or don’t like. Instead, your relationship needs to have understanding and kindness in order for you to have a happy relationship.
15. Make sure that you give back
Relationships are both give and take. It’s not fair if you expect your partner to step out of their comfort zone but refuse to step outside of yours. If you’re total opposites, you need to give back.
If not, the relationship can quickly feel one-sided for one partner. When you both are willing to both give and take, it creates a good balance. This is essential for you to have a good relationship with your opposite.
16. Challenge each other
While you should respect their perspective and boundaries, there’s nothing wrong with challenging each other to try new things. Discovering something new or trying someone new is never a bad thing. Plan a date that involves them doing something new.
Come up with a date idea together. Enjoy a quiet picnic with your extroverted partner. Just because you guys have different personalities doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy and explore those differences.
17. Discuss your differences
While finding common ground is important, you don’t always want to focus on things that you have in common. If your partner is your opposite and thinks differently than you, it’s important to discuss that. You won’t understand your partner on an emotional level if you don’t learn more about them and your differences. This is especially important if you just started dating.
18. Divide things up
If you’re dating your opposite, you’re bound to have different tastes. You’ll also have different things that you like, or don’t like, around the house. If you both feel so strongly about your preferences, consider dividing things between the two of you.
For example, a previous partner and I could not seem to agree on how to decorate the house. We divided up the house. I got to decorate certain rooms and he decorated others. Neither person was allowed to be pessimistic about the other person's room.
You can also divide up who chooses what to do on weekends by alternating weekends. Each person can have separate chores. You can both have separate spaces in the house if one of you prefers some quiet time alone. It’s all about being able to compromise.
19. Stay open-minded
It’s important to be accepting and not judgemental when you’re dating your opposite. Yes, you can find common ground. However, there are going to be plenty of times that you don’t do similar things. As you become more enmeshed in each other’s lives, you’ll challenge each other to do things that are different.
During those times, stay opening minded. Make sure that you get to know both your partner and what they like to do on a deeper level.
20. Don’t try to change them
When we’re younger, we think that the way we are is the best. This is simply part of growing up. As we grow older, we learn that everyone has both their positive and negative aspects. However, some of those things that we perceive as negative can quickly irritate us. Instead of accepting that they hang on to everything, we try to convince them to de-clutter.
This isn’t a great way to build a partnership. It sends your partner the message that you don’t accept them for who they are. It tells them that you don’t want them to be themselves.
Instead, you need to take a good look at who they are. Don’t think about who you want them to be. Avoid focusing on their potential. Realize who they are now, and accept them for that. If you can’t do that, it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship.
21. Appreciate all of the good things about the relationship
Sometimes, your opposite will get on your nerves. In fact, almost everyone is bound to do something that annoys you at some point in time. However, you’re going to find that happens a lot more depending on what your differences are.
Don’t dwell on those things, though. Instead, appreciate the wonderful things that go hand in hand with dating your opposite. Because the two of you have different personalities, you’ll find that you balance each other out. They bring a different perspective to the table.
When you’re with your opposite, they always have a different idea so you’re constantly exposed to something new. Those little aspects of their personality that are so different from yours can make the relationship wonderful and interesting. Appreciate that.
Yes! It can be fun and exciting. You’ll learn quite a bit about other people when you date someone with an opposite personality. You’ll also learn how to see things from a different perspective. These relationships only work if you have good communication skills, though.
They can. This often depends on the people. In these relationships, it’s important that the two of you can communicate well with one another. You’ll both need to respect the other person and the way that the other person is. Having your own space is another key to making this work.
Yes. Everyone should date their opposite at least once. Not only will they expose you to new things and perspectives, but they’ll also show you a whole new world. You’ll learn to compromise and the importance of communication. When you’re with them, they’ll challenge you.
Usually, opposites are drawn to each other like magnets. You’ll find that there’s chemistry when the two of you are close together. It can take some time to adjust to that spark that you feel between the two of you, but it’s well worth it once you get over the awkwardness.
It’s better to marry someone that is different but has the same core values. If you both have different core values, it can and often does destroy a relationship. However, if you have different hobbies and personalities it can spice up the relationship. You’ll never get bored with your partner!
Dating your opposite can be very rewarding, but it also comes with its challenges. You’ll need to be respectful and understanding. Communicating with each other is an absolute necessity. They’ll take you outside of your normal, and you need to be comfortable with that. Have you ever dated your opposite before? How did it turn out?
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.